God gives us problems to help us get closer to Him. Don't worry it is all temporary. All these financial difficulties and all these feeling that you are in your chains carrying a heavy burden in your heart, I have felt that feeling before. But I found my hope in Christ, in letting Him control my life. I advice that you let Him control your life. Tell Him to have His will, not your will, and I promise He will change your life DRASTICALLY and be better in every situation.
These life lessons are all for us to learn, don't worry. About your financial struggle, God said He feeds the birds of the air, what more to us He will give. Humble yourself, swallow your pride, and accept Him as your savior and "provider", and trust me Jennifer, everything will come to place.
For the practical answer:
God tells us that we are one with whom we are married to. If there is "anything" that you can do to fix your marriage, do it. Forgive your husband, and tell him to go to church with you for reconciliation with the help of pastors. Tell him to accept Christ (if he still doesn't). Tell him to "talk" seriously and discuss on what your future plans are. It will be a mutual choice if you will go for separation or not. If you decide to go on your own, remember that God in His own chosen time will give us the person, the husband or wife, that He decides for us. If you decide to still be together, God will guide you if He chooses that person to be with you all your life. And He will tell you to get away if the relationship does not involve His choice .Maybe all this is from your own life's choices. Maybe all of these problems sprang from you attempting to make choices and decisions thinking you are controlling everything in your life, and if you lose control, then you explode and lose yourself. Give everything to God, everything to Jesus. Let go let God control. Let Him. Open your arms 'cause He has always opened His arms for you, waiting. Accept His forgiveness and help, then everything will be okay. Trust Him.
And lastly, pray with all your heart and with all your soul. Remember, the apostles have undergone more worse case scenarios of financial situation than yours but they still got through it. How? 1 word: JESUS. Our provider.
I am a fellow Christian who is right now undergoing the same kind of financial situation. But look at how well I am. It is all because He is in control of my life. I'm still alive. I'm still eating. I have clothes to wear, and a humble cheap home by the countryside. But what gives? I have a God who owns the universe. The creator of all things. I don;t look at His creations, I look at the creator. I'm not dead yet. I didn't die of hunger or thirst. I am well with 2 dollars in my pocket everyday. He feeds me, clothes me, and provides for me.
God told me to seek His kingdom first, and all these things (things you need) shall be added unto you.
Trust me. And ultimately, TRUST GOD.
God bless you, Jennifer.
PS.: May 5 is close, accept Christ's control in your life fast, and talk with your husband (with gentleness please to avoid fights and arguments). I am 101% sure Jesus loves you, will never let go of you, and will never let you down.
