"Life is unfair!"

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M

Miri

Guest
#61
Ps can we all at least agree, that the only thing we should be
sucking up around here, is one of these. :cool:

Suck it up isnt even a UK phase, I think it's American - you've all corrupted me!


 
D

Depleted

Guest
#62
hey :)

i was awake last night thinking about this, and haven't read further in the thread. (classic me :rolleyes:)

i don't think the OP was intended as a 'suck it up' kinda thing. i see it, rather, as a 'count your blessings' kinda thing.
be thankful God doesn't give us what we deserve.

there are times everyone needs to hear a suck it up message, though. i'm grateful to the Lord He put friends in my life to remind me of this need to Frozen something. (Let It Go. that's all i know about Frozen. lol)

of course people go through real pain. we need the Holy Spirit to help us know when it's best to tell someone we love to let something go, or perhaps at this point just be quiet and pass the tissues. it's moment by moment, case by case.
God is faithful to help us. He is faithful to prepare the heart of the person to whom we're speaking, too, as He was in my life so many times.

oh, and on a personal level, 1 Cor 13 makes me feel convicted, and a failure, because i KNOW i don't love like God does.
You scared me for a minute. I thought you knew Frozen more than I do. (I think we're even on our knowledge of that movie. lol)

I think pain is... well pain! When it first hits, there is an exclamation of surprise, then an expression of hurt, then the feeling when it is overwhelming. Smash your fingers in a car door, and you know better than to ever tell anyone else to "suck it up" right after they feel it.

But smash your fingers in a car door, and as overwhelming as that pain is at first, sooner or later we notice we can do something other than shouting out in the pain. Usually the first thing after OW is to check to see if anything is broken or are band aids (plasters) required. If someone is with you, they will have concern too. And when you seem to be able to function again, the person lowers their need to help. (I suspect most think everything is okay, so they dismiss it at that point.)

BUT that pain isn't really over yet. Even after you get over the overwhelming part, it still throbs. Personally, I'm the type of person who gives out hourly updates. (It's still throbbing. Oh, it's down to a throb here and there. Wow! Look at that bruise. etc.) So the pain continues often after we're able to move on.

That's merely smashing a finger in a door. Then there is long-term pain -- sciatica, sickness, old age, sickness and old age, Fibro, autoimmune disorders, epilepsy, cancer, heart disease, Muscular Dystrophy, a pinched nerve, and on and on it goes. (And I just listed the ones I know about from people who responded to this post.)

Sometimes, after we get past the initial reactions, it doesn't get better. It gets worse. In no way shape or form am I telling anyone to suck it up. I know better. I suck up very little. I puke it out instead.

BUT it's still fair, because God is fair and he uses everything that happens to us for our good and his glory.

I also think this may have become a rallying cry for those who have felt abandoned in their pain. I get it should be. We're Christians. Of all people, we should know about how much pain hurts, so we should think beyond well-it's-not-broken-so-get-over-it. Because pain is still pain even after the face no longer tells what level of pain the person is in. (I gave up making faces early on, simply because making faces doesn't help pain levels. Instead? I puke it out... as in I tell everyone how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.
:rolleyes:)

So, yup. 1 Cor. 13 is both a rallying cry and a lesson for what we cannot do on our own, so need God to do in us. Making it... more than fair.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#64
I think we have to agree to disagree. Not point to argue, though. We all have to handle our difficulties with emotionally and intellectually. I guess this the way I can find some sense in life. The main thing is we both have put our faith in Jesus, and one day we all get glorified bodies :)
I so look forward to glorified body though!
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#65
Ps can we all at least agree, that the only thing we should be
sucking up around here, is one of these. :cool:

Suck it up isnt even a UK phase, I think it's American - you've all corrupted me!


Alas, lactose intolerant AND diabetic, so we can't even agree here. On the other hand, if there is ice cream in glorified bodies, I'm with you on sucking that up! lol
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
337
83
#66
I only find life to be unfair when I don't get what I want. :)
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#67
It kills me that everyone is saying how much they hate it when people tell brothers in trouble to suck it up. Saying how much you hate that strikes me as irrelevant, since no one used that mindset until you brought it up.
 
