Married and lonely

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pottersclay

Guest
#121
#121
Thank you for the comments and for the rep ugly. In our personal lives we seem to be a bit shy in saying what is going on. I get that. It's not about having a sex drive to satisfy but more how our spouses know our needs.
Ever here the song " the way you do the things you do" only my wife knows me that way and I her.
To tell you the truth if a spouse refuses to have that special time continuous they are in violation of there vows.
It can be a very serious matter but women respond to love, husbands respond to respect.
As we grow older we get self conscious of our bodies which can cause problems. Learn to laugh at what gravity, to many groceries, surgery, has done because it's not the act but the person you want to be with.

My wife found this saying just the other day "if this diet don't work cremation will be my last hope for a smoking hot body".
She is in her sixties and sometimes I have to remind her I'm not a machine....lol.

Hang in there be patient, pray the Lord to direct you to stir up the romance.



..Potter
 
J

J7

Banned
#122
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
#122
Your body is your wife's & vice versa.

If she has trouble with sex, then it may be a physical malady.

It was customary in the OT to have several wives, so perhaps if she does not mind being a friend, you could get another wife?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#123
Mar 13, 2014
41,312
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#123
J7 said:
Your body is your wife's & vice versa.

If she has trouble with sex, then it may be a physical malady.

It was customary in the OT to have several wives, so perhaps if she does not mind being a friend, you could get another wife?
Click to expand...
It really doesn't work that way in this country. I hardly believe that his wife would be content to no longer being his wife but just a friend.
 
C

Christian71

Senior Member
#125
May 21, 2017
130
8
0
#125
pottersclay said:
Thank you for the comments and for the rep ugly. In our personal lives we seem to be a bit shy in saying what is going on. I get that. It's not about having a sex drive to satisfy but more how our spouses know our needs.
Ever here the song " the way you do the things you do" only my wife knows me that way and I her.
To tell you the truth if a spouse refuses to have that special time continuous they are in violation of there vows.
It can be a very serious matter but women respond to love, husbands respond to respect.
As we grow older we get self conscious of our bodies which can cause problems. Learn to laugh at what gravity, to many groceries, surgery, has done because it's not the act but the person you want to be with.

My wife found this saying just the other day "if this diet don't work cremation will be my last hope for a smoking hot body".
She is in her sixties and sometimes I have to remind her I'm not a machine....lol.

Hang in there be patient, pray the Lord to direct you to stir up the romance.



..Potter
Click to expand...
Potter I have been observing this discussion and agree with what you say wholeheartedly... Know your Lady!... I'm 71 and have had two fantastic women because it was not always about me... Your lady will tell you when she wants it, where, and how... To many Christians that I've talked to have looked at sex as a taboo topic... I lost my first wife to kidney cancer after 30 years and we had a great sex life... Then I met another who was divorced for ten years after being married for twenty-six and her ex was wham-bam-thank-you-mam. After I married her I showed her what real love was about, and we've been married now 13 years... I wined, dined and romanced her and still do to this day... She went through breast cancer two years ago and I thought I was going to lose her but God in his tender loving mercy spared her and I showed her through out her cancer how much I loved her... I've gone through some male problems but I still know how to satisfy her and do when were both in the mood... Ask any romantic man on here and they will tell you true love may go to the bedroom but it doesn't start there... There are over a thousand ways to love a woman, and the romantic man knows how to ask her and give her what she wants, needs and desires... Brother Glen
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#126
#126
Rockrz said:
If your spouse makes the decision that they will not have sex ever again... you have no choice but to bury the desire.

Otherwise, you'll be "looking for a slice of cake" from someone outside the marriage and living a life of sin by desiring sex with others which is sinful lust and this can easily lead to the actual act.
Click to expand...


If the spouses are Christians and there is nothing physically wrong with her then she is not fulfilling her duty as a wife. She has no right to make the decision for the both of them. Our bodies belong to each other. She needs to either seek a physical or emotional reason for this or she needs to go to counseling. She is being unfair to her partner and not fulfilling the duties of a wife.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#127
#127
Hungry said:
Thanks, that's what I'm trying to get across. We aren't supposed to let any fleshy desires control our thoughts or guide our steps. Question here, what if you succumb to the charms of a narcissist? After you get married they end up being completely self serving and your needs are never met. They just have you jumping through endless hoops and use their sex as a currency in the marriage to get their way. It's obviously not an ideal situation but I think it's more common then you would expect. Now you are either going to be a slave for sexual satisfaction, get a divorce, or refuse to play the game (gain mastery over your desires).
Click to expand...

But thats the point, its not a fleshly desire,its a God given desire and the wifes obligation to fulfill his needs and his obligation to fulfill hers.
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#128
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#128
kaylagrl said:
If the spouses are Christians and there is nothing physically wrong with her then she is not fulfilling her duty as a wife. She has no right to make the decision for the both of them. Our bodies belong to each other. She needs to either seek a physical or emotional reason for this or she needs to go to counseling. She is being unfair to her partner and not fulfilling the duties of a wife.
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...and if she is a pretend Christian?
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#129
#129
Hungry said:
...and if she is a pretend Christian?
Click to expand...

