Recently seperated need advice

[kewi]

My Husband recently left me and I feel lost .
We have known each other for 12yrs together for 9 yrs married for only 1yr.
I snapped early hrs of morning which I shouldnt have done the following day I came home to a note saying its over and his wedding ring left on the bench.
We have had an amazing 9 yrs suffered some ups and downs as my husband was diagnosed with FMS and already had depression but we were doing all we could and staying positive.
Over the last 11mths its been hard for the both of us his depression and FMS got worse I suffered from post concussion sydrome and had a friend staying whom also suffered from health issues I was trying to do too much and I would snap sometimes for no reason .
My husband has been gone for 6wks during this time he has told me he feels I verbally abuse him by making appointments for his health I wasnt giving him a choice by picking up after him he felt I was treating him like a child by getting upset when he didnt go to family function I was trying to control him . these things he has said never entered my mind as I thought I was doing the right thing I know now I was overstepping . Had he of told me I would have stopped . I have admitted to him I was wrong and Im going to counselling .
we have seen each other a couple times small talk really . we had a nice day last week he told me I looked lovely and he said he had good time.
Then a couple of days later I sent a message asking if we could discuss and know his and my feelings finances house our pet he turned nasty saying hurtful things.
Then telling me I hurt his brain he doesnt want to hear from me Then hes messaging me a hour later .
One minute his nice then turns nasty .
Ive never seen this side of him before and dont know what to do .
I love him I want to work on mariage on our friendship hes my husband and bestfriend .
Looking for advice

 

[blue_ladybug]

What is FMS?

Hubby needs counseling..

 

[kewi]

Fibromyalgia syndrome

 

[Nehemiah6]

What is FMS?

Hubby needs counseling..

Looks like both husband and wife need counseling, but it has to go beyond the expected or usual, and address spiritual issues.

 

[EarnestQ]

If this being nice and turning nasty is something new with him, there may be something wrong with his brain. A person I know had similar problems. It turns out she had a brain tumor that was changing her personality. Once it was removed she slowly turned back into her old self.

There may be other causes of him changing this way. For instance, he could have a food sensitivity that sends his brain into an allergic reaction. He may be hypoglycemic and may function very poorly when his blood sugar is down. There are countless other possibilities. It may require research to finally track down the cause of his acting this way.

Regarding FMS, lately I've run across research indicating that transcranial direct current stimulation (TDCS) and Cranial electrotherapy stimulation (CES) show marked improvement in FMS patients. Search TDCS or CES and fibromyalgia.

 

[Dino246]

Welcome, Kewi,
Marital strife is no fun... I've been through it, and it didn't end well. Along the way I learned of a daily devotional from a Christian organization ministering specifically to those in marital strife and breakdown. It's called DivorceCare.org; you can sign up online. While it isn't a solution, it does offer relevant advice and biblical wisdom.

The difficult part about trying to repair a marriage is that you can really only work on yourself. Typically, by the time a couple separates physically, the likelihood of either taking advice (let alone biblical admonishment) from the other is very limited... if it was ever likely. In my case it wasn't.

You are not alone; Jesus knows your pain, and He is with you. Lean heavily on Him. This is also a time to lean on your family and your church. As long as they aren't hindering, welcome their help in any form. You don't necessarily need their advice, but do consider it prayerfully when given.

Put the marriage on the altar. Surrender it completely to Jesus and let Him sort it out. Ask Him to work on you; that really is the only way to guarantee the best outcome, whether the marriage is reconciled or not.

 

[kewi]

I prayer every day for strength guidence for both of us .
I pray that husband will return .
Thankyou all for your thoughts and prayers .
Its a hard time at the moment but I still have hope and Im keeping my faith.
Im trying to work on me to find me again.
Im here for my husband . I just have to have the patience and its ultimately his choice if he wants to be apart of our life.
Thank you all again

 

[kennethleehutch]

Kewi; I am sorry for your pain. Living in this world we face many problems that we were never really intended to face but sin has created a barrage of problems for us all. That being said marriage is a partnership that only ends in death. God never intended for marriage to end in divorce but the world gets in the way. As partners in a marriage (meaning one man and one woman) both are equal in the marriage with the exception that the man has the final say as God has put him as the head. So for a marriage to function properly both husband and wife need to understand the strengths and weaknesses of each other. With this being accomplished the stronger person in financial affairs should be in control of the finances. The person strongest in teaching the bible should teach the bible, etc... It is a partnership that should never expect anything in return for what you put into it. love in Ephesians 5:21 21 [FONT=&quot]Submit to one another[FONT=&quot][/FONT] out of reverence for Christ. Most people seem to forget this verse and start with 22. But 21 says that it is a mutual submission to each other.
1 Corinthians 13:[/FONT][FONT=&quot]4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. [/FONT]8 [FONT=&quot]Love never fails.
True love does not expect anything back in return for what you give. If you want your marriage to succeed then this is how you should view your marriage. Pray for your husband because only God can work in his heart. He sounds a little insecure and that may be because you earn more than he does and having depression only makes things seem bigger than they really are and harder to overcome. Love is the only way to break through and triumph. Pray against any spiritual attacks on your marriage and bind them in the name of Jesus. [/FONT]

 

[Alexaberdeen]

My heart goes out to you Kewi, my situation is very similar. After months of weeping, pleading, getting on my knees before God I see no sign of reconciliation....yet....I continue to leave it in God’s hands and pray daily for my wife’s heart to heal. I’ve learned that this is all we can do, leave it with God and continue meantime to be obedient to Him. I will pray for you, count on it!

 

[Warrior319]

Hello Kewi....
My husband who is a Vietnam vet... currently has various health issues... and also suffering from post concussion issues... I understand seeing another side...
I must say seek God first and foremost in all matters... always pray about what is said to you including what I am writing... ask for confirmation from Him if what is being "advised" is truly from Him...
A blessing for you and your husband... including family and generations to come:

May He who is in you greater than he who is in the world shine bright for all to see that you are indeed a child of the Most High God King of kings Lord of lords ... may He fill you with His presence right now as you read this so that you may know without a doubt that He is talking to you and not me.... may He make you to be the woman/ man that He so created you to be.... married to a husband/ wife of His choosing who beauty is beyond compare so that the two shall becomeone and bring forth Godly offspring... may He remove all strife from your household for as for you and your household will worship the Lord... that no weapons formed against you shall prosper.... if God be for you who shall be against... and if God be for you whom shall you fear... may He completely heal and restore you from top to bottom inside out... may He pour the blood of Jesus from the top of your head to the soles of your feet for Jesus bore all diseaes and illnesses.. may He give you wisdom, knowledge, and revelation that you may only hear His voice... may He bless you and keep you that you may dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever... this I do ask in the name of Jesus Amen Amen Amen