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Thread: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

  1. #21
    Junior Member FaithfulservantofGod's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Maybe u have lit issue that u never noticed until it turn in disliking each other. So for me it's good for both party to talk each other every night before they sleep. Check and monitor whats goin on and what was happened the whole day. That's my point of view even I'm not married.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Sure it is allabout mutual understanding. Husband should honour nd love their wive. Marriage is beutiful

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Marriage for me is sacred. Way of expressing your love to the godly person u choose to be with forever. A promised between you and God that you will love your partner eternal. In preparation of marriage for me is learning to correct what was wrong to your past relationship. In order to have a good relationship in the present always check yourself and humble yourself if there's aren't between your partner. Never sleep until u didn't finish the issue.say sorry if u hurt your partner. Pray and always understand ur partner and always put urself into the situation of your partner. Why he is telling u some issue about ur attitudes listen carefully and ask God to help u to understand him.

    God doesn't like us to encounter divorce but it's all our mistake cos we didn't take care of our relationship to the person we promised to love forever.

    Praying for godly marriage not for myself only but for everyone here.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Marriage is ordined by God he created Adam and God saw Adam ws lonely and single so he took a rib. Bone from Adam and he made Eve

    Marriage is sacred Husband should love respect their wife and wife should be submissive to their husband

    It is so sweet when you marry a spouse loving and faithful

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    Thanks. I had a dream a few weeks ago, she was crying and wanted to come back.
    She can if she wants. There are entire decades I have forgotten, so the past year shouldn't be a problem.
    Why don't you call her up or visit her and tell her she can come back? You could be proactive and show leadership that way, rather than just waiting for her to decide. You can pray about it and if you believe it is wise, you could even tell her about the dream. If you think she'd deny the desire to reconcile if she had it if you told her, you could refrain from telling it.

    14 For God does speak—now one way, now another—
    though no one perceives it.
    15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on people
    as they slumber in their beds,
    16 he may speak in their ears
    and terrify them with warnings,
    17 to turn them from wrongdoing
    and keep them from pride,
    18 to preserve them from the pit,
    their lives from perishing by the sword.
    (NIV)

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by FaithfulservantofGod View Post
    Marriage for me is sacred. Way of expressing your love to the godly person u choose to be with forever. A promised between you and God that you will love your partner eternal. In preparation of marriage for me is learning to correct what was wrong to your past relationship. In order to have a good relationship in the present always check yourself and humble yourself if there's aren't between your partner. Never sleep until u didn't finish the issue.say sorry if u hurt your partner. Pray and always understand ur partner and always put urself into the situation of your partner. Why he is telling u some issue about ur attitudes listen carefully and ask God to help u to understand him.

    God doesn't like us to encounter divorce but it's all our mistake cos we didn't take care of our relationship to the person we promised to love forever.

    Praying for godly marriage not for myself only but for everyone here.
    I've heard preachers say, "Don't go to bed angry." and quote "Let not the sun go down on your wrath."

    But I've found those kinds of discussions with my wife are more likely to feel like arguments or become arguments that don't go anywhere if we have them late at night. A Bible college professor friend of mine who used to be a missionary was talking about how most arguments start after 10 PM. I realized my insistence on settling issues with my wife before going to sleep wasn't good and wasn't really Biblical.

    The Bible says not to let the sun go down on your wrath. If you have some conflict with your spouse after sundown, you have until sundown the next day. Some times it makes more sense to sleep and sort it out when you are both well rested. It's a lot better than being sleepy and tired and going around and around in circles in a pointless conversation while you are both tired and grumpy.
    Pilkington, Magenta and Depleted like this.

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    Senior Member Dan58's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    There are no guarantees brother.
    Truer words were never spoken ... People change and develop different interest. Priorities change, attitudes change, desires change, habits change, etc. The person you marry might be a completely different person a few years down the road.. Life has a way of sending people in different directions, to the point where they can grow so far apart that they no longer have much in common. If you want an iron-clad guarantee, get a dog
    proverbs35, Mooky and Pilkington like this.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by TemporaryCircumstances View Post
    Both parents together as an expectation for a wife? I'm sorry but I don't understand. Can someone explain?
    Why hold someone accountable for their PARENT'S actions and mistakes?
    That sounds like a very western individualist way of thinking. Asian collectivists tend to think a spouse from a good family is likely to have good family values.

    I'm a man, so I'll talk about marrying a woman. If you marry a woman who had a good, strong home life with parents who got along well and did not argue and were not verbally abusive, communicated affection for one another and the children, then she has a good 'script' to imitate as a wife and parent. She had a father in the home, so she may know how to react to men and submit to a male authority figure. She may know how to express affection with her husband and be comfortable receiving expressions of affection.

    But if she was raised just by her mom, men may seem like strange creatures to her. She is not used to interrelating with a man on a daily basis, and may not have much experience submitting to a male authority figure. She may feel uncomfortable receiving affection from a man and may not know how to handle it.