You're making an assumption the OP hasn't given. Marriage is about intimacy and its a God given desire whether Christian or not God put that desire there.If you're married your duty is to your spouse unless you are ill in some way. That is one of the reasons of marriage,intimacy. To marry and expect to not be intimate is unfair whether you're Christian or not.But the OP never said that so you're making an assumption.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#130
#130
Hungry said:
Thanks, that's what I'm trying to get across. We aren't supposed to let any fleshy desires control our thoughts or guide our steps. Question here, what if you succumb to the charms of a narcissist? After you get married they end up being completely self serving and your needs are never met. They just have you jumping through endless hoops and use their sex as a currency in the marriage to get their way. It's obviously not an ideal situation but I think it's more common then you would expect. Now you are either going to be a slave for sexual satisfaction, get a divorce, or refuse to play the game (gain mastery over your desires).
Click to expand...
Question for you. What if you succumb to the charms of a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater?

You won't do that because you're already married? Yeah, I get that.

So why don't you get this is one man with a real struggle instead a post-whatever-comes-to-your-mind thread?
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#131
#131
tourist said:
It really doesn't work that way in this country. I hardly believe that his wife would be content to no longer being his wife but just a friend.
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J7 is in Spain, so it doesn't work that way in his country either.

 
D

Depleted

Guest
#132
#132
kaylagrl said:
If the spouses are Christians and there is nothing physically wrong with her then she is not fulfilling her duty as a wife. She has no right to make the decision for the both of them. Our bodies belong to each other. She needs to either seek a physical or emotional reason for this or she needs to go to counseling. She is being unfair to her partner and not fulfilling the duties of a wife.
Click to expand...
Since we're in compromise mode now, can we take this one further? What if we also don't entertain the "What if" crowd anymore and give attention to the ones craving it this much on someone else's very personal thread?
 
J

J7

Banned
#133
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
#133
Apparently 2% of women are genuinely asexual; totally disinterested.

I think in this kind of situation a mistress is totally normal. King David had many wives and mistresses.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#134
#134
Christian71 said:
Potter I have been observing this discussion and agree with what you say wholeheartedly... Know your Lady!... I'm 71 and have had two fantastic women because it was not always about me... Your lady will tell you when she wants it, where, and how... To many Christians that I've talked to have looked at sex as a taboo topic... I lost my first wife to kidney cancer after 30 years and we had a great sex life... Then I met another who was divorced for ten years after being married for twenty-six and her ex was wham-bam-thank-you-mam. After I married her I showed her what real love was about, and we've been married now 13 years... I wined, dined and romanced her and still do to this day... She went through breast cancer two years ago and I thought I was going to lose her but God in his tender loving mercy spared her and I showed her through out her cancer how much I loved her... I've gone through some male problems but I still know how to satisfy her and do when were both in the mood... Ask any romantic man on here and they will tell you true love may go to the bedroom but it doesn't start there... There are over a thousand ways to love a woman, and the romantic man knows how to ask her and give her what she wants, needs and desires... Brother Glen
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I cannot think how many shades of red I'd be if hubby ever said stuff like that about me. lol

(But it's a very good shades-of-red feeling.)
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#135
#135
Christian71 said:
Potter I have been observing this discussion and agree with what you say wholeheartedly... Know your Lady!... I'm 71 and have had two fantastic women because it was not always about me... Your lady will tell you when she wants it, where, and how... To many Christians that I've talked to have looked at sex as a taboo topic... I lost my first wife to kidney cancer after 30 years and we had a great sex life... Then I met another who was divorced for ten years after being married for twenty-six and her ex was wham-bam-thank-you-mam. After I married her I showed her what real love was about, and we've been married now 13 years... I wined, dined and romanced her and still do to this day... She went through breast cancer two years ago and I thought I was going to lose her but God in his tender loving mercy spared her and I showed her through out her cancer how much I loved her... I've gone through some male problems but I still know how to satisfy her and do when were both in the mood... Ask any romantic man on here and they will tell you true love may go to the bedroom but it doesn't start there... There are over a thousand ways to love a woman, and the romantic man knows how to ask her and give her what she wants, needs and desires... Brother Glen
Click to expand...
Thank you brother, sorry for your loss, praise God for your finding another.

Loving your spouse is that magic ingredient for sure. It's the act of kindness with workboots on.

That's why I use the term " my darling" a lot because she is my one and only.
Love comes in many different packages and according to the word should make that women content and willing.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#136
#136
J7 said:
Apparently 2% of women are genuinely asexual; totally disinterested.

I think in this kind of situation a mistress is totally normal. King David had many wives and mistresses.
Click to expand...


No,not totally normal and of no help to the OP.



ps. see what you're getting at Lynn,may take some time to practice not answering...
 
C

Christian71

Senior Member
#139
May 21, 2017
130
8
0
#139
J7 said:
Apparently 2% of women are genuinely asexual; totally disinterested.

I think in this kind of situation a mistress is totally normal. King David had many wives and mistresses.
Click to expand...
Not as many as his son had... I've heard it said that King Solomon in the Song Of Solomon was writing about a romance between him and the Queen Of Sheba, but that is just speculation... I also heard that a Jewish man is forbidden from reading the Song Of Solomon until he reaches the age of thirty, because of its erotic nature... Anyone else know about that?... But to me Song Of Solomon goes very deep in a spiritual application... But to my understanding of King Solomon he must have been quite the Stallion... But his love for many women of many cultures and lands turned his heart away from God, as this scripture from Kings say so... Brother Glen

1 Kings 11:1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites:

11:2 Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.

11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.
 
J

J7

Banned
#140
Apr 2, 2017
1,915
13
0
#140
It only takes one bad woman to muck up a man, check out Jezebel
 
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