Painful end to marriage

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Victimized

Guest
#1
#1
Hello, my marriage of over 30 years has deteriorated after years of verbal abuse from my husband accompanied by health issues for both of us and his more recent persistent use of pornography and dating sites. There have been other problems also. I finally fled the home and ended up in a women's shelter for victims of domestic violence. Thank goodness our children are grown and on their own, except for our youngest who is a young adult with a learning disability. I miss her terribly and stay in contact but I feel it is best for her to stay in familiar surroundings unless she decides otherwise. At this point I am struggling with depression and financial issues and trying to find my way. My pastoral counselor has given me a lot of help which is both Biblical and common sense. Trying to stop fixing things that can't be fixed by me. I have always been a nurturer and put everyone else's needs and feelings first. I am understanding that Satan is trying to shame me into a state of emotional and spiritual depression. I have turned to Bible verses for encouragement and have asked Jesus to be with me. I am a sinner like everyone else but for the first time in years I am starting to believe that God wants me to be happy. I just need lots of encouragement and don't have much contact with people.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#2
Jun 30, 2015
24,685
13,373
113
#2
Welcome to CC. :)

It sounds like you have already made some good decisions and are on a healthy path. Many who come here refuse to leave and abusive spouse, so there is little to offer them beyond prayer. You've already taken the most important step (to get out) and can move forward from that point.

May I suggest that you sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. It contains much wisdom and sound advice for a person in your situation.

Know that God sees your heart and your situation. Trust in Jesus to guide and heal you. Seek His face diligently. He will not leave you stranded.
 
R

Randor

Guest
#3
#3
It's time to pick up the life God has had planned for you from your beginning. No looking back :)
 
Taro

Taro

Senior Member
#4
Apr 12, 2017
176
3
0
#4
Stay strong and move forward with life. You're exactly where God wants you to be. Continue to pray for guidance and for God to increase your faith. God bless you.
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#5
Feb 13, 2016
163
13
18
#5
Sister, I am sorry for what you have been going through.
You are strong... Believe Jesus. I am sure that He is working on that situation.
Trust Him, because He is your shelter and your Saviour.
You are safe in His arms, you are deeply loved by Him and He wants the best for you...
I am praying for you...
 
O

Optimism

Junior Member
#6
Jan 31, 2017
3
0
0
#6
I am so sorry! So much pain over many, many years! I was also in a marriage where emotional abuse was consistent and I struggled with allegiance to the relationship and understanding that God does not want us yoked with those who abuse. He has brought you new beginnings! He has brought you a chance at restoration and healing. Keep your prayer life strong, ask Him each day, several times a day, to give you strength and turn your heart toward HIM. You will get through this. You will be whole again. He will orchestrate your every step and give you guidance with every detail. I applaud your decision to try to give your daughter stability in spite of the reality that you are without her on a daily basis and miss her. She knows her mother's love, hold on to that. I encourage you to keep meeting with your pastor and understand His word and guidance for your life circumstances. You will come out on the other side of this. Stay strong. Hold on to HIM, He walks every step with you.
 
V

Victimized

Guest
#7
#7
Hello, my marriage of over 30 years has deteriorated after years of verbal abuse from my husband accompanied by health issues for both of us and his more recent persistent use of pornography and dating sites. There have been other problems also. I finally fled the home and ended up in a women's shelter for victims of domestic violence. Thank goodness our children are grown and on their own, except for our youngest who is a young adult with a learning disability. I miss her terribly and stay in contact but I feel it is best for her to stay in familiar surroundings unless she decides otherwise. At this point I am struggling with depression and financial issues and trying to find my way. My pastoral counselor has given me a lot of help which is both Biblical and common sense. Trying to stop fixing things that can't be fixed by me. I have always been a nurturer and put everyone else's needs and feelings first. I am understanding that Satan is trying to shame me into a state of emotional and spiritual depression. I have turned to Bible verses for encouragement and have asked Jesus to be with me. I am a sinner like everyone else but for the first time in years I am starting to believe that God wants me to be happy. I just need lots of encouragement and don't have much contact with people.[/QUOTE]
 
V

Victimized

Guest
#8
#8
Thanks to all for your encouraging words.
 
C

Cerwin

Guest
#9
#9
Victimized said:
Hello, my marriage of over 30 years has deteriorated after years of verbal abuse from my husband accompanied by health issues for both of us and his more recent persistent use of pornography and dating sites. There have been other problems also. I finally fled the home and ended up in a women's shelter for victims of domestic violence. Thank goodness our children are grown and on their own, except for our youngest who is a young adult with a learning disability. I miss her terribly and stay in contact but I feel it is best for her to stay in familiar surroundings unless she decides otherwise. At this point I am struggling with depression and financial issues and trying to find my way. My pastoral counselor has given me a lot of help which is both Biblical and common sense. Trying to stop fixing things that can't be fixed by me. I have always been a nurturer and put everyone else's needs and feelings first. I am understanding that Satan is trying to shame me into a state of emotional and spiritual depression. I have turned to Bible verses for encouragement and have asked Jesus to be with me. I am a sinner like everyone else but for the first time in years I am starting to believe that God wants me to be happy. I just need lots of encouragement and don't have much contact with people.
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]

Yes ! He wants you happy and while you are going through this "transition period" that might be sometimes confusing and awkward, I believe a new and better life is in His plans for you. And while you find yourself alone sometimes because you were always used to someone sharing your world with day and night, remember Jesus sits beside you now ...right there next to you in your car...next to you on your couch ...always near to protect and love you. God made these magnificent mountains and giant oceans and beautiful sunrises. The same Father decided you should be in this world too. You are precious to Him.
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#10
Feb 13, 2016
163
13
18
#10
Sister, you have a wonderful, loving and caring heart, and it is not a weakness... it is a strenght...
As you said, I always have been putting everyone else's needs and feelings first, too... and it has taken a lot of pain, suffering and tears until I realized that there are people who will never appreciate it and people who will misuse it... But those people must not change our hearts...
Forgive your husband and give your heart completely to Jesus, He will take care of it... You are His beloved daughter, so let Him wipe away every tear from you eyes and heal every wound on your heart...
 
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D

Depleted

Guest
#11
#11
Victimized said:
Hello, my marriage of over 30 years has deteriorated after years of verbal abuse from my husband accompanied by health issues for both of us and his more recent persistent use of pornography and dating sites. There have been other problems also. I finally fled the home and ended up in a women's shelter for victims of domestic violence. Thank goodness our children are grown and on their own, except for our youngest who is a young adult with a learning disability. I miss her terribly and stay in contact but I feel it is best for her to stay in familiar surroundings unless she decides otherwise. At this point I am struggling with depression and financial issues and trying to find my way. My pastoral counselor has given me a lot of help which is both Biblical and common sense. Trying to stop fixing things that can't be fixed by me. I have always been a nurturer and put everyone else's needs and feelings first. I am understanding that Satan is trying to shame me into a state of emotional and spiritual depression. I have turned to Bible verses for encouragement and have asked Jesus to be with me. I am a sinner like everyone else but for the first time in years I am starting to believe that God wants me to be happy. I just need lots of encouragement and don't have much contact with people.
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]
Well, at least, you're being honest. You see yourself as the victim and want nothing but encouragement. Yay for you!
 
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