Serve how? He gave us a passion for architecture to do what? If it wasn't to create the most magnificent structures then what? God doesn't need structures. Is it wrong to be proud of our accomplishments? For the record I don't believe in evolution either. Did somebody tell you to respond on this thread or was it your free will that doesn't exist?
Importance of Oneness
- Thread starter Hungry
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
D
In order of your questions:
How to serve (also the purpose of architecture, art, bookkeeping, janitorial work, personal trainer, financial consultant, housewife, gardener, storytelling, computer technician, and every other occupation in the word):
Mark 12:
[FONT="]30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”[/FONT]
Is it wrong to be proud of your accomplishments? Yes, actually. (See above for details.)
For the record, you do believe in evolution. You call man an animal. You think we're all in this to for "superior stock." Talk about alpha males, and testosterone as the primary cause for your actions. That IS evolutionary talk. Oddly enough, it's also old-school evolution because they don't even believe that junk anymore.
Did my will make me comment on this post? Sure, just like Jonah's will got him to Nineveh. I'm not saying we don't have will. I'm saying it ain't free.
And, after answering your questions, one more thing I have to add. I won't quit until I can beat someone (in games.) Or until they quit on me trying to beat them. I have written a novel that I hope will outlast my life. I DID start a business because I think most bosses are morons, and I could do it better myself. AND, most importantly, I'm a woman! So really? Really really tired of you blaming all this on testosterone. We women seriously aren't hunting the barnyard for the main rooster to prolong our species. This is 2017, not 1917. (And, honestly? My great grandmother had a business in 1917, so the concept that only men want to start businesses is completely foreign to me.)
How to serve (also the purpose of architecture, art, bookkeeping, janitorial work, personal trainer, financial consultant, housewife, gardener, storytelling, computer technician, and every other occupation in the word):
Mark 12:
[FONT="]30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”[/FONT]
Is it wrong to be proud of your accomplishments? Yes, actually. (See above for details.)
For the record, you do believe in evolution. You call man an animal. You think we're all in this to for "superior stock." Talk about alpha males, and testosterone as the primary cause for your actions. That IS evolutionary talk. Oddly enough, it's also old-school evolution because they don't even believe that junk anymore.
Did my will make me comment on this post? Sure, just like Jonah's will got him to Nineveh. I'm not saying we don't have will. I'm saying it ain't free.
And, after answering your questions, one more thing I have to add. I won't quit until I can beat someone (in games.) Or until they quit on me trying to beat them. I have written a novel that I hope will outlast my life. I DID start a business because I think most bosses are morons, and I could do it better myself. AND, most importantly, I'm a woman! So really? Really really tired of you blaming all this on testosterone. We women seriously aren't hunting the barnyard for the main rooster to prolong our species. This is 2017, not 1917. (And, honestly? My great grandmother had a business in 1917, so the concept that only men want to start businesses is completely foreign to me.)
Hello Hungry...
I am intrigued by the bolded part above... without wanting to sound like I'm attacking your wife, I would ask why she works. Why isn't being at home serving you and the kids good enough for her? I'm not suggesting for a moment that "women should be at home"... far from it. However, I think her opinion on what "should" fulfill you is convenient and self-serving for her. Simply put, she can't define your inner motivations, even if she tries to do so nicely.
You have an inner desire to accomplish, to succeed, to "conquer". No amount of being a househusband is ever going to satisfy that, and you will likely chafe under that kind of life. I'd suggest you find a book by John Eldredge called "Wild at Heart" and read through it. I also suggest that you bring this inclination before the Lord and seek His direction and timing on what to do with it. He may have ideas you haven't considered, which will bring you tremendous fulfillment.
Having read through most of this thread, I think you've gotten some good advice, and you've made a good decision... for now. Keep praying about this issue, because if the decision you've made is only for a short term, the desire to get out and do something will return, as certainly as hunger will return a few hours after a meal.
