Please may we have prayers, my daughter and I are separated and she is falling prey to her Narcisstic mother. I raised my daughter from birth until 16 by myself. She at some point decided I was no good,but that is the nature of her disorder. They turn on the person they love the most. She decided that her mother was the good parent, her mother was never there for her. My daughter's memory is gone concerning good times we had, inspite hundreds of photos of us together, she knows its her in the photos but cant remember the events or situations. I miss her terribly. I understand she is ill and I understand God does things when he is ready,but Im starting to lose my mind over this, Im breaking and I dont know how Ill get through the holidays without my daughter, weve never missed one together. I know Im asking God for a lot,but I know he can help us. If you would please join me in praying for my daughter and I to reunite, and for me to be able to get her Psychiatric help, I would appreciate it. Her mother will not allow her to see a Psychiatrist, and my daughter needs one badly. Thank you, and Amen.
Daughter has Borderline Personality Disorder
- Thread starter Soc1
- Start date
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I have prayed for God to restore the mental health of your daughter and for this estrangement to end. I'm sure that this ordeal is hard for you. I went through something similar when my daughter was growing up as eventually she became brainwashed with the help of her mother and turned totally against me for a few years. I thank God that she eventually saw the light and our relationship was restored. I hope the same is true for you as well. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
Glorious Heavenly Father, I come before you on behalf of Soc1. He is in a very difficult place. I pray you would work in his life and give him peace and wisdom in this very difficult situation. I pray you would also work in his daughter's life and get her the help she needs - whether medicinal, or therapeutic or whatever.
Heavenly Father, please work a miracle in this situation and bring the daughter back into a loving relationship with her father.
I ask these things in the name of your Son, Messiah Jesus. Thank you.
Heavenly Father, please work a miracle in this situation and bring the daughter back into a loving relationship with her father.
I ask these things in the name of your Son, Messiah Jesus. Thank you.
Your daughter reuniting with her mother might not be a statement about *your* relationship with her. Perhaps she is trying to fill the void in her life caused by her mother's absence. It's quite possible that, after a few months, your daughter will see that life with her mother isn't what she expected. Or what she needs. In any case, is her mother caring for her in a responsible manner like a parent should? That might be the most important thing here.
Thoughts and prayers sent your way. Godspeed to you in your Christian endeavors and family life!
Thoughts and prayers sent your way. Godspeed to you in your Christian endeavors and family life!
First off thank you all for your prayers.
She and her mother had plenty of time to fill that void over 16 years to do so. My daughter did not have to turn on me to have one with her mother. Like I said her mother was never there for her. My daughter needs Psychiatric care and medicine, her mother isnt allowing it. To answer your question no she isnt caring for my daughter as a responsible parent should in the least. My daughter has lost about 15 LB. vastly underweight. She doesnt eat right, she needs Psychiatric care,none of this is happeneing under the mother's care.
She and her mother had plenty of time to fill that void over 16 years to do so. My daughter did not have to turn on me to have one with her mother. Like I said her mother was never there for her. My daughter needs Psychiatric care and medicine, her mother isnt allowing it. To answer your question no she isnt caring for my daughter as a responsible parent should in the least. My daughter has lost about 15 LB. vastly underweight. She doesnt eat right, she needs Psychiatric care,none of this is happeneing under the mother's care.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Have you spoken with a counselor, pastor or minister that can offer you wise and long-term, effective advise? I know you're seeking psychiatric help but a pastor or minister can give eternal answers. Don't fill your mind with guilt, condemnation, judgement or unforgiveness. It's poison! I'll pray and stand with you that your daughter will get the help she needs and will return to you as a loving daughter. God bless you both!
Rick,thank you.
I already have eternal answers given to me by God, my fate is sealed with God after I leave here. Im hoping for my daughter's mother to stop being self serving and agree to the Psychiatric care. I prayed long and hard to find someone that had the abilities to help my daughter. God found someone for me. I just have to get her there, mother says no. My baby is deteriorating and I need to stop that.
