Married and lonely
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Based on everything else this person has tossed out in this thread I would consider it to be the latter, I dont think she is capable of anything else unfortunately --
Oh, and since she is on ignore and I cant see her rantings (Praise God!), I'm sure there may have been some question as to my last post with the reference to a 'Jezebel spirit'.... so just to remove all doubt, I am posting a link to the characteristics of a Jezebel... it was educational!
What are the Characteristics of the Jezebel Spirit?
Ok, movin' on...
Based on everything else this person has tossed out in this thread I would consider it to be the latter, I dont think she is capable of anything else unfortunately --
Oh, and since she is on ignore and I cant see her rantings (Praise God!), I'm sure there may have been some question as to my last post with the reference to a 'Jezebel spirit'.... so just to remove all doubt, I am posting a link to the characteristics of a Jezebel... it was educational!
What are the Characteristics of the Jezebel Spirit?
Ok, movin' on...
You tell me. What are your standards? Do you have any integrity? Ps 139:21. Do you endorse his sinful plan? Ex 20:14 I'd get on the record now (Heb 13:4) or you'll give an account later (Mt 12:36). I'm good with this guy (Eze 33:8).
Are you willing to tell him that his plan is evil?
Am 5:15 You'll notice he didn't say: Wow, my plan was so evil. Forgive me Christian community for having named the name of Christ, then speaking about wanting to live like a pig and asking you all for an endorsement (Ro 1:32). God doesn't wink at sin. Do you?
No, he attempted to justify himself and blame others who tell him the truth--a sure sign of one falling away. I think I'm the only one will to tell him the truth by the way. Haven't read the whole thread (Ac 20:20). You're not seeing red flags here? Sounds like a shipwreck waiting to happen (1 Ti 1:19). His wife will experience the brunt of it if she's a believer. That's the deal. If she's a believer, she's got a heart (1 Jn 3:14). This one--stone cold (Eze 36:26). His heart is harder today than it was yesterday. You haven't noticed? Could be lights out for him (Ge 6:3). He had a divine appointment--there are no coincidences--and failed to repent (Ps 95:8).
He could get down on his face before a holy God. Otherwise, God will take him out at the knee caps (Ro 14:11).
Are you willing to tell him that his plan is evil?
No, he attempted to justify himself and blame others who tell him the truth--a sure sign of one falling away. I think I'm the only one will to tell him the truth by the way. Haven't read the whole thread (Ac 20:20). You're not seeing red flags here? Sounds like a shipwreck waiting to happen (1 Ti 1:19). His wife will experience the brunt of it if she's a believer. That's the deal. If she's a believer, she's got a heart (1 Jn 3:14). This one--stone cold (Eze 36:26). His heart is harder today than it was yesterday. You haven't noticed? Could be lights out for him (Ge 6:3). He had a divine appointment--there are no coincidences--and failed to repent (Ps 95:8).
He could get down on his face before a holy God. Otherwise, God will take him out at the knee caps (Ro 14:11).
Thank you Kaylagrl, you've been very considerate, as many others have been as well .. its just hard to watch without saying anything. I wont say anymore, because whatever I say will also be perverted into something else, just like my other posts have been, and I dont want to keep 'feeding the beast' so to speak...and thats not what this site is designed for.
"Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt..."
"Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt..."
Wow, I just signed up and started reading -- this seemed to be a rather heated topic! I don't want to appear too assumptive, but I would like to pipe in if I may...
Sola, thank you for sharing your heart. I know it takes courage (like the heart of a lion!
) to reveal such a personal part of your life, even though it is in the form of a blog where no one can see you or knows you... and I pray that you find resolution. It's clear to me that you are really struggling with this and that you do love your wife, otherwise you would not have sought out other believers and ask for help -- otherwise you would have moved forward with more self-entered resolutions like those 'in the world' would have done. I know from personal experience that a situation like this can certainly cause feelings of rejection and hurt, whether intentional or not... which my gut tells me none of this is intentional, but like has already been suggested, is likely caused from physical deficiencies of some sort... just love her through them and stay strong brother...
One more thing -- Serpentdove, why are you so hard-hearted?? Bless you for quoting scriptures, but Jesus said "my yoke is light, come to me, all of you, and you will find rest..." not 'DAAAAM YOU ALLLL YOU ARE GOING TO HELLLL!' I read the whole thread twice, and Sola did not say he was planning on doing any of the things he mentioned, but simply said he felt he was faced with only a few choices, and was looking for a Godly resolution... remember, Psalms says "..a kind word turns away wrath..." Just a friendly exhortation with love...