I am intrigued by the bolded part above... without wanting to sound like I'm attacking your wife, I would ask why she works. Why isn't being at home serving you and the kids good enough for her? I'm not suggesting for a moment that "women should be at home"... far from it. However, I think her opinion on what "should" fulfill you is convenient and self-serving for her. Simply put, she can't define your inner motivations, even if she tries to do so nicely.
You have an inner desire to accomplish, to succeed, to "conquer". No amount of being a househusband is ever going to satisfy that, and you will likely chafe under that kind of life. I'd suggest you find a book by John Eldredge called "Wild at Heart" and read through it. I also suggest that you bring this inclination before the Lord and seek His direction and timing on what to do with it. He may have ideas you haven't considered, which will bring you tremendous fulfillment.
Having read through most of this thread, I think you've gotten some good advice, and you've made a good decision... for now. Keep praying about this issue, because if the decision you've made is only for a short term, the desire to get out and do something will return, as certainly as hunger will return a few hours after a meal.
K
Quote " Women are drawn to men who are confident and successful. Who they settle for is based on other factors. We are all animals, that's what the flesh is. We all have exactly the same programming that the animals have for procreation. Just because humans don't butt heads like rams and have colourful plumage like birds doesn't mean we don't have ways to display good genetic stock to make ourselves more attractive to females. Just like in nature males put on their alpha displays but females allow access for mating. This is what keeps our species strong. Those who are strong, smart, tall and leaders usually have a better selection of females to choose from. It's by design."
This is a very secular opinion,it doesn't line up with the Bible in the least. We are not animals,we are not like animals in any way.
Quote "
The testosterone in men causes them to act a certain way, primarily more competitive. What else would be the reason for all of the bling, mansions, fast cars and six packs (abs). It's all to signal good genetic stock for mating. It's been discovered that during certain times of the month women find these men more attractive, and are more likely to have a one night stand with these sorts of men. For the other 75% of the time, women are more attracted to more sensitive, less testosterone driven males. "
I cant speak for other women or what would make a woman cheat. By Im attracted to my husband all the time not matter the time of the month.Why? Because he is sweet,thoughtful,sensitive,caring and I saw all the other roosters struttin and frontin and I wanted someone real and genuine and THAT is what attracted and keeps me attracted to my husband.
Quote "The desire of the flesh is to be pretentious, signaling, good genetic stock."
But the Bible says to put the flesh to death to take up our cross,daily.
Quote " As much as I try to be the best family man I can be, there is always the factor that
I can't control. Everybody has a free will and if they choose to not behave, love me back or follow Christ, does that mean I suck? If I am a crappy dad and everybody turns out great in spite of me, am I a success?"
Wow way out in left field there. If you raise your children in the Godly way you are successful.What they choose to do what they are out from your authority is between them and God. If you yourself are a Godly husband and your wife doesn't love you back,that is also her decision. As a husband you were successful, you did what was right.
Quote " The desire to create something out of your imagination and seeing it grow and turn out as you imagined or better; is that something God inspires men to do, or is that men seeking to be God?"
Colossians 3-1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.....And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus
I thank you for taking the time to respond. I really don't have many hobbies like golf or cars or watching sports. The only thing that I find interesting (other than trying to be the best dad and husband I can be) is investigating the mysteries of God. Who He is, who we are, why He made us. Searching and analyzing information and putting it all together like a big jigsaw puzzle. I've studied psychology, chemistry, biology, neurology, endocrinology, theology and just about everything that I thought would help me answer the nagging questions about who we are, why we are here and where we are going. It has been my constant prayer, asking for more wisdom expecting the fulfillment as in the book of James. Beyond the shadow of a doubt I can say with the utmost confidence that these vessels we inhabit function exactly like the animals. What separates us is our soul.
The point I was trying to make that seemed left fielded was that when you invest your time and finances and imagination into something like art, or a craft or a business the outcome is souly based on your ability. The end product will be your accomplishment. With children and a wife, no matter how able you are, success will be determined by their reaction to your effort. Even if you were the best spouse and parent in the end you may be cheated on or die alone.