    If her mom sat around telling her how bad men are all the time, you'll have to deal with that, too.

    If she had verbally abusive parents, the 'script' may tell her to call her kids ugly and stupid, and her husband, too. If she grew up in a violent home, that may seem normal to her.

    You can apply a lot of this to a man raised in a dysfunctional family as well.

    But I believe God can redeem people. One of the problem with lists of criteria is if you get too detailed, almost no one can marry. There are a lot of great potential spouses out there who have flaws. Everyone has a flaw. IMO, commitment to staying married, staying faithful, and issues related to not being excessively angry and not being violent are good ones to have for non-negotiables. It is also wise to reject an excessively lazy person as a potential spouse.

    Dating or courtship should be to find a spouse, too, not for entertainment purposes.

    My wife's family background was not ideal, and she has been a blessing to me. I don't think it is wise to be too insistent about a spouse coming from a perfect family and having absolutely no flaws.

  9. #29
    Junior Member FaithfulservantofGod's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Maybe you are right bro but I Base this situation in one of the scripture Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So before both of you pray fix before giving offering yourself in praying. My dad used this as example when I and sister fought each other. And then my dad asked my sister and I to pray of repentance and pray each other.

    And until now I used this taught from my dad.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by FaithfulservantofGod View Post
    Maybe you are right bro but I Base this situation in one of the scripture Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So before both of you pray fix before giving offering yourself in praying. My dad used this as example when I and sister fought each other. And then my dad asked my sister and I to pray of repentance and pray each other.

    And until now I used this taught from my dad.
    I try to pray for my wife every night. I've just had the occasional experience when she gets in a bad mood and she's sleepy where talking through an issue at night doesn't work. We've prayed through issues late and night and that has worked. This is an occasional thing, though.

    I also made the mistake of resolving that we wouldn't sleep until we worked through some argument that didn't have anything behind it other than tiredness, and kept her awake over the idea of not going to bed angry. I was young, and it wasn't wise. The verse says not to let the sun set on your wrath. Biblical days start at sundown. Now, if she gets like that, I let her sleep, and I try to get to sleep. But it's a rare thing.

    But if talking through an issue and making up works for a couple, that's great. I'd like that if issues could be resolved quickly. Sometimes my wife needs a bit of time to cool down and process if she's upset, even if it is over nothing, nothing but being tired and grump, and it can be really easy to resolve after a good night's sleep, but difficult late at night.

    When you have lots of kids, you can get really tired late at night and end up staying up later than you'd planned to unwind.
    Last edited by presidente; January 6th, 2017 at 01:58 PM.
    Depleted likes this.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    There is a guarantee words and promises when you rely to God all the time. Ex. If you asked something to your father and youRe such obedient to him you think he will not grant what u ask to him? Ofcourse he will grant it. So there's guarantee when we rest all to God. Try to watch fire proof that's one of agreat testimonials that God can do in unhappy marriage.

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    FaithfulservantofGod,

    Praying to God certainly does help resolve conflicts in marriage, even the kind where you aren't getting along and aren't quite sure why.

  13. #33
    Senior Member TemporaryCircumstances's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by presidente View Post
    That sounds like a very western individualist way of thinking. Asian collectivists tend to think a spouse from a good family is likely to have good family values.

    I'm a man, so I'll talk about marrying a woman. If you marry a woman who had a good, strong home life with parents who got along well and did not argue and were not verbally abusive, communicated affection for one another and the children, then she has a good 'script' to imitate as a wife and parent. She had a father in the home, so she may know how to react to men and submit to a male authority figure. She may know how to express affection with her husband and be comfortable receiving expressions of affection.

    But if she was raised just by her mom, men may seem like strange creatures to her. She is not used to interrelating with a man on a daily basis, and may not have much experience submitting to a male authority figure. She may feel uncomfortable receiving affection from a man and may not know how to handle it.

    If her mom sat around telling her how bad men are all the time, you'll have to deal with that, too.

    If she had verbally abusive parents, the 'script' may tell her to call her kids ugly and stupid, and her husband, too. If she grew up in a violent home, that may seem normal to her.

    You can apply a lot of this to a man raised in a dysfunctional family as well.

    But I believe God can redeem people. One of the problem with lists of criteria is if you get too detailed, almost no one can marry. There are a lot of great potential spouses out there who have flaws. Everyone has a flaw. IMO, commitment to staying married, staying faithful, and issues related to not being excessively angry and not being violent are good ones to have for non-negotiables. It is also wise to reject an excessively lazy person as a potential spouse.

    Dating or courtship should be to find a spouse, too, not for entertainment purposes.

    My wife's family background was not ideal, and she has been a blessing to me. I don't think it is wise to be too insistent about a spouse coming from a perfect family and having absolutely no flaws.


