Burning bridges

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Depleted

Guest
#41
It hurts because it's the truth. Truth that you don't want to acknowledge.. Just face it, acknowledge it, forgive and move on.
Easier said than done. Especially the "move on" part.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#42
If they didn't worship themselves so much, then none of what happened would have happened. I know God is not going to get me out of a bad relationship only to go back, when they don't change their hearts.
Your 43 years old. Kind of late to go back, isn't it? (I considered going back with Dad when we were close to losing our house, but decided it would be easier to live in our car, than to live with him)

At this age, forgiving is to talk it out. (And calling them white washed tombs, and telling them they worship themselves isn't really going to cut it.) But before you get to that point you're really going to have to seek God and have him fill you with mercy, because as it stands now, I've rarely seen someone as bitter as you, which is saying a lot. I went through drug rehab, counseled at that drug rehab, worked at a runaway shelter, and then became group home parents for up to 6 teen boys. Most those folks had plenty of reason to become bitter, yet none became as bitter as you are. So, you're really going to have to let God soften you a bunch before going to see them and talking it out.

And, if the talking it out works, then you do what most adults do -- visit occasionally.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#43
Boy are you angry, why? This is not about you.
You're projecting. Kayla is angry. She's hurt! Angry is when you let bitter increase. Hurt is when you climb out of the mask of anger and feel what you're really feeling.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#44
She's not angry. If you would re-read her posts, she's saying it's okay to set boundaries with family and friends, to let them know you're not going to let them take advantage of you. If you refuse to forgive them, you're only hurting yourself. All you've done on here so far is be sarcastic, and shun our advice. The collective opinion here seems to be that you need to stop setting yourself up as a target, forgive your parents, and set some boundaries. And for goodness sake, find a better attitude because this poor me one you have, totally sucks..
Nooooo! :eek:

You can say "sucks" on here? Every one of my "stinks" has been a dressed up" sucks." lol
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,943
113
#45
Everyone has to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling.

The anomaly that entered the human race after the fall changed the function of the community. Our current family system is a byproduct of polarized biochemical processes.

This anomaly halters in the production line of humans every once and a while, and spits out a child with their bioelectrical circuitry set on 0.

I happen to be one of these children, now please be respective of the fact that this is way over most peoples heads for now.

When I read weirdo stuff like this, I realize that you are a big part of the problem with your parents.

As for the Fall, it brought sin and death. It did not change the family structure God laid down for our benefit and protection. Otherwise Hid would not have clearly laid out in the Ten Commandments that we are to honour our fathers and mothers!

My suggestion is to get some counselling for yourself. Between the tremendous bitterness at your age, and this kind of made up pseudo-science, you have some major issues going on!
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#46
Boy are you angry, why? This is not about you.

Oh I get it!! You dont like it when people hurt your feelings but think its fun to turn around and slap someone else in the face. Ohhh you're that person. What I was doing was empathizing by sharing a personal story. But hey Im so so sorry. I get it. Posts all over the forum your first day in to get attention and when you get it you slap people. Got it. By all means lets hear more so we cam all get slapped for empathizing with you again. Im starting to think its your family that burned the bridges with you.

Depleted,have at it.You were right.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#47
There are just some people we can't help, Kayla. And this guy is one of them. He's vague, talks in riddles, and shoves away any advice received. Just shake off the dust..
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#48
There are just some people we can't help, Kayla. And this guy is one of them. He's vague, talks in riddles, and shoves away any advice received. Just shake off the dust..

