"Life is unfair!"

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Guest
#21
#21
Miri said:
You dont know Lynns story do ya! And yes we all have to suck it up, there is
no alternative. It's how we suck it up that counts. We can either trust in God
to bring us through grow in grace, patience, compassion and spiritual
maturity. Or we can let Satan have his way and throw the dummy out of the pram!

Sorry of that hurts but it's where we end up that counts, more than where we are.
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About a year ago, one of my nephews put a wonderful meme on FB. Wish I had saved it.

Two stick-people illustrations side by side. Both people were riding their bikes up a mountain. At the top of the mountain was God and it had everything to do with Psalm 23. In one picture, the scenery had soft meadows, a couple of sheep on the side and a wonderful sun in a cloudless sky. The other picture looked like an obstacle course found only in training for the elites in the military -- barbed wire, sink holes in the road, jagged edges, and a rain cloud unloading directly over the exhausted biker.

The first one said something like "This is what we thought Psalm 23 would be like." The second one said, "This is what it is like."

Yup -- that's what it's like all right. lol

Still worth it, because I know what the picture of what I deserve looks like too. Better this than that. And best part? God is with us even in this!
 
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#22
#22
notmyown said:
[video=youtube;EnOFh9WFe6k]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnOFh9WFe6k[/video]
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Thank you, because the other song was stuck in my head. Now I have a new song to stick in it. :)
 
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Miri

Guest
#23
#23
Depleted said:
About a year ago, one of my nephews put a wonderful meme on FB. Wish I had saved it.

Two stick-people illustrations side by side. Both people were riding their bikes up a mountain. At the top of the mountain was God and it had everything to do with Psalm 23. In one picture, the scenery had soft meadows, a couple of sheep on the side and a wonderful sun in a cloudless sky. The other picture looked like an obstacle course found only in training for the elites in the military -- barbed wire, sink holes in the road, jagged edges, and a rain cloud unloading directly over the exhausted biker.

The first one said something like "This is what we thought Psalm 23 would be like." The second one said, "This is what it is like."

Yup -- that's what it's like all right. lol

Still worth it, because I know what the picture of what I deserve looks like too. Better this than that. And best part? God is with us even in this!
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Ive been on both sides of that mountain. The peaceful side was even more
puzzling to me as I didn't know what was expected of me. Whereas on the complicated hard
side, I knew exactly what was expected of me. :)
 
M

Miri

Guest
#24
#24
I've just remembered something that a pastor use to say years ago.


The rain comes down on both the just and the unjust. But the just get wet,
because the unjust nicks the just's umbrella!

I didnt understand it at the time, I do now. King David knew what it meant too.
 
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#25
#25
Corbinscam said:
I disagree totally with your post. Love is important but it takes many forms. One of, or maybe the most, loving things anyone has ever said to me was "You're right....it isn't fair. Time to let it go....let it heal...and move on".

You can be loving and not coddle a person at the same time. Sometimes its needed. You can tell someone to get over it in a loving way.
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I'm not the letting go kind of person either. The hurts are real. They change us. But with God at work, they change us to more good too. Loosing our fortune (as it was -- never was rich, but we were going to be okay when we retired, until that fell through) hurt. It still hurts. But two benefits:
1. We get to see how God takes care of us anyway.
2. We have mad how-to-live-without-a-lot-of-money skills that others need if it happens to them too.

I'd rather have someone who has to live through it too tell me how to pull it off than a rich person. And that too is God being fair.

No where does it say we have to buckle down, suck it up, or move on. I've got mad full-out tantrum skills too. BUT, God does something completely fair there too. He's the one who pulls me up again, wipes the dirt off me, and then rehands me my walking staff to walk with him some more. When God wants us to move on, if we don't move on then, he'll give us the Jonah-sign to let us know it's time to move on.

I don't think he asks us to give up the hurt though. That hurt turns into a soft spot. He's very much into softening us up. After all, he took the biggest hurt we could have gotten already. So he gets hurt. Everything, including the hurts, work out for our good and his glory.
 
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#26
#26
kaylagrl said:

Well I suspect this has a lot to do with the person and their own timing. We cant push people to get over something in our timing either. My aunt died at the age of 43 with stomach cancer. One day perfectly healthy,the next having her stomach removed and passed away several months later. To say it was a shock to see a healthy woman lose so much weight that she could not lift her head from the bed,is an understatement.

There are times we need to morn with those that morn. Her husband was left with two teens with no mother, all three of them grieving. A few months after her death his family began pushing him to get rid of all her things. They'd been married over 20yrs. They pushed him to bag her things up and they still had her sent on them,I knew that was a comfort to him. He came to me one day,this was about 15yrs ago so I was younger,and he asked what he should do. I told him that when the time was right he would be able to let go,but that he should keep her clothes as long as he needed to and not let people push him when he wasn't ready.

My mom and her sister looked so much alike that they were mistaken often for twins,but they weren't.My aunt had a red coat she wore to church and one day we came home and found the coat hanging in the closet near the door. My uncle had finally let go. Several years later he fell in love again and remarried. Each persons timing is different and we need to respect that.
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Mom and Dad had four kids. (I say this because Dad and his second wife had two kids, and they're as much my brother and sister as the rest of us, but Mom had four kids.) When Mom died we were all kinds of what-in-the-world? No one ever told us how long we were allowed to grieve. (Or maybe they did, but we wouldn't hear them.) Four kids and each of us did mourning in 4 completely differet ways in completely different amounts of times.

