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Thread: Help with a GF

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    Default Help with a GF

    Hey all, I am new and joined to get some helpful advice. So as of recently I have became a believer too the point were my baptism is set for a week from today. But I️ was struggling with an issue. My girlfriend and I had some loving issues that cause her to move out of an apartment with her sister. So she needed a roommate and couldn’t find one so I, living with my parents out of college at the time, decided to move out and we got a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment together. Well everything was fine until my best friend had his father pass and he needed a place to stay so I opened my door for him. That then pushed my gf and I to the same bedroom and bed. We have talked to one another and idk what to do since it is very open about not laying with someone as a wife that is not.

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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Who needs TV when ya have CC?

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    Senior Member Magenta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Make your friend sleep on the couch, and reclaim your bedroom. You
    and your gf and are asking for trouble living together in the first place
    if you wish to remain celibate until you are officially married.


    Embrace the Grace and Rejoice in His Everlasting Mercy and Love

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    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by Jtjohnson View Post
    Hey all, I am new and joined to get some helpful advice. So as of recently I have became a believer too the point were my baptism is set for a week from today. But I️ was struggling with an issue. My girlfriend and I had some loving issues that cause her to move out of an apartment with her sister. So she needed a roommate and couldn’t find one so I, living with my parents out of college at the time, decided to move out and we got a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment together. Well everything was fine until my best friend had his father pass and he needed a place to stay so I opened my door for him. That then pushed my gf and I to the same bedroom and bed. We have talked to one another and idk what to do since it is very open about not laying with someone as a wife that is not.
    Simple. Explain the situation to your friend and sleep in his room, or sack out with a sleeping bag on the floor. Honestly, even living in the same apartment as your GF is asking for trouble if you ask me.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Senior Member Daylilies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by Jtjohnson View Post
    Well everything was fine until my best friend had his father pass and he needed a place to stay so I opened my door for him.
    It sounds like you have been a really supportive friend to your best guy friend, so think of this as a chance for him to return the favor by being supportive of you.

    I would talk to him and explain that you want him to feel comfortable staying with you, but need to change the sleeping arrangements to better align with your faith beliefs. Suggest that you sleep on the couch, or bring an air mattress into the room he is staying in and sleep there.
    You will also want to have an honest conversation about how long he will be staying with you and create a game-plan that will work from all three of you from there. It is important that all three of you have the same thoughts about how long this living arrangement will be.
    Best of luck!
    kaylagrl and Tinuviel like this.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    You can buy a cheap mattress on amazon for $70 or less, if you have student prime it's free shipping. Air mattress is even cheaper or a thrift store mattress.
    kaylagrl and oldethennew like this.

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    Senior Member Dino246's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    You can buy a cheap mattress on amazon for $70 or less, if you have student prime it's free shipping. Air mattress is even cheaper or a thrift store mattress.
    Generally good advice... but I couldn't recommend a thrift store mattress... unless it's fumigated, powerfully vacuumed, and steam-cleaned first. Seriously. You don't want to know why.

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    Senior Member Dan58's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    There's two quick remedies; 1, Get single beds, you don't need to share the same bed, temptation may win out in that situation. 2, With two bedrooms and 3 people, the girl shouldn't need to share her bedroom because you wanted to do your friend a favor. If you want to keep the relationship platonic, split the bedroom you previously occupied with 2 single beds.

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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    With 2 guys and 1 girl living in the same place, something bad is sure to happen. Make the friend sleep on the couch or floor, or better yet, ask him to stay somewhere else..



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Stop being a jack donkey.. :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie-T View Post
    Who needs TV when ya have CC?



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



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    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    With 2 guys and 1 girl living in the same place, something bad is sure to happen. Make the friend sleep on the couch or floor, or better yet, ask him to stay somewhere else..
    I agree. It is not his responsibility to take care of the father of his friend. This is sure to cause undue stress on the relationship. These kind of situations often turn into a semi-permanent arrangement. I know this from previous experience but never again.
    kaylagrl and oldethennew like this.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by Dino246 View Post
    Generally good advice... but I couldn't recommend a thrift store mattress... unless it's fumigated, powerfully vacuumed, and steam-cleaned first. Seriously. You don't want to know why.
    Dino246 and oldethennew like this.