I dont know what it is with newbies lately.I swear its all the same person.We have one in the polygamy thread thats the same way. Pretend to be hurt and vulnerable and when you empathize with them and say "hey maybe this would help" they go nuclear!! They start ranting and raving and carrying on after acting like they wanted "help." I had a gf like this and finally cut her loose. It was "poor me,no one loves me,you cant understand,I was abused" on and on.When I suggested she get counseling and drop a friend she had that was misusing her,she cursed me.That was the limit! Done! I haven't seen her in 8yrs. She likes head games and I cant stand that foolishness. So let them figure it out on their own.They're too full of themselves to listen to anyone so they suffer. Its their own choice.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#49
There are just some people we can't help, Kayla. And this guy is one of them. He's vague, talks in riddles, and shoves away any advice received. Just shake off the dust..
I really am thinking he's both too proud and has a serious mental disorder. At least, I'm going down on the scales of thinking he's a troll. That's a plus in his court!
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,943
113
#50
I do believe personality disorders are involved in cases such as this, and the one you mentioned, Kyla! These people generally refuse to take responsibility for themselves, blame others, are unable to make a good life for themselves, because they have wrapped themselves in bitterness and anger.

I have a brother like this. He has a diagnosis of Dependant Personality Disorder, with features of Narcissism, and Borderline. He is 60 and lives in my mother's basement, where he literally does nothing, all day, day after day. He used to have a blog about the environment, but his computer broke, and now he doesn't even have that. My mom has an old colour TV with only 2 colours, and he occasionally watches sports. But he has never thought about others, doing things for others, forgiveness, growing or moving on, and I suppose he never will.

I am not necessarily saying the OP is like this, but certainly, there are some crucial issues that he is not revealing, or perhaps doesn't want to know himself, about his life, and his relationship with God, which, by his select use of Scriptures to support his own ravings, is certainly not a rich and fulfilling relationship, with God leading and guiding him, and transforming him in spite of himself!
 
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Depleted

Guest
#51

I dont know what it is with newbies lately.I swear its all the same person.We have one in the polygamy thread thats the same way. Pretend to be hurt and vulnerable and when you empathize with them and say "hey maybe this would help" they go nuclear!! They start ranting and raving and carrying on after acting like they wanted "help." I had a gf like this and finally cut her loose. It was "poor me,no one loves me,you cant understand,I was abused" on and on.When I suggested she get counseling and drop a friend she had that was misusing her,she cursed me.That was the limit! Done! I haven't seen her in 8yrs. She likes head games and I cant stand that foolishness. So let them figure it out on their own.They're too full of themselves to listen to anyone so they suffer. Its their own choice.
Why are there so many people interacting on any given forum online all day every day?

I think one main reason is introverts. Introverts aren't shy as often as we think we are. It's just that being around others saps our strength. We like others. We'd just rather not be around them. Online it's easy because we can be with others without literally being with others. And, FINALLY, we can say what we've wanted to say all along if the extroverts weren't so busy talking so much that they don't give us a chance to say what we want to say.

I'm not saying everyone on social networking sites are introverts, but I think quite a few of us are. Definitely majority. Probably vast majority.

Now, what else could make people go to such a site all day, every day? Or even often throughout every day? Apparently, either we don't have jobs or we do and the bosses don't mind us spending our work hours online. I can't help to think, there are that many bosses that don't mind, so most of us probably don't have jobs.

Why don't we have jobs? Three reasons come to mind:
1. Retired/don't need one.
2. Can't find one.
3. Can't work.

Who can't find a job and who can't work? Sometimes they are one and the same. I'd find a job if I could find a boss willing to put up with the fact that I have to have a recliner at my desk, or at least a big comfy chair, and I can only work for 1-2 hours before having to go home, because I'm too sore. And, oh! If I overdo, don't expect me back for a couple of days. Just can't seem to find that boss. :eek:

But the truth is many of us are disabled for one reason or another. When people think "disabled," immediately they see wheelchairs, crutches, canes, and people stuck in bed and in pain. Those of us who've been here long enough can name a dozen people like that quickly.

BUT there is another kind of disability that stops people from working. How many jobs are available for autistic people? How many schizophrenics can work? Bi-polar? For that matter, how about social anxiety, agoraphobics, OCD, etc.? And heaven forbid, if you have more than one of those disabilities.

So, who comes to these sites? Especially Christian sites where we're supposed to be sweet, kind, and door-mat like?

Yeah, that's why I'm thinking "not just pride" for 73.

