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I like how you shared that. Also grew with a number of sibs, and this is not saying others should have a big or small family, for to most i think, a small family is "convenient." But if the couple is firm in their faith, agree on a lot of many things like distributing their resources, time management, division of labor, etc. it is their decision. So i had also a built-in support group, which are all over the world now, but you know are still there for u when u need them.
To 10littlearrows, you are still quite ÿoung" however, and hopefully there be not many illnesses or accidents, which can be such a surprise. But if the children are close and supportive of you and one another, i hope there be no great problems. It may help to be part of a supportive church, esp when the children move out. Some couples discover a family of 5 or 7 is already big or ënough" before they realize to stop having more children... if we take some OT families, I wonder how the women esp dealt with health matters in their older age, like bone issues as example=).
To 10littlearrows, you are still quite ÿoung" however, and hopefully there be not many illnesses or accidents, which can be such a surprise. But if the children are close and supportive of you and one another, i hope there be no great problems. It may help to be part of a supportive church, esp when the children move out. Some couples discover a family of 5 or 7 is already big or ënough" before they realize to stop having more children... if we take some OT families, I wonder how the women esp dealt with health matters in their older age, like bone issues as example=).
We were 7 kids with 2 miscarries. We wore hand-me-downs as well. I had a blast as a kid. The youngest who had the most growing up thought we lived in poverty. If we did, I didn't notice.
I think everyone has their definition of what poverty means because they don't really know what poverty is. Ask some of those who went through the depression or the dust bowl era. They lived in poverty.
I think everyone has their definition of what poverty means because they don't really know what poverty is. Ask some of those who went through the depression or the dust bowl era. They lived in poverty.
D
I'm curious. Was it a tradition to send gifts to nephew and nieces for birthdays and Christmas before your middle kids were born? I'm kind of wondering if everyone didn't feel a little put upon with needing that many gifts. Between that and figuring where everyone can stay when you go visiting, I might feel a bit shell shocked over trying to squeeze a dozen visitors in the house.
As far as presents go, we were golden. We gave, but had no kids to receive back. Good deal for everyone. (Even for us, because since we didn't have kids, we could still buy the games we like for kids. And, sometimes? They let us play with them. lol)
As far as presents go, we were golden. We gave, but had no kids to receive back. Good deal for everyone. (Even for us, because since we didn't have kids, we could still buy the games we like for kids. And, sometimes? They let us play with them. lol)
T
We had aunts who would send a little box at Christmas with small gifts for each of us. They probably only spent 2-3 dollars on each present, but we were delighted. We often got little toys, or fun soaps or something. Another aunt always sent a board game that we could all play together. Yet another one sent us each a Christmas ornament for the tree every year. My point is that if you REALLY want to remember a big family at Christmas or b-days (choose one, don't feel you have to do both) there are things you can find. You really can! Even at cheap prices.
D
The "rules" were already set in his family. Only give gifts for kids, $20 per kid, and once they graduated high school, they are no longer kids. I'm second wife, so came along after everyone agreed. Now, imagine the rest of the family's reaction to us, if we ended up with the most kids.