Happy Friday all --
God Bless!
Doodah
Sola, thank you for sharing your heart. I know it takes courage (like the heart of a lion!
) to reveal such a personal part of your life, even though it is in the form of a blog where no one can see you or knows you... and I pray that you find resolution. It's clear to me that you are really struggling with this and that you do love your wife, otherwise you would not have sought out other believers and ask for help -- otherwise you would have moved forward with more self-entered resolutions like those 'in the world' would have done. I know from personal experience that a situation like this can certainly cause feelings of rejection and hurt, whether intentional or not... which my gut tells me none of this is intentional, but like has already been suggested, is likely caused from physical deficiencies of some sort... just love her through them and stay strong brother...One more thing -- Serpentdove, why are you so hard-hearted?? Bless you for quoting scriptures, but Jesus said "my yoke is light, come to me, all of you, and you will find rest..." not 'DAAAAM YOU ALLLL YOU ARE GOING TO HELLLL!' I read the whole thread twice, and Sola did not say he was planning on doing any of the things he mentioned, but simply said he felt he was faced with only a few choices, and was looking for a Godly resolution... remember, Psalms says "..a kind word turns away wrath..." Just a friendly exhortation with love...
Happy Friday all --
God Bless!
Doodah
Yes, and sometimes the Lord reveals to those that have married someone who has been married before (partner still living) or they themselves have been married before (partner still living) and their current marriage is actually adultry which they need to ask / receive forgiveness for and refrain from intimacy altogether because it would be more adultry to engage in intimacy.
Or, we could ignore what Jesus said about marrying someone who has been divorced (partner still living)... and doing so would be building their lives on sand and not the firm foundation of Jesus' sayings.... leading to destruction.
Many are in this situation and this is why intimacy and their marriages in general doesn't work.
Really in that situation all one can really do is be roommates and focus more on the other person's relationship with the Lord as well as your own walk with the Lord.... and leave the monkee bidness alone.
Jesus and Paul both (Paul was married then his 'ol lady either died or left him) got along just fine without doing the sex thing as did many others. It's just flesh, so it's not actually something that is needful... unless you feed on this world's wisdom then you feel like it's abnormal to not be humpin on somethin
You have no idea how close Jesus walked with His Father, do you?
Maybe someday the Lord can teach you why He created man in the first place...
If it ain't happening and it ain't gonna be happening (you cannot force her to unless yer in to rape), then which is better???... to carry this desire in lust (sin) or to be delivered from it?
It's better to enter in to eternity without having been intimate in situations when your spouse refuses than it is to go to hell for carrying sexual lust which is living in sin... and this is exactly what it would turn in to when yer spouse refuses and a person still has the desires... they start lusting after someone or something else, cause satan will notice this weak point and continually drive them into sinful lusts.
It's above your head and below your knees... so you would be lost if yer spouse refused and it would cause all kinds of problems leading to more problems and you'd just be a wreck cause... like many, you have most likely been indoctrinated by this world to believe everyone just must partake in sexual activity of some sort otherwise they are abnormal.
So yes, being contrary to this world's sexual desires is better than burning with lust which is walking after the flesh and is living in sin.
Actually the greatest sin in America and the world is calling sin... a blessing.
They call that which is evil good and that which is good evil.
My Bible did not come with a "Book of Bob"
Or, we could ignore what Jesus said about marrying someone who has been divorced (partner still living)... and doing so would be building their lives on sand and not the firm foundation of Jesus' sayings.... leading to destruction.
Many are in this situation and this is why intimacy and their marriages in general doesn't work.
Really in that situation all one can really do is be roommates and focus more on the other person's relationship with the Lord as well as your own walk with the Lord.... and leave the monkee bidness alone.
Jesus and Paul both (Paul was married then his 'ol lady either died or left him) got along just fine without doing the sex thing as did many others. It's just flesh, so it's not actually something that is needful... unless you feed on this world's wisdom then you feel like it's abnormal to not be humpin on somethin
You have no idea how close Jesus walked with His Father, do you?
Maybe someday the Lord can teach you why He created man in the first place...
If it ain't happening and it ain't gonna be happening (you cannot force her to unless yer in to rape), then which is better???... to carry this desire in lust (sin) or to be delivered from it?
