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Thread: Pregnancy and Worried

  1. #41
    Senior Member pckts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Susanna View Post
    Honey, he's gonna be a cheat and be runnin 'round like there was no tomorrow.

    Knocked you up and having the marriage stalled?

    Turn him loose.
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    Admittedly it's a long shot.
    Not that long.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
    Yes, I do, I have been married.
    AWV

  4. #44
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
    If you read her post, the guy is the one who wants to wait.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  5. #45
    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Oh we see those red flags.. they're waving fast -n- furious..


    What I don't understand is why people hop in the sack without using protection, thereby creating an oops baby in the process, which now has the misfortune to be born into messes like this.. :/


    Quote Originally Posted by Willie-T View Post
    Rational people should be seeing red flags all over the place if it has already taken six full months to merely make it to this point of fear and confusion.


    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."

    Quote Originally Posted by TruthTalk View Post

    I love "Orange Tabbies" , God created the world and then, "Orange Tabbies" .....

    Quote Originally Posted by joefizz View Post
    Imagine Blue Ladybug and an orange kitty army!!


    Go to my profile Blog tab to read my testimonies.






  6. #46
    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by theupsetone View Post
    Hello,
    I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
    The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

    My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

    What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
    Take out your emotions and feelings and look at this objectively.
    Well, you can commit yourself to the man you're about to marry and have a baby with.
    Or you can give in to the bossy, manipulations of your father. Likely not only trying to control you, but also the rest of your family. That way the baby can be raised without a father and the male role model he'll have is a control freak.

    Once you remove the emotion it's easy to see what the right decision is. It's just difficult to remove that emotion in the middle of everything.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

  7. #47
    Senior Member Willie-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
    There does NOT need to be any fancy wedding, period. They threw that out the window six months ago. Right now, any $ that might have been intended for a wedding needs to go to trying to salvage at least a year of financial survival with a new baby.
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    __________________________________________________ ________________________________________
    “True eloquence consists of saying all that is necessary, and only that which is .” François Duc De La Rochefoucauld (among others)
    I am the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus.

  8. #48
    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
    My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
    Susanna and pckts like this.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  9. #49
    Senior Member Magenta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    How much does a civil ceremony cost?

    The type of ceremony (religious or civil) has no bearing on the legal validity of the marriage.

    The married couple can have a marriage party/celebration after the baby is born.
    Tommy379 likes this.


    Embrace the Grace and Rejoice in His Everlasting Mercy and Love

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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
    It's a hard knock life...
    tourist likes this.
    AWV

  11. #51
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
    That's called a "stand up funeral."
    Susanna and tourist like this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  12. #52
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    You need to go re-read her original OP. The guy is the one digging his heels in.. She's just trying to figure out how to get it done with hardly any money.


    Quote Originally Posted by pckts View Post
    Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

    This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

    If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.


    Quote Originally Posted by pottersclay View Post
    Blue_ladybug is innocent, as we know in scripture " all people who like orange tabbies are innocent."

    Quote Originally Posted by TruthTalk View Post

    I love "Orange Tabbies" , God created the world and then, "Orange Tabbies" .....

    Quote Originally Posted by joefizz View Post
    Imagine Blue Ladybug and an orange kitty army!!


    Go to my profile Blog tab to read my testimonies.






  13. #53
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Magenta View Post
    How much does a civil ceremony cost?

    The type of ceremony (religious or civil) has no bearing on the legal validity of the marriage.

    The married couple can have a marriage party/celebration after the baby is born.
    It cost next to nothing.
    Willie-T and Magenta like this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  14. #54
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    It cost next to nothing.
    Sounds like a win-win


    Embrace the Grace and Rejoice in His Everlasting Mercy and Love

  15. #55
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    Oh we see those red flags.. they're waving fast -n- furious..


    What I don't understand is why people hop in the sack without using protection, thereby creating an oops baby in the process, which now has the misfortune to be born into messes like this.. :/
    It's the same thing that is wrong with the rest of our society..... God was stuffed into a bag somewhere years ago, hoping they wouldn't have to dig Him out to play magician for them.

    It's not cool to treat God like a second-rate, last-ditch, rescue card.
    Last edited by Willie-T; November 27th, 2017 at 05:58 PM.
    blue_ladybug and Tommy379 like this.
    __________________________________________________ ________________________________________
    “True eloquence consists of saying all that is necessary, and only that which is .” François Duc De La Rochefoucauld (among others)
    I am the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus.

  16. #56
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    That's called a "stand up funeral."
    More like 'dead man walking' but I'm picking up your vibes.
    Tommy379 likes this.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  17. #57
    Senior Member pckts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    If you read her post, the guy is the one who wants to wait.
    I read the post and never indicated she was the one who wanted to wait. She said the guy wants "us" to have a real wedding and to be able to pay for one, and the parents want it to be done quickly (probably at the courthouse).

    The two of them sound like they both want a real wedding, and the guy doesn't want to rush it because he can't pay for it now or wants to ensure he has that money to pay for the actual child when it's born and not a ceremony.

    She is under pressure from the parents and wants to satisfy them with a speedy marriage and her boyfriend and herself that want more than a courthouse ceremony.

    Personally I would just get the courthouse document because I hate formal ceremonies and formalities, but if I wanted to have a ceremony I certainly wouldn't let her father threaten me to do something else. I'm giving the guy the benefit of the doubt based on the information present, rather than think he has cold feet with the girl and wants to run around on her.
    tourist likes this.

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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    More like 'dead man walking' but I'm picking up your vibes.
    Like having the honeymoon at Huntsville...oh...I guess they don't allow those visits starting with a "C"...
    blue_ladybug and tourist like this.
    AWV

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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by theupsetone View Post
    Hello,
    I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
    The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

    My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

    What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
    When were you saved?

    The reason I ask is because I've learned what you want, what your BF wants, and what your dad wants, but no mention of what God wants.

    You're now asking strangers. What did God tell you?

    I get the frantic. I remember wanting to know (and not wanting to know) what to do if I were pregnant for three very long stressful weeks. But by the time I found out if I were pregnant, the Lord already calmed me down enough to know what to do about it. He did that... well, because he's God, but I haven't had quite the need to know as much as I needed to know that answer back then all that often. So he heard -- a lot -- from me in those three weeks. AND I was doing a lot of reading from his book to learn the answer.

    I know what you think, your BF thinks, and even your dad, but you missed the big one. What does God think you should do?
    SAS likes this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Senior Member pckts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pregnancy and Worried

    Quote Originally Posted by Willie-T View Post
    There does NOT need to be any fancy wedding, period. They threw that out the window six months ago. Right now, any $ that might have been intended for a wedding needs to go to trying to salvage at least a year of financial survival with a new baby.
    I agree completely, but these kids want a facebook wedding and to feel special. Going to the courthouse now will not prevent him from cheating, a divorce, or discount the per-marital relations, so I don't see the harm in letting them have there little ceremony when they feel they can afford it.

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