    I can see where you are coming from, and while that may be true for some individuals,
    I come from a very screwed up household,
    Divorced parents, abusive parents,
    But, I know for a fact that I can be a mother, because I have had to act in that role for years. I have not had a good mother figure for my whole life, but I know how to be a mother, I know from my personal experience how much abuse whether verbal or physical hurts a child and that I will NEVER do that to anyone
    Depleted likes this.
    God Bless,
    Natania ♡
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    #froglivesmatter
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    http://christianchat.com/miscellaneo...-election.html

  14. #34
    Senior Member TemporaryCircumstances's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by JosephsDreams View Post
    It makes sense. Stats show that when parents stay together there is less chance of divorce for their children.

    Alright, while stats may show that there are MANY people who that does not run true for many, so, eliminating every child of divorced parents would just eliminate possible good spouses
    Depleted likes this.
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  15. #35
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by presidente View Post
    Why don't you call her up or visit her and tell her she can come back? You could be proactive and show leadership that way, rather than just waiting for her to decide. You can pray about it and if you believe it is wise, you could even tell her about the dream. If you think she'd deny the desire to reconcile if she had it if you told her, you could refrain from telling it.

    14 For God does speak—now one way, now another—
    though no one perceives it.
    15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
    when deep sleep falls on people
    as they slumber in their beds,
    16 he may speak in their ears
    and terrify them with warnings,
    17 to turn them from wrongdoing
    and keep them from pride,
    18 to preserve them from the pit,
    their lives from perishing by the sword.
    (NIV)
    I've called her, talked until I'm blue in the face. I've written letters, love notes, sent flowers, bought gifts, professed love, done everything but made a mix tape. She is not budging. She rather sit at Starbucks with other divorce approving hags. So I started buying her Starbucks gift cards, cause the more of those 1000 calorie, sugar infused, sad excuses for coffee, the fatter she gets. I have been eating nothing but beef and lifting heavy. Its diabolical really. She is not going to be happy when I don't agree to her property settlement. I don't care. I can't afford what she wants.
    I've prayed that God softened her heart. My children know something is wrong and have started praying for us to be together. I take the kids back to mommy and my 4 year old daughter is screaming "I want you daddy!" I have even prayed that God would put a wise old black woman in her life, like in that movie War Room. My wife sent my kids over here for the weekend with a new shirt for my daughter that read "Trust your heart." I threw the shirt out, what a terrible message to send your children.
    Thats the thing, women think their heart has some magical powers. Bull crap. If God can fill your heart with the spirit, satan can fill it with lies. Don't trust your heart, walk with wisdom.

  16. #36
    Senior Member TemporaryCircumstances's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    I've called her, talked until I'm blue in the face. I've written letters, love notes, sent flowers, bought gifts, professed love, done everything but made a mix tape. She is not budging. She rather sit at Starbucks with other divorce approving hags. So I started buying her Starbucks gift cards, cause the more of those 1000 calorie, sugar infused, sad excuses for coffee, the fatter she gets. I have been eating nothing but beef and lifting heavy. Its diabolical really. She is not going to be happy when I don't agree to her property settlement. I don't care. I can't afford what she wants.
    I've prayed that God softened her heart. My children know something is wrong and have started praying for us to be together. I take the kids back to mommy and my 4 year old daughter is screaming "I want you daddy!" I have even prayed that God would put a wise old black woman in her life, like in that movie War Room. My wife sent my kids over here for the weekend with a new shirt for my daughter that read "Trust your heart." I threw the shirt out, what a terrible message to send your children.
    Thats the thing, women think their heart has some magical powers. Bull crap. If God can fill your heart with the spirit, satan can fill it with lies. Don't trust your heart, walk with wisdom.

    Oh Tommy..... that sucks, a lot. I'm not even gonna try to say something to make it better, I'm sorry
    Magenta and Tommy379 like this.
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    Natania ♡
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    #greenlivesmatter
    http://christianchat.com/miscellaneo...-election.html

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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    I like the list of suggestions very good.

  18. #38
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Wow this is very intense when you think your situations is something,there is someone else going through too. Its almost kind of comforting to know that I'm not the only one thats having relationship issues. Atleast we are seeking godly advice right? and not from the world.

  19. #39
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    https://youtu.be/Dp4WC_YZAuw



    I don't wanna think
    I may never understand
    That my broken heart is a part
    Of Your plan
    "Only a person who risks is free"

    "Honor God, eat, play, laugh"

  20. #40
    Junior Member FaithfulservantofGod's Avatar
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    Default Re: Choosing a Spouse Who Won't Leave You

    Amen...Pray works all the time bro...

    Quote Originally Posted by presidente View Post
    FaithfulservantofGod,
    Praying to God certainly does help resolve conflicts in marriage, even the kind where you aren't getting along and aren't quite sure why.

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