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Thread: Husband wants a divorce

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    Default Husband wants a divorce

    I have been married since March 18, 2015. My husband claims to love me but has been non-existant in the marriage. We have gone to marriage therapy, and he has gone to therapy on his own with two different therapists. He says he wants to make things work for us but refuses to do anything to help our marriage. I have given 100 % and more to keep us together and to improve our marriage but he has hasn't. He keeps saying he loves me and wants this to work but then he doesn't do anything. Today we watched a movie together and then he tried to get intimate and I said I really wanted to know what he would do to make this work: retreat, counseling, therapy? something? But his response was that he would rather just get divorced than try. I don't know what else to do. I feel that I have been going through mental abuse since we married.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    I dont know how. This is my first time using this

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    *edited for content*
    Last edited by AlaynaJ; November 28th, 2017 at 02:47 PM.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    This can be seen by anyone on the internet.

    Unwise to give out numbers..

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    thank you for the number.. I will be in contact with you.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Thank you, I appreciate that

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Do NOT contact TamaraAce. She is spamming the site with advertisements, which is against the rules and she knows it. Her character and intentions are questionable.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by TammaraAce View Post
    Who are you, you dont know me or my degrees. you're speaking about my intentions when this is what i do for a living you seem like you may want to look into my services. i reach out and people choose to accept my help or not i also do seminars which dont cost anything as far as sickening, for you to stalk me on every persons post im on is quite sickening and maybe you should check you're own intentions. God knows my heart and my intentions. seems like you're battling self esteem issues considering your screen name is 'ugly' you as a person is questionable, i mean we're all beautifully and wonderfully made. you have a blessed night! pray about it
    Gives the "you don't know me" shtick then proceeds to tell me about myself. Adding hypocrisy to the list of character traits i see.
    And I hardly doubt 3-4 posts is "stalking". So blow things out of proportion. More great traits of yours. Playing the victim as well. Interesting. And how does this make you feel? I'll give you my website and you can pay me to tell me all about it.
    For someone so educated and helpful you sure rile up easily and go on the attack quickly. Not traits I'd expect to find in a highly qualified web site owner/whatever degree you claim.

    Ok. I'm done with you. Your true colors and skills have shown. Bye helpful and educated.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

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    Senior Member blue_ladybug's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Posts 4 and 5 reported for containing personal phone numbers.



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    That woman doesnt get it does she...gaah
    blue_ladybug likes this.
    God bless you
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    Posts 4 and 5 reported for containing personal phone numbers.
    I previously responded to a message and thought that I was sending my number through a message. I immediately tried to delete my number when one of the other members made me aware that it was actually public but it did not allow me to delete it. Also, I sent a message to the site about the issue and requested my number be removed.

    This is my first time posting something on here. I am under a lot of distress and I now realize that the person I was speaking to is not someone affiliated with the site directly. I previously did not know this. I need help, guidence and prayer. This forum has turned out to be a very negative experience for me. I didn't realize my calling for help would have so many people arguing and fighting.
    blue_ladybug and blue_ladybug like this.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    It sounds as if your husband has become disillusioned about his marriage to you. Seeing how you don't have much time invested in this relationship you might want to consider a separation and give him the space that he needs to decide what's truly important in his life. It may not be you so be prepared to face that hard truth.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by RuizLM View Post
    I have been married since March 18, 2015. My husband claims to love me but has been non-existant in the marriage. We have gone to marriage therapy, and he has gone to therapy on his own with two different therapists. He says he wants to make things work for us but refuses to do anything to help our marriage. I have given 100 % and more to keep us together and to improve our marriage but he has hasn't. He keeps saying he loves me and wants this to work but then he doesn't do anything. Today we watched a movie together and then he tried to get intimate and I said I really wanted to know what he would do to make this work: retreat, counseling, therapy? something? But his response was that he would rather just get divorced than try. I don't know what else to do. I feel that I have been going through mental abuse since we married.
    Let me get this straight. HE has gone to marriage counseling with you. HE has also seen two marriage counselors without you. HE put the romantic moves on you after the movie, and YOU are the one who put the brakes on that.