It's better to enter in to eternity without having been intimate in situations when your spouse refuses than it is to go to hell for carrying sexual lust which is living in sin... and this is exactly what it would turn in to when yer spouse refuses and a person still has the desires... they start lusting after someone or something else, cause satan will notice this weak point and continually drive them into sinful lusts.
It's above your head and below your knees... so you would be lost if yer spouse refused and it would cause all kinds of problems leading to more problems and you'd just be a wreck cause... like many, you have most likely been indoctrinated by this world to believe everyone just must partake in sexual activity of some sort otherwise they are abnormal.
So yes, being contrary to this world's sexual desires is better than burning with lust which is walking after the flesh and is living in sin.
Actually the greatest sin in America and the world is calling sin... a blessing.
They call that which is evil good and that which is good evil.
My Bible did not come with a "Book of Bob"
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Intimacy
adultery Ro 6:1
God can’t bless you having sex with someone else’s wife (Gen. 2:24, Ex. 20:14, Ps. 128:1–6).
It’s called serial adultery (Rom. 7:2, 3).
I don’t believe he’s said that he is in this situation in the thread. If that’s the case—bigger problems in River City, yes.
Men can lose their God-given bonding mechanism and find themselves in need of a little blue pill.
If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Mt 19:11 Our land is corrupt (Hos. 4:1–3) as this thread highlights. Can an adulterer return?
Prov. 7:27; Rev. 21:8
“There’s always hope. There’s just no prayer.” ~ Dennis Prager
Probably because he became a believer. Nothing new under the sun.
Recommended reading:
'Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America by Naomi Schaefer Riley
Neither does mine (1 Pe 4:5).
God can’t bless you having sex with someone else’s wife (Gen. 2:24, Ex. 20:14, Ps. 128:1–6).
It’s called serial adultery (Rom. 7:2, 3).
I don’t believe he’s said that he is in this situation in the thread. If that’s the case—bigger problems in River City, yes.
If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Mt 19:11 Our land is corrupt (Hos. 4:1–3) as this thread highlights. Can an adulterer return?
“There’s always hope. There’s just no prayer.” ~ Dennis Prager
Probably because he became a believer. Nothing new under the sun.
Recommended reading:
'Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America by Naomi Schaefer Riley
Neither does mine (1 Pe 4:5).
K
You tell me. What are your standards? Do you have any integrity? Ps 139:21. Do you endorse his sinful plan? Ex 20:14 I'd get on the record now (Heb 13:4) or you'll give an account later (Mt 12:36). I'm good with this guy (Eze 33:8).
Are you willing to tell him that his plan is evil?
Am 5:15 You'll notice he didn't say: Wow, my plan was so evil. Forgive me Christian community for having named the name of Christ, then speaking about wanting to live like a pig and asking you all for an endorsement (Ro 1:32). God doesn't wink at sin. Do you?
No, he attempted to justify himself and blame others who tell him the truth--a sure sign of one falling away. I think I'm the only one will to tell him the truth by the way. Haven't read the whole thread (Ac 20:20). You're not seeing red flags here? Sounds like a shipwreck waiting to happen (1 Ti 1:19). His wife will experience the brunt of it if she's a believer. That's the deal. If she's a believer, she's got a heart (1 Jn 3:14). This one--stone cold (Eze 36:26). His heart is harder today than it was yesterday. You haven't noticed? Could be lights out for him (Ge 6:3). He had a divine appointment--there are no coincidences--and failed to repent (Ps 95:8).
He could get down on his face before a holy God. Otherwise, God will take him out at the knee caps (Ro 14:11).
Are you willing to tell him that his plan is evil?
No, he attempted to justify himself and blame others who tell him the truth--a sure sign of one falling away. I think I'm the only one will to tell him the truth by the way. Haven't read the whole thread (Ac 20:20). You're not seeing red flags here? Sounds like a shipwreck waiting to happen (1 Ti 1:19). His wife will experience the brunt of it if she's a believer. That's the deal. If she's a believer, she's got a heart (1 Jn 3:14). This one--stone cold (Eze 36:26). His heart is harder today than it was yesterday. You haven't noticed? Could be lights out for him (Ge 6:3). He had a divine appointment--there are no coincidences--and failed to repent (Ps 95:8).
He could get down on his face before a holy God. Otherwise, God will take him out at the knee caps (Ro 14:11).
