How do I learn to love myself?

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A

Angelique

Senior Member
#1
Aug 19, 2016
109
11
18
#1
Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.

But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.

So how do I learn to love myself?
I would appreciate prayers too.
 
88

88

Senior Member
#2
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
48
#2
Angelique said:
Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.

But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.

So how do I learn to love myself?
I would appreciate prayers too.
Click to expand...
*** (praying)*** have your confidence in God*** He loves you*** these feelings are lies*** press into God ...
 
C

Chad7

Junior Member
#3
Apr 24, 2017
9
2
3
#3
It is heartbreaking that you had so much trauma as a child. We do have a difficult time not letting the past overshadow the present.
First of all, I have offered a prayer to Our Lord for your healing.
Just some thoughts:
Expect a miracle, but don't expect that it will come instantly.
Meditate on the fact that God loves us, even though we certainly aren't deserving of it.
Make an effort to trust that God will keep His promise to use all things for good to those who love Him. And that "all things" includes our suffering.
Remember that Jesus suffered the worst kinds of rejection, persecution, denial, etc., and God used it all for our salvation. He can use your suffering to help others.
Don't let your feelings about yourself be based on the words and actions of others. Our value is given us by God, it is not given us by others or by ourselves.
Weeping endures for the night (and sometimes the night seems long) but joy comes in the morning.
Regarding suicide, don't "jump out of the frying pan into the fire." That would be infinitely worse--for eternity.
It would be very presumptious of me to expect that anything I have said above would make a great difference, but I hope that my taking the time to say it will help at least a little.
I pray again as I sign off.
Chad7
 
A

Angelique

Senior Member
#4
Aug 19, 2016
109
11
18
#4
Chad7 said:
It is heartbreaking that you had so much trauma as a child. We do have a difficult time not letting the past overshadow the present.
First of all, I have offered a prayer to Our Lord for your healing.
Just some thoughts:
Expect a miracle, but don't expect that it will come instantly.
Meditate on the fact that God loves us, even though we certainly aren't deserving of it.
Make an effort to trust that God will keep His promise to use all things for good to those who love Him. And that "all things" includes our suffering.
Remember that Jesus suffered the worst kinds of rejection, persecution, denial, etc., and God used it all for our salvation. He can use your suffering to help others.
Don't let your feelings about yourself be based on the words and actions of others. Our value is given us by God, it is not given us by others or by ourselves.
Weeping endures for the night (and sometimes the night seems long) but joy comes in the morning.
Regarding suicide, don't "jump out of the frying pan into the fire." That would be infinitely worse--for eternity.
It would be very presumptious of me to expect that anything I have said above would make a great difference, but I hope that my taking the time to say it will help at least a little.
I pray again as I sign off.
Chad7
Click to expand...
Thank you for taking the time to replay. I will save this writing. I have a little notebook where I write bibleverses in that give me strenght, thank you.
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#5
Feb 13, 2016
163
13
18
#5
Dear sister, I am praying for you... And I know that Jesus can heal you... and not only that He can, but also He WANTS to heal you... believe Him... you are His precious and beloved child... A few days ago I read some post on the internet, saying that God turn the broken pieces into masterpieces... so believe that your broken heart will be healed and whole again, it will be filled with joy and the love of God.
 
J

Jstar845

Junior Member
#6
Nov 16, 2016
10
1
0
#6
I am sorry to hear about what you have experienced as a child by your father and mother. This is not your fault. Regardless of how your parents treated you remember that you are loved. The situations that we encounter everyday are not understood, and this did not deserve to happen to you. Remember how wonderful that you are and that you have a lot to offer others. Lastly, you asked how do you learn to love yourself you have to appreciate who you are, work on not letting your past experiences shape your feelings or control your life, practice self-care and challenge negative thinking. [FONT=&quot]I would like for you to please call anytime the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).I’m praying for you. [/FONT]
 
M

mj007

Banned
#7
Feb 5, 2017
1,118
36
0
#7
The straight and short answer to how to love yourself is:

Do the things you love. Do the things you love. Do the things you love.

In battling things such as depression, the usual thought is that you know what you should do - but you don't.

Doing the things you love, or doing nothing. Which is better?

And yes it requires a lot of effort, especially if you are trying to get back into it. But be assured in faith, that doing what you love, is where you will find peace, and finding peace is finding God, and knowing God is there rather than feeling God is punishing you, or that God is not there. For God is love, and being still is allowing God to override your own turbulent mind.
 
Desertsrose

Desertsrose

Senior Member
#8
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#8
Angelique said:
Im dealing with this a long time. I dont like myself. Thats why I am dealing with depression. I did not have wonderfull childhood. My mom always said when I was a child: you take up all the energy of people. So I am always afraid things will go wrong with the people I love. I am always scared to be abanded. My father left us. My mother always said he did not wanted me and wanted an abortion, but she did want me. She told me this when I was a child. I did not have a nice childhood. I remember my mother was mad when I did nothing. I would always be carfeful with what I said because she could misunderstood and be mad. She would trow things at me etc. But I know she did the best she could, because she had her own problems.But now I am a grownup and I still deal with these feelings. I used to be very suïcidal, thinking of suïcide a couple of times a day. But Im proud I never tried it. But the suicidal feeling is a feeling of comfort. If it gets to difficult I can step out.So how do I learn to love myself?I would appreciate prayers too.
Click to expand...
Hi Angelique,


I'm so sorry that you grew up with such stress and the feeling of being unloved. I also grew up feeling unloved.


I would guess that instead of you wanting to love yourself, you want others to love you and you also want to be able to 'like' yourself. There's a difference.


The fact is that no matter who we are, even those who cut their bodies, do drugs/alcohol etc, love themselves. The real issue is that we don't like ourselves or the situations we find ourselves in.


The thing that helped me the most was to read the scriptures and allow them to renew my mind. Read, reread, get in a bible study and dig in and find friends within your church.


We need others around us that will encourage us to stay in God's word, to pray with us, for us. The more you grow in the Lord, the more you'll begin to like yourself and you will also begin to feel loved.


The Psalms are great for comfort and encouragement and also for finding out what God is like, full of lovingkindness and an everlasting Father who will never leave you nor forsake you.


Hugs and Prayers!
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#9
Aug 28, 2012
19,213
2,548
113
#9
Your mother should know better than to say something like that. I also have had a hard childhood so I know where your coming from my mom made sure I had a very low opinion of myself.

Even now I do not like myself just last night i was looking at myself with disgust but I know that what I am seeing is a lie and what i think of myself is simply an illusion. I really need to learn to take my own advice because when others say they only see a filthy weak sinner I say i see strong clean saint when they only see a person who is lacking and not worthy of god's love I say I see an adored child who who is more than worthy of his love.

Strange how easy it is to see through God's eyes when i look at others but when it comes to me well....
I think both you and I need to learn to see ourselves as he does because something tells me we are lying to ourselves and are the complete opposite of what we see and think of ourselves.
 
J

Jeshuvan

Pastor
Staff member
#10
Apr 15, 2012
221
2
0
#10
see yourself the way God sees you.
 
F

froggymom

Junior Member
#11
May 2, 2017
6
1
0
#11
Jeshuvan said:
see yourself the way God sees you.
Click to expand...
Heavenly Father,
Look down with your great compassion upon your child Angelique. Allow her to feel your warm embrace in her life. Open her eyes to see herself as you see her. Make known to her the good in her and the talents you have blessed her with for your glory.Bring her healing from her hurtful past and help her to forgive all who have caused her injury.
Psalm 139 :13 While you were in your mother's womb God formed you and loved you.
I will be praying for you daily.
 
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