Positive Reinforcement

[Fenner]

Interesting article about positive reinforcement.
Teacher to Parent - Positive reinforcement doesn't work in the long run | Opinion | moultrienews.com

 

[Willie-T]

Well, first of all, Jody seems to have a very limited and misfocused view of what Positive Reinforcement is. He seems to think it is "getting paid in items." It is the development of confidence and esteem. The coach may buy pizzas for a winning team... but it is the father who levels a respectful and appreciative "knowing" look at his son after a good run or a tackle, and gives the far more important piece of Positive Reinforcement, an approving nod from a subject of respect about a job well done.

But I did, however, find it interesting that Jody responds to material goodies given to him. This is from his own article:

"Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992. He has served as Charleston County Teacher of the Year, Walmart Teacher of the Year, and CEA runner-up for National Educator of the Year. He currently teaches English at Moultrie Middle School and is director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance."

Any of you teachers want to tell us how you get these rewards? I'll tell you. You, yourself, apply for them. I know this from personally watching the process many times. But, be that as it may, Jody is responding to exactly what he disregards as being of no value. That is a hoot, to me.

 

[Fenner]

I like the article. What he's talking about is something like a prize or not having a consequence.

He's not saying never show pride in your kid's, but when aren't following the rules let them know that there are consequences.
If they don't do their homework and miss recess then they miss recess. Don't have a fit if you and your child are expected to follow the rules or do the right thing. I tell my kid's that I'm proud of them, but when my Son got in trouble at school for hitting another kid, I took away his Nintendo for a week. That's how we get the snowflakes that cry when their person doesn't win an election.

 

[Stephen63]

IMO it's awful to give children awards for just participation in something. They eventually come to expect it.

My granddaughter was being raised that way for a while, & I started telling her the truth about some of her "successes".

What happens when they find out is the same when your kid finds out there's no Santa Claus..... from somebody else.

They understand they've been lied to.

When they don't find out, life smacks them right in the face at the worst moment..... and their self-confidence is destroyed.

I tell my grandkids the truth. When they draw an absolutely ugly picture, I will lightly joke with them to make my point, asking "What IS that?" They get the point, & we laugh it up instead of breaking their spirit.

To this day they will still ask my opinion, knowing I will "tell it like it is". Their parents will tell them it's great, & they will still come & ask me anyways.

Using real truth produces a real relationship. God honors those that refuse to lie to their children to make them feel good about themselves.

 

[Willie-T]

I'm sensing that some people are still equating Positive Reinforcement with paying children to act right (Rewards).

 

[Fenner]

Some people do that. I'm not one of them.

 

[Fenner]

When I was a kid I had these neighbors who were in their twenties. They loved me and I loved them. The wife loved to bake and garden and she showed me how to bake bread and I used to pull her weeds in the garden. Eventually they had a little boy, I used to go over and help her with the baby. My Mom asked if that was okay with her and she said she appreciated the help. I was about 11 years old. When she'd ask if I could come play with him or help her with something I would. Like I'd hang her laundry outside or play with the baby while she did housework.

I had a Niece and a Nephew and I knew how to change diapers and feed babies and things like that. I loved taking care of babies. I never asked for money and just had fun with them.

What I got out of it was a lot of thanks and hugs, and I'm still friends with this couple 30 years later.

I never expected anything for helping. We helped at home because that's what we did. What this author is trying to put out there is , let's teach our kid's not to expect a reward for doing the right thing. It's that simple. Like he said a police officer isn't going to pull you over and give you 50 bucks for doing the speed limit.

As far as his rewards, well that was something he set out and earned. Like entering a contest or winning the Super Bowl. Or even employee of the month. Yes, sometimes you do get rewarded for being exceptional at something. But you don't get a medal or trophy for doing your homework. I don't get a medal for doing the laundry.

 

[Depleted]

Interesting article about positive reinforcement.
Teacher to Parent - Positive reinforcement doesn't work in the long run | Opinion | moultrienews.com

Two thoughts:
1. If missing recess was the excuse for hating school then the boy didn't like school to begin with. I liked recess specifically because it wasn't school. It was fun during the drudgery of school. lol
2. Where is that lawn to walk on? Give me a buck every time I was going to walk where I shouldn't anyway, I'd gladly take the money. And when I wasn't getting the money again? So what? A shortcut was a shortcut. (Dad barbed-wired the hedge to stop kids from walking through the hedges onto his lawn. I went back to that house about 15 years ago. The hedge is gone, but there is still no pathway through that part of the yard. Generations learned not to walk on that lawn, and no one knows why anymore. lol)

Loved the article, although, I must admit, I don't rob banks because I don't want to go to jail and I don't want to hurt anyone. To rob a bank means I'd have to be willing to hurt someone, if needed.