I'm not sure any of us are done mourning yet. But we did have to move on.

When John was in the hospital I had brilliant ideas of cleaning the whole house while he was gone to surprise and delight him when he returned. I was never sure he was returning though. I cleaned his comforter and sheets two days before he came home. (We're both bad sleepers with CPAP machines, so have separate bedrooms to not disturb the other if we can't sleep.) Truthfully, I never touched them because if he didn't come home, I wanted to smell him again. I'm not sure that comforter and sheets would ever be cleaned if he did not come home... unless the smell fades eventually.
 
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#27
#27
Miri said:
Its true that some things take time to deal with, no one instantly has all the answers,
life is full of ups and downs, but there is light at the end of every tunnel, even the long
ones.

As Christians especially though, we have to be careful not to lay blame at the wrong door,
and to never lose sight of what God has done and who He is.

There are times when a person needs to ask God the why questions and take their burdens
to the Lord in prayer and seek answers, David certainly did in the Psalms.

Really though we have no right to say life is not fair. If anyone has a right to say it,
then it's God. He created every thing perfect, mankind then went and put a spanner
in the works.

God didnt stomp up and down and say it's not fair, instead He formed a plan to
redeem people from their sin. That plan was bourne out of love and entailed the
sacrifice of Jesus.


There is a right way and a wrong way. The wrong way is to stomp up and down and
say it's not fair, the right way is to pour your heart out to God, trusting and leaning on
Him to carry you through, because God is a God of love, our Heavenly Father.

Hope that makes sense. :)
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Oopsie.

 
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#29
#29
Zi said:
Obviously hence the rest of my post.. If one wishes to teach others, esp in a ministering way to the hurting they should then use the words of God not their own..
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Like you're (not) doing?
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#30
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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#30
Come talk to me.. I'll tell you about fair and unfair..

Zi said:
This is really insensitive and selfish of you to say as if your opinion should mean something or be held in such high regard... People go through real pain. It's not your call to tell them to basically suck it up... God's word is perfect and administers healing and comes from love.. Yours? Impatience and sound like disdain... 1cor 13, digest that then maybe try again.. Those who think they can teach are warned to take heed because their words will be under a microscope
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#31
#31
Zi said:
I dont uphold personal opinions above the word. I notice on this forum site that is the opposite a lot of times.
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I've never seen you do anything else but uphold your opinion on these forums. The good news is I'm not stalking you, so don't keep up with everything you say. I just notice you have a tendency to become defensive over stuff you have no need to be defensive about and then blame it on everyone else.

And then you say something like "I dont uphold personal opinions above the word." Yeah, you do. How many responses so far straight from your personal opinion above the word in this thread alone?

(I think I've already established I'm bluntly honest.)
 
Seekingfamily

Seekingfamily

Senior Member
#32
Jun 20, 2017
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#32
If we look at everything as a blessing, than how do we distinguish what is a curse?
 
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#34
#34
TemporaryCircumstances said:
I don't think my life has been unfair....
Things happen for a reason. And to us they may seem unfair, but the difference is we have a very narrow view. Our Father does not.
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I think your life (so far) has been tough. I also see God sneaking in another refreshing watering hole while you're walking through the wilderness here and there. And I see him pulling you by the hand at some points, and carrying you like a prized lamb at other places. Oddly enough, I see that in the year I've known you.

Something really different has been happening with John and me this last month. We get uncontrollable moments like this --


Really weird after so long getting the tough times. I see you as someone who will get the
in the not-too-distant future, and being all confused, (but happy), about that too. ;)

Fair? Yeah! God's got you well covered in the fair department. :)
 
Seekingfamily

Seekingfamily

Senior Member
#38
Jun 20, 2017
395
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#38
What about what happened to Job? Was not what happened to him a curse? Even though it happened because God was proving something to Satan.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#39
#39
Depleted said:
I think your life (so far) has been tough. I also see God sneaking in another refreshing watering hole while you're walking through the wilderness here and there. And I see him pulling you by the hand at some points, and carrying you like a prized lamb at other places. Oddly enough, I see that in the year I've known you.

Something really different has been happening with John and me this last month. We get uncontrollable moments like this --


Really weird after so long getting the tough times. I see you as someone who will get the
in the not-too-distant future, and being all confused, (but happy), about that too. ;)

Fair? Yeah! God's got you well covered in the fair department. :)
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Maybe. I don't know what I'm going to do...life seems to look up sometimes and it just ends up spiraling down to what seems like rock bottom. Of course, it can always be worse.... even with how scary that is to even think about...
And I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I don't know what I can do anymore. All I know is my life has been fair, I've made it through everything in my past, and God has a plan for everyone....
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#40
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,268
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#40
God is fair.

Life is not.

I'm not one to suck it up.. I whine and cry and curse. If you have the strength to suck it up, then more power to you.. but not everyone has that strength and only God knows a person's true pain. Something that seems silly or easy to one person might be extremely difficult for someone else. The best thing to do is to try and lift up those who are having trouble standing instead of pointing a finger and calling them weak!!


Why, then, do you judge your brother? Or why do you belittle your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.
(Romans 14:10)
 
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