-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A
Hmmm . . . this showed up in my Facebook feed just a few minutes ago . . .
Can Divorced People Remarry?
Posted on January 14, 2015 by Paul Ellis // 194 Comments
Hmm, that’s a tough one. Let me see. Can sinners be forgiven? Can runaways come home? Can crooks get a second chance? Can the broken be made whole?
No, it’s not a tough question. It’s an easy question. Of course divorced people can remarry! These questions are only tough because religion has told us that divorced people are unforgiveable sinners. They’re lepers who blight our perfect little churches. As long as they sit quietly and help with our programs, they are welcome. But the moment they start looking for love, they’ve crossed the line. They had their shot at love and they messed up.
What a graceless thing to say! I cannot imagine anything further from the heart of Christ than telling someone they cannot experience love, that they are bound by the mistakes of their past and they have no future.
The two Pharisees
There are two sour-faced Pharisees stalking the modern church. The first one is called Against Divorce and the second is called Against Remarriage. The first one loves to quote 1 Corinthians 7:27 and the second quotes 1 Corinthians 7:11. Let’s look at each scripture in turn:
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. (1 Cor 7:27a)
This is a healthy exhortation because divorce is destructive. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) because it hurts his kids. Your loving Father doesn’t want to see you go through that pain.
But some have turned this exhortation into a law. “Thou shalt not get divorced!” Since the law inflames sin (Rom 7:5) this message is actually promoting divorce. Thus it hurts the church two ways; by stirring up sin and then condemning the sinner.
If you take these words as law, you must be consistent and preach the whole verse:
Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (1 Cor 7:27b)
If the first part is a law then so is the second. If divorced people are sinning, then so are those who get married. Obviously that is not what the apostle of grace is saying. He’s saying don’t seek a divorce. He’s saying divorce is not something to look for.
The hand grenade of divorce
Divorce is something to avoid, if you can. In our marriage, Camilla and I decided years ago that we would never say the word divorce, not even in jest. (This is not a law for us, just a healthy choice. There are situations – abusive marriages, for instance – where it could be appropriate to use the word.) To say the word divorce during an argument is like pulling out a hand grenade. It escalates matters. Fear of the hand grenade will kill your marriage. How can you be open and honest about your differences when you fear your partner pulling the pin? Paul is saying keep the hand grenade out of your marriage. Don’t seek it. Look for Jesus instead.
But the fact is some people get divorced and sometimes for very legitimate reasons. What about them? Can they remarry? Enter the second Pharisee.
“Remarriage is a sin – the Bible is very clear about this. There can be no possibility of remarriage except to the original spouse.” And then they quote the verse that says a woman must not separate from her husband:
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:11)
Paul is preaching restoration, which is something we all hope for. If that which has been broken can be put back together, then wonderful. But what if it can’t? What if the man is a violent abuser? What if the other partner has remarried and now has 14 kids? What if there is zero chance of remarriage?
“Then it’s game over,” says the Pharisee. “If they marry another, they break the command and sin against God.”
Such a law-based message is at odds with the redemptive prospects of grace. “All things are lawful,” says Paul on two occasions, “But not everything is beneficial.” This isn’t about keeping the rules but whether your choices lead to life or death. It’s not good for anyone to be alone, but some people are not ready to get married. It’s not good to divorce, but some are literally dying in their marriages.
Divorced people are sometimes treated like second-class citizens. The message they hear is, “We will accept you for as long as you follow our rules of conduct.” Those who speak like this are far from the heart of God (see 1 John 4:8).
Religion vs reality
It boggles my mind how we treat some people in the church. A sinner gets saved and we embrace him as a brother. A pastor commits adultery and we work hard to restore him. The chief of sinners becomes an apostle and we go “Isn’t God amazing?” But apparently grace doesn’t extend to divorcees, for they must stay on probation for the rest of their lives.
“There’s a difference, Paul. The pastor and the sinner both repented and were forgiven. But the divorced person who marries another obviously didn’t repent, indeed, they are living in sin, and so they cannot be forgiven.”