    Want to tell me again how you give 100% and he gives nothing?
    PennEd, NotmebutHim and OneFaith like this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    He refused t
    o get help for our marriage, I begged him to please go to marriage therapy for our marriage. He did go with me and refused to do anything the therapist suggested. He was advised to go to therapy alone because it may be something he needed help with. It took me a year of begging him to please help us and go to therapy. He was mad and refused over and over again. Then he finally agreed to go. He went to maybe two sessions with the therapist and didn't agree to anything he suggested. Then he blamed the therapist for his in cooperation. He stared seeing another one and called and told me the therapist was giving him great advice. I was very happy. But he went three times and refused to go back and refused to even try to use the tools the therapist gave him. We talked about it and he said he just didn't do it and thats that. He put the romantic moves on me? My husband has a routine. He doesn't try, he is very mean and when he wants to feel like everything is okay he wants to have intimacy. One we have intimacy he is non existent. He comforts himself with intimacy and disregards me. I told him I wanted to move forward and make this work and what does he suggest to get our marriage back to being in a good place. I've said this for a long time now and he said he would rather get divorced then make an effort.

    I have been there for my husband 100%, on many different levels. I have tried everything and suggested everything. I've helped him wirh his career, I've helped financially, I've helped him emotionally and I've been there even when he has done things that a husband shouldn't do. He loves as a single man. He continues to say, he knows he is an a****** and he knows he is being stubborn and not trying and he is sorry. But there is no effort.
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by tourist View Post
    It sounds as if your husband has become disillusioned about his marriage to you. Seeing how you don't have much time invested in this relationship you might want to consider a separation and give him the space that he needs to decide what's truly important in his life. It may not be you so be prepared to face that hard truth.
    You're right. It's been a very short time that we have been married and we had only dated a year previously before marriage. He was amazing and wonderful and loving while we dated for a year. After our wedding he basically cut me off. I suggested a marriage retreat and for two summers he has promised but then became too busy. Then he suggested in December but cancelled any time for it last December and thus December there's nothing open for us. We went to church for the first time together this Sunday. I was hopeful but he didn't care and didn't participate and couldn't wait to leave. I feel so disappointed and I want to help us but it's easier to just give up for him than to do anything I am assuming
    tourist likes this.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by RuizLM View Post
    He refused t
    o get help for our marriage, I begged him to please go to marriage therapy for our marriage. He did go with me and refused to do anything the therapist suggested. He was advised to go to therapy alone because it may be something he needed help with. It took me a year of begging him to please help us and go to therapy. He was mad and refused over and over again. Then he finally agreed to go. He went to maybe two sessions with the therapist and didn't agree to anything he suggested. Then he blamed the therapist for his in cooperation. He stared seeing another one and called and told me the therapist was giving him great advice. I was very happy. But he went three times and refused to go back and refused to even try to use the tools the therapist gave him. We talked about it and he said he just didn't do it and thats that. He put the romantic moves on me? My husband has a routine. He doesn't try, he is very mean and when he wants to feel like everything is okay he wants to have intimacy. One we have intimacy he is non existent. He comforts himself with intimacy and disregards me. I told him I wanted to move forward and make this work and what does he suggest to get our marriage back to being in a good place. I've said this for a long time now and he said he would rather get divorced then make an effort.

    I have been there for my husband 100%, on many different levels. I have tried everything and suggested everything. I've helped him wirh his career, I've helped financially, I've helped him emotionally and I've been there even when he has done things that a husband shouldn't do. He loves as a single man. He continues to say, he knows he is an a****** and he knows he is being stubborn and not trying and he is sorry. But there is no effort.
    "He doesn't do anything, he refuses do to anything, he didn't do it, he doesn't try"

    This is so unspecific, it sounds like you don't know what he should do either, maybe he doesn't? Figure out what you need and what you want him to do, rather than sending him to a therapist for them to solve everything. Also ask him what you are doing wrong in the marriage and what he needs from you, rather than believing you are giving 100% (perfect).
    NotmebutHim likes this.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by RuizLM View Post
    He refused t
    o get help for our marriage, I begged him to please go to marriage therapy for our marriage. He did go with me and refused to do anything the therapist suggested. He was advised to go to therapy alone because it may be something he needed help with. It took me a year of begging him to please help us and go to therapy. He was mad and refused over and over again. Then he finally agreed to go. He went to maybe two sessions with the therapist and didn't agree to anything he suggested. Then he blamed the therapist for his in cooperation. He stared seeing another one and called and told me the therapist was giving him great advice. I was very happy. But he went three times and refused to go back and refused to even try to use the tools the therapist gave him. We talked about it and he said he just didn't do it and thats that. He put the romantic moves on me? My husband has a routine. He doesn't try, he is very mean and when he wants to feel like everything is okay he wants to have intimacy. One we have intimacy he is non existent. He comforts himself with intimacy and disregards me. I told him I wanted to move forward and make this work and what does he suggest to get our marriage back to being in a good place. I've said this for a long time now and he said he would rather get divorced then make an effort.