Ok,last time,the OP said adultery was not a Godly option. And you made up out of whole cloth that he does not love his wife. So you can throw a million Bible verses at us and look self righteous and superior but Im not impressed. He didn't say adultery was right.Period. And you're going on and on and on about something he did not say is ridiculous. You're picking on the person for something he did not say. And at this point you are falsely accusing him.
"God will take him out at the knee caps"? He has a hard heart? What are you talking about?! You dont know this person! You know nothing about him.What of his wife is the one that isn't a Christian? What if she's cheating and thats why she doesn't want to be with her husband? NO IDEA,you have no idea who is right or wrong in situation.All you're doing is what I just did,make a lot of assumptions and then judge the person. You dont know either of them and you are making unfounded accusations,massive assumptions,and lots of self righteous judgement thrown in with random Bible verses tossed in to mak you look good. You have an awful lot to say for a newbie,are you here to troll or discuss,I wonder...
You believe he loves his wife. I do not.
“I prefer clarity to agreement.” ~ Dennis Prager
Reprobates don’t love (2 Cor. 13:3–5). Christians love (Eph. 5:25–33).
You believe he’s a Christian. I do not (Mt 7:20).
“I prefer clarity to agreement.” ~ Dennis Prager
God knows his heart. From here, not lookin too good (Mt 7:20).
He hasn’t said that’s the case to my knowledge. Again, haven’t read the whole thread. He says I’m on ignore and then keeps responding to me. If you’re willing to lie about: love, honor, cherish; you’re willing to lie about a member being on ignore or not.
See:
Judge Rightly Is Not Some Guy's Name
You’re welcome (Ac 20:20).
K
Gosh, you'd think by reading peoples posts here they never had a marriage issue! Why is it wrong for him to want to have sex with his wife?! Why should he not have his needs met too? The Bible says not to forbid each other intimacy. God created us with the need for intimacy with our partner. And no one sees that his wife may have issues and be in the wrong for not being intimate with her husband and fulfilling his needs too?! My land people! I would expect my husband to think something was seriously wrong with me if I began to refuse intimacy with him and kept rejecting him for no apparent reason than "I dont want to". As a wife its my duty to see his needs are being fulfilled and he for me. If that part of our marriage isn't working it affects everything else. I cant imagine how I would feel if my husband rejected my needs again and again. If his wife has health issues,depression,whatever her reason may be,they need to find that out. I dont think it is Biblical for her to simply refuse him without reason,nor do I think he needs to push down his need for intimacy and just try and forget it. They need to find what the issue is and get it fixed. He does not need to push down his feelings.smh Horrible advice.
K
You believe he loves his wife. I do not.
“I prefer clarity to agreement.” ~ Dennis Prager
Reprobates don’t love (2 Cor. 13:3–5). Christians love (Eph. 5:25–33).
You believe he’s a Christian. I do not (Mt 7:20).
“I prefer clarity to agreement.” ~ Dennis Prager
God knows his heart. From here, not lookin too good (Mt 7:20).
He hasn’t said that’s the case to my knowledge. Again, haven’t read the whole thread. He says I’m on ignore and then keeps responding to me. If you’re willing to lie about: love, honor, cherish; you’re willing to lie about a member being on ignore or not.
See:
Judge Rightly Is Not Some Guy's Name
You’re welcome (Ac 20:20).
I believe what the OP said,he said he loves his wife and I have no reason to call him a liar.I take him at his word.
You dont believe he's a Christian? Who died and made you God? You dont know this person or their heart and lucky for the rest of us God doesn't ask your opinion,or Dennis Pragers.
You dont need to quote what he said,I already said what he said "none of them are Godly". I dont need to post proof,his comment is proof that you are falsely accusing him. And yes God does know his heart and YOU dont!
He does have you on ignore,you can still see posts from others posts on ignore.So you can stop calling him a liar on that count.smh And no he didn't say his wife is cheating and I didnt say she was,I was making a point to you. You're assuming and you know nothing about the issue. You dont know them personally. So stop making assumptions and unfounded accusations.
Good question! Who cares what you have to say? We know what God has to say and He judges the heart,not you! So leave the OP alone if you're not going to help and just toss unfounded remarks and make assumptions.
