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Thread: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

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    Default What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    Ok, so for the longest time I have been stressing about decisions. I've had a lot of pressure from people that have been saying that I need to be the one making the decisions in my family. They say that I shouldn't let my wife take such an authoritative role. As a result of this pressure, I have been doing some thinking. The question about the role of a man in a marriage has definitely come up many times in my mind as a result. So now, here is where things get interesting. As I was making a post, asking for help on the issue about the role a man is supposed to play, I wondered if anyone had any Biblical advice. While posting I began to wonder if the Bible really had all the answers to my questions. To my amazement, an answer came to me. The answer can be found in John Chapter 10. Last night in Prayer meeting, we discussed John 10. So this passage has been on my mind.

    One of the neat things about the Word of God, is that it encourages critical thinking like nothing else you can imagine! I'm so glad that Jesus gave us His Word, and that He has given us minds to do our own thinking. He is so incredible!

    So, the question was: how does John 10 help me in my search to find out whether I should be the one to make the decision on an issue or my wife. The answer actually floated up to the surface quite quickly, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit who brought it to my mind so quickly.

    So, take out your Bible, and head over to John 10 with me. John 10 looking at verse 11:
    "I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep."

    So what does this have to do with my marriage and my role as a husband? Notice Jesus role is: "shepherd" That means that He is in charge. I don't have to worry about the decisions, as long as I leave them up to Him.

    The next question that comes to mind though after reading this is: What if the Good Shepherd leads me in a way that my wife does not approve of? Should her advice be taken over Jesus? Absolutely not. The verse actually answers this fear right away. You see, the main fear about taking someone's advice is that they really don't care about what happens to you afterwards. Jesus however backs up His advice with His Own existence! He "gives" His life for the sheep. This tells me very clearly, that if His advice causes conflict with my wife, that I can trust Him anyways.

    A really neat thing about this too is that she wants to follow God too, so though we may have our disagreements, we ultimately both need to be with Jesus.

    You see, the real issue about Eden was not that Eve didn't listen to her husband, but rather that she did not listen to God. Further, Adam after knowing what was right, did not trust God to provide for Him. Were the decisions to be reversed, it would have been the other way around. We need to choose to follow God even when others aren't, or see things differently than us, while at the same time taking a mature stance that we are both seeking the Lord's Will in the matter. Once the burden has been laid at His nail scarred feet, we can then experience unity as a couple, and in Him.

    In conclusion, I am further convinced, that it is far better to follow God's way, even if I run into opposition for doing so.

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    Default Re: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    The Holy Spirit will lead/guide us in every way, as we travel on our paths,
    but WE have a CHOICE, to follow or not...

    discerning what our own will is, as opposed to following The Holy Spirit's will,
    is the KEY and what opens door the to the right path...

    the Scriptures are our GUIDE-BOOK - if our leading disagrees with the Scriptures,
    then we are in error and it is time to 're-check' our direction...

    EPH. 4:12-13.
    For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

    Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man,
    unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ:

    we both, since our 'conversion', have been led to work together in TOTAL-UNITY.
    UNITY is a constant theme throughout the Bible, it is a rare thing to see,
    but it can definitely be achieved when we walk in His Light'...
    Angela53510 likes this.

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    Default Re: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    Ok, so for the longest time I have been stressing about decisions. I've had a lot of pressure from people that have been saying that I need to be the one making the decisions in my family. They say that I shouldn't let my wife take such an authoritative role. As a result of this pressure, I have been doing some thinking. The question about the role of a man in a marriage has definitely come up many times in my mind as a result. So now, here is where things get interesting. As I was making a post, asking for help on the issue about the role a man is supposed to play, I wondered if anyone had any Biblical advice. While posting I began to wonder if the Bible really had all the answers to my questions. To my amazement, an answer came to me. The answer can be found in John Chapter 10. Last night in Prayer meeting, we discussed John 10. So this passage has been on my mind.

