Newly-Divorced Dad of 2, looking for encouragement

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IronDad92

Guest
#1
New to the forums, but hoping there are others who have been through this. After 11 years, wife said she wants out and is finalizing a divorce. I have never believed in it, and never thought it would happen to me. Myself and 2 children are devastated.

Any hope??
 
Aug 16, 2016
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#2
Sorry to hear about your marriage problems. I pray that somehow you too can still work it out. God takes marriage vows seriously & there's only few exceptions for divorce. It sounds like you don't want the divorce but she does. God will not hold you accountable but he will hold her accountable if she follows through with it. Perhaps you can discuss with her the seriousness of divorce in Gods eyes.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,680
13,366
113
#3
Welcome to CC, IronDad! :)

My wife up and left the marriage over three years ago, taking our kids with her. It hurt terribly. Every situation has its unique nuances, but every divorce stinks. Stick around, make some new friends, and seek the Lord. Ask Him what He wants to change in you... and ask Him to deal with your wife as He chooses. :)

You might like to sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org... and check out the YouTube videos with Patrick Doyle (through TheDoveTv channel). He has some important insights to dealing with relational conflict.

May the Lord bless you with His peace and presence... you will need it! :)
 
Y

yaright

Guest
#4
Hi IronDad92. Of the many struggles a person goes through, this certainly is up there with the tough ones. I am so sorry that the family is being pulled apart. It usually takes two to divorce. In as much as you might hear suggestions that your wife is going in the wrong direction, you are a part of that relationship. Using verses against your wife will not solve what needs to change. Be careful not to put the children between you and your wife. You need to be strong for them; suck it up and allow the little ones enjoy being children. Their mom is not dead. Why would they need to be devastated?
 
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IronDad92

Guest
#5
Really appreciate the kind words everyone. It has brought me to my knees seeking Him like never before, that is for sure.

I hope God can help us make lemonade out of these lemons. Here is praying for reconciliation and hope.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#6
Hi IronDad -

Welcome to CC!

I've been through it too. Wife didn't want to be married any more. Three kids.

Life DOES go on...and you WILL get past this! In the meantime, don't be surprised if you feel a whole bunch of strange things...even emotions that you may not consider appropriate given the circumstances. I remember going from grief to rage to guilt to euphoria to fear all in the course of ten minutes or so many times when I was going through my separation. Don't over-analyze and wonder if such things are normal - there is no normal.

Continue to seek God and be a godly example to your kids while going through this.
 
S

Sure

Guest
#7
Dear Friend, it,s disheartening and devastating to hear conflict in marriages leading to divorce. You can loose a car, gold wristwatch,shares on the exchange, house or any other valuable and recover from the loss but you hardly recover from the shock of a marriage you have committed so much to build because it is beyond material things. However, go down on your knees and talk more with God for wisdom to address the issues involved. HE [God] that made male and female and the institution of marriage will make it work again. Be strong brother. '' For nothing is impossible with God'' Luke 1:37
 
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Sure

Guest
#8
Dear Friend, it,s disheartening and devastating to hear conflict in marriages leading to divorce. You can loose a car, gold wristwatch,shares on the exchange, house or any other valuable and recover from the loss but you hardly recover from the shock of a marriage you have committed so much to build because it is beyond material things. However, go down on your knees and talk more with God for wisdom to address the issues involved. HE [God] that made male and female and the institution of marriage will make it work again. Be strong brother. '' For nothing is impossible with God'' Luke 1:37
 
Dec 19, 2009
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#9
New to the forums, but hoping there are others who have been through this. After 11 years, wife said she wants out and is finalizing a divorce. I have never believed in it, and never thought it would happen to me. Myself and 2 children are devastated.

Any hope??
I am sorry you are going through this. You can pray to the Lord to save your marriage. However, perhaps it is the Lord's will that she leave, and perhaps you will be better off if she does.
 
S

Sure

Guest
#10
God is never late, He is always on time, ever present and faithful. He fills our mouth[lives] with good things. Psalm 103:5
 

Awakened

Senior Member
Dec 4, 2016
127
7
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#11
*** Many woman wake up one day and say "Who am I? Do I want to be here? Is THIS all there is?
It's easy to get lost in your family and children. You're running around being a mom, a wife, juggling whatever career we have. Where did that fun sexy woman go? They become unhappy and start searching for happiness. They believe happiness is reliant upon the acquisition of something new or something different.
Sometimes people have to learn that happiness is a choice. It's not a reaction to present circumstances. Instead, happiness is an available decision despite them.

True joy and true happiness comes from our faith in Jesus Christ. Joy and true happiness is everlasting because the source of it is everlasting. Until someone realizes this they search for it in all the wrong places.

Focus your attention on Yahusha/Jesus. Have as much fun with your children as possible. Show her that the three of you are happy and make her want to part of that.
 
Mar 26, 2016
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#12
Yes, there is hope. You never know what God will do with the marriage, but regardless of what happens, there is hope. You focus on God and your kids. Right now, and maybe for a long time yet, it will hurt and it will be full of a lot of emotions, but one day, God will help you move forward, you will be okay. I know exactly what it is like so I am not just saying it - I lived it.
 
L

lilmama

Guest
#13
Hi IronDad92 I'm divorced as well with 1 child. I wasn't married near as long as you,but divorce is divorce so I understand what you're going through. There is definitely hope to keep If you'd like to private chat you can e mail me [email protected]
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
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Tennessee
#14
New to the forums, but hoping there are others who have been through this. After 11 years, wife said she wants out and is finalizing a divorce. I have never believed in it, and never thought it would happen to me. Myself and 2 children are devastated.

Any hope??
There is always hope but it is hard to say if there is hope for your marriage without more details. You are not alone in this type of devastation as others on this site, including myself have already traveled that long twisting road. Glad to have you join us in our on-going conversation. Welcome to CC.
 

mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,449
218
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#15
Oh, yes there is always hope in the Lord. When I first got, divorced I was so devastated that I literally had to right a list of just the things I know were concrete about my G-d like: He would never leave me or forsake me, He is my strong tower in can run into and be saved, even He would never flood the Earth again was on my list. then I remember, I had a conversation with my dad, we were talking about my hopelessness I was feeling and he shared with me about his divorce (now my dad is the greatest Christian I know) and as he was talking he cried. This gave me such great hope. See my dad has been happy for the past 20 years after his divorce even though he still got sad over his ex-wife because he still loves her. I realized in that conversation there may always be a part of me that is sad but devastated without happiness will not last forever. I have been divorced for 13 years now and G-d has made me whole in Him. Time does not heal all wounds but G-d DOES!!! Yes, and am still sad my ex-husband left me to for another woman who he got pregnant during our marriage. I wanted until death do us part; but I can honestly tell you before G-d, He has made me whole lacking nothing, even finances (don't take that wrong but running a household and raising children on one income does matter in divorce), because, well He is just who He is G-d!!!!