Like I said, we ended up being the couple with no kids, and still liked picking out presents for kids. (More fun to pick toys than clothes, although once they became teenagers, our fun was over. lol)
I'm just wondering if the families really just see it all about their personal interest at stake. Other than that, I can't imagine why anyone cares how many kids someone has. I grew up in the times when six was usually enough, 10 was big, BUT the record holders in our small town, (and the small town only had 10,000 people), were the one family who had 19 and another one who had 21. (No multiple births either.) The only thing that boggles my mind at that point is how did they live with just one bathroom? (And they did. lol)
On the positive side, every kid in that town was eligible to be a friend to one of the kids in those houses, and they'd usually have someone their own age as a friend. They were all good friends, so they ended up knowing every single other kid in the whole town too. Instant football/baseball team, so they were golden in everyone's minds. lol
Like I said, we ended up being the couple with no kids, and still liked picking out presents for kids. (More fun to pick toys than clothes, although once they became teenagers, our fun was over. lol)
I'm just wondering if the families really just see it all about their personal interest at stake. Other than that, I can't imagine why anyone cares how many kids someone has. I grew up in the times when six was usually enough, 10 was big, BUT the record holders in our small town, (and the small town only had 10,000 people), were the one family who had 19 and another one who had 21. (No multiple births either.) The only thing that boggles my mind at that point is how did they live with just one bathroom? (And they did. lol)
On the positive side, every kid in that town was eligible to be a friend to one of the kids in those houses, and they'd usually have someone their own age as a friend. They were all good friends, so they ended up knowing every single other kid in the whole town too. Instant football/baseball team, so they were golden in everyone's minds. lol
T
All I know is it brings up these really weird conversations like:
Girl: Guys, can't you just share the bathroom a little more? It's really hard to get out of the house on Sunday morning when you have to brush your teeth ONE AT A TIME.
Boy: you're asking us to sacrifice our privacy for a little TIME? (horrified)
Girl: What is private about brushing teeth?
Boy: Ummm...
'Nother girl: So much for girls taking longer in the bathroom. Why is it that guys don't share bathrooms? We even share the shower when we're in a hurry.
'Nother girl: Yeah, remember that time when 3 of us showered at once?
(Cue for all girls to laugh)
Boy: That was more information than I ever needed to know.
Girl: Guys, can't you just share the bathroom a little more? It's really hard to get out of the house on Sunday morning when you have to brush your teeth ONE AT A TIME.
Boy: you're asking us to sacrifice our privacy for a little TIME? (horrified)
Girl: What is private about brushing teeth?
Boy: Ummm...
'Nother girl: So much for girls taking longer in the bathroom. Why is it that guys don't share bathrooms? We even share the shower when we're in a hurry.
'Nother girl: Yeah, remember that time when 3 of us showered at once?
(Cue for all girls to laugh)
Boy: That was more information than I ever needed to know.
D
I've been so enamor by imagining 19 kids getting ready for school on the first day in a house with just one bathroom and just one kitchen, I wrote a short story about it. Felt more like a mathematical problem. lol
I really do admire parents with many kids. Not only do they have to go through the same stages every other parent has to go through, but they must maintain some kind of discipline above and beyond what most parents go through. Just thinking of what most parents go through exhausts me, and yet these parents were willing to go the extra steps. They deserve award shows with financial awards just for doing that.
I really do admire parents with many kids. Not only do they have to go through the same stages every other parent has to go through, but they must maintain some kind of discipline above and beyond what most parents go through. Just thinking of what most parents go through exhausts me, and yet these parents were willing to go the extra steps. They deserve award shows with financial awards just for doing that.
T
It's intense...even with 12. But you learn to live with it. you learn exactly what has to get done in the bathroom, and what doesn't. (showers are stationary, showers are in the bathroom only). Everything else...there's a sink in the kitchen, a mirror in the bedroom, and then there's the great outdoors 
.
.
J
well it is written in the bible that "God will not put on you more than you can bare" so try to think on are you putting on yourself more than you can bare,because it is not simply a matter of how many children for children don't ask to be born,it is a matter of are "You"blindly going forward fulfilling the whims of the flesh? because it wouldn't matter if you had one hundred children,what matters is was it in your heart to have them,and if so God will provide for"All" of you but only if it is what is laid upon your heart and naturally"You" likewise your spouse must put forth the "effort" to take care of your family,for it is indeed written in the bible that"God gives the increase" but how can he do so if there be nothing to give an increase to? So really it boils down to what you can handle first,then God will provide the increase later,this doesn't mean he'll bombard you with children when you are struggling,for to have children is "Your" choice and they are a "blessing" "not" a "burden" more important than this seek out God's word,the bible, for answers and strive to do for God and "be careful for nothing" for with God leading you forward you will soon learn what is "truely" right and what is "truely" wrong and learn to"walk by faith not by sight" and let the holy spirit guide your actions,not the flesh,and in time,you'll no longer fret over numbers,you'll strive simply to do what is "right" not what is "easy".