May 5, 2017
39
3
0
#68
Also if we didn't have trials in life, besides growing in God, we wouldn't be able to appreciate what we have
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,939
113
#69
Interesting post and responses!

When I grew up, the rule of thumb was, "Life is fair!" Or shall I say, "Life MUST be fair!" By that, I mean everyone was equal, everyone got the same things, and if you were good and tried hard, everyone would get the same reward. Of course, that was a life without God.

When I raised my kids, if they dared say, "That's not fair!" Well, they would get back " Life's not fair," from me, and do without the piece of pie, that might have been a mm smaller in the first place. It was a good child raising strategy! My kids didn't fight over who got the most or the best. We were able to encourage their different strengths, and remediate their weaknesses, because they knew that nothing was equal or the same in life.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I think Lynn was saying the same thing! Because, no matter what our lot in life, it was given to us by God. And God is perfect! Logically speaking, someone perfect would have to be fair. God knows what he us about.

But too many people, which I really think comes out of the media and our godless educational system, think that if we are all not perfectly equal in all things, then life isn't fair. And since God, or some false image of God, created our lives, then God must not be fair.

The whole philosophy of everyone getting and being the same is a human centred idea. Of course, there is a thread of truth. We should strive to help the poor and needy. It may not equalize the wealth, but at least make those who do not have money a bit more comfortable. We should visit the sick, and those in prison. Sometimes a drink of water makes all the difference.

We are all blessed with differences. Sometimes, those blessings look downright wonderful - health, wealth, family, friends, community, career, fame! Everyone wants those things! But sometimes, we see our lack in those areas that we have been robbed of a birthright, or we have been ripped off for what we deserve. Jealousy, bitterness and envy ensue, and suddenly, we are not just missing wealth, or fame, or a loving spouse, but we are angry because we have been deprived, while others haven't!

And who are we mad at, in the end? Well, it has to be God, who arranged it all.

So does the pot have the right to be mad at the potter! Never! The potter knows what he is about, and even more important, so does God!

But you say, "Yes, but you don't know what I've been through! So there!!"

Well, I think I saw traumatic childhood abuse in this thread - been there, done that! Or pain and disability! That's my name, don't wear it out! Or all the posts about marriage struggles? Well, I've had some issues in my marriage, as all marriages do. But no, I haven't been through some of the things many threads talk about. But guess what! Someone else has! I've never been really poor. But others can talk about their financial trials. And all the hurts and pain and longings and fears and anxieties. There is NO ONE who doesn't have some deep emotional issues, or at least questions arising out if things in their lives. NO ONE!

The point being, we are not alone! We all have some iron sharpening some iron in our lives, but also a friend to help us! But someone will say, "Haha! Got you! I'm completely and utterly alone, not a friend in the world, and that is not fair!" I'm sorry, exactly what are we, chopped meat?

God is fair, and we need to look first at the good things in our lives, and praise God for them. But we need to look at our own hurts, weaknesses and lacks, and try to figure out both how God is using those things to change us for his glory! I wouldn't call that sucking it up, but learning acceptance or learning to change things, if possible. And praise God for the bad, too!

I guess that is what severe Rheumatoid disease has taught me. First, everyone is hurting somehow. Second, how can I help change pain and misery into joy and help others? And third, and most important, that God is completely and utterly in control of all things, and that includes the fact that God is fair!
 

notmyown

Senior Member
May 26, 2016
4,586
1,047
113
#70
It kills me that everyone is saying how much they hate it when people tell brothers in trouble to suck it up. Saying how much you hate that strikes me as irrelevant, since no one used that mindset until you brought it up.

oh, c'mon, LT, suck it up. :p

♥ ♥ ♥
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#72
Interesting post and responses!

When I grew up, the rule of thumb was, "Life is fair!" Or shall I say, "Life MUST be fair!" By that, I mean everyone was equal, everyone got the same things, and if you were good and tried hard, everyone would get the same reward. Of course, that was a life without God.