The point I was trying to make that seemed left fielded was that when you invest your time and finances and imagination into something like art, or a craft or a business the outcome is souly based on your ability. The end product will be your accomplishment. With children and a wife, no matter how able you are, success will be determined by their reaction to your effort. Even if you were the best spouse and parent in the end you may be cheated on or die alone.
Basically (not definitely) I think a wife should help financially by 10% and with the house 90%, and that the husband should help financially by 90%, and with the house by 10%. Other than that, it comes down to hours- how much time is he spending at home in order to not deprive his wife of a relationship, and in order to raise and influence his children.
He should show his wife love by do a little housework- but that should not take up most of his time at home. Without quality family time, what is all the work and housework for? If everyone cleans up after themselves there shouldn't be that much to do, and if there is and things are going well financially, hire someone. Teenagers looking to afford a car or college don't just babysit, they mow lawns and wash windows, etc.
Quality family time is so important. If you can manage that and work more hours, I think you should if that's what's on your heart to do. I support the male ego- that's the drive God gave man to protect and provide for his family. Doing dishes once in a while is loving and humbling, and I know Christ would do that, but it is not the main role God gave a man. A man's body is built for hard labor, a woman's is not. To trade roles is like using a fork for soup and a spoon for steak- it's possible I suppose, but not the way it's meant to be.
He should show his wife love by do a little housework- but that should not take up most of his time at home. Without quality family time, what is all the work and housework for? If everyone cleans up after themselves there shouldn't be that much to do, and if there is and things are going well financially, hire someone. Teenagers looking to afford a car or college don't just babysit, they mow lawns and wash windows, etc.
Quality family time is so important. If you can manage that and work more hours, I think you should if that's what's on your heart to do. I support the male ego- that's the drive God gave man to protect and provide for his family. Doing dishes once in a while is loving and humbling, and I know Christ would do that, but it is not the main role God gave a man. A man's body is built for hard labor, a woman's is not. To trade roles is like using a fork for soup and a spoon for steak- it's possible I suppose, but not the way it's meant to be.
K
Yes, you may be cheated on and die alone,but in Gods eyes you are a success. But if you are talking about a calling,thats a different thing.That changes the conversation.I was a preteen when I felt calling into the ministry. I was about 16 when I actually started in ministry.There is no doubt in my mind I was called.By the worlds standards,even most Christians I wasn't a "success". I never became famous,I never got a big recording deal {though it was offered} I didn't get my own tv show on TBN. Do I care? Not in the least. My success was being faithful to the calling on my life until God gave me some time to be married and spend time at home for the first time in 20yrs. Do you feel called? That I definitely understand.
Yeah, I guess you can describe it as more of a calling. It just feels like something you were put on this planet to do. That's kind of the original intention of this post. I was trying to get the feedback of others for some clarity. Is it egotistical to pursue something that is unnecessary to feel like you are making a bigger contribution. The second part was to determine if it is more important to be on the same page, have "oneness", with your spouse than to pursue something that God put on your heart. What takes precedent?
K
Usually,if its of God,He will speak to your wife about it. And if you honestly feel its a calling,pray that God will open her eyes to it. So you want to be in fitness,thats a huge witness field. A place you can share your faith. Perhaps you could present it to her in that way. But if its God,and not just our our ego or thoughts,I believe God will speak to your wife and she will change her mind. Ive put a fleece out to God before,if my husband doesn't see what I think God is showing me I dont do it. Thats how I know if its God or just me.
A
I would keep your job and if you really want to serve God and not your ego or paycheck with your gifts, then use your free time to volunteer at the YMCA OR volunteer and couch a team or work with troubled teens who need a boost of self esteem and someone to care for them (help them get in shape and draw closer to God)
I don't see how starting a business, charging people money is using your spiritual gifts and talents for God's glory and not just lining your pockets.
