Girlfriend is an athiest.

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pinkie

Guest
#21
#21
hi notthatmatt,
i recently was seperated from my husband for a time and got back in touch with a friend from school who i hadnt seen in about 20 years. and even though he didnt believe in God we still had an attraction between us that was still there even from way back then. anyways. to cut it short.. God told me to stop emailing with him. so i did. i explained that even if i was to get divorced that i am to either stay single or marry another Christain and that i had really enjoyed talking with him again etc but that he wasnt Christian and so it was best to stop before things went any further in our emails.
i guess its always best to avoid a relationship with someone who could influence us to falter in our own belief of God.
im sorry that you are in a difficult position and i think you did good to try and lead her to Christ during your time with her. i do think though that your kindness, rather than romance could change her heart if it is something that God has already decided for her. i think it would be a good idea to be friends from a distance. no love thing or romance but just genuine Christ like friendship and then look out for someone who loves God as much as you do. xx Blessings to you both.
 
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forgivenandloved

Guest
#22
#22
notthatmatt said:
...but shouldn't I try to lead them to God? :)
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Yes, I didn't say don't be friends of even good friends just not in your inner circle of friends. Don't get me wrong I have plenty of non Christian friends. :)
 
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forgivenandloved

Guest
#23
#23
KisDawn said:
I don't think Atheist are like that at all. If you are hurt by God wouldn't it then make you want to worship the opposite? (the Devil) Because you can't be hurt by something if you don't think it's there. As far as the death bed goes if they really are Atheist then no they wouldn't do that just like would you convert to being Jewish or Muslim on your death bed? I just think having thoughts like that only furthers the misunderstanding between people who believe differently, and it's best to meet everyone from a place of love. To me that is what Jesus would want.
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On the death bed conversions, a lot of people knew following Christ was the right way but they didn't want to deny themselves, but when death hits so does reality. :) That's my belief anyway.
 
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notthatmatt

Guest
#24
#24
KisDawn said:
I don't think Atheist are like that at all. If you are hurt by God wouldn't it then make you want to worship the opposite? (the Devil) Because you can't be hurt by something if you don't think it's there. As far as the death bed goes if they really are Atheist then no they wouldn't do that just like would you convert to being Jewish or Muslim on your death bed? I just think having thoughts like that only furthers the misunderstanding between people who believe differently, and it's best to meet everyone from a place of love. To me that is what Jesus would want.
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I didn't mean that God literally hurt them in some way, God loves us all. I've had conversations with friends of mine who were borderline or professed to be full blown atheists and many felt because X happened, because Y happened, God somehow hated them and they rejected God because it yet. So what I get from that is they must still believe to be able to blame God for their problems and I understand that because when I was younger I went through similar experiences but deep down always believed. This is so far off topic, but yeah.. I also try to love everyone, just as Jesus would want.
 
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Consumed

Guest
#25
#25
run in the opposite direction
 
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KisDawn

Guest
#26
#26
forgivenandloved said:
On the death bed conversions, a lot of people knew following Christ was the right way but they didn't want to deny themselves, but when death hits so does reality. :) That's my belief anyway.
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I wouldn't believe that until I was given evidence for it. But that is my belief. :) I just could here that same argument being used with any religion.

notthatmatt said:
I didn't mean that God literally hurt them in some way, God loves us all. I've had conversations with friends of mine who were borderline or professed to be full blown atheists and many felt because X happened, because Y happened, God somehow hated them and they rejected God because it yet. So what I get from that is they must still believe to be able to blame God for their problems and I understand that because when I was younger I went through similar experiences but deep down always believed. This is so far off topic, but yeah.. I also try to love everyone, just as Jesus would want.
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It seems for your friends they were more Christian then Atheist at least the Atheist I know aren't like that at all. They are really good people and I'm happy to have them as my friends. :) After all the more friends you have the better. :)
 
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KisDawn

Guest
#28
#28
lightbliss said:
It's really about quality not quantity.
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I agree there are some friends that you have that are more your foe then your friend but usually you can tell those types of people. They are the types that always use you for things or put you down so they feel better. It has never be for me based on religion. I have friends that believe, believe differently and friends that don't believe at all and all are dear to me. I think it's better to base who you are friends with on those standards especially if you are Christian with all negative stereotypes that we hate people who view things differently then we do. We should be the change for love and understanding. ^___^
 