    One of the neat things about the Word of God, is that it encourages critical thinking like nothing else you can imagine! I'm so glad that Jesus gave us His Word, and that He has given us minds to do our own thinking. He is so incredible!

    So, the question was: how does John 10 help me in my search to find out whether I should be the one to make the decision on an issue or my wife. The answer actually floated up to the surface quite quickly, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit who brought it to my mind so quickly.

    So, take out your Bible, and head over to John 10 with me. John 10 looking at verse 11:
    "I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep."

    So what does this have to do with my marriage and my role as a husband? Notice Jesus role is: "shepherd" That means that He is in charge. I don't have to worry about the decisions, as long as I leave them up to Him.

    The next question that comes to mind though after reading this is: What if the Good Shepherd leads me in a way that my wife does not approve of? Should her advice be taken over Jesus? Absolutely not. The verse actually answers this fear right away. You see, the main fear about taking someone's advice is that they really don't care about what happens to you afterwards. Jesus however backs up His advice with His Own existence! He "gives" His life for the sheep. This tells me very clearly, that if His advice causes conflict with my wife, that I can trust Him anyways.

    A really neat thing about this too is that she wants to follow God too, so though we may have our disagreements, we ultimately both need to be with Jesus.

    You see, the real issue about Eden was not that Eve didn't listen to her husband, but rather that she did not listen to God. Further, Adam after knowing what was right, did not trust God to provide for Him. Were the decisions to be reversed, it would have been the other way around. We need to choose to follow God even when others aren't, or see things differently than us, while at the same time taking a mature stance that we are both seeking the Lord's Will in the matter. Once the burden has been laid at His nail scarred feet, we can then experience unity as a couple, and in Him.

    In conclusion, I am further convinced, that it is far better to follow God's way, even if I run into opposition for doing so.
    Oh boy! I'm struck with a strong sense of sadness for your wife. Apparently, you don't need to listen to her because once she gives advice, she can just walk away.

    How glad I am to be married to a man who knows he and I are in a partnership with God. God is the owner/board. Hubby is the CEO. I am the President. We answer to God and do things according to God's company policies and mission statement, but when it comes to everyday decisions we decided who gets to do the day-to-day long ago. (It was negotiated by who prefers doing what and who hates doing what.) And when bigger decisions need to be made, we talk things over and come to agreement. If we can't agree, he has final vote.

    I give him that willingly because he loves me like Jesus loves his church, so, no matter what his decision is, he makes it through God's word and with me in mind.

    Everything you posted sounded like you've decided everything based on John 10, instead of anything based on what your wife needs. NOT a good show of your marriage.
    Angela53510 and oldethennew like this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    Everything you posted sounded like you've decided everything based on John 10, instead of anything based on what your wife needs. NOT a good show of your marriage.
    I think everything Humble posted is based on a misunderstanding of John 10.

    Humble speaks of listening to only the words of Christ. In John 10 it says
    John 10:37 If I am not doing My Father's works, don't believe Me.

    We have a picture of who Christ was in the dynamics of the Hebrew family. If a Father felt a son was worthy the son was made an agent of the Father so if the son did business with someone it was as if it was with the Father. The Father was still the head.

    Humble needs to find out from the Torah where the Father sets down the principles He created our world with to see how marriage is to work. Just as you have worked out in your marriage, you are operating as one person as God ordained marriage to be.

    Hosea gave us an example of working out a tough marriage problem. He stayed married while his wife went off into sin. God used this to show us His mercy and forgiveness always available to us.

    It isn't important who makes decisions in Humble's marriage, it is important that they would no more hurt the other in any way than they would harm themselves.

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    Default Re: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    As usual, i am going to harp on this word "role." It simply is not in the Bible.

    But, but, people say - the "concept" is there. Well, if you want to look at Roman and Greek household codes, which Paul and Peter wanted people to follow, so they would not upset the culture, you can find the concept.