I had just a single daughter who is now 37. I have 5 grandkids though. Why in the world did you have 10 kids and are contemplating more? With that many kids it seems like you wouldn't be able to spend much individual time alone with each child, especially when your on the road working to keep the family fed.
I think you need to read the Bible a bit more carefully. No where does it say, "God will not put on you more than you can bare (sic)" The right spelling is bear. Bare means "naked." But spelling mistakes aside, there is no promise that God will not give us unbearable trials. This is the verse, in context. It is TEMPTATION from sin that is at issue.
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Cor. 10:13
Plus paragraphs would make it possible to read the post! I couldn't get back the second line, it is so smushed together. And periods, commas need spaces between them and the next word. I've tried to stop being the forum grammar nazi, because my spell check abducts to many words, and the external key board for my Ipad is highly insensitive. So, basically, this is just advice for you, if you want people to read you posts.
Oh, and welcome to CC!
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Cor. 10:13
Plus paragraphs would make it possible to read the post! I couldn't get back the second line, it is so smushed together. And periods, commas need spaces between them and the next word. I've tried to stop being the forum grammar nazi, because my spell check abducts to many words, and the external key board for my Ipad is highly insensitive. So, basically, this is just advice for you, if you want people to read you posts.
Oh, and welcome to CC!
I find this posts, and all the comments quite ironic. People always assume that small families are the only way, and how it has always been. So, not!
My grandmother came from a family of 10 children. She was the oldest, and got married at 16 to get away from the farm and all her duties cooking, cleaning, babysitting, oh and yes, pulling the plough! I can never think about that without a shudder. And glad that my parents also lived in the city.
Ironically, my grandmother's family all turned out of be healthy, happy and strong Christians. Not a divorce among the ten, and an amazingly close extended family. So was that an anomaly? Nope. And none of them got pasts grade 12, except my grandmother who was too busy working to go to school. She eventually taught herself to read in English and Ukrainian, using the bible.
Meet my mother-in-law! Also from a family of 10 children, she had the good fortune to live in the city, in a 3 bedroom house. The boys slept in one room, the girls in the other, and the parents got the third. Oh and my MIL was the second youngest, and really never outgrew being babied, although her younger sister did. They all grew up to have happy marriages, good jobs and nary and divorce and they were all very close to each other. They have all passed away now, except for my MIL who will be going home soon, as Alzheimer's has got her by the throat, as it did one brother and her father. One interesting insight was that my husband's grandmother apparently told my MIL one time, "Do you think I wanted all these children?" So contraception was a big issue in earlier generations.
My parents, both came from families of 6, with one girl dying in both families of pneumonia as pre-schoolers. No antibiotics. Both my parents grew up during the depression, and it affected them differently. My father was the only boy, in a Ukrainian family. He was sort of the "promised" son. So, between my grandfather's job, the store, the boarding house and the rented homes, my father did not suffer. He and his sisters grew up happy and healthy, with close relationships with each other. My father was not a Christian till he turned 82, just before he died, but he knew the gospel, when it was preached to him. One other sister is an agnostic, the rest are Christians in various denominations. And they love Jesus!
My mom's family was very poor, living on a rock farm, unlike my great-grandparents who arrived early enough in Alberta to get the some of the best land in the world. My mom's parents couldn't make it, my mom was receiving food supplements at school during the depression. They moved into the city. Her family is not as close, but the oldest daughter turned JW and basically broke up the unity they had, by refusing to come to Christmas and Easter dinners, to say nothing birthdays. Sometimes my mom is resentful of that! I don't blame her!