 

[Depleted]

Well, first of all, Jody seems to have a very limited and misfocused view of what Positive Reinforcement is. He seems to think it is "getting paid in items." It is the development of confidence and esteem. The coach may buy pizzas for a winning team... but it is the father who levels a respectful and appreciative "knowing" look at his son after a good run or a tackle, and gives the far more important piece of Positive Reinforcement, an approving nod from a subject of respect about a job well done.

But I did, however, find it interesting that Jody responds to material goodies given to him. This is from his own article:

"Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992. He has served as Charleston County Teacher of the Year, Walmart Teacher of the Year, and CEA runner-up for National Educator of the Year. He currently teaches English at Moultrie Middle School and is director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance."

Any of you teachers want to tell us how you get these rewards? I'll tell you. You, yourself, apply for them. I know this from personally watching the process many times. But, be that as it may, Jody is responding to exactly what he disregards as being of no value. That is a hoot, to me.

In the time it took you to write that "my way is always superior to everything else"/jealous much? comment, you could have checked how those awards are granted. Guess again.

Real life and God has very little to do with your thoughts. Just "I know better each and every time." And I'm the arguer? Yeesh! You argue over everything, even good advice.

 

[Depleted]

IMO it's awful to give children awards for just participation in something. They eventually come to expect it.

My granddaughter was being raised that way for a while, & I started telling her the truth about some of her "successes".

What happens when they find out is the same when your kid finds out there's no Santa Claus..... from somebody else.

They understand they've been lied to.

When they don't find out, life smacks them right in the face at the worst moment..... and their self-confidence is destroyed.

I tell my grandkids the truth. When they draw an absolutely ugly picture, I will lightly joke with them to make my point, asking "What IS that?" They get the point, & we laugh it up instead of breaking their spirit.

To this day they will still ask my opinion, knowing I will "tell it like it is". Their parents will tell them it's great, & they will still come & ask me anyways.

Using real truth produces a real relationship. God honors those that refuse to lie to their children to make them feel good about themselves.

My brothers told me there was no Santa Claus, so we took it to Dad as the voice of reason. He told us that if we didn't believe in Santa anymore than Santa doesn't have to bring those presents anymore.

All three of us walked away understanding who Santa was -- Dad! No lie! We still believe in Santa. lol

 

[Depleted]

When I was a kid I had these neighbors who were in their twenties. They loved me and I loved them. The wife loved to bake and garden and she showed me how to bake bread and I used to pull her weeds in the garden. Eventually they had a little boy, I used to go over and help her with the baby. My Mom asked if that was okay with her and she said she appreciated the help. I was about 11 years old. When she'd ask if I could come play with him or help her with something I would. Like I'd hang her laundry outside or play with the baby while she did housework.

I had a Niece and a Nephew and I knew how to change diapers and feed babies and things like that. I loved taking care of babies. I never asked for money and just had fun with them.

What I got out of it was a lot of thanks and hugs, and I'm still friends with this couple 30 years later.

I never expected anything for helping. We helped at home because that's what we did. What this author is trying to put out there is , let's teach our kid's not to expect a reward for doing the right thing. It's that simple. Like he said a police officer isn't going to pull you over and give you 50 bucks for doing the speed limit.

As far as his rewards, well that was something he set out and earned. Like entering a contest or winning the Super Bowl. Or even employee of the month. Yes, sometimes you do get rewarded for being exceptional at something. But you don't get a medal or trophy for doing your homework. I don't get a medal for doing the laundry.

Sometimes I get money for doing the laundry. 50/50 on whether it came from my pocket or his, but if he wanted the money bad enough, he knows to take it out of the pocket. I do tell him when I found "laundered money." lol

 

[Willie-T]

In the time it took you to write that "my way is always superior to everything else"/jealous much? comment, you could have checked how those awards are granted. Guess again.

Real life and God has very little to do with your thoughts. Just "I know better each and every time." And I'm the arguer? Yeesh! You argue over everything, even good advice.

I already know how they are applied for. My wife was a teacher for most of her working life.