    But if you really want to follow Jesus, you will realize that God's plan is for us all to be one in Christ, (John 17) and that there is no male or female! (Gal. 3:28) Pretty hard to have a role, when it doesn't exist!

    Instead of focusing on the husband's power and authority, focus on Jesus power and authority. Become a servant, as Christ did. How many men think they could "serve" their wives?

    And look at your strengths and weaknesses. My father was a brilliant man, and good at everything. But my mom had worked in accounting, had more time than my dad, so she took over managing the money and keeping track of it. My father did other things around the house, like managing repairs and maintenance, besides being the only one working in the family.

    My husband and I are pretty traditional in the things we do around the house. We each manage our own money, for that works for us. We make decisions together. Another couple might do things the opposite. A third couple, might take a totally different approach to how to manage a marriage and a household.

    The Bible tells us to submit to God, and follow him. We all need to do more of that, and not worry about some arbitrary cultural "roles," that the Bible doesn't have!
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

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    Default Re: What John 10 has to say about the Being a Husband and the role that we play

    Quote Originally Posted by humbledbygrace25 View Post
    Ok, so for the longest time I have been stressing about decisions. I've had a lot of pressure from people that have been saying that I need to be the one making the decisions in my family. They say that I shouldn't let my wife take such an authoritative role. As a result of this pressure, I have been doing some thinking. The question about the role of a man in a marriage has definitely come up many times in my mind as a result. So now, here is where things get interesting. As I was making a post, asking for help on the issue about the role a man is supposed to play, I wondered if anyone had any Biblical advice. While posting I began to wonder if the Bible really had all the answers to my questions. To my amazement, an answer came to me. The answer can be found in John Chapter 10. Last night in Prayer meeting, we discussed John 10. So this passage has been on my mind.

    One of the neat things about the Word of God, is that it encourages critical thinking like nothing else you can imagine! I'm so glad that Jesus gave us His Word, and that He has given us minds to do our own thinking. He is so incredible!

    So, the question was: how does John 10 help me in my search to find out whether I should be the one to make the decision on an issue or my wife. The answer actually floated up to the surface quite quickly, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit who brought it to my mind so quickly.

    So, take out your Bible, and head over to John 10 with me. John 10 looking at verse 11:
    "I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep."

    So what does this have to do with my marriage and my role as a husband? Notice Jesus role is: "shepherd" That means that He is in charge. I don't have to worry about the decisions, as long as I leave them up to Him.

    The next question that comes to mind though after reading this is: What if the Good Shepherd leads me in a way that my wife does not approve of? Should her advice be taken over Jesus? Absolutely not. The verse actually answers this fear right away. You see, the main fear about taking someone's advice is that they really don't care about what happens to you afterwards. Jesus however backs up His advice with His Own existence! He "gives" His life for the sheep. This tells me very clearly, that if His advice causes conflict with my wife, that I can trust Him anyways.

    A really neat thing about this too is that she wants to follow God too, so though we may have our disagreements, we ultimately both need to be with Jesus.

    You see, the real issue about Eden was not that Eve didn't listen to her husband, but rather that she did not listen to God. Further, Adam after knowing what was right, did not trust God to provide for Him. Were the decisions to be reversed, it would have been the other way around. We need to choose to follow God even when others aren't, or see things differently than us, while at the same time taking a mature stance that we are both seeking the Lord's Will in the matter. Once the burden has been laid at His nail scarred feet, we can then experience unity as a couple, and in Him.

    In conclusion, I am further convinced, that it is far better to follow God's way, even if I run into opposition for doing so.
    It is also up to the wife to "follow God's way". She also has to put God before you in making decisions. But on things the Bible doesn't cover, you both need to make decisions together. Marriage is a partnership- one person does not make all the decisions- both make the decisions- the big ones and the small ones.

    Conjoined twins are forced to make decisions together- if one wants to go this way and the other that way, they will pull each other apart. I've seen conjoined twins run- each controlling one leg. They've learned to work together flawlessly. That is how marriage should be also.

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