So now we’re preaching conditional forgiveness? We’re telling people that Jesus won’t die for their sins unless they repent?! That’s the back to front. That’s the perverted message of DIY religion.
When Jesus went to the cross he carried the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2). No person and no sin were excluded from his sacrificial work. This is why we preach unconditional forgiveness. The punchline of the gospel is not “repent to be forgiven.” It’s “God loves you – repent and believe the good news!”
God’s love is not affected by your marital status
Whatever sins you have done were carried on the cross long before you did them. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make him love you less. If there is an unforgiveable sin, it is not divorce. (If you’re wondering about what Jesus had to say on the subject of divorce, see my next post.)
So to the married, I say this: do not seek a divorce and don’t treat grace as a license to sin. Only a fool would exchange heavenly treasure (marriage) for earthly junk (illicit intimacy).
And to the divorced, I say this: You are not an unforgiven sinner! God is for marriage and against divorce, but more than that he is for you. God justifies you, so don’t let the Pharisee condemn you (Rom 8:33-34). You are precious to your Father. He loves you and is pleased with you. Your marital status does not affect his great love for you one little bit.
Can you remarry? By the grace of God you can. Should you remarry? That depends. Ask your Father. He knows you better than you know yourself and he will lead you in the path of life. Maybe you will remarry, maybe you won’t. But with God on your side, you cannot lose (Rom 8:28).
That’s my two cents. Now I want to hear from you, especially if you are divorced. Have you experienced grace or ungrace in the church? I don’t want to turn this into a bitter thread, so please adopt a constructive tone. Give us your suggestions for how the church can do a better job of relating to divorced people.
Link to Paul Ellis' article and site: https://escapetoreality.org/2015/01/14/can-divorced-people-remarry/
-JGIG
Can Divorced People Remarry?
Posted on January 14, 2015 by Paul Ellis // 194 Comments
Hmm, that’s a tough one. Let me see. Can sinners be forgiven? Can runaways come home? Can crooks get a second chance? Can the broken be made whole?
No, it’s not a tough question. It’s an easy question. Of course divorced people can remarry! These questions are only tough because religion has told us that divorced people are unforgiveable sinners. They’re lepers who blight our perfect little churches. As long as they sit quietly and help with our programs, they are welcome. But the moment they start looking for love, they’ve crossed the line. They had their shot at love and they messed up.
What a graceless thing to say! I cannot imagine anything further from the heart of Christ than telling someone they cannot experience love, that they are bound by the mistakes of their past and they have no future.
The two Pharisees
There are two sour-faced Pharisees stalking the modern church. The first one is called Against Divorce and the second is called Against Remarriage. The first one loves to quote 1 Corinthians 7:27 and the second quotes 1 Corinthians 7:11. Let’s look at each scripture in turn:
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. (1 Cor 7:27a)
This is a healthy exhortation because divorce is destructive. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) because it hurts his kids. Your loving Father doesn’t want to see you go through that pain.
But some have turned this exhortation into a law. “Thou shalt not get divorced!” Since the law inflames sin (Rom 7:5) this message is actually promoting divorce. Thus it hurts the church two ways; by stirring up sin and then condemning the sinner.
If you take these words as law, you must be consistent and preach the whole verse:
Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. (1 Cor 7:27b)
If the first part is a law then so is the second. If divorced people are sinning, then so are those who get married. Obviously that is not what the apostle of grace is saying. He’s saying don’t seek a divorce. He’s saying divorce is not something to look for.
The hand grenade of divorce
Divorce is something to avoid, if you can. In our marriage, Camilla and I decided years ago that we would never say the word divorce, not even in jest. (This is not a law for us, just a healthy choice. There are situations – abusive marriages, for instance – where it could be appropriate to use the word.) To say the word divorce during an argument is like pulling out a hand grenade. It escalates matters. Fear of the hand grenade will kill your marriage. How can you be open and honest about your differences when you fear your partner pulling the pin? Paul is saying keep the hand grenade out of your marriage. Don’t seek it. Look for Jesus instead.
But the fact is some people get divorced and sometimes for very legitimate reasons. What about them? Can they remarry? Enter the second Pharisee.
