My heart is broken for you.
My son had brain surgery in October (age 23) and he has since climbed into a dark black hole. His face is partially disfigured from the procedure and he was a handsome boy, with a nice career and a hearty spirit. It's all gone. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out the right spiritual advice to give him.
So I know a tiny bit of what you're going through. What is there to say to someone in a dark predicament? I've tried to tell my son, no matter how despondent and no matter how dark the darkness...you always take the next step. Many times in life we just know the next single step to take and nothing more. I told him I believe God always provides at least the next step. One foot in front of the other. God bless you, sister.