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    Senior Member Huckleberry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by Jtjohnson View Post
    Hey all, I am new and joined to get some helpful advice. So as of recently I have became a believer too the point were my baptism is set for a week from today. But I️ was struggling with an issue. My girlfriend and I had some loving issues that cause her to move out of an apartment with her sister. So she needed a roommate and couldn’t find one so I, living with my parents out of college at the time, decided to move out and we got a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment together. Well everything was fine until my best friend had his father pass and he needed a place to stay so I opened my door for him. That then pushed my gf and I to the same bedroom and bed. We have talked to one another and idk what to do since it is very open about not laying with someone as a wife that is not.
    I would suggest get married as soon as possible.
    If she's not open to that, one of you should move out.
    If she is open to that, your friend should move out.
    kaylagrl, MarcR, Tinuviel and 1 others like this.

  14. #14
    pckts
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by Huckleberry View Post
    I would suggest get married as soon as possible.
    If she's not open to that, one of you should move out.
    If she is open to that, your friend should move out.
    Yeah helping someone out is good, but at a certain point you begin enabling them not to help themselves and start to take their problems on yourself.

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    Senior Member Prov910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Your best friend needs a place to crash for a while? Say, there's an empty bed at your parents' house. Just sayin...
    ================================================== ===========
    10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. Prov. 9:10

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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    Stop being a jack donkey.. :/
    Honestly, kind of agreeing with Willie this time. How does one become a new believer without first getting some idea of the basics -- the Ten Commandments -- to figure out why he needs to repent and be born again? And yet, getting an apartment together with GF and then "accidentally" ending up sleeping in the same bed with GF doesn't ring any bells that something might be amidst?

    If you're old enough to get an apartment, you ought to be old enough to figure out 2 + 2 will lead to 4. He could have bunked with best friend, and yet... never even thought of that.

    Seems to me this is either yet another person thinking he's saved because he walked to an altar and prayed, or another chain yanker.
    oldethennew likes this.
    Lynn

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    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    I agree. It is not his responsibility to take care of the father of his friend. This is sure to cause undue stress on the relationship. These kind of situations often turn into a semi-permanent arrangement. I know this from previous experience but never again.
    It wasn't his "responsibility" either to just-happen to go in on a two-bedroom apartment with his GF either. Common sense might have suggested helping her out with a single apartment until she could afford it, but GF/BF just-happens to go with a apartment together.

    I was born in the day time, but not yesterday.

    BTW, the third roommate is his best friend, not his best friend's Dad. Somehow best friend just-happened to need a place because his dad died. Getting more far fetched yet? Granted, I can see some of these things happening in succession, but not all of them. Not after just-getting this apartment with just-happens-to-be-GF. And considering he just-happened not to return to this urgent question, sincerity and need flew out the window.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Senior Member MichaelOwen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Well let's see, first off, the temptation is going to be real if you and your girlfriend are living together, which the best thing to do would be wait til you are married to truly move in together, but if you must, you did say you are getting a two bed two bathroom apartment. Barring nobody else is staying there, then i say get a bunk bed or yes, two single beds and keep them separate. That would be the best thing you could do, and continue to pray on it that the Holy Spirit will lead you in the right direction

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    Senior Member Huckleberry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    It is not his responsibility to take care of the father of his friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    Why is your best friend's father staying with you?
    What I got from the OP was that the friend's father died
    and the friend was, for whatever reason, left homeless.
    Magenta likes this.

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    Senior Member OneFaith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with a GF

    Elijah lived with a single woman and her son. It is not wrong to even sleep in the same bed when there’s no sex. But what is wrong is that you have a romantic relationship- which now makes the situation an appearance of evil. Fornication is evil, but so is the appearance of fornication. Because the Bible says that if something appears a certain way and bothers your brother’s conscience, not to do it for his sake. So you either have to go down to the courthouse and get married, or move out.



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