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Christian Family Forum

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Thread: Saving my Marriage

  1. #1
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    Default Saving my Marriage

    I am 40 years old my wife has got sucked in by a older man. He is a smooth talking criminal. We have Been married for 13 years. I need to win her back and don't have long to do this. We have 2 beautiful girls. I need all the help I can get. I love this woman and want to win her back and keep my family together. I've been praying everyday. Please help!

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    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    I am 40 years old my wife has got sucked in by a older man. He is a smooth talking criminal. We have Been married for 13 years. I need to win her back and don't have long to do this. We have 2 beautiful girls. I need all the help I can get. I love this woman and want to win her back and keep my family together. I've been praying everyday. Please help!
    What issues did you have in your marriage before this happened. You dont have to list them here. But look into those issues and start working on them with her. Something caused her to walk away. Its probably deeper than you think. That would be my advice.
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    She said she can't explain it. She deals with seasonal depression every year. Winter months but never this bad. I need to win her over. What would win a heart back

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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Absolutely nothing, if she's that determined to leave..The two of you need some counseling.


    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    She said she can't explain it. She deals with seasonal depression every year. Winter months but never this bad. I need to win her over. What would win a heart back





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    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
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    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


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  5. #5
    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    She said she can't explain it. She deals with seasonal depression every year. Winter months but never this bad. I need to win her over. What would win a heart back

    Has she had an affair with this man? How serious is this situation with him?

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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    She said no. Just a emotional connection.

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    What would win a heart back
    pat and easy answer for this. Different people have different needs and motives. Some can change, some can't and some don't want to. No one here can tell you anything. We don't know her. And even if we did we still couldn't. You're married to her and still can't answer this question, so strangers certainly can't.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    She said she can't explain it. She deals with seasonal depression every year. Winter months but never this bad. I need to win her over. What would win a heart back
    Hmm, I usually don't do repeats, but this works here too:
    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body.31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
    Angela53510 likes this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    See if she will agree to counseling with your Pastor, if you feel that is wise. Godly counseling is very effective with breakthroughs. I know because I went through something similiar.

    God Bless. Praying for you!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Angela53510's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    I always find it strange that a woman's heart could wander, but I guess that is being sexist!

    I do agree you need to figure out what you were not doing, that hurt her, and what you were doing that hurt her. Sins of commission and omission. Were you loving her as Christ loves the church? Were you treating her as a special, one of a kind, and irreplaceable woman?

    Are you separated already? If not, surprise her by taking her out, or buying her flowers, or whatever she likes. That is not bribery, it is appreciation. Write her a letter telling her what she means to you, and send it to her. Make sure it is on pretty paper! LOL

    But more than buying or doing something, are you loving her every day? Do you let her know when you wake up, when you come home from work, and when you go to bed, how much you love and appreciate her? It doesn't even have to be words, even presence can mean a lot.

    Then there is her SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) Is she getting medical help for it? I grew up in Edmonton, Alberta, and I always went through SAD in the winter. I moved to Vancouver BC, and never had it again. Moved back to Edmonton, the second year there, I realized I had SAD again. I took a lot more Vitamin D (many people are very deficient in this vitamin!) And eventually I had to take 1/4 of an antidepressant for late Jan, Feb. and March. I moved back to BC, it is much warmer, so I didn't get it here. So, she really needs to see a doctor and get on an antidepressant!

    Lack of sunlight in the winter is a very real issue. Lack of sunlight also means lack of Vitamin D, which causes all kinds of physical and mental problems. If you have the money, take a holiday to somewhere warm with her, like Florida or Mexico. And do a lot of walking and sitting by the pool! IN THE SUN!

    I do hope you can win her back and restore your marriage. But do NOT get her back and then go back to living the life you were living. If you want her back, you must make a life commitment to treat her like Eph. 5, as Lynn posted above!
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

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    Senior Member Spokenpassage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnboy5 View Post
    I am 40 years old my wife has got sucked in by a older man. He is a smooth talking criminal. We have Been married for 13 years. I need to win her back and don't have long to do this. We have 2 beautiful girls. I need all the help I can get. I love this woman and want to win her back and keep my family together. I've been praying everyday. Please help!
    Go talk to your elders/pastors and discuss counselling.
    "My beloved is mine, and I am his." - Song of Songs 2:16

    What is the gospel message? https://youtu.be/TXOWyjB7d24

    What is 1689 Federalism? Here are some videos and resources to introduce you to the historic position of Baptist Covenant Theology: http://www.1689federalism.com/

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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    My wife tends to hold things in. She then explodes. Seen it happen to every member of the family. But never me. She says she loves and respects me and I am a good man. She said she can't justify doing this. I just need to win her heart back and keep my family together. Please God help me with this one.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Rockrz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saving my Marriage

    Devils need to be cast out... I'd start with fasting and prayer.

    James 1:5-8
    If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
    But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
    For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
    A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.


    You must ask the Lord for His plan and course of action...

    And, remember to not allow her to become an idol that would cause you to stumble if she decides to walk away... God is not going to force her to do what is right but as you pray He will get in her head (thoughts).

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