I already have eternal answers given to me by God, my fate is sealed with God after I leave here. Im hoping for my daughter's mother to stop being self serving and agree to the Psychiatric care. I prayed long and hard to find someone that had the abilities to help my daughter. God found someone for me. I just have to get her there, mother says no. My baby is deteriorating and I need to stop that.
She isnt of age and we have joint custody, she doesnt want my daughter to have help, she is quite content using my daughter as a pawn and enabling her. Its a shame too,because my daughter with help can become a tremendous asset to society and the world. She wont assert herself with her mother for some reason, I know she has been afraid of her for many years,but it seems that is forgotten and Im the bad guy, which is part of her disorder. The thing is I dont have peace and I know God is working for me and my daughter,but there are many obstacles in the way. The main one is her mother in addition to her disorder.
Sixteen is very young for a Borderline diagnosis. Was this given by a psychiatrist, or just a regular GP? And since she is not of age, and needs mental health treatment, to say nothing of losing weight, could you not report her to child protective services? It would probably mean losing joint custody, but since you do not have her anyway, at least you would be getting her help.
I'm also confused as to which medications she would be taking for Borderline. Because, personality disorders are not treatable by medication. Is there some kind of comorbid depression or anxiety, perhaps? Most people with those disorders choose to take medication, because it alleviates their distress. Or is her mother withholding the medications? Which again, would be grounds to report her to CPS.
Finally, do you know anything about the etiology of Personality Disorders? While there is thought to be as small genetic component, generally it is accepted the way the person was raised is responsible for the PD. Which, according to you, is you! I am also confused as to how Borderline results in forgetting memories? That sounds more like brain damage, from ECT, for example, or perhaps Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I work with the mentally ill, and I would love to hear your answers to these questions. Thanks!
I'm also confused as to which medications she would be taking for Borderline. Because, personality disorders are not treatable by medication. Is there some kind of comorbid depression or anxiety, perhaps? Most people with those disorders choose to take medication, because it alleviates their distress. Or is her mother withholding the medications? Which again, would be grounds to report her to CPS.
Finally, do you know anything about the etiology of Personality Disorders? While there is thought to be as small genetic component, generally it is accepted the way the person was raised is responsible for the PD. Which, according to you, is you! I am also confused as to how Borderline results in forgetting memories? That sounds more like brain damage, from ECT, for example, or perhaps Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I work with the mentally ill, and I would love to hear your answers to these questions. Thanks!
They are diagnosing much earlier these days.
please refrain from commenting on legalities here,Im well aware of what can be done, Please do not assume im undereducated in this matter or unaware.
There are many meds for comorbidty.
Please also refrain from your giving a diagnosis, you know little of the situation. I resent you pointing a finger at me, when it is you that isnt on top of current studies and anatomical causes. You are not up to date in the least. Please do not write me further. I found your post offensive and condescending.
God Bless
please refrain from commenting on legalities here,Im well aware of what can be done, Please do not assume im undereducated in this matter or unaware.
There are many meds for comorbidty.
Please also refrain from your giving a diagnosis, you know little of the situation. I resent you pointing a finger at me, when it is you that isnt on top of current studies and anatomical causes. You are not up to date in the least. Please do not write me further. I found your post offensive and condescending.
God Bless
This is not a good diagnosis however with proper therapy and some medications she can live a perfectly normal life... I say for right now just email her tell her you love her and are there for her.. Here is my situation my mother raised my daughter for most of her life then when my daughter finally got the chance to come around me with out the warden breathing down my neck she found out that my mother had lied to her so much about me and her father.. My mother purposely talked smack about me and my her father to our daughter. My daughter after seeing my mother lied to her for many years was very hurt and angry and she now is very confused and stuck between wanting to come back to live with me and staying with her grandmother. The manipulation was really and it hurt her badly... My point her is that your daughter has to be with her mother for a while to see what kind of person her mother is.. this may hurt you i understand but in a long run it is something she needs to do to eventually heal things in her life anyways.. Give her time text her tell her you support her and love her.. As hard as that may be sending her messages about her doing the worn going to her mothers or by some way making her feel like crap for going there will make matters worse....... Show her nothing but major support and love. Sooner or later she will find her way back to you. right now she is searching for the long lost love from her mother she is at that age... Once you give her time and all the support you can she will come around.