“Remarriage is a sin – the Bible is very clear about this. There can be no possibility of remarriage except to the original spouse.” And then they quote the verse that says a woman must not separate from her husband:
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:11)
Paul is preaching restoration, which is something we all hope for. If that which has been broken can be put back together, then wonderful. But what if it can’t? What if the man is a violent abuser? What if the other partner has remarried and now has 14 kids? What if there is zero chance of remarriage?
“Then it’s game over,” says the Pharisee. “If they marry another, they break the command and sin against God.”
Such a law-based message is at odds with the redemptive prospects of grace. “All things are lawful,” says Paul on two occasions, “But not everything is beneficial.” This isn’t about keeping the rules but whether your choices lead to life or death. It’s not good for anyone to be alone, but some people are not ready to get married. It’s not good to divorce, but some are literally dying in their marriages.
Divorced people are sometimes treated like second-class citizens. The message they hear is, “We will accept you for as long as you follow our rules of conduct.” Those who speak like this are far from the heart of God (see 1 John 4:8).
Religion vs reality
It boggles my mind how we treat some people in the church. A sinner gets saved and we embrace him as a brother. A pastor commits adultery and we work hard to restore him. The chief of sinners becomes an apostle and we go “Isn’t God amazing?” But apparently grace doesn’t extend to divorcees, for they must stay on probation for the rest of their lives.
“There’s a difference, Paul. The pastor and the sinner both repented and were forgiven. But the divorced person who marries another obviously didn’t repent, indeed, they are living in sin, and so they cannot be forgiven.”
So now we’re preaching conditional forgiveness? We’re telling people that Jesus won’t die for their sins unless they repent?! That’s the back to front. That’s the perverted message of DIY religion.
When Jesus went to the cross he carried the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2). No person and no sin were excluded from his sacrificial work. This is why we preach unconditional forgiveness. The punchline of the gospel is not “repent to be forgiven.” It’s “God loves you – repent and believe the good news!”
God’s love is not affected by your marital status
Whatever sins you have done were carried on the cross long before you did them. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make him love you less. If there is an unforgiveable sin, it is not divorce. (If you’re wondering about what Jesus had to say on the subject of divorce, see my next post.)
So to the married, I say this: do not seek a divorce and don’t treat grace as a license to sin. Only a fool would exchange heavenly treasure (marriage) for earthly junk (illicit intimacy).
And to the divorced, I say this: You are not an unforgiven sinner! God is for marriage and against divorce, but more than that he is for you. God justifies you, so don’t let the Pharisee condemn you (Rom 8:33-34). You are precious to your Father. He loves you and is pleased with you. Your marital status does not affect his great love for you one little bit.
Can you remarry? By the grace of God you can. Should you remarry? That depends. Ask your Father. He knows you better than you know yourself and he will lead you in the path of life. Maybe you will remarry, maybe you won’t. But with God on your side, you cannot lose (Rom 8:28).
That’s my two cents. Now I want to hear from you, especially if you are divorced. Have you experienced grace or ungrace in the church? I don’t want to turn this into a bitter thread, so please adopt a constructive tone. Give us your suggestions for how the church can do a better job of relating to divorced people.
Link to Paul Ellis' article and site: https://escapetoreality.org/2015/01/14/can-divorced-people-remarry/
-JGIG
A
Ashley, it's nice to meet you!
What you are experiencing is called spiritual warfare.
You are forgiven the moment you repent and turn back to God. The world, your own flesh and the devil will try to get you to doubt that you truly are forgiven.
Don't let other men take your freedom and forgiveness from you. If God has forgiven and does not hold your sin against you, don't let other men condemn you for any past sins. They are trying to condemn you for something that GOD doesn't condemn you of.
It's spiritual warfare - when another, your own self or satan tries to condemn you still after you have repented and turned to God. He removes your sin from you as far as the east is from the west and remembers your sin no more. (You can look those verses up online
). So don't allow any man to take away your freedom and joy for the reason of any past sins. What God has called clean let no man call unclean.
What you are experiencing is called spiritual warfare.
