I feel I'm about to explode

[luvingnana]

I've tried to be fair, I've tried to be patient and understanding but when I see my grandkids run outside every time they see a bus pass by, hoping it's their dad, it rest hurts me and ticks me off at the same time , and then when he finally does come home, he has this look on his face like " don't bother me" and " I hate being here" . I've asked God for guidance as to what to do because because I do not like see g my grandkids and my daughter treated like they don't mean anything to him, but yet he wants to spend every moment he can with his new baby daughter and girlfriend. If i kick him out, my grandkids will probably hate me and hurt even more because they'll see they didn't mean enough to him to fix their family , but he had to start a new family and wants to give it his all. I feel I'm a fairly good person but when I see my grandkids hurt and therir father acting like he's me big stuff, I start to wish the worst for him , and I dislike that those bad thoughts come to mind. Seems like every time I try to be fair and understanding to make everyone happy, something happens to make it worse, I feel I'm getting pushed or tested, I feel something is trying to break me. Could it be Satan has a hand in all this, from the beginning I always thought so .

 

[RickyZ]

Your last sentence pretty much sums up the whole situation

 

[Tinkerbell725]

Maybe he is not aware of his behavior. Why don't you talk to him in a nice way about how his behavior is affecting your grand kids? He must know that it can be traumatic for the kids.

 

[luvingnana]

Maybe he is not aware of his behavior. Why don't you talk to him in a nice way about how his behavior is affecting your grand kids? He must know that it can be traumatic for the kids.

I have tried to but he's hard to talk to because he doesn't like to be told anything, he's a bully and he's like that with kids and females, if you speak your mind, he walks away, he likes to be in control and never have his be havoir questioned or he'll threaten to leave the kids . That's his thing, either deal with it or I'll just leave.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

I have tried to but he's hard to talk to because he doesn't like to be told anything, he's a bully and he's like that with kids and females, if you speak your mind, he walks away, he likes to be in control and never have his be havoir questioned or he'll threaten to leave the kids . That's his thing, either deal with it or I'll just leave.

People like that should live alone. They are toxic to others. He is not like that with his new family but maybe will eventually be like that when he gets tired of them.

 

[RickyZ]

Keep in mind that when considering what would Jesus do, breaking out the whips and trashing the place is on the list. You're not entirely wrong in wanting to put the hex on him. Consider:

Acts5:
1Now a man namedAnanias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2With his wife’sfull knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the restand put it at the apostles’ feet. 3Then Peter said,“Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied tothe Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received forthe land? 4Didn’t it belong toyou before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at yourdisposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just tohuman beings but to God.” 5When Ananias heardthis, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what hadhappened. 6Then some young mencame forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him. 7About three hourslater his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8Peter asked her,“Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?” “Yes,” she said,“that is the price.” 9Peter said to her,“How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of themen who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.”10At that moment shefell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding herdead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11Great fear seizedthe whole church and all who heard about these events.

Acts13
6They traveledthrough the whole island until they came to Paphos. There they met a Jewishsorcerer and false prophet named Bar-Jesus, 7who was anattendant of the proconsul, Sergius Paulus. The proconsul, anintelligent man, sent for Barnabas and Saul because he wanted to hear the wordof God. 8But Elymas thesorcerer (for that is what his name means) opposed them and tried to turn theproconsul from the faith. 9Then Saul, who wasalso called Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit, looked straight at Elymas andsaid, 10“You are a child ofthe devil and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kindsof deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of theLord? 11Now the hand of theLord is against you. You are going to be blind for a time, not even able to seethe light of the sun.” Immediately mist and darkness came over him, and hegroped about, seeking someone to lead him by the hand.

Matthew10:13
13If the home isdeserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14If anyone will notwelcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dustoff your feet.

Matthew18
And ifhe shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the Church: but if he neglect tohear the Church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Matthew21
18Early in themorning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19Seeing a fig treeby the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then hesaid to it, “May you never bear fruit again!”Immediately the tree withered. 20When the disciplessaw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” theyasked. 21Jesus replied,“Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do whatwas done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throwyourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.

Romans1
21For although theyknew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but theirthinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although theyclaimed to be wise, they became fools 23and exchanged theglory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being andbirds and animals and reptiles. 24Therefore God gavethem over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for thedegrading of their bodies with one another.

Galatians 1
8But even if we or anangel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you,let them be under God’s curse! 9As we have alreadysaid, so now I say again: If any body is preaching to you gospel other thanwhat you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!

1Corinthians 5:5
handthis man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit maybe saved on the day of the Lord.

Timothy1:20
Amongthem are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taughtnot to blaspheme.