So a family of 10 in my grandparent's time, (1900 to 1920) was ordinary, a family of 6 in my parent's time (1930-1940's) was pretty average, although my MIL's family was a bit of a throwback. My generation, the boomer's (1945-early 1960's) was 3 or 4. My parents stopped at 3. This is ironical. My dad was a University professor, and built houses on the side. They were always so tight with money, and giving to us kids. (Turns out they were multimillionaires! You would never have known it by the clothes we wore, the furnishings in our house, or the cars they drove.) So some depression suffering, but they could have afforded many more kids. But, almost no one had big families in those days. One aunt had 5 kids - her last two were twins. and she was scorned behind her back! It used to appall me as a child the way the other adults put her down.)
So, here I am with 4! Well, 5 if you count the miscarriage of a twin. I think there was a baby boom (boomete?) when our kids were growing up. Lots of families with 4 or 5 kids, and not just Christian ones. Playing hockey, going to tournaments, there were mostly large families, and lots of money.
So, my long winded historical explanation of how families have gotten smaller. I honestly don't think money is ever the issue. People have raised happy children, regardless of the money. But caring for them, being there for them? I think that is why people stop. People have hard jobs, big mortgages and bills. They want spare time to relax and pursue their own interests, and a a large family would limit them. The expectation is the kids will all go to college, and the parents will have to pay for them. (Three of mine have graduated university, only my daughter was helped with tuition and expenses, because we didn't have money for the older ones. They both got scholarships, academic, sports and based on need, to get them through.
I know my parents got very "bored" with us as we got older. Let's face it, there was no farm that needed workers. So we had to go be in the sports my parents were in - golf, swimming, and badminton. That was family time. I think I am more emotionally broken because of the lack of support I got when I was struggling, than any of those big families went through. Then there is the fact, that kids support each other in families. Mine played street hockey, basketball and baseball outside, along with the old traditional games like hide and seek, tag, etc. I couldn't do that growing up, because I had no siblings close in age, neighbours that were nearly by (these fancy subdivisions mean you are miles from the nearest kid!) My kids have always been there for one another.
So is the OP asking whether we think they should "interfere" with God, by using some kind of contraception? First, not getting where devices or pills that stop contraception is wrong in the Bible. Are you Catholics, and rhythm hasn't worked? I checked not interfering, and I think that was a wrong choice in the poll. I used contraception at various times, like when I was going to University, and sometimes it did not work. So, I did not interfere by having an abortion. That is what I meant. I started getting very sick after my 4th child, so we decided to end further children, although I do regret losing the twin, and not having more.
I don't see that not having children is against God's will for your lives! You have chosen to have a lot of children, that is fine. But at this point, take care of the ones you already have. A vasectomy is an easy choice, and you will not regret it!
My grandmother came from a family of 10 children. She was the oldest, and got married at 16 to get away from the farm and all her duties cooking, cleaning, babysitting, oh and yes, pulling the plough! I can never think about that without a shudder. And glad that my parents also lived in the city.
Ironically, my grandmother's family all turned out of be healthy, happy and strong Christians. Not a divorce among the ten, and an amazingly close extended family. So was that an anomaly? Nope. And none of them got pasts grade 12, except my grandmother who was too busy working to go to school. She eventually taught herself to read in English and Ukrainian, using the bible.
Meet my mother-in-law! Also from a family of 10 children, she had the good fortune to live in the city, in a 3 bedroom house. The boys slept in one room, the girls in the other, and the parents got the third. Oh and my MIL was the second youngest, and really never outgrew being babied, although her younger sister did. They all grew up to have happy marriages, good jobs and nary and divorce and they were all very close to each other. They have all passed away now, except for my MIL who will be going home soon, as Alzheimer's has got her by the throat, as it did one brother and her father. One interesting insight was that my husband's grandmother apparently told my MIL one time, "Do you think I wanted all these children?" So contraception was a big issue in earlier generations.