Jesus worked as a carpenter. He preached for free. People donated food and shelter, but He tells to give freely what we were given for free.
I would listen to your wife and it's just pride to think your talents are wasted doing chores at home. Its an act of love to serve others. You show your love to Your wife by listening and helping her with task at home. With four kids, it's important to work at as a team, you only have your kids for 18 years. Spend your down time with them now, or you will regret it when they are grown and have moved away.
A bigger house might be "nice" but personally I would value more time with my husband and live in a shack then have a mansion and never see him, because he is working all the time.
I don't see how starting a business, charging people money is using your spiritual gifts and talents for God's glory and not just lining your pockets.
Jesus worked as a carpenter. He preached for free. People donated food and shelter, but He tells to give freely what we were given for free.
I would listen to your wife and it's just pride to think your talents are wasted doing chores at home. Its an act of love to serve others. You show your love to Your wife by listening and helping her with task at home. With four kids, it's important to work at as a team, you only have your kids for 18 years. Spend your down time with them now, or you will regret it when they are grown and have moved away.
A bigger house might be "nice" but personally I would value more time with my husband and live in a shack then have a mansion and never see him, because he is working all the time.
I do coach and train people. Here is the problem about doing it for fun. People value more what they pay for. It's frustrating when my commitment to others health exceeds their own. Not to mention when you do something professionally people take you more seriously. To make a long story short, my wife knows she needs to lose a lot of weight for health concerns. Even though I know exactly the steps she needs to take to achieve her goals, she would rather follow the latest fad. This time it's getting in her steps with a Fitbit. She doesn't want to hear that I know it actually does the opposite. Why? Because...I'm a plumber. People go to plumbers for plumbing and health professionals for health advice. Guess who is most impressed with the knowledge I have attained. Health professionals!
Now your thread has taken on a new tone. You are a fitness trainer\plumber with an overweight wife. As an overweight wife (fortunately with an overweight hubby I guess) I would be devastated if I saw this text from him on a public or even an unpublic forum..if such a thing exists.
You seem to be looking for support to do this thing that you want to do. What's with all the posting? Just do it and let the chips fall where they will. I apologize for my tone but this seems never ending with no resolution.
You seem to be looking for support to do this thing that you want to do. What's with all the posting? Just do it and let the chips fall where they will. I apologize for my tone but this seems never ending with no resolution.
I suppose it keeps going on because it's a forum and people have an opinion and they want to get it out there....just like you just did. If you really wanted it to die you should have just not responded. I'm sure if there is anybody who is on here who knows my wife and I, which I don't think there are, then they would already know that my wife is overweight. Why does it matter, much less cause devastation?
A
I would suggest lead by example of you want to be healthier find ways to encourage healthy diet and activities.
Some people stress eat, some have health issues, some don't excercise enough. Many different factors.
What you haven't said is: so you have any professional training or taken courses on diet, nutrition, etc? Have you thought of the profession of physical therapy?
Which is more important physical health or spiritual health?
I have told my husband I feel chubby and he says "you know how to fix that right?" I do, eat less sweets and get more exercise.
We have cut red meat from our diet, eat lots of veggies and mostly good diet, but I have a sweet tooth.
According to the body index I am normal weight and I don't really want to lose weight as much as build strength and flexibility.
We do a lot of family camping, hiking, swimming, kayaking, biking, etc.
So we are in decent shape. I only slightly concerned because I have a 5 day 30 mile backpacking trip this summer and want to train for it.
I am babbling now.
I just found I personally responded better when my husband didn't treat me like a fool and encouraged our family to do fun healthy activities. If he told me I was far and needed to workout and he would be my coach....nope didn't work so well.
We don't do runs together.he is to peppy and cheerful and encouraging. (not good when I am wheezy along...had asthma and pneumonia as a child so didn't run much....as in at all) I found it annoying and it just made me mad at him.
Anyway that is just my thoughts.