    I have been there for my husband 100%, on many different levels. I have tried everything and suggested everything. I've helped him wirh his career, I've helped financially, I've helped him emotionally and I've been there even when he has done things that a husband shouldn't do. He loves as a single man. He continues to say, he knows he is an a****** and he knows he is being stubborn and not trying and he is sorry. But there is no effort.
    Honest question. Why did you marry him? And "because I love him" is NOT an answer. I love chocolate, but I'm not marrying chocolate.

    So what was it about him that had you knowing "This is the guy I need to be with for the rest of my life"?
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    The user you gave your number to is a spam troll. I have sent a report to the mods requesting that the numbers be removed from your post... No one is fighting or arguing. Just be more careful next time, because anything posted here IS searchable with any search engine. If you need prayer, it's best to post a request in the prayer forum..

    Quote Originally Posted by RuizLM View Post
    I previously responded to a message and thought that I was sending my number through a message. I immediately tried to delete my number when one of the other members made me aware that it was actually public but it did not allow me to delete it. Also, I sent a message to the site about the issue and requested my number be removed.

    This is my first time posting something on here. I am under a lot of distress and I now realize that the person I was speaking to is not someone affiliated with the site directly. I previously did not know this. I need help, guidence and prayer. This forum has turned out to be a very negative experience for me. I didn't realize my calling for help would have so many people arguing and fighting.



    Blue ladybug, fearless leader of the orange kitty battalion! She loves orange tabbies and is innocent as decreed by Pottersclay who states that Scripture says that all people who love orange tabbies are innocent. Truthtalk says that God created the world, and then He created wonderful orange tabbies. Joefizz has elected blue ladybug as captain of the brave orange kitty ​army!



    Quote Originally Posted by kaylagrl View Post
    ​ Orange kitties approve



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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    The user you gave your number to is a spam troll. I have sent a report to the mods requesting that the numbers be removed from your post... No one is fighting or arguing. Just be more careful next time, because anything posted here IS searchable with any search engine. If you need prayer, it's best to post a request in the prayer forum..

    I have tried to do the same thing since yesterday. I requested to remove my number with no success. I appreciate the protection and the concern. I am learning.. Thank you!
    blue_ladybug likes this.

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    Default Re: Husband wants a divorce

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    Honest question. Why did you marry him? And "because I love him" is NOT an answer. I love chocolate, but I'm not marrying chocolate.

    So what was it about him that had you knowing "This is the guy I need to be with for the rest of my life"?

    You're right, I always say that love alone won't make this marriage work. I married my husband because we got along well for the first year and he was very kind. He was respectful and attentive. We reciprocated love to one another and we enjoyed each others company. At our age, we were not interested in playing games (at that time) and we had the same life goals (so he said) But then after we got married my husband completely withdrew from the marriage. We both have great careers and we both are busy as it was before the marriage but he seemed to distance himself from me and has been that way ever since.

    He tells me he loves me and he says he can't live without me but he does everything that is the opposite of that. I feel frustrated because I want this marriage to work out but it can't be one person always doing everything. It can't be one person taking on all the responsibilities of a marriage and the other completely in disregard. He admits that he hasn't made any effort and he says he knows he isn't acknowledging us as a married couple but even in saying it, he does nothing to help us improve. I can't do anything more, all of my efforts and suggestions have not worked and I can't force someone to do the right things. It has to be a desire and he has no desire to improve what we both failed at.

    I feel I was too giving all the time and I accepted his disregard because I wanted it to work so bad. But now I am just drowning in exhaustion from realizing that I am the only one in this marriage. I get nothing in return but broken promises and then acknowledgment that he has broken the promise and he doesn't deserve me or that I don't deserve that kind of treatment. He then will revert to intimacy as a means of comforting himself from his actions. If I have intimacy then it turns into him feeling everything is okay again and he moves on with his life. I am not saying no to him because I don't love him or desire him. I am saying no because I want more to our marriage then just excuses and intimacy that leads us back to where we started. - with more pain and unresolved issues.

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