After she comes back around to you then slowly work on seeing if you can get her help.. In the meantime please watch videos on you tube or something on borderline personality and how to talk to people with this illness and what to do to try to convince them to get help... Most often though she will not get help until she is ready and realizes she can not control what is going on anymore... The other way she will or can get help is if you have her put on a 72 hour hold but you can only do that if she is a danger to herself or others.. I will pray for you that she returns soon. I have a feeling once she misses the daily things you all used to do and the attention you gave her she will come around.. Be prepared if the mother is evil like my mother she may try to fill your daughters head with a bunch of garbage.. So you may have damage control to do if she does come around..
Thank you, it is a good diagnosis however, Ive studied BPD extensively, have done youtube, read books and articles. She is starting to come around,but overcoming the "garbage " will be a long haul Im afraid.
Thank you for your prayers. i think she is missing much of the things that were done for her already,now I have to win back her trust, we had a good day today and I know God will help us because he sees all of what is going on. Thank you for your support. Im sorry you had to go through the situation that you did, you are in my prayers as well. She used to see her mother for what she is, when I became bad in my daughter's eyes her mother became the good one for some reason and all her bad was forgotten.
Thank you for your prayers. i think she is missing much of the things that were done for her already,now I have to win back her trust, we had a good day today and I know God will help us because he sees all of what is going on. Thank you for your support. Im sorry you had to go through the situation that you did, you are in my prayers as well. She used to see her mother for what she is, when I became bad in my daughter's eyes her mother became the good one for some reason and all her bad was forgotten.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
When we are obedient to God’s Word, we will have that “peace that surpasses all understanding.” Trying to make sense this difficult circumstance may cause you to feel even more anxiety and worry. Instead you may want to rest on His Word, the Bible. If you are not trusting in His Word, the issue with your daughter will become emotionally difficult; If you are not trusting in His Word you will miss His peace, instead you will be disheveled and even to the point of panic.
Philippians 4:6-7 says it best,
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
‘Be anxious for nothing,
[ your daughter means everything to you; yet we are not be anxious. ]
but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,
[read that part again, let it soak in. Remember, we are to trust, God already knows your situation completely but don’t overlook, ‘with thanksgiving’ you may want to look for things to be thankful; being thankful the situation is not more urgent]
let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’
[doing those things mentioned, will give you peace, even in this most difficult of situations]
2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that,
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Are we trusting in God and His Word?
Just as you desire to have a good strong relationship with your daughter, God desires us to have a good strong relationship with Him!
When we are obedient to God’s Word, we will have that “peace that surpasses all understanding.” Trying to make sense this difficult circumstance may cause you to feel even more anxiety and worry. Instead you may want to rest on His Word, the Bible. If you are not trusting in His Word, the issue with your daughter will become emotionally difficult; If you are not trusting in His Word you will miss His peace, instead you will be disheveled and even to the point of panic.
Philippians 4:6-7 says it best,
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
‘Be anxious for nothing,
[ your daughter means everything to you; yet we are not be anxious. ]
but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,
[read that part again, let it soak in. Remember, we are to trust, God already knows your situation completely but don’t overlook, ‘with thanksgiving’ you may want to look for things to be thankful; being thankful the situation is not more urgent]
let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’
[doing those things mentioned, will give you peace, even in this most difficult of situations]
2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that,
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Are we trusting in God and His Word?
Just as you desire to have a good strong relationship with your daughter, God desires us to have a good strong relationship with Him!
