Chronic Adulterer...seeking Christian help!

[kaylagrl]

Three points.
1- No doubt peoples' childhoods profoundly affect their
adulthood, but at some point we have to own our life.
2- No doubt you're not a liberal, but you're using their pet excuses.
3- I threw no stones, merely stated the cause of the sin.
I've got a lot of sinning under my belt, so I can speak on it authoritatively.

1. Yes,we have to live our own lives but not every person matures at the same time or grasps the truth at the same time.

2. I dont know that libs have abuse as their pet excuse. Pretty sure that cuts across all parties and races.

3.We all have sinning under our belt and still stumble and fall if we're honest. Theres a verse that I cant pinpoint right now that says to "snatch them from the fire" I believe its in Jude. We don't agree with sin but we love the sinner.

 

[SunnyDay5]

Hello My Sister in Christ - It is so interesting to me that you have posted this because my husband has a very similar issue with flirting. He has said almost exactly what you said, that he likes the attention. He said it makes him feel good, it's fun, it's a rush, etc.

My first thought is to try and identify the exact moment the temptation strikes you and exactly how it makes you feel both emotionally and physically (does your heart race, maybe you have a giddy feeling....). Now really try to identify if it is because a man has given you attention? Is it the attention itself or the possibility of physical relations? Or is it just a boost of self-esteem? Super-analyze every aspect so you can better identify what need inside of yourself you are trying to fill.

The next step would be to see if you can find a different way to meet that need. If it is attention you need, maybe teach a class. If it is just for the rush and excitement maybe try skydiving or some activity with a touch of danger to it. If you have a particular desire you would like to try to spice up your marriage, talk about it with your husband. He may be more open to it than you realize and it may open a door that could strengthen your marriage overall while meeting your needs.

It seems to me that it would be better to try and understand the motivation behind your actions and find an acceptable way to meet whatever that need may be rather than just try to condemn yourself. God gave us a huge realm of emotions and needs, emotionally and physically. It is normal for us to feel temptation and important for us to understand why we have it and if there is a true underlying need for something in ourselves that is lacking.

The feelings and desires are God-given. It's what we do with them that makes them good or bad.

 

[kaylagrl]

Ummm

The spirit hears, what the eye doth see?

Ahh, there it is! Thats what I should have said.

 

[Solemateleft]

Hello My Sister in Christ - It is so interesting to me that you have posted this because my husband has a very similar issue with flirting. He has said almost exactly what you said, that he likes the attention. He said it makes him feel good, it's fun, it's a rush, etc.

My first thought is to try and identify the exact moment the temptation strikes you and exactly how it makes you feel both emotionally and physically (does your heart race, maybe you have a giddy feeling....). Now really try to identify if it is because a man has given you attention? Is it the attention itself or the possibility of physical relations? Or is it just a boost of self-esteem? Super-analyze every aspect so you can better identify what need inside of yourself you are trying to fill.

The next step would be to see if you can find a different way to meet that need. If it is attention you need, maybe teach a class. If it is just for the rush and excitement maybe try skydiving or some activity with a touch of danger to it. If you have a particular desire you would like to try to spice up your marriage, talk about it with your husband. He may be more open to it than you realize and it may open a door that could strengthen your marriage overall while meeting your needs.

It seems to me that it would be better to try and understand the motivation behind your actions and find an acceptable way to meet whatever that need may be rather than just try to condemn yourself. God gave us a huge realm of emotions and needs, emotionally and physically. It is normal for us to feel temptation and important for us to understand why we have it and if there is a true underlying need for something in ourselves that is lacking.

The feelings and desires are God-given. It's what we do with them that makes them good or bad.

Well said SunnyDay5...

 

[Wild]

Who has it out for who?
You're the one who keeps going full drama-queen about leaving this forum.
You even made a thread bidding us "good riddance".
What, are we supposed to beg you not to curse us with your imminent departure?
Get over yourself, narcissist.

Cute, you even went through the trouble of providing us with a link. Thank you kind sir. You are a blessing indeed.

 

[rja]

"but only you can make yourself an honorable wife and work on your character flaw." This is dead wrong scripturally! John 15 says that we can only bear fruit by abiding in Him. The Bible says that if we follow Him and continue in His teachings that the truth shall set us free. (I am still working on this, though.) We need to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (which, again, I need to do a better job of.) In 1 Cor., I believe, it says that the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but spiritual for the demolishing of strongholds. Jesus said the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Paul had trouble doing the good that he wanted to do, and even did the evil he didn't want to. It was the nature of sin in him, and he was not the one sinning! Rom. 6:22 But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Condemn not and you will not be condemned. We all need to make sure that we don't have a "beam" in our own eye so that we can see to take out the speck in our sister's eye. Those who are spiritual should gently help restore her in the power of the Spirit. The strongman needs to be bound, and then we can plunder his house. The OP should make sure that she then fills her mind with godly thoughts, so that more wicked demons don't come and make her last state worse than the first. The OP and I need to be filled with the Spirit of God so that we won't hunger/thirst again. (See the woman at the well in John chapt. 4, who had 5 husbands!) John 10 says that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy but that God came to give us abundant life. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Rob

 

[OneFaith]

Not sure if this is the right spot to put this, I apologize if it isn't.
Hello all, I am new here and look forward to meeting everyone. I'm 29 and have been married to my current husband for 3 years. I love him dearly and he is such a loving and patient husband and child of God. He should have left me several times over but continues to love me and try to help me overcome my struggle with adultery. My first marriage ended because of an affair, not because he wanted it to end, but because I did. Most of the time it is emotional adultery and flirtatious behavior, some adulterous thoughts, but there has been one physical one. And yes, my husband knows about all of this.

Every time I think I have gotten to where I can beat this, I fall right back down. I am so tired of hurting my husband, who absolutely does not deserve this and I feel deserves better than me (he says he knows what I could be and what God wants me to be). I don't WANT anyone but my husband, but I keep finding myself wanting the attention and fun of flirting. And no, my husband does not do anything to cause my behavior. He is a loving, attentive husband and ALWAYS puts me first, even before himself, in everything. This is within me. I don't necessarily want to have sex with these attractive guys, but I enjoy the attention. I always have, even as a young girl. (I had boyfriends in second grade. Don't know if that's abnormal or not). My last adulterous behavior was within this last week and my husband, still, wants to help me overcome this, bless his wonderful soul.

So, I have decided that I will not go anywhere without him. I will tell him of any thoughts and any behavior that may happen, as hard as it might be (I always feel like it will make it worse if I tell him). That's all well and good. But work is the trouble area. I have no plan of attack for there, and most of the time, that's where this sin has been hitting me! I know I get bored easily. I always have, in anything. I enjoy new, exciting, different.....and I know that that is part of my downfall, but I have no idea how to overcome it. My heart hurts, my soul is heavy...I know God has forgiven me, again, even though I absolutely DO NOT deserve it, but I am still depressed.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, I desperately need help. If anyone has experienced this or is experiencing this same thing, it would be great to hear from you.
Love in Christ

This is simply a matter of sin. You need to fear God more. This very day I was overwhelmed by my fear of God. But it helped me turn down sin. I am trying to lose weight, and though strongly tempted, I did not overeat today, because I'm a God-fearing woman. Let me copy and past what I wrote earlier to God. Maybe if you are more in my mindframe, maybe you'll turn sin down too.

[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Cast all my anxieties on You? Then I'll have to cast my entire self on You. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling? It is more than I can bear! My heart is faint within me. I can barely hold myself up to walk. I can hardly catch my breath. I question why you brought me into existence. Now I will always exist, exist with a heavy heart, whether in hell or in heaven, because great is the weight of my sin that caused Your Son to die.

How will I ever escape this truth? How will I ever relax again? Happy moments are denying what's real. The evil in the world is strong, and Your anger and wrath are strong. Who can stand? Just as Jesus sorrowed in the days of Noah, knowing that thousands of years later He would die on the cross, my sorrow is now, anticipating Your judgement of me when we meet. I know Christ didn't die for nothing. But woe how thin the line is between being saved and being destroyed.

Fear and trembling indeed. I am so fearful of loopholes and technicalities. I'm saved but can lose that salvation if I'm not careful. I'm Your servant, but some of Your genuine servants are cast out into outer darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. I weep and gnash my teeth now, marinated in complete fear of the upcoming judgment. It can be a thousand years, or a million years from now. Still I weep long before, as Christ in the days of Noah- long before His crucifixion. I sweat blood, my tears are tears of blood, spiritually, because fear has so consumed me.

How can we run and not grow weary, how can we fly as an eagle above the storm, when this monsterous reality is not hidden or denied? My days are numbered, my breaths are numbered, and will most certainly come to an end. If I am trying so hard to please You, and fear You ever so severely, almost to the point of death, what hope do those have who do not even try to obey You? I fear for them as well, because I also sin and am no greater by any means. My tears are like a waterfall that never stops inside my heart, though there be a smile on my face to mask the rain.

How shall I ever rest and relax again? "Come to Me all of you who carry a heavy load, and I will give you rest." You give me that rest by way of the cross, I'm so sorry. But I will take Your rest, Your spiritual Sabbath, and gasp in another breath and sigh of relief. For, as far as it depends on me, you did not die needlessly.

Please, grant to me the peace that surpasses understanding- that I can immerse myself in that instead of debilitating fear, so that I don't die from it- for it is more than I can bear. Please save me from the Father's upcoming wrath. Not just so I escape hell, but because if the miracle that You paid for with Your own life allows for me to not only be with God forever, but to be loved and accepted by Him forever, this is my deepest hope, and greatest dream.[/FONT][/FONT]

 

[mcubed]

What help do you want? Stop loving yourself more than G-d and your husband.

 

[Demi777]

(warning, sarcasm ahead)

So, you don't have a problem with adultery? Well, then.... that certainly frees you up to damn someone to hell that DOES have that fault.

We need someone that has no problem with gambling to come around and verbally beat you up, though....

That's the way it works, right?

I dont gamble and dont have a problem with alcohol...perhaps I should get started

 

[notuptome]

The OP made one post and left. Can someone spell troll?

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[hornetguy]

Well, at least she gave us something to talk about. And, she gave some of us a BIG target for all those rocks...

too bad she didn't stay around long enough for those people to get the bonfire with the large stake in the middle of it going. Now, THAT would have been some fun!

 

[notuptome]

Yeah if you would actually want to change then stay and listen to the replies. Perhaps just looking for waters to fish in.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[Depleted]

As far as me without sin goes: lemme give you a run down of some of my sinful behavior. I drink. I gamble on occasion (mostly NFL bets). I hurt peoples feelings when I call them out. No adultery though. Sorry to disappoint you all.

And you know what she has over you? A desire to change, a willingness to change, a willingness to ask for help to change. You see yourself as you're gift to God. God owes you!

So, yup -- the Lord will work with her on her sins, but not with you. Not as you are now.

You forgot your chief sin -- haughtiness.

 

[Depleted]

you two seem rather similar to me,it's no wonder you don't get along lol!

No, really? I don't get along with liars and haughty people.

 

[Depleted]

Couldn't be further from the truth. Don't even put that image in my head. I wouldn't touch her with a 1000 foot pole.

Good, because that pole would be jammed right up your....

 

[WineRose]

I wonder...what would the OP's face look like if she came back to see what she has unleashed upon here?

 

[Depleted]

Wondering what he considers old ...


fyi I traveled in ministry from the time I was 16 and always found myself the most comfortable with the "old people". I learned much from them about the world and about the word.I attend a church now with "old people" and I love them,wouldn't attend anywhere else,even though my husband and I are the youngest attending. If I were you I'd surround myself with old people,they are full of wisdom,they know how to endure,they know hardship. I'd much rather be with old people.

LOL That's funny. When I was your age we were in a church where I was the second oldest woman in the church. Of course, obviously, the young folks were teaching me for a couple of years before I even noticed they were "young folks." (Wouldn't have hit that moment if the teaching wasn't from Titus 2 that week. lol)

I trust people for maturity levels, not age. I just check age when immaturity hits.

On this site, I've met quite a few teens with maturity levels like they really should be much older than they are, and some of us should be much younger than we are, but what is it about some of the 20-something year olds boys, that think the world should be soaking in every word they say, and the older the person the more they should listen?

And it does always seem to be the 20-somethings, (although not all 20-somethings), boys. (Act like you're an adult in your 20s, and I won't call you a boy.) What did their 50-somethings parents teach these children that causes them to think so highly of themselves and so little of anyone else?

 

[Depleted]

The OP made one post and left. Can someone spell troll?

For the cause of Christ
Roger

No. Actually I smell -- "I needed help and got a lot of Dear Abby and hate instead. I'll keep looking for a place that helps."

Here's a quote you might like,
"The bible is a mirror not a magnifying glass
use it to examine yourself not others."

 

[Depleted]

Well, at least she gave us something to talk about. And, she gave some of us a BIG target for all those rocks...

too bad she didn't stay around long enough for those people to get the bonfire with the large stake in the middle of it going. Now, THAT would have been some fun!

Yeah, because we got all the way up to a 1000 foot stake.

 

[Depleted]

Yeah if you would actually want to change then stay and listen to the replies. Perhaps just looking for waters to fish in.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

I wish I knew you had a sense of humor, because at least I could laugh at that and you'd get why.