How do you know when God is speaking to you? Why can't I hear Him? Divorce Papers:(

lollylee · Jan 26, 2017

When people say "God spoke to me" etc... what do they really mean? I did pray today, as my husband and I are currently separated. Husband hasn't been home in a week, so I left the marital home 2 days ago to come stay with my Mother with my 3 children as my husband basically checked out long ago, he abandoned the marriage unexpectedly, and us. He told me he doesn't love me, he HATES this family (me and the kids), amongst many other cruel vindictive words and actions and I am just so lost on whether to move into a new place to get my kids back to normalcy or to wait for my husband to wake up or to take the rest of my money and file for divorce myself or wait for him to divorce me. Ughh.. I pray all the time, and am never sure if I am listening or understanding God's words like others can. Am I not being heard? Strange thing, I prayed today asking God to give me a very clear understanding that I cannot mistake of WHY all of this is happening and WHAT I am to do next and after my prayer, I went about my day. Suddenly, I was served with DIVORCE papers. My heart dropped. I guess it's just like the final Stab. It really hurts.

I have never cheated so he has no biblical grounds to do this but doesn't seem to care, although he suddenly started going to church again, it seems like divorce was the inevitable with him as I believe and feel deeply in my heart that he met another woman. He was caught a few months ago, reaching out to other women on Facebook. He has denied it all.

I am a mess, but my question is.... is this what God is telling me, to go through with this divorce (not that I have a choice as I live in a NO FAULT state, meaning, only 1 person has to want a divorce for it to be granted) I do not believe in divorce and know God HATES divorce, so what does this mean? and even after everything he has put me and the kids through, I still pray every night but am more confused by the day.

Was this God speaking to me somehow that I was served divorce papers? I am so confused.

Ugly · Jan 26, 2017

Stop trying so hard to 'hear God'. Your husband is divorcing you. He's doing so of his own free will. The only message to decipher from that is 'i don't want to be married to you anymore'. There's nothing more than needs to be told to you. There is no message from God in that.

And yes, God hates divorce. But God hates ALL sin. It's the modern 'church' that places emphasis on which sins are ok and which are not. I'm sure that daily you commit sins. God hates those sins too. But yet you perform them without a second thought.
Your husband is done. It's sad, and i'm sorry that things happened this way for you, i really am. But if you remove the emotions and expectations out of the situation, the answer is easy and doesn't require any special answers from God. Let your husband operate in his free will, and let him go.
No one 'believes in divorce' when they marry, yet still half of all marriages end in divorce. Some people give up way too easily on their marriages. If it doesn't work out naturally they just quit. That is silly thinking. But some divorces happen for more legitimate reasons.

I don't know the spiritual 'status' of your husband, only God truly knows where his heart is, but the bible does say to let an unbelieving husband leave if he wants to divorce.

And man people who claim to hear from God are either lying or mislead. It's not that common for many to hear from God in any direct sort of manner. His primary source of answers is the bible.

88 · Jan 26, 2017

lollylee said:

When people say "God spoke to me" etc... what do they really mean? I did pray today, as my husband and I are currently separated. Husband hasn't been home in a week, so I left the marital home 2 days ago to come stay with my Mother with my 3 children as my husband basically checked out long ago, he abandoned the marriage unexpectedly, and us. He told me he doesn't love me, he HATES this family (me and the kids), amongst many other cruel vindictive words and actions and I am just so lost on whether to move into a new place to get my kids back to normalcy or to wait for my husband to wake up or to take the rest of my money and file for divorce myself or wait for him to divorce me. Ughh.. I pray all the time, and am never sure if I am listening or understanding God's words like others can. Am I not being heard? Strange thing, I prayed today asking God to give me a very clear understanding that I cannot mistake of WHY all of this is happening and WHAT I am to do next and after my prayer, I went about my day. Suddenly, I was served with DIVORCE papers. My heart dropped. I guess it's just like the final Stab. It really hurts.

I have never cheated so he has no biblical grounds to do this but doesn't seem to care, although he suddenly started going to church again, it seems like divorce was the inevitable with him as I believe and feel deeply in my heart that he met another woman. He was caught a few months ago, reaching out to other women on Facebook. He has denied it all.