If you feel called to be a fitness trainer. then God will show you how, but your first project should be yourself. Not your wife.
As for people listening to fitness advice, my friends and family listen to my husband and i, because they know We live the advice we give to be healthy.
His parents have made an effort to eat more veggies. When I first visited it was meat and potatoes.
I got funny looks when I ask for a salad or some veggies.
Also my suggestion was not to do it for fun,but to donate some of your time to coach people who needed it but couldnf afford it. Totally different.
Charge the people who can pay, but make a point to donate your time and talent for God's glory and not to line your picketboo or buy a bigger house.
Some people stress eat, some have health issues, some don't excercise enough. Many different factors.
What you haven't said is: so you have any professional training or taken courses on diet, nutrition, etc? Have you thought of the profession of physical therapy?
Which is more important physical health or spiritual health?
I have told my husband I feel chubby and he says "you know how to fix that right?" I do, eat less sweets and get more exercise.
We have cut red meat from our diet, eat lots of veggies and mostly good diet, but I have a sweet tooth.
According to the body index I am normal weight and I don't really want to lose weight as much as build strength and flexibility.
We do a lot of family camping, hiking, swimming, kayaking, biking, etc.
So we are in decent shape. I only slightly concerned because I have a 5 day 30 mile backpacking trip this summer and want to train for it.
I am babbling now.
I just found I personally responded better when my husband didn't treat me like a fool and encouraged our family to do fun healthy activities. If he told me I was far and needed to workout and he would be my coach....nope didn't work so well.
We don't do runs together.he is to peppy and cheerful and encouraging. (not good when I am wheezy along...had asthma and pneumonia as a child so didn't run much....as in at all) I found it annoying and it just made me mad at him.
Anyway that is just my thoughts.
If you feel called to be a fitness trainer. then God will show you how, but your first project should be yourself. Not your wife.
As for people listening to fitness advice, my friends and family listen to my husband and i, because they know We live the advice we give to be healthy.
His parents have made an effort to eat more veggies. When I first visited it was meat and potatoes.
I got funny looks when I ask for a salad or some veggies.
Also my suggestion was not to do it for fun,but to donate some of your time to coach people who needed it but couldnf afford it. Totally different.
Charge the people who can pay, but make a point to donate your time and talent for God's glory and not to line your picketboo or buy a bigger house.
Last edited by a moderator:
I took the recognized course in Canada, Canfitpro. She doesn't want me training anybody and has no interest in my input. She just wants to do her thing. I never called her anything close to fat. She just told me what she was going to do and asked me to cook tasty healthy meals for her because I used to be a chef. When I told her a possible better approach I was instructed not to give her fitness advice, if she wanted it she would ask for it. She just likes to walk for exercise...and canoe but we don't own one....or live on the water.
You are right. She probably would get upset, I just don't see why. I'm not saying it in a complaining way. I love her regardless. The reason I ever brought it up was to illustrate that perceptions of your competence are often based on your profession. No need to apologize. You did what you thought to be right...and you probably weren't wrong. God bless us both!
A
Lol I don't think it's your professional status that will make a difference to rather your wife takes your advice or not.
Like I said, my husband is a great encouraged and coach but I prefer him not training me and telling me what to do.
Walking is good. Its when I pray and think, when I talk a walk in the woods with my dog.
My husband tells me he would rather focus on me being healthy then losing weight. He thought I was underweight in college. I guess that was part of why, he always tried to feed me.
I do wonder what you believe is a healthy weight is and what kind of fitness advice you gave your wife.
Like I said, my husband is a great encouraged and coach but I prefer him not training me and telling me what to do.
Walking is good. Its when I pray and think, when I talk a walk in the woods with my dog.
My husband tells me he would rather focus on me being healthy then losing weight. He thought I was underweight in college. I guess that was part of why, he always tried to feed me.
I do wonder what you believe is a healthy weight is and what kind of fitness advice you gave your wife.