You are forgiven the moment you repent and turn back to God. The world, your own flesh and the devil will try to get you to doubt that you truly are forgiven.
Don't let other men take your freedom and forgiveness from you. If God has forgiven and does not hold your sin against you, don't let other men condemn you for any past sins. They are trying to condemn you for something that GOD doesn't condemn you of.
It's spiritual warfare - when another, your own self or satan tries to condemn you still after you have repented and turned to God. He removes your sin from you as far as the east is from the west and remembers your sin no more. (You can look those verses up online
). So don't allow any man to take away your freedom and joy for the reason of any past sins. What God has called clean let no man call unclean.
A
If you will listen to the Holy Spirit, He will gently guide you...
And, I dare say at this point that -- as long as you know you are born-again in Christ -- you can relax, darlin' - and, allow your fear of ending up in hell to subside completely and entirely.
Before I get into this discussion, I would like to point out that any "legal" component of the issue of your situation will be concerned with 'divorce', not 'infidelity'. Infidelity can be forgiven within marriage without separation and / or divorce. There is no judgment against infidelity in the context of the 'remarriage' part of your concerns. Only 'divorce' has a part in that -- from the point-of-view of scripture. Lord willing, I will try to address this in a future post. In this post, I will address the "greater" issue that troubles you.
With regard to your question about inheriting-the-kingdom versus going-to-hell, in consideration of having committed adultery - you need not allow the facebook article to strike fear in you - as I hope you will see shortly...
I will attempt to explain why I believe the facebook article is in error. ( not having read it, no less )
I am assuming that the article to which you refer bases its discussion around 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
To understand the scope of these verses, you must consider the broader passage of chapters 5-7.
In this discussion, I will mostly focus on chapter 6.
1 Corinthians 6:
[SUP]1[/SUP] Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? [SUP]2[/SUP] Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? [SUP]3[/SUP] Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? [SUP]4[/SUP] If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. [SUP]5[/SUP] I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? [SUP]6[/SUP] But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. [SUP]7[/SUP] Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? [SUP]8[/SUP] Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. [SUP]9[/SUP] Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, [SUP]10[/SUP] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. [SUP]11[/SUP] And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. [SUP]12[/SUP] All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. [SUP]13[/SUP] Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. [SUP]14[/SUP] And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. [SUP]15[/SUP] Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. [SUP]16[/SUP] What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. [SUP]17[/SUP] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. [SUP]18[/SUP] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [SUP]19[/SUP] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [SUP]20[/SUP] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
In the context of chastisement of the members of the Corinthian church for even considering taking issues between members outside of the church, Paul makes a broad reference to the unbelievers ( verse 6 ) outside the church in verse 9. The 'unrighteous' in verse 9 are the unrepentant lost souls in the world. The list that follows is referring to them. It is not saying that "if you do any of these things even once in your life, you are going to hell and will not inherit the kingdom of God"; rather - in the context of the passage - it is talking about unrepentant souls who continue in the practice of those things listed without conscience.
Albeit only due to the work of Christ, all who are born-again are considered by God to be 'righteous'. The 'unrighteous' - "all the rest" - does not include the born-again - who are saved by grace unto righteousness.
This idea is reinforced in verses 11-12 by the indication that some were ( but, are no longer ) some of those things in the list before they were washed / sanctified / justified.
So -- can that list illustrate for us the things we ought not be? Sure. However, in the context of the passage - in the 'technicality' of the meaning - those things listed are not referring to born-again believers; rather, they are referring to unrepentant non-believers.
Therefore, no matter what you do concerning remarriage, you need not worry about ending up in hell. Rest easy. And, believe and trust in Almighty God and the Lord Jesus Christ:
1 John 5:
[SUP]13[/SUP] These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
And, I dare say at this point that -- as long as you know you are born-again in Christ -- you can relax, darlin' - and, allow your fear of ending up in hell to subside completely and entirely.