G
Serpentdove,
I'm wondering some things about you. You have attacked this man with anything but a Christian spirit. Maybe I'm an armchair psychologist, as I'm bad to analyze everything, but when I read your posts, the first thing I think is, "That's an angry individual." You refer to scripture with everything you say, and that's good, but the spirit in which you do it is not. You made the comment about someone holding his hand all the way to Hell. By holding his hand, they may keep him from Hell a lot quicker than you bashing him. You'll likely push someone over the edge straight into it! You are abrasive, which will attract no lost soul. What happened in your life to make you that way? Have you suffered abuse at the hands of someone? Were you cheated on and had your heart broken? Please, please, please rethink what you're doing. You can quote scripture, and give your opinion in a much tactful, sincere, attractive way. Right now, you MAY be leading no one TO God, and some AWAY from God. I don't think that's what you want to do. Please reconsider your approach. We all would appreciate it. I hope whatever has happened in your life to bring you to this point will fade, and you will be able to find peace. God Bless you. I mean that.
I'm wondering some things about you. You have attacked this man with anything but a Christian spirit. Maybe I'm an armchair psychologist, as I'm bad to analyze everything, but when I read your posts, the first thing I think is, "That's an angry individual." You refer to scripture with everything you say, and that's good, but the spirit in which you do it is not. You made the comment about someone holding his hand all the way to Hell. By holding his hand, they may keep him from Hell a lot quicker than you bashing him. You'll likely push someone over the edge straight into it! You are abrasive, which will attract no lost soul. What happened in your life to make you that way? Have you suffered abuse at the hands of someone? Were you cheated on and had your heart broken? Please, please, please rethink what you're doing. You can quote scripture, and give your opinion in a much tactful, sincere, attractive way. Right now, you MAY be leading no one TO God, and some AWAY from God. I don't think that's what you want to do. Please reconsider your approach. We all would appreciate it. I hope whatever has happened in your life to bring you to this point will fade, and you will be able to find peace. God Bless you. I mean that.
God knows his heart. We are fruit inspectors (Mt 7:20).
Thinking about committing adultery is evil (Ex 20:14). You’re not willing to say that. I am (Heb 13:4).
Neither do you (Eph 4:14).
Proof please (Eph 4:14).
So he says. He also said he’d: love, honor and cherish her (Eph. 5:25–33).
If he’s not a Christian, it would be best to fess up. Say, I’m not a Christian. I lied. Sorry. I misrepresented myself. I am the reprobate that you all say I am. Now, what? No one expects a reprobate to remain faithful to his wife.
When one claims to be a Christ-follower, we can reasonably expect him to follow Christ.
Neither do you (Eph 4:14).
So he says. He also said he’d: love, honor and cherish her (Eph. 5:25–33).
Hi Sola,
Welcome to CC!
I'm not sure why counseling isn't an option - many have received help in this way.
You know that in the bible it says that some are born eunuchs? That applies to women as well. They just don't have that strong desire for an intimate relationship.
I'm not saying that applies to your wife, but when you said she says it's not you, she may be referring to herself as being the problem.
It's nice to hear that you really do love your wife. You mentioned your options are stay, leave or cheat and none of them are Godly. Did you really mean that? Staying is not Godly?
True, leaving is not godly, but separation with the purpose of reconciliation is biblical. Not to divorce, but try to work things out with a short separation. And yeah, cheat is not Godly.
How is the relationship in other areas as far as her being your wife. Does she smile, show signs of caring for you, cleaning up after you, doing your laundry and cook meals, etc?
I hope you change your mind about leaving. Most on here have shown concern and help for you except there's a nasty on her for sure. The ignore list is a blessing for those type of people.
Keep praying, hoping and love her through whatever it is she's going through as you have already done. One of the fruit of the spirit is self-control and it's during times like this when we sure need the Spirit's help.
wow... and it keeps getting hotter!!
I'm turning on the ignore too... there is no profit in listening to (or reading) her texts any further... I would say I agree what Sola said about the Jezebel influence however... I read it, and many of the attributes apply!
I believe Jesus said it best... 'teach them in the path of righteousness, and if they wont receive you, brush the dust from your sandals and walk away...'
walking away now...
I'm turning on the ignore too... there is no profit in listening to (or reading) her texts any further... I would say I agree what Sola said about the Jezebel influence however... I read it, and many of the attributes apply!
I believe Jesus said it best... 'teach them in the path of righteousness, and if they wont receive you, brush the dust from your sandals and walk away...'
walking away now...