When I raised my kids, if they dared say, "That's not fair!" Well, they would get back " Life's not fair," from me, and do without the piece of pie, that might have been a mm smaller in the first place. It was a good child raising strategy! My kids didn't fight over who got the most or the best. We were able to encourage their different strengths, and remediate their weaknesses, because they knew that nothing was equal or the same in life.

Correct me if I am wrong, but I think Lynn was saying the same thing! Because, no matter what our lot in life, it was given to us by God. And God is perfect! Logically speaking, someone perfect would have to be fair. God knows what he us about.

But too many people, which I really think comes out of the media and our godless educational system, think that if we are all not perfectly equal in all things, then life isn't fair. And since God, or some false image of God, created our lives, then God must not be fair.

The whole philosophy of everyone getting and being the same is a human centred idea. Of course, there is a thread of truth. We should strive to help the poor and needy. It may not equalize the wealth, but at least make those who do not have money a bit more comfortable. We should visit the sick, and those in prison. Sometimes a drink of water makes all the difference.

We are all blessed with differences. Sometimes, those blessings look downright wonderful - health, wealth, family, friends, community, career, fame! Everyone wants those things! But sometimes, we see our lack in those areas that we have been robbed of a birthright, or we have been ripped off for what we deserve. Jealousy, bitterness and envy ensue, and suddenly, we are not just missing wealth, or fame, or a loving spouse, but we are angry because we have been deprived, while others haven't!

And who are we mad at, in the end? Well, it has to be God, who arranged it all.

So does the pot have the right to be mad at the potter! Never! The potter knows what he is about, and even more important, so does God!

But you say, "Yes, but you don't know what I've been through! So there!!"

Well, I think I saw traumatic childhood abuse in this thread - been there, done that! Or pain and disability! That's my name, don't wear it out! Or all the posts about marriage struggles? Well, I've had some issues in my marriage, as all marriages do. But no, I haven't been through some of the things many threads talk about. But guess what! Someone else has! I've never been really poor. But others can talk about their financial trials. And all the hurts and pain and longings and fears and anxieties. There is NO ONE who doesn't have some deep emotional issues, or at least questions arising out if things in their lives. NO ONE!

The point being, we are not alone! We all have some iron sharpening some iron in our lives, but also a friend to help us! But someone will say, "Haha! Got you! I'm completely and utterly alone, not a friend in the world, and that is not fair!" I'm sorry, exactly what are we, chopped meat?

God is fair, and we need to look first at the good things in our lives, and praise God for them. But we need to look at our own hurts, weaknesses and lacks, and try to figure out both how God is using those things to change us for his glory! I wouldn't call that sucking it up, but learning acceptance or learning to change things, if possible. And praise God for the bad, too!

I guess that is what severe Rheumatoid disease has taught me. First, everyone is hurting somehow. Second, how can I help change pain and misery into joy and help others? And third, and most important, that God is completely and utterly in control of all things, and that includes the fact that God is fair!
Yeah! That!!!

Two humorous things to add:
1. When we young and Mom made cake for dessert, it was usually the traditional two-layers, round variety. Three, then four, kids at the table. (Younger brother is 11 years younger, so I don't remember if he was up to arguing with the rest of us during this story.) And the cutting method for the cake was cut it into the middle, and then cut it sideways, so each child could have an "end piece" (where all the frosting was) eventually. So what do three/four kids do immediately? "I want the end piece" to that first end piece.

Dad doesn't like dessert. But Dad finally solved the arguing. Mom sliced the end piece while we all argued over who got it one night, and Dad swiped the plate and shoved the whole end piece into his mouth in one bite.
:eek:

All four of us dropped our jaws at this.

And 20 seconds later, we all cracked up laughing. (Two of the rules in the house were "Don't fight" and "Don't wolf down your food," so Dad being able to shove in the whole end piece with all that frosting around his mouth was hilarious.)

That was the last time we argued over who got the end piece.

2. What's wrong with chopped meat? I like ground turkey. That's fair too. lol
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#74
This thread simply reminded me of this: [h=1]Proverbs 30:8-9 (KJV)[/h][FONT=&quot]8 Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]9 Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.[/FONT]