Before I get into this discussion, I would like to point out that any "legal" component of the issue of your situation will be concerned with 'divorce', not 'infidelity'. Infidelity can be forgiven within marriage without separation and / or divorce. There is no judgment against infidelity in the context of the 'remarriage' part of your concerns. Only 'divorce' has a part in that -- from the point-of-view of scripture. Lord willing, I will try to address this in a future post. In this post, I will address the "greater" issue that troubles you.
With regard to your question about inheriting-the-kingdom versus going-to-hell, in consideration of having committed adultery - you need not allow the facebook article to strike fear in you - as I hope you will see shortly...
I will attempt to explain why I believe the facebook article is in error. ( not having read it, no less
)I am assuming that the article to which you refer bases its discussion around 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.
To understand the scope of these verses, you must consider the broader passage of chapters 5-7.
In this discussion, I will mostly focus on chapter 6.
1 Corinthians 6:
[SUP]1[/SUP] Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? [SUP]2[/SUP] Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? [SUP]3[/SUP] Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? [SUP]4[/SUP] If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. [SUP]5[/SUP] I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? [SUP]6[/SUP] But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. [SUP]7[/SUP] Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? [SUP]8[/SUP] Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. [SUP]9[/SUP] Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, [SUP]10[/SUP] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. [SUP]11[/SUP] And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. [SUP]12[/SUP] All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. [SUP]13[/SUP] Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. [SUP]14[/SUP] And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. [SUP]15[/SUP] Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. [SUP]16[/SUP] What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. [SUP]17[/SUP] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. [SUP]18[/SUP] Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [SUP]19[/SUP] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [SUP]20[/SUP] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
In the context of chastisement of the members of the Corinthian church for even considering taking issues between members outside of the church, Paul makes a broad reference to the unbelievers ( verse 6 ) outside the church in verse 9. The 'unrighteous' in verse 9 are the unrepentant lost souls in the world. The list that follows is referring to them. It is not saying that "if you do any of these things even once in your life, you are going to hell and will not inherit the kingdom of God"; rather - in the context of the passage - it is talking about unrepentant souls who continue in the practice of those things listed without conscience.
Albeit only due to the work of Christ, all who are born-again are considered by God to be 'righteous'. The 'unrighteous' - "all the rest" - does not include the born-again - who are saved by grace unto righteousness.
This idea is reinforced in verses 11-12 by the indication that some were ( but, are no longer ) some of those things in the list before they were washed / sanctified / justified.
So -- can that list illustrate for us the things we ought not be? Sure. However, in the context of the passage - in the 'technicality' of the meaning - those things listed are not referring to born-again believers; rather, they are referring to unrepentant non-believers.
Therefore, no matter what you do concerning remarriage, you need not worry about ending up in hell. Rest easy. And, believe and trust in Almighty God and the Lord Jesus Christ:
1 John 5:
[SUP]13[/SUP] These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
When I feel condemned while reading that scripture thrown around, I always have another "voice" in my head that says "and such were some of you, but you were washed/sanctified/justified". I like to think that is the Holy Spirit helping me in rebuking the condemnation I'm feeling. It helps for a bit but I start overthinking it again.
Again, thank you greatly!!
After reading your post a couple of times, it seems you are stuck trying to interpret one isolated scripture, and can't seem to get past that. But God has good news for you. He forgives ALL sin, not just some. He is faithful and just to remove ALL our sin and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness. This is not a matter of divorce as it is a matter of sin, and God's mission is to seek and to save that which is lost, which encompasses ALL sinners.
When a person repents, and desire to become changed by the renewing of their mind, God provides the grace for them to do so. You can't go back and undo the past, but God will take you into the future with the promise of his grace to restore you back to Him. That's why the story of the prodigal son is so astounding and is an amazing demonstration of how far God is willng to go to restore someone.
When a person repents and becomes a believer, the old is past and all things become new. God promise to begin the process of sanctifying you and giving you hope for a future. However, if a person returns back to these activities, he is willfully rebelling and in willful defiance against God. That presents another whole topic.
I would like to strongly encourage you to seek out a pastor of a Bible believing church and get some godly counsel on this subject. I say a Bible believing church because there is such a broad base of churches out there all making attempts to interpret what God is saying, and unfortunately, many will alter the iterpretation to fit man's needs.
