Ok, so for the longest time I have been stressing about decisions. I've had a lot of pressure from people that have been saying that I need to be the one making the decisions in my family. They say that I shouldn't let my wife take such an authoritative role. As a result of this pressure, I have been doing some thinking. The question about the role of a man in a marriage has definitely come up many times in my mind as a result. So now, here is where things get interesting. As I was making a post, asking for help on the issue about the role a man is supposed to play, I wondered if anyone had any Biblical advice. While posting I began to wonder if the Bible really had all the answers to my questions. To my amazement, an answer came to me. The answer can be found in John Chapter 10. Last night in Prayer meeting, we discussed John 10. So this passage has been on my mind.
One of the neat things about the Word of God, is that it encourages critical thinking like nothing else you can imagine! I'm so glad that Jesus gave us His Word, and that He has given us minds to do our own thinking. He is so incredible!
So, the question was: how does John 10 help me in my search to find out whether I should be the one to make the decision on an issue or my wife. The answer actually floated up to the surface quite quickly, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit who brought it to my mind so quickly.
So, take out your Bible, and head over to John 10 with me. John 10 looking at verse 11:
"I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep."
So what does this have to do with my marriage and my role as a husband? Notice Jesus role is: "shepherd" That means that He is in charge. I don't have to worry about the decisions, as long as I leave them up to Him.
The next question that comes to mind though after reading this is: What if the Good Shepherd leads me in a way that my wife does not approve of? Should her advice be taken over Jesus? Absolutely not. The verse actually answers this fear right away. You see, the main fear about taking someone's advice is that they really don't care about what happens to you afterwards. Jesus however backs up His advice with His Own existence! He "gives" His life for the sheep. This tells me very clearly, that if His advice causes conflict with my wife, that I can trust Him anyways.
A really neat thing about this too is that she wants to follow God too, so though we may have our disagreements, we ultimately both need to be with Jesus.
You see, the real issue about Eden was not that Eve didn't listen to her husband, but rather that she did not listen to God. Further, Adam after knowing what was right, did not trust God to provide for Him. Were the decisions to be reversed, it would have been the other way around. We need to choose to follow God even when others aren't, or see things differently than us, while at the same time taking a mature stance that we are both seeking the Lord's Will in the matter. Once the burden has been laid at His nail scarred feet, we can then experience unity as a couple, and in Him.
In conclusion, I am further convinced, that it is far better to follow God's way, even if I run into opposition for doing so.