I am a mess, but my question is.... is this what God is telling me, to go through with this divorce (not that I have a choice as I live in a NO FAULT state, meaning, only 1 person has to want a divorce for it to be granted) I do not believe in divorce and know God HATES divorce, so what does this mean? and even after everything he has put me and the kids through, I still pray every night but am more confused by the day.

Was this God speaking to me somehow that I was served divorce papers? I am so confused.

****don't be hasty----pray about it for 30 days----he could come to himself---get professional Godly counsel (Pastor or Christian Counselor)...

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

A covenant between God is made with vows that we take at the alter. If either person is not holding up their vows how does that keep God's covenant?What God Teaches Us About Broken Marriage Vows | CT Women | ChristianityToday.com

If one person is not holding up their vows then your covenant is already broken. No since in staying with a man that show no love toward you and your kids. He has already broke the covenant with no since if trying to revive it. Find a man who loves you and puts God first only demonstrating his love for God as he loves you the same.

lollylee · Jan 27, 2017

Ugly said:

I respect your sstraight forward response and there's lots to agree with here. I can't change his mind, but I always will believe with prayer, God could change his heart. The reason I pray is because I didn't want to be one of those who give up so easily. I agree 100% on how people give up way too easily these days, and I hear this a lot, which is why I continued to pray and hope, I was willing to forgive and try and try and try to keep my promise to God of my vows that I honored to the very end. But you are right, if only one person is trying, it's hard to keep being shot down by the one you (never stopped) loving. It's hard when one person gives up, because it is their free will, which is the problem with divorce. It is hard to let go of something that God disagrees with.

PrynceNY · Jan 27, 2017

If your husband acknowledges Gods thoughts on divorce & still wants to follow through with it he will be held accountable. Especially if your suspicions of him cheating are true. Sorry to hear you & your family are going through that. You & your children deserve a husband who will love & be there for you. For him to say he hates your family tells me his life is not being lead by the holy spirit. Spirits that are not of God hates his blessings.

lollylee · Jan 27, 2017

Roughsoul1991 said:

Wow! This is what I really needed to hear. You are right, the covenant IS broken. I have beat myself up for 4 months trying to understand what I need to do to fix this, but I never really thought that I CANT fix it, and I never thought about how He ALREADY BROKE it, and now. I really now need to find a way to accept, and forgive, and move on

It won't be easy. I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to this post. I hope you all know that in our weakest moments, your words mean so much to give us strength in these forums. Thanks you.

lollylee · Jan 27, 2017

PrynceNY said:

Thank you, this makes so much sense.
I hate that the LIAR can take our loved ones and change them for the worst. I have seen a man I cannot even recognize, the last 4 months. It's just sad, and although I pray, I don't know how to save him or if it is even my job anymore. ugh....

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

lollylee said:

No thank you for being a warrior in Christ to do all you could to uphold your marriage. It encourages me to never forget my vowes so that my wife doesn't never have to go through so much loss of love.

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

lollylee said:

Only Jesus can save all we can do is preach truth, live out truth, and be the light for all who wonder in the dark. Other than that it's the individuals free will to except Jesus or forgiveness.

lollylee · Jan 27, 2017

Roughsoul1991 said:

I can say honestly, God forgive me, I have not been much of a light lately to anyone as I have held in such bitterness and anger. I guess I should work on me, as this is my sin. Your wife is a very lucky woman, please tell her I said that

You have been a wonderful light for me and your words give me hope that I so desperately need right now in my weakest hour.

Dan58 · Jan 27, 2017

lollylee said:

Sounds like a pretty definitive answer to me..

You wrote; "My husband basically checked out long ago, he abandoned the marriage unexpectedly, and us. He told me he doesn't love me, he HATES this family (me and the kids), amongst many other cruel vindictive words and actions". I doubt you were confused, just unwilling to accept the obvious. Nothing to feel guilty about, not your fault. "When a man taketh a wife, and marrieth her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife." (Deuteronomy 24:1-2)

lv2ski · Jan 27, 2017

Roughsoul1991 said:

Be careful there. You're reading into things with,

"If one person is not holding up their vows then your covenant is already broken. No since in staying with a man that show no love toward you and your kids. He has already broke the covenant with no since if trying to revive it. Find a man who loves you and puts God first only demonstrating his love for God as he loves you the same."