(I'm also thinking "1973? I was as tall as I'll ever be by then. Why are their full-blown, middle-aged people who were born that year? Shouldn't they still be little kids?" And, Kayla? Don't you dare bring up what year you were born, because I still consider you my age, and don't want you to destroy my delusion. lol)
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#52
Why are there so many people interacting on any given forum online all day every day?

I think one main reason is introverts. Introverts aren't shy as often as we think we are. It's just that being around others saps our strength. We like others. We'd just rather not be around them. Online it's easy because we can be with others without literally being with others. And, FINALLY, we can say what we've wanted to say all along if the extroverts weren't so busy talking so much that they don't give us a chance to say what we want to say.

I'm not saying everyone on social networking sites are introverts, but I think quite a few of us are. Definitely majority. Probably vast majority.

Now, what else could make people go to such a site all day, every day? Or even often throughout every day? Apparently, either we don't have jobs or we do and the bosses don't mind us spending our work hours online. I can't help to think, there are that many bosses that don't mind, so most of us probably don't have jobs.

Why don't we have jobs? Three reasons come to mind:
1. Retired/don't need one.
2. Can't find one.
3. Can't work.

Who can't find a job and who can't work? Sometimes they are one and the same. I'd find a job if I could find a boss willing to put up with the fact that I have to have a recliner at my desk, or at least a big comfy chair, and I can only work for 1-2 hours before having to go home, because I'm too sore. And, oh! If I overdo, don't expect me back for a couple of days. Just can't seem to find that boss. :eek:

But the truth is many of us are disabled for one reason or another. When people think "disabled," immediately they see wheelchairs, crutches, canes, and people stuck in bed and in pain. Those of us who've been here long enough can name a dozen people like that quickly.

BUT there is another kind of disability that stops people from working. How many jobs are available for autistic people? How many schizophrenics can work? Bi-polar? For that matter, how about social anxiety, agoraphobics, OCD, etc.? And heaven forbid, if you have more than one of those disabilities.

So, who comes to these sites? Especially Christian sites where we're supposed to be sweet, kind, and door-mat like?

Yeah, that's why I'm thinking "not just pride" for 73.

(I'm also thinking "1973? I was as tall as I'll ever be by then. Why are their full-blown, middle-aged people who were born that year? Shouldn't they still be little kids?" And, Kayla? Don't you dare bring up what year you were born, because I still consider you my age, and don't want you to destroy my delusion. lol)
Far be it for me to burst any bubble or delusion you have about me :p So I will stay mute on that point.
It seems you and I have similar issues so if you find a boss like that,give me a call! I'm a stay at home wife so I zip in here though out the day and see whats going on.I wouldn't be the introvert,I was around a lot of people when I traveled in ministry and I think I miss being around people.Hubby goes off to work,I have no car and so its just me and the pups. Actually thats how I came to be at CC. For the first time in my life I was completely alone and didn't know how I was going to handle it. I came across CC and I felt in touch with others and not so isolated. Now I have friends here,possibly more enemies,but hopefully the friends outweigh them :)

I really dont mind people having issues.My father grew up in a very bad situation,long story. But I understand people with disorders,abuse,past issues. What I do not understand is people pretending to open up or seeking advice and when you give it they burn you down just to get a laugh over it. The OP was so sensitive he asked you to stop hurting him but it didnt take him a minute to turn around and burn me down. He was attention seeking all over the forum and then when he gets advice he scorns it.I get very fed up with this type of person very quickly. He's at an age to know better.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
310
83
#53
It's been over a year since I burnt every bridge connecting to my family. I cut down their precious idol to the ground, and dashed my mother and father's hopes in me for good.

White washed tomb's, the spirit whispered deep in my soul for 10 long years before I woke up.
I noticed you referred to yourself 7 times in your post but you didn't mention God or His Son at all. Standing against bad things is not the same as standing for God.

I fear your focus is not in the right place. It appears to be on yourself, not on the truth of God and the death burial and resurrection of His Son.

Ask God for help in understanding His purpose for your life.

I pray God makes it crystal clear to you and that you embrace with your whole heart.