Yes, I agree, it is very hard not be anxious when our children are suffering...it is during those difficulties- when it seems that there is nothing we can do, that we turn to our Lord, Jesus. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 'If we confess our sin [that worry, that anxiousness] He is just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.'
God already knows all of our difficulties and anxieties; He already knows how our trouble will be resolved. Since God already knows, why confess. Amazing things happen when we confess- Remember God already knows our worry(He is all powerful, all knowing and all present) but He is waiting for us to tell Him. Why? Because as we confess our sins, that is, agree with Him that our way of thinking is wrong (worry or any other ungodliness), and His is correct- we will begin to draw closer to Him; we will become dependent on our Lord. That is His desire.
As we begin to have a deeper relationship with God and His Son Jesus, He will give us what we need (not what we want)- He will give us what we need. Even though our circumstances all around us, our world is falling apart- He will give us a peace that surpasses understanding. The worry will fade to peace.
Look what happened to Peter in Mathew 14:14-32
[FONT="]24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”[/FONT]
[FONT="]27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”[/FONT]
[FONT="]28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”[/FONT]
[FONT="]29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.[/FONT]
[FONT="]31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
Verse 30 says it clearly... Peter, like Jesus was walking on the water, but then Peter took his eyes off Jesus, immediately he noticed the wind and the waves. Peter should have kept his eyes on Jesus. When we take our eyes off Jesus; when we focus on our difficulties we too will sink, become overwhelmed; unsettled; worry and panic. We too must keep our eyes on Jesus![/FONT]
God already knows all of our difficulties and anxieties; He already knows how our trouble will be resolved. Since God already knows, why confess. Amazing things happen when we confess- Remember God already knows our worry(He is all powerful, all knowing and all present) but He is waiting for us to tell Him. Why? Because as we confess our sins, that is, agree with Him that our way of thinking is wrong (worry or any other ungodliness), and His is correct- we will begin to draw closer to Him; we will become dependent on our Lord. That is His desire.
As we begin to have a deeper relationship with God and His Son Jesus, He will give us what we need (not what we want)- He will give us what we need. Even though our circumstances all around us, our world is falling apart- He will give us a peace that surpasses understanding. The worry will fade to peace.
Look what happened to Peter in Mathew 14:14-32
[FONT="]24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”[/FONT]
[FONT="]27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”[/FONT]
[FONT="]28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”[/FONT]
[FONT="]29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.[/FONT]
[FONT="]31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”[/FONT]
[FONT="]32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.
Verse 30 says it clearly... Peter, like Jesus was walking on the water, but then Peter took his eyes off Jesus, immediately he noticed the wind and the waves. Peter should have kept his eyes on Jesus. When we take our eyes off Jesus; when we focus on our difficulties we too will sink, become overwhelmed; unsettled; worry and panic. We too must keep our eyes on Jesus![/FONT]
you are not alone. many of us have children about whom we try not to worry, yet the temptation is difficult.
mostly, you are not alone. though this situation is a sore trial, the Lord never leaves you. i say that because i so often need to hear it.
i have prayed for you and your daughter. please let me know if there's any other way in which i can serve you.
mostly, you are not alone. though this situation is a sore trial, the Lord never leaves you. i say that because i so often need to hear it.
i have prayed for you and your daughter. please let me know if there's any other way in which i can serve you.
Thank you, I know Im not alone but it feels like it. Ive been without my baby too long those few hour visits dont add up to much, although I treasure them dearly. When I see her I feel like a child on Christmas morning.
I think Ive learned much humility, and hope to do well in life, not financially mind you,just in being a better person and regaining my daughter's trust again.
This is beyond a sore trial, it has turned into a dark night of the soul. Thank you for your prayers.
I think Ive learned much humility, and hope to do well in life, not financially mind you,just in being a better person and regaining my daughter's trust again.
This is beyond a sore trial, it has turned into a dark night of the soul. Thank you for your prayers.