God makes allowance for us to speak a 'curse' (certainly not the right word but you get the idea) upon someone for shortchanging their responsibilities towards Him. Make him aware of what God says about what he's doing ... don't sit him down and quote chapter and verse, but in a situation where he disappoints his kids tell him nonchalantly "God says you're not supposed to torment your children". This page can give you some ammo for that https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Parents-Duty-To-Children. And pray for him, as I know you are. After a reasonable amount of time if he still rejects correction, which he will, drop the hammer on him. "You know, in Jesus Name, since you tormented your kids again by missing their play day may you be so tormented by missing an important meeting". You don't have to be all hocus pokus about it, just say it as a part of normal conversation with the faith in your heart that, Paul told people to drop dead, and they did. Jesus told a tree to die, and it did. Then He said what He did we will do, and more. So don't be afraid to break out the whip; attempt spiritual correction until he is in a place of accountability towards God, and if his accounting is lacking then hold him accountable in The Spirit. Nothing gets people's attention like a plague of frogs

 

[Magenta]

My heart breaks for you, your daughter, and your grandchildren every time I read about what you are going through as the result of the actions of your grandchildren's father. Since he is already belligerent and unmoved as to the fate of his previous offspring in the face of his new relationship, attempting to sway him to any other outcome does not seem a feasible possibility. Your deep concern for your grandchildren must remain uppermost in your dealings with him. In his present state of heart and mind, it cannot be pleasant for anyone when he comes to visit his children. For their sake, as long as there is no abuse from him, I would give him the time and space he needs to fulfill what he perceives to be his duty to them. Hopefully he will come to see them as more than just an unwanted responsibility, requiring time and attention he must give against his will. Children are one of our greatest blessings. I will pray for all of you. God bless you.

 

[FrankLee]

If you can pray in the spirit do so. Bear down in prayer in the spirit. Asking God to convict this man and bring him to the cross. For conviction and salvation for him. His salvation is all that will change things for good.

 

[Huckleberry]

Obviously you love your grandchildren and want what's best for them,
however none of it's your problem unless you make it your problem.
Enabling bad behavior is bad behavior.

 

[Depleted]

I've tried to be fair, I've tried to be patient and understanding but when I see my grandkids run outside every time they see a bus pass by, hoping it's their dad, it rest hurts me and ticks me off at the same time , and then when he finally does come home, he has this look on his face like " don't bother me" and " I hate being here" . I've asked God for guidance as to what to do because because I do not like see g my grandkids and my daughter treated like they don't mean anything to him, but yet he wants to spend every moment he can with his new baby daughter and girlfriend. If i kick him out, my grandkids will probably hate me and hurt even more because they'll see they didn't mean enough to him to fix their family , but he had to start a new family and wants to give it his all. I feel I'm a fairly good person but when I see my grandkids hurt and therir father acting like he's me big stuff, I start to wish the worst for him , and I dislike that those bad thoughts come to mind. Seems like every time I try to be fair and understanding to make everyone happy, something happens to make it worse, I feel I'm getting pushed or tested, I feel something is trying to break me. Could it be Satan has a hand in all this, from the beginning I always thought so .

I really don't see gossiping about your SIL once a week to a bunch of strangers and not coming back once you unload as fair, godly, or morally acceptable. Yes, it's quite likely Satan has a hand in it though.

 

[luvingnana]

I really don't see gossiping about your SIL once a week to a bunch of strangers and not coming back once you unload as fair, godly, or morally acceptable. Yes, it's quite likely Satan has a hand in it though.

Once I post my " Gossiping" I always come back once I get notified that a got a reply (as I did right now) do i respond to all my replies? No, but I pray or listen to everyone's advice as it helps alot. I also come back to read others prayer requests and pray for them. If my posts bother or bore you, I'm sure you have free will to not read them or respond to them right? right

 

[Depleted]

Once I post my " Gossiping" I always come back once I get notified that a got a reply (as I did right now) do i respond to all my replies? No, but I pray or listen to everyone's advice as it helps alot. I also come back to read others prayer requests and pray for them. If my posts bother or bore you, I'm sure you have free will to not read them or respond to them right? right

How to dismiss sinning: 101.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Could it be Satan has a hand in all this, from the beginning I always thought so.

No doubt Satan has a hand in this. On a more practical level, if your grandchildren are old enough, it is time to get REAL HONEST with them.

Which means sitting down with your daughter and her children and telling them honestly and frankly that they are not loved by their grandfather. That will hurt, and the truth often hurts, but it is better than living in a fantasy world.

After that you can ask them whether you should ensure that he stays away altogether, instead of causing stress and strain from unrealistic expectations about his attitude and behavior. Then commit him to God and move on with your lives.

 

[Angela53510]

Is this your husband or your daughter's husband? In either case, if he has moved on, why on earth would you let him come back and live with you??

He has made his choice for a new family. He doesn't get to come back, have his cake and eat it too! The Bible condemns men who go back to their first wife, after moving onto a second. Kick this guy to the curb, explain to the grandkids about this man having someone else.

In time,they will stop looking for the bus to drop him off, and get back to living.