Perhaps How Should a Christian View Marriage and Divorce? | Focus on the Family will offer a good backdrop to your inquiries.
When a person repents, and desire to become changed by the renewing of their mind, God provides the grace for them to do so. You can't go back and undo the past, but God will take you into the future with the promise of his grace to restore you back to Him. That's why the story of the prodigal son is so astounding and is an amazing demonstration of how far God is willng to go to restore someone.
When a person repents and becomes a believer, the old is past and all things become new. God promise to begin the process of sanctifying you and giving you hope for a future. However, if a person returns back to these activities, he is willfully rebelling and in willful defiance against God. That presents another whole topic.
I would like to strongly encourage you to seek out a pastor of a Bible believing church and get some godly counsel on this subject. I say a Bible believing church because there is such a broad base of churches out there all making attempts to interpret what God is saying, and unfortunately, many will alter the iterpretation to fit man's needs.
Perhaps How Should a Christian View Marriage and Divorce? | Focus on the Family will offer a good backdrop to your inquiries.
Last edited:
D
The problem asking on here, you will get every kind of advice you can want, including the one you were hoping for, but in the end, aren't you just asking a bunch of strangers? You really don't know if we know anymore than you do. And truthfully, some of us know less than you do. (Don't assume because people are on a Christian site they are Christian, even if they think they are.)
So really, you do need to ask the right person. His name is Jehovah. The God the Bible is about. (The only God too, just so you know I'm not preaching another god.)
Now, asking is easy. Getting an answer that satisfies you, will take a bit of work. And, to add to this, you are new in the Lord, so you don't have gobs of Bible knowledge in your artillery yet.
I usually tell people needing to understand about marriage (and divorce, in this case), to do word studies on certain things. But you don't know yet how to do that, so I'll give you how to do that too.
The word studies include:
-- marriage.
-- divorce.
-- husband.
-- wife.
-- and look up examples of how marriages happened in the Bible. (Please note: Most of the examples are things we shouldn't do, but that's important for a couple of reasons -- you can figure out that on your own, so can start realizing inside you already is the moral ethics changed by the Lord and really notice that these were still men called "men after my own heart." So, yeah. Even the big name in the Bible screwed up in ways you wouldn't even conceive, and yet God still loved them and used them for good stuff. i.e. Life isn't over because we sin.)
So, how do you do this?
A head start is this chapter in Westminster's Confession of Faith -- Of Marriage and Divorce. And, yes, this is homework, so look up the verses and see them in context, to make sure it speaks to you.
Now, if you want to keep going, (and you probably do, unless you just happen to be saved in a reformed church and already believe everything they tell you -- which just so you know, rarely happens to anyone. I mean, I am reformed and it didn't happen to me that way, or to anyone I know. lol), you want to download eSword onto your computer to get a whole lot of Bibles and Bible aids at your finger tips. (I'm not selling eSword. Matter of fact, can't sell eSword because it's free, but check around. Not a one of us is going to tell you it's bad. One of the few places people trust online. And big bonus points because if you had to buy all the books you can receive for free, you could use that same money to put your daughter in a fancy kindergarten.) I think nowadays it downloads a fine reference library without needing to pick which books you want, but I'm not sure. I have an old version. Just make sure one of the books you download is Nave's Topical, because that book does go into these topics throughout the Bible.
And, yeah, that's a whole lot of work, but you've already done what you've done. Now what you really want to know is what is God's will for you. He can tell you. He will tell you. (I already know what he will tell you.) But all you're getting right now is three pages of who knows how many people thinking they're Dear Abby.
How about finding out from God himself?
So really, you do need to ask the right person. His name is Jehovah. The God the Bible is about. (The only God too, just so you know I'm not preaching another god.
)Now, asking is easy. Getting an answer that satisfies you, will take a bit of work. And, to add to this, you are new in the Lord, so you don't have gobs of Bible knowledge in your artillery yet.
I usually tell people needing to understand about marriage (and divorce, in this case), to do word studies on certain things. But you don't know yet how to do that, so I'll give you how to do that too.