QuestionTime

QuestionTime

Senior Member
#29
Feb 16, 2010
1,435
20
38
#29
KisDawn said:
I agree there are some friends that you have that are more your foe then your friend but usually you can tell those types of people. They are the types that always use you for things or put you down so they feel better. It has never be for me based on religion. I have friends that believe, believe differently and friends that don't believe at all and all are dear to me. I think it's better to base who you are friends with on those standards especially if you are Christian with all negative stereotypes that we hate people who view things differently then we do. We should be the change for love and understanding. ^___^
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Greetings KisDawn,

I hope we haven't come across as sounding as though we hate anyone for having different viewpoints. We can be friends with someone with a different faith/belief, but we ought not involve ourselves in business or marital relations with people who think much differently than we do.

Besides, Christians who take a stand for God are automatically hated by the world, because a righteous Christian will reprove the world for sin with their holy behavior, and because God commands us to preach Christ crucified.

Quest
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#30
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
18
#30
Kay_Kay said:
This is difficult because she's a human being, and obviously you care about her. Being an Atheist in the Christian community is almost like being branded a leper. You know that Atheism is the rejection of God and that's incredibly hard to accept in a relationship. But I warn you- she will probably view you as shallow and cold if you leave her now based on her beliefs.

Atheists are being constantly rejected by the religious community, and that's why they're so salty about Christians. I've heard them preach how Christians are the worst people they know because they're so unloving and elitist.

My advice to you is to talk to her - and I mean really communicate- that if you break up with her it's not because you're cold or don't care about her.
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Just felt compelled to say that the reason they are so salty is because the darkness hates the light. That being said, we are to love our enemies.

To Matt, do not try to convert her by being in a romantic relationship with her. That is not biblical. This is a blessing for you to find out now rather than after it is too late like after marriage.
 
Godismightyforever

Godismightyforever

Banned
#31
Mar 23, 2010
37
0
0
30
#31
im a catholic and like my boyfriend Tonys an athiest and im just fine with that and i go to his church and he gose to my cathoilc church and im ok with it
 
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KisDawn

Guest
#32
#32
QuestionTime said:

Greetings KisDawn,

I hope we haven't come across as sounding as though we hate anyone for having different viewpoints. We can be friends with someone with a different faith/belief, but we ought not involve ourselves in business or marital relations with people who think much differently than we do.

Besides, Christians who take a stand for God are automatically hated by the world, because a righteous Christian will reprove the world for sin with their holy behavior, and because God commands us to preach Christ crucified.

Quest
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People in my family have different beliefs and isn't having a martial relations just like accepting someone as your family minus the lust bits? Also the business bit doesn't make sense. If for example I am going to a doctor for a surgery, I want the best surgeon I really don't care what they believe so long as they are the best. That case is even more so when it comes to my family. That I don't understand, because it isn't like my family's doctor or my doctor is going to try to deconvert us they are going to make us better then be on their way helping other people. Sorry if it seems I'm being negative it's just that doesn't make sense to me.
 
QuestionTime

QuestionTime

Senior Member
#33
Feb 16, 2010
1,435
20
38
#33
KisDawn said:
People in my family have different beliefs and isn't having a martial relations just like accepting someone as your family minus the lust bits? Also the business bit doesn't make sense. If for example I am going to a doctor for a surgery, I want the best surgeon I really don't care what they believe so long as they are the best. That case is even more so when it comes to my family. That I don't understand, because it isn't like my family's doctor or my doctor is going to try to deconvert us they are going to make us better then be on their way helping other people. Sorry if it seems I'm being negative it's just that doesn't make sense to me.
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Phil 2:
 5Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
7But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
8And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

How many people in the world want to give away all their possessions and serve others to the point of physical torture and death? I certainly know that no girlfriend I've had in the past has had this mindset. Typically people are searching for the "happily ever after" theme in marriage, and people in business are searching for fame and riches. The mindset of Christ should naturally be contrary to the mindset of the world.

Quest
 
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GaryS1960

Guest
#34
#34
Hello Matt, It would be best for you to leave her because in 2 Corinthians 6:14 the Apostle Paul said "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" I fully understand what that the Apostle Paul is saying, because I got saved four months after I got married and my ex wife was a nonbeliever and it was a hindrance to my faith. It is hard to bring up children when you have one parent believing one thing and the other parent believing another. So there's nothing wrong at all with you leaving your girlfriend. I hope this helps to point you in the right direction! God bless you!
 