My parents, both came from families of 6, with one girl dying in both families of pneumonia as pre-schoolers. No antibiotics. Both my parents grew up during the depression, and it affected them differently. My father was the only boy, in a Ukrainian family. He was sort of the "promised" son. So, between my grandfather's job, the store, the boarding house and the rented homes, my father did not suffer. He and his sisters grew up happy and healthy, with close relationships with each other. My father was not a Christian till he turned 82, just before he died, but he knew the gospel, when it was preached to him. One other sister is an agnostic, the rest are Christians in various denominations. And they love Jesus!
My mom's family was very poor, living on a rock farm, unlike my great-grandparents who arrived early enough in Alberta to get the some of the best land in the world. My mom's parents couldn't make it, my mom was receiving food supplements at school during the depression. They moved into the city. Her family is not as close, but the oldest daughter turned JW and basically broke up the unity they had, by refusing to come to Christmas and Easter dinners, to say nothing birthdays. Sometimes my mom is resentful of that! I don't blame her!
So a family of 10 in my grandparent's time, (1900 to 1920) was ordinary, a family of 6 in my parent's time (1930-1940's) was pretty average, although my MIL's family was a bit of a throwback. My generation, the boomer's (1945-early 1960's) was 3 or 4. My parents stopped at 3. This is ironical. My dad was a University professor, and built houses on the side. They were always so tight with money, and giving to us kids. (Turns out they were multimillionaires! You would never have known it by the clothes we wore, the furnishings in our house, or the cars they drove.) So some depression suffering, but they could have afforded many more kids. But, almost no one had big families in those days. One aunt had 5 kids - her last two were twins. and she was scorned behind her back! It used to appall me as a child the way the other adults put her down.)
So, here I am with 4! Well, 5 if you count the miscarriage of a twin. I think there was a baby boom (boomete?) when our kids were growing up. Lots of families with 4 or 5 kids, and not just Christian ones. Playing hockey, going to tournaments, there were mostly large families, and lots of money.
So, my long winded historical explanation of how families have gotten smaller. I honestly don't think money is ever the issue. People have raised happy children, regardless of the money. But caring for them, being there for them? I think that is why people stop. People have hard jobs, big mortgages and bills. They want spare time to relax and pursue their own interests, and a a large family would limit them. The expectation is the kids will all go to college, and the parents will have to pay for them. (Three of mine have graduated university, only my daughter was helped with tuition and expenses, because we didn't have money for the older ones. They both got scholarships, academic, sports and based on need, to get them through.
I know my parents got very "bored" with us as we got older. Let's face it, there was no farm that needed workers. So we had to go be in the sports my parents were in - golf, swimming, and badminton. That was family time. I think I am more emotionally broken because of the lack of support I got when I was struggling, than any of those big families went through. Then there is the fact, that kids support each other in families. Mine played street hockey, basketball and baseball outside, along with the old traditional games like hide and seek, tag, etc. I couldn't do that growing up, because I had no siblings close in age, neighbours that were nearly by (these fancy subdivisions mean you are miles from the nearest kid!) My kids have always been there for one another.
So is the OP asking whether we think they should "interfere" with God, by using some kind of contraception? First, not getting where devices or pills that stop contraception is wrong in the Bible. Are you Catholics, and rhythm hasn't worked? I checked not interfering, and I think that was a wrong choice in the poll. I used contraception at various times, like when I was going to University, and sometimes it did not work. So, I did not interfere by having an abortion. That is what I meant. I started getting very sick after my 4th child, so we decided to end further children, although I do regret losing the twin, and not having more.
I don't see that not having children is against God's will for your lives! You have chosen to have a lot of children, that is fine. But at this point, take care of the ones you already have. A vasectomy is an easy choice, and you will not regret it!
Y
Most of my Dad's side of the family have large"ish" families themselves. It's something I can't connect with. I'm an only child myself, and an unwanted "accident" at that, so imagining people wanting to have multiple children just seems very foreign to me. I think though, that it's not my place to put limits on what someone else does, and I think that as long as the parents can adequately provide for the children and raise them to be wholesome members of society, then it's really none of my business.