The word studies include:
-- marriage.
-- divorce.
-- husband.
-- wife.
-- and look up examples of how marriages happened in the Bible. (Please note: Most of the examples are things we shouldn't do, but that's important for a couple of reasons -- you can figure out that on your own, so can start realizing inside you already is the moral ethics changed by the Lord and really notice that these were still men called "men after my own heart." So, yeah. Even the big name in the Bible screwed up in ways you wouldn't even conceive, and yet God still loved them and used them for good stuff. i.e. Life isn't over because we sin.)
So, how do you do this?
A head start is this chapter in Westminster's Confession of Faith -- Of Marriage and Divorce. And, yes, this is homework, so look up the verses and see them in context, to make sure it speaks to you.
Now, if you want to keep going, (and you probably do, unless you just happen to be saved in a reformed church and already believe everything they tell you -- which just so you know, rarely happens to anyone. I mean, I am reformed and it didn't happen to me that way, or to anyone I know. lol), you want to download eSword onto your computer to get a whole lot of Bibles and Bible aids at your finger tips. (I'm not selling eSword. Matter of fact, can't sell eSword because it's free, but check around. Not a one of us is going to tell you it's bad. One of the few places people trust online. And big bonus points because if you had to buy all the books you can receive for free, you could use that same money to put your daughter in a fancy kindergarten.
) I think nowadays it downloads a fine reference library without needing to pick which books you want, but I'm not sure. I have an old version. Just make sure one of the books you download is Nave's Topical, because that book does go into these topics throughout the Bible.And, yeah, that's a whole lot of work, but you've already done what you've done. Now what you really want to know is what is God's will for you. He can tell you. He will tell you. (I already know what he will tell you.) But all you're getting right now is three pages of who knows how many people thinking they're Dear Abby.
How about finding out from God himself?
I know you asked for Godly council, but I'll chime in anyway.
If you're trusting in Christ's sacrifice on the Cross to
atone for your sins, and only that, you will go to Heaven.
All your sins, past present and future, have been forgiven.
Accept that gift, and live your life as mercifully to others as God has been with you.
If you're trusting in Christ's sacrifice on the Cross to
atone for your sins, and only that, you will go to Heaven.
All your sins, past present and future, have been forgiven.
Accept that gift, and live your life as mercifully to others as God has been with you.
The young lady comes on here asking for Godly council and
gentle guidance, and you bash her over the head with this?
And how dare you tell someone their child isn't a blessing!
You are a vile, angry woman who has, or has had, depression/suicide
issues, and there's no way you should be offering anybody "Godly council".
You need counciling.
gentle guidance, and you bash her over the head with this?
And how dare you tell someone their child isn't a blessing!
You are a vile, angry woman who has, or has had, depression/suicide
issues, and there's no way you should be offering anybody "Godly council".
You need counciling.
She did ask to pardon her for being blunt. So do feel free to pardon her.
I would not trust man to give her sound counseling when you can resort to scripture for the Lord to minister to her.
Her response is obviously off the cuffs and not done in the spirit of meekness, but it is obvious that she cares because she just does not want to see her in a worse situation than she is already. So she is expressing her opinions based on fears rather than godly counsel of leaning on the Lord Jesus Christ to guide her in all things in according to His words.
She cares in her own way, albeit, harshly, mayhap in the spirit of motivating the sister to do as she says just to alleviate her fears for her.
In any event, I have done what she had asked when reading her post and pardoned her for being blunt. I hope ashley06 has too.
I would not trust man to give her sound counseling when you can resort to scripture for the Lord to minister to her.
Her response is obviously off the cuffs and not done in the spirit of meekness, but it is obvious that she cares because she just does not want to see her in a worse situation than she is already. So she is expressing her opinions based on fears rather than godly counsel of leaning on the Lord Jesus Christ to guide her in all things in according to His words.
She cares in her own way, albeit, harshly, mayhap in the spirit of motivating the sister to do as she says just to alleviate her fears for her.
In any event, I have done what she had asked when reading her post and pardoned her for being blunt. I hope ashley06 has too.