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Shyness

Banned
#35
Aug 17, 2007
496
4
18
#35
To tell you the truth, I do believe it is very important to respect her beliefs and for her to respect your beliefs also. This is just my opinion but I don't have a problem being friends with someone who does not believe in God as long as they accept me as I am and not try to convert me and I would respect their beliefs as well and accept them as they are. God does indeed command us to love your neighbor as yourself (but not with the romantic type love, but with the love of Jesus Christ). This also means to do unto others as you want them to do unto you. About the relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend), I would say pray to God about it and listen to what God wants you to do. It is always the right way to let God handle it.
 
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Sheye_Anne

Banned
#36
May 14, 2010
116
2
0
#36
Yea she should have told you that she was an Atheist, a lot of people who are feel like they are going to be judged unfairly if they come out and tell other people about it. Still she did lie to you and that isn't a good way to start off a romantic relationship. XD
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yep those who lie aboput their religion to "trap" someone into a web..is rather disgusting..I see muslims pretend they know christ..i see christians ..(catholics)..and (others)..that totally disregard the words of the bible...we are talking serious sin here..not just the lil stuff..

and YES there are varying degrees to sin..though it all displeases the Lord..there are variations..and intensities of evil..that would blow the "average" citizen away...

to lie to someone and tell them you believe in Jesus..when it is truly only for manipulative reasons...is..well...

a BIG RED FLAG ...in the trust department..and we all know we need to TRUST to develope a good relationship...

matt..feel sorry for this woman..who seems lost..and followed you like a puppy dog for attention..but realy wasn't into what you're heart is all about...

I have had males who have decieved me as well..many times..over...

I will not give up hope on the good men that are out there...and the good men who are in sin..and are willing to change ..for their own healing ..and rebirth out of sin..

honesty is the only way to truly have a respectful relationship...

honesty does not always mean you are seeing things correctdly...but that you have the faith to say it, as you do see it..


and hopefully the wisdom..to let the truth be unfolded to you..as GOD wants you to see it..
 
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trev82

Guest
#37
#37
bro if i where you i would leave for your sake having some one that is on the dark side and that she is not willing to change her life for you for some thing so great your best bet is to leave brother there are alot of nice ladys at the Church in a year from now you wont even think of her like u are now be leave me
 
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Desi36

Guest
#38
#38
Well I have to say I met my husband and I did not go to church myself, I started going and it was for hima t first but I have now been a Christian for 3 years. Meeting my husband was the best thing that ever happen to me and I do not miss my old life. I feel sorry for this girl because she is missing out on a great thing. One thing I consided and my husband and I discussed if I had not joinned his Church or got Baptised how would we raise our Chirldren when we have some or how would one person keep up their faith if the other did not go?? It is too bad but I don`t think a relastionship can work if both parties do not attend Church. Just another thing to argue about!!
Get out and look for someone with the same beliefs!!
 
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jailhouselounge

Guest
#39
#39
Brother, I just got out of this dilemma (well sorta..) ... We were going to get married too.. she showed interest in the faith but over time, she just completely closed to the idea of God and chose to be an atheist.. (science background adds to this..) Anyway, what I noticed is that we both have compeletely different world views and this really drew the line for me. She's a moral relativist.. she holds morality like ice cream.. everyone is entitled to have their own rights and wrongs. To make things worse, I ignored these signs and got deeper into this relationship and it has been so hard for me to get myself back out of it. I suggest you don't fall into the same trap as me. Get out now while you can. The sooner you do it the better... It's painful but not as painful when you finally decide you want to be together for life, only to find out that you're not right for each other.

ps. missionary dating doesn't work.. I did my best.. and well.. I bet this will only lead to divorce had we gotten married.
heed our advice bro! ABANDON SHIP!!!
 
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Redeemed79

Guest
#40
#40
....and the greatest of these is love.....
I think you know the right answer to your question but the bible does say where two or three witnesses agree let everything be established. You are not judging her you are putting God first and foremost which is the right thing to do. It is prayer that is most effective in these situations, not logic, or trying to deal with it naturally. All unbelief is spiritual. God says so. Deal with it in Spirit. :) You can break it off and still be her prayer warrior in the heavenlies!! that would be in love....
 
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