You're talking about destroying a home. While he is dead wrong for leaving and saying what he said, (I'm sure he has said plenty more that she did't tell us) After a week, that's not enough time to make a final decision. That is not grounds for divorce. She has the upper hand, so patiently ride it out and let the LORD handle it. Stand a see the salvation of the LORD.

Neither has grounds for divorce, unless he is really having an affair. But hastiness will only compound her trouble.

Sorry, but you have to wait at this point and DON'T do anything rash or hasty. She needs to keep her composer at this point. Stupid people are well....stupid. Just let him hang himself.

GandalfTheWhite · Jan 27, 2017

If God speaks to you it will always be in line with His word.

lv2ski · Jan 27, 2017

The Bible says, when you've done all to stand, stand therefore,.... gird yourself right now. Meaning, build yourself up in the LORD, hearing from Him isn't hard if you will be silent and alone. Don't go running around seeking the comfort of man. Be alone and silent.

Why did you leave if he's already gone? You have the upper hand. There is no reason to leave if he's gone. I think your seeking emotional support, and it's going to cost you. People say they don't care about the house, car or the material, etc... problem is, your creditors do and they will come after you and you will be sorry. You want to appear to the judge and child custody evaluator as stable and sound and responsible. If he abandoned his family, you will be justified in the end, but don't bale.

God has you. Wait for Him..... I've been there on this one, I'm sharing from my own heart, not my head.

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

lv2ski said:

Be careful there. You're reading into things with,

"If one person is not holding up their vows then your covenant is already broken. No since in staying with a man that show no love toward you and your kids. He has already broke the covenant with no since if trying to revive it. Find a man who loves you and puts God first only demonstrating his love for God as he loves you the same."

You're talking about destroying a home. While he is dead wrong for leaving and saying what he said, (I'm sure he has said plenty more that she did't tell us) After a week, that's not enough time to make a final decision. That is not grounds for divorce. She has the upper hand, so patiently ride it out and let the LORD handle it. Stand a see the salvation of the LORD.

Neither has grounds for divorce, unless he is really having an affair. But hastiness will only compound her trouble.

Sorry, but you have to wait at this point and DON'T do anything rash or hasty. She needs to keep her composer at this point. Stupid people are well....stupid. Just let him hang himself.

The home has already been destroyed this kind of action on his part does not happen overnight. Yah he been gone a week but I guarantee you this kind of feelings to hate ones family does not rise up all of a sudden.

lv2ski · Jan 27, 2017

Roughsoul1991 said:

You may well be right, but that's not biblical counsel at this point. You don't know that,even though it appears as such. You're counseling her to base her actions on his. The word doesn't say that. She must keep herself right with God. If you're going to officially end a family, then you let God make that call.

We areall about getting on with our life and finding something better, but in our efforts to end or comfort our pain, we often jump from the pan into the fire.

That's not solid counsel.

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

http://http://www.reformed-theology.org/html/issue07/divorce.htm

I say what I have studied I take very serious in what I say. God would not want someone to live in a relationship filled with hate. Vows uphold the covenant but I do know so many people condemn people for facing devorce but the devorce has already happened between the covenant they vowed between God. But hey sometimes it takes a fire to make the guy realize what truly matters and if not oh well, he doesn't want to uphold his vows breaking the covenant.

Roughsoul1991 · Jan 27, 2017

That's the great thing though about people we all have different opinions so people can do their own homework to see which sounds more biblical

lv2ski · Jan 27, 2017

Roughsoul1991 said:

You're studying man's theology, not God's Word. Which was the problem when Jesus was walking the earth. Divorce was only okd by Jesus in the gospels upon adultery

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31*-‬32 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/mat.5.31-32.NKJV

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says, if the unbeliever wants to leave, let him leave. That doesn't mean that you reciprocate. You just let them leave. Don't share in their d sins. You stay right w with God, regardless of what anyone else does or does not do.

How do you know when God is speaking to you? Why can't I hear Him? Divorce Papers:(

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