Idagirl I am sorry you feel hopeless and tired emotionally and physically. Has your husband ever attended AA or seen a Christian counselor? Does he know the Lord? The alcohol addiction is not the root of the problem, your husband is using alcohol to cope with things in his life. Jesus Christ offers us grace and forgiveness we are not perfect including your husband. He really needs help and support. Do you know any leaders at your church who can speak to him? Please know someone out here is praying for you and your family. Stay hopeful.