Hi Everyone, I am new here but have been looking through previous posts and seen some sound advice so thought I would post here and appreciate anyone's comments and advice.
I was asking God for help on my current situation and stumbled on this site so feel this is the right place to ask advice.
My husband is in prison and has been for 6 years. He was addicted to drugs before being inprisoned and not a very nice man. He was very abusive and not supportive of me or the children. He always put his needs before ours and at the time his only need was drugs. He also cheated with other women and was involved with all sorts of inappropriate activity.
Within a few months of him being in prison I was surprised at the positive changes I saw in him. He completed lots of courses, really looked at himself, left the drugs behind and for the next 4 years I was proud at the way he had turned his life around and the man he had became.
Sadly about 15 months ago he started using drugs again. He is now right back at where he started, selfish, abusive, uncaring, irrational, aggressive and continually accusing and blaming me. I am tired of all of it. He just calls out of the blue and screams all sorts of obscenities and vile names at me over the phone.
Part of me thinks he is a mentally sick man and is it fair to turn my back on him and walk away. In sickness and in health is what I vowed? On the other hand his "sickness" is now affecting our children and I feel mentally drained and worn by him. At this moment I don't know if I even love him or care about him anymore. It is a struggle bringing the children up alone, let alone dealing with his addiction and abuse on top of it.
A part of me wants to run 100 miles in the opposite direction but the loyal side of me wants to stay and again try and see him through it.
I just don't know what to do for the best and I can't seem to get a clear answer on what God would want me to do.
Thank you for reading and any replies will be greatly appreciated x