how do you handle grief?
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G
My youngest sister passed away June 19, 2009. She was 27, and it was sudden. I know the death of loved ones is never easy, but it seems like it is more of a punch to the gut if it is sudden and unexpected. The main thing that helped me after she passed away was knowing that SHE isn't dead. As a matter of fact, she is more alive than I am! For a long time, I talked to her (not praying, just talking to her). I know that we are separated for a time, but will be reunited. Eternity is longer than earthly life. Sometimes, I tell people that we did not lose her, because we know where she is. I can not imagine what it is like to mourn a person who is unsaved. That would be almost unbearable.
One of the things that helped me cope right after her death were hymns, and reading the stories behind hymns. Many were born out of grief. Another thing that helped my mother and me that first Christmas was Operation Christmas Child. We had zero desire to celebrate, but it was lots of fun buying things and packing shoe boxes.
I would say that one of the biggest things that gives me comfort is there were no hard feelings between us, the night before she died we were joking around. That means something to me, and I hate to hear about people who are estranged from family members, because I believe they will regret it if their family members die before things can be put right.
One of the things that helped me cope right after her death were hymns, and reading the stories behind hymns. Many were born out of grief. Another thing that helped my mother and me that first Christmas was Operation Christmas Child. We had zero desire to celebrate, but it was lots of fun buying things and packing shoe boxes.
I would say that one of the biggest things that gives me comfort is there were no hard feelings between us, the night before she died we were joking around. That means something to me, and I hate to hear about people who are estranged from family members, because I believe they will regret it if their family members die before things can be put right.
Hi notmyown,I don't think I can offer any one thing in particular. It was time mostly. Carrying on with life and allowing God's comfort and presence to guide me - to continue on after a period of grief.
Now I smile when I think of those who have died in the Lord. A song may cause me to think of them, a book title, something I have that was theirs, hearing a teaching from a radio paster they use to listen to, steeping into B&N where we use to share a cappuccino or a frappe stuff like that.
And for those who died without the Lord, I carry on with hope that they might have cried out in the last moments of life and been saved right before they passed.
Now I smile when I think of those who have died in the Lord. A song may cause me to think of them, a book title, something I have that was theirs, hearing a teaching from a radio paster they use to listen to, steeping into B&N where we use to share a cappuccino or a frappe stuff like that.
And for those who died without the Lord, I carry on with hope that they might have cried out in the last moments of life and been saved right before they passed.
R
I know, when I am grieving, I immediately deny what happened, then when reality sets in I shut down and go into my room and cry. I know depending on the situation I have blamed God for them, but I am just hurting. After a couple days, I bury myself in work and chores once again denying what happened and I shut down again. I do this for about six months and slowly have to incorporate returning to normal.
I love you Ellie
❤
I love you Ellie
❤
For a chunk of time I assumed that ignoring it was the way to go.....then I realized how dumb that was because it was there and wasn't going away.
Now, I just let myself remember. One of the best things about life is still being able to remember even if we can't keep someone or something alive. I could sort of go on forever so I'll stop and just say that lol.
Now, I just let myself remember. One of the best things about life is still being able to remember even if we can't keep someone or something alive. I could sort of go on forever so I'll stop and just say that lol.
My very best friend on earth of 30 years, died suddenly a year ago this week. It has been hard for me. What has helped me is time and talking to the Lord. I don't know what else to say as I still miss her. We prayed together, cried together laughed and did ministry together. She was the one to help me with my walk when I became a new Christian.
I even started to call her once then quickly remembered that I couldn't.
She was a great friend to me and I am thankful to God that He gave me such a friend. I don't believe that their is a time limit on grief. I still shed a tear when I think of her. What has made me smile through it all is that she LOVED the Lord and lived for Him and I believe that she is with Him rejoicing.
Yeah this is tough.....as I've said I talk to God about how I am feeling and that has helped me ALOT.
I even started to call her once then quickly remembered that I couldn't.
She was a great friend to me and I am thankful to God that He gave me such a friend. I don't believe that their is a time limit on grief. I still shed a tear when I think of her. What has made me smile through it all is that she LOVED the Lord and lived for Him and I believe that she is with Him rejoicing.
Yeah this is tough.....as I've said I talk to God about how I am feeling and that has helped me ALOT.
D
When my husband was in the military, he lost a good friend of his, someone he'd known for a long time. They were very close and it was hard to watch him try and cope with that loss. He withdrew for a while and became distant. I gave him space, but still made myself available to him. Eventually, he started to talk about it and you could almost see the light come back into his eyes. He still misses his friend, everyday, so that feeling of loss is still there, but he says remembering the good times they had goes a long way in coping with the grief. And...just...remembering to live (as he puts it).
