Neighbor Problems. What would you do?

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Beez

Senior Member
Nov 27, 2017
463
83
28
#1
I have difficult neighbors. Just wondering what you would do -- if you would do anything.

What I know happened, in short form --

(1) They were very friendly when they moved in. But within a very short time, the woman (w) asked me to support her in a lawsuit against the previous owners. I declined, because I thought it frivolous, and I had no personal knowledge of what she said happened; furthermore, I didn't those neighbors would do what she said.

(2) She asked me if they could park one of their vehicles in front of our house sometimes. I said yes since our driveway gave us plenty room to park. We didn't use the area for about 1.5 yr, then we needed it. They were very unhappy with us.

(3) One time, I was working on the front yard, and they both came toward me. When I saw this, I felt very ashamed because I was thinking I had not talked to them about the L-RD. I greeted them, and they lit into me, saying that they didn't want to hear anything more about the L-RD, and a few other similar things, and I sat there wondering what I had said -- ever. I still don't know.

(4) couple years later, I noticed that their daughter no longer lived there. I was outside, as they headed toward their car. I, smiling, said, "So what's it like not having your daughter around anymore?" She went silent, and he lit into me, yelling that it was none of my business and to leave them alone, etc. I was shocked! I had no idea I'd said anything wrong.

So now, they have lived next to us for about 10 years. The only other communication we've had was once when I stopped by their house to ask if they were all right after some bitter weather.

Sitting here thinking about anything I may have done or said that could have been thought rude or not nice:
(1) When their daughter was younger, I stopped by the house a couple early Octobers and gave her little gifts (as I did for the children on the whole block), to explain that I don't do halloween, but that did not mean I didn't love and appreciate her.
(2) Also, when they first moved in, the lady once brought me cookies, and they were fabulous. I am a terrible cook, so I brought her chocolates I had bought. Maybe that was rude, but no one, who doesn't have to accept it, should be offered anything I cook or bake.
(3) I am not one to really get involved with my neighbors.

The lady has been in constant arthritic pain from childhood, and I know this must be horribly hard on her. The husband has an alcohol problem.

Oh, after writing this, I think all we can do is stay quiet and pray for them, but perhaps you have some ideas?
 
Nov 3, 2017
30
2
8
#2
I have difficult neighbors. Just wondering what you would do -- if you would do anything.

What I know happened, in short form --

(1) They were very friendly when they moved in. But within a very short time, the woman (w) asked me to support her in a lawsuit against the previous owners. I declined, because I thought it frivolous, and I had no personal knowledge of what she said happened; furthermore, I didn't those neighbors would do what she said.

(2) She asked me if they could park one of their vehicles in front of our house sometimes. I said yes since our driveway gave us plenty room to park. We didn't use the area for about 1.5 yr, then we needed it. They were very unhappy with us.

(3) One time, I was working in the front yard, and they both came toward me. When I saw this, I felt very ashamed because I was thinking I had not talked to them about the L-RD. I greeted them, and they lit into me, saying that they didn't want to hear anything more about the L-RD, and a few other similar things, and I sat there wondering what I had said -- ever. I still don't know.

(4) couple years later, I noticed that their daughter no longer lived there. I was outside, as they headed toward their car. I