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Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: Betrayal

  1. #1
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    Default Betrayal

    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    when you have done all you can do after praying for the problem to be resolved and there is nothing really more that you can do, you can shake the dust from your feet/ wash your hands of it, and let Gods will be done/ leave it in His hands and move on.
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Thank you ... beauty from ashes
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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    I agree. You've made a real effort to repair things. But since it's all been one sided no need to continue the way.
    oldethennew and Gods_girl2 like this.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Quote Originally Posted by Gods_girl2 View Post
    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
    I believe you are free to divorce him:

    “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." Matt 19:9 RSV

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    God wants you to get out of this mess and turn hubby over to Him. For over a year, hubby has done nothing but make a fool out of you.. It's time to break the enablement..
    oldethennew and Gods_girl2 like this.





    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."
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    LOL.. I'll use that defense the next time I get accused of something.. lol


    To read my cancer, depression, physical pain & suicide testimonies, go to the Blog tab in my profile.



  7. #7
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    My wife helped love me into the kingdom of God. She showed me His love without condemning me. It's the live of God that draws men. Fear is a poor persuader though the fear of God is a wise thing.

    You can by the word divorce this man. My wife of 50 years was married to such an unfaithful one and divorced him. She was blameless and not sinning in God's sight. So would you be.

    Without the word opinions mean little.
    1 Corinthians 7:10-17 NASB
    But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband [11] (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. [12] But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. [13] And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. [14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. [15] Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. [16] For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? [17] Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.
    Last edited by FrankLee; 2 Weeks Ago at 09:52 AM.
    mar09, oldethennew and Gods_girl2 like this.

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    Senior Member Dan_473's Avatar
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Quote Originally Posted by Gods_girl2 View Post
    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
    Yes, it's ok.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Jesus Loves you, and only wants the best for your, come hell or high-water -
    leave the old, deceiving 'trash' behind you and seek His Glorious Life that He
    wants you to live in Him...

    when we 'betray' our spouses, we are in reality, betraying Christ'...
    Last edited by oldethennew; 2 Weeks Ago at 07:41 PM.

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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Well you did what you could and you forgave him if he is still doing this then he is being sexually immoral which is grounds for divorce if that is what you want

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Quote Originally Posted by Gods_girl2 View Post
    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
    You've had a full year to study God's word and find out. Why are you asking strangers now? I can guarantee out of all the answer you will recieve, you'll get the answer you want. BUT you won't know what answer God gives you without taking the time to study and find out.
    Angela53510 and oldethennew like this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Betrayal

    "But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery"

    Your husband has committed sexual immorality and broken the covenant between you too. You can leave him if you choose.

    Forgive him in your heart but you are not bound to stay with him.

  13. #13
    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Quote Originally Posted by Gods_girl2 View Post
    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
    I would've walked away the minute you were betrayed by your husband's infidelity. A man that loves his wife does not even think about cheating on her let alone actually doing such a despicable thing. I'm sure that God would certainly understand if you were to walk away. Personally, I would run away. Biblically, you have grounds for ending this sham of a marriage. My advice is to immediately separate from your husband if possible and then consult a divorce attorney. There are others on this site in similar situations in this ultimate form of marital abuse so please know that you're not alone. I have prayed for God to give you clarity of thought on how to proceed and the means to do it. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
    oldethennew likes this.
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Lynn already covered this, but I will say it again. But f you want to know God's will in this matter, pick up the Bible and read it every day. Underline the parts that apply this time and/or write the verses in a book, or the back of your Bible if you have a place. Then you will know the answer from God's Word, instead of asking people who may give you contradictory advice.

    If you read 3 chapters of the OT and 1 of the NT every day, you will have read through the Bible in a year. You could be on your second time through. But that is ok, now is the time to start!

    Regardless of what happens in your marriage, your relationship with God has to be #1. Keep reading the Bible daily for the rest of your life, and God will bless you richly.

    PS If this happened to me, I would be gone. Of course, it has not, but the whole idea of taking back an adulterer, maybe a serial adulterer just disgusts me, But that is just me!
    tourist and oldethennew like this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

  15. #15
    Senior Member Dan58's Avatar
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    Quote Originally Posted by Gods_girl2 View Post
    It has been over a year my husband has been having affairs and lying . I continue to offer grace and forgiveness . What does God say about me being treated this way and is it ok for me to walk away?
    Your husband defiled your marriage when he cheated, so your not walking away from it, he did.. God does not forgive the unrepentant, and I don't think your obligated to do so either... There's a limit to God's patience, and after a year of enduring infidelity and lies, I think its time to put patience on a shelf and leave that uncommitted cheater.. Its enough already.. jmo

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    it all boils down to you allowing yourself to be walked-on in any way that you choose...

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    You need to protect yourself. You can offer grace and forgiveness however, God does not expect you to be his doormat and open yourself up to STDs.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Betrayal

    When I found out my ex-husband was having an affair I prayed diligently and literally never quit reading Scripture. I loved my husband, I hurt, and just wanted him to stop. I did not want a divorce. Then one-day G-d gave me a Scripture 1 Corin. 5:5 hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. I called the person who’s the best Christian I know, if anyone has a walk with Messiah that is close to perfect it would be her, and advised her of what I believed the Lord gave me and she confirmed she believed it was Him and not just me.
    It took me about a month or so after that because I have never threatened divorce before, I do not believe people should because once you go there where else do you have to go; so if you make the threat you better be able to back it up. I went to him and told him to stop having an affair, get Christian marriage counseling with me or I am getting a divorce. He told me get a divorce. The next day I went down and filed for and 1 mo. Latter we were divorced.

    I say all of that to say this. Yes, even Y-shua said we can divorce for adultery. But it does not make the pain go away. Only G-d will heal that pain and the pain of divorce on top of it. You will always feel like you must justify why you are divorced in the Christian community. It has always made me wonder, does the adulterer tell the truth and say they are divorced because they committed the adultery or what they say. I kind of feel sorry for them because of their shame… but this is a rabbit trail…lol… this I can promise you, G-d does heal the pain and makes us whole again. I wish G-d would have chosen to heal my marriage and change my ex-husband. He did not. Today I am very, very grateful I am a free woman and healed.

    I promise you G-d will direct you, run to Him. Who knows maybe G-d wants to heal your marriage

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