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Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: Being A Husband What's the Role

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    Default Being A Husband What's the Role

    To start this discussion out, I have a question. I'm 32 years old, and a married man with 4 children. Now, the question is this: What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on? Looking for any Biblical advice here.
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    Senior Member maxwel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Have you tried talking to your pastor?
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    how does your wife want to be led? Does she want to be led? The most successful marriages I have seen have an older couple that they go to for the big decisions and then they listen to them.

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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    It's not that she does not have good advice, but I often wonder if this is the way things are supposed to be. She is very smart, but I'm not sure that she should be the deciding factor. Yet after I think about it more, as long as her perspective agrees with God's Word, then I think I am safe. Praise Jesus for His Word, and help. Thank you for your comments. I'm not sure if there is a way to say that this thread is closed, but I'm going to close it, unless others would like to bring forth Biblical information.

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    Senior Member Sirk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    It's not that she does not have good advice, but I often wonder if this is the way things are supposed to be. She is very smart, but I'm not sure that she should be the deciding factor. Yet after I think about it more, as long as her perspective agrees with God's Word, then I think I am safe. Praise Jesus for His Word, and help. Thank you for your comments. I'm not sure if there is a way to say that this thread is closed, but I'm going to close it, unless others would like to bring forth Biblical information.
    Ok...how bout this. You are the CEO and your wife is the Board of Directors. Should a CEO disregard the advice of their Board of Directors? Is that biblical enough?
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    To start this discussion out, I have a question. I'm 32 years old, and a married man with 4 children. Now, the question is this: What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on? Looking for any Biblical advice here.
    ****you have to work together and come to some kind of agreement in the Lord------you're the leader so you need to follow the Lord and also Love your wife a lot...
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    To start this discussion out, I have a question. I'm 32 years old, and a married man with 4 children. Now, the question is this: What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on? Looking for any Biblical advice here.
    A lot of guys want to boss their wives around. Here’s my advice:

    You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matt 22:39 RSV

    You and your wife have to come up with solutions to your problems that are acceptable to both of you. It takes time and effort.
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    Pray constantly. 1 Thess 5:17 RSV

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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role


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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    hi the answer is in Ephesians 5;22-33 and 6:1-3 Your war isnt flesh and blood meaning against your wife its against satan and his cohorts. amen

    God Bless you
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    Senior Member Dan58's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on?
    Once your married, you surrender making decisions yourself and engage in compromise. If you come to an impasse and can't negotiate, then agree to get a third unbiased opinion, and abide by it. I've learned not to be a dictator, because my decisions are usually wrong
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    To start this discussion out, I have a question. I'm 32 years old, and a married man with 4 children. Now, the question is this: What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on? Looking for any Biblical advice here.
    Pray together about the decision.

    Make a list of pros and cons and exchange lists?

    Then discuss with one another.

    Typically we go with whoever feels more strongly about the decision or whichever one makes more sense financially.

    For example we took the carpet out of our house and replaced with flooring that looked like wood. My husband prefered wood but looked into synthetic flooring and found one 1/3 the price of real wood. He tested a sample piece the manufactor sent (hit it, dropped things, water, etc)

    Another conflict we had was our old tv used to make a high pitch screeching sound that he couldn't hear (he lost that range of sound due to gunshot backfire when he was a kid without right ear protection), I told him it sounded like it would explode. Since he couldn't hear it, he thought I was exaggerating. He wanted to save enough money to buy a big nice tv. I told him I just wanted one that didn't threaten to explode. However, it wasn't that important to me, I just didn't watch tv that much.

    Eventually one of his friends came over one day and they were watching tv and it made that noise. His friend asked him about it and from the kitchen I yell "see, I am not going crazy, someone else can hear the sound too." he did his research and got us a flat screen tv later the next weekend. At the time he talked about putting that one in our bedroom and getting a bigger one for our living room but 7 years later, it hasn't happened.

    We prefer camping and being outdoors when possible now a days.

    So the role of a husband?

    Lead by example, provide for your family both with material needs like food, water and shelter and spiritual needs like love, security and prayer.
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    It's not that she does not have good advice, but I often wonder if this is the way things are supposed to be. She is very smart, but I'm not sure that she should be the deciding factor. Yet after I think about it more, as long as her perspective agrees with God's Word, then I think I am safe. Praise Jesus for His Word, and help. Thank you for your comments. I'm not sure if there is a way to say that this thread is closed, but I'm going to close it, unless others would like to bring forth Biblical information.
    There is equality in Biblical marriage.

    1 Corinthians 7:4 ►
    New International Version
    The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    To start this discussion out, I have a question. I'm 32 years old, and a married man with 4 children. Now, the question is this: What am I supposed to do as a dad when it comes to making decisions. Especially those that my wife and I are at odds with each other on? Looking for any Biblical advice here.

    Hi humbledbygrace,

    My husband and I talk it through. He hears my thoughts, but he's the decision maker. We wives are to submit, even when we don't agree. And if it's a mistake, we both learn from it hopefully.
    oldethennew likes this.

    He has told you, O man, what is good;

    And what does the Lord require of you
    But to do justice, to love kindness,
    And to walk humbly with your God?
    Micah 6:8




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    Default Re: Being A Husband What's the Role

    First, the word "role" does not appear anywhere in the Bible. However, instructions to submit, which sometimes are directed towards wives, can also apply to husbands.

    "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Eph.5:21

    So, God does want us to be aware of the needs of others, and sometimes, that means submitting to a wife's decision, particularly if it is in the realm of her decision making, such as cooking, meals, etc. And a man that is active in those areas, well, God bless him!

    As far as child rearing, I do believe having a father who is strong on the discipline side, (with love!) is so important to the kids. The father needs to set boundaries and limits and be willing to enforce them. So that means discipline, including time outs, losing privileges, and the occasional corporal punishment, if the other things don't work, and the law allows it where you are.

    Our motives as parents is not to set out arbitrary rules for each other, but to remember how Christ would have acted, and how our actions will bring those children to Christ.

    Small children, contrary to popular opinion, do need to be trained up in the way they will go. If you establish external limits when children are small, in love, they will learn to internalize those boundaries. As they get older, they will need less and less disciple, as they become self disciplined or self controlled.

    The world says let kids raise themselves. And when they get old enough to understand, then start disciplining them. Except, by then it is too late. That is why this permissive attitude has resulted in such a messed up bunch of teens, doing drugs, on-line bullying, and an epidemic of suicides.

    Sorry, got caught up on biblical child rearing there. I hope you will be a strong father, and intervene, but also, listen to the ideas and suggestions of your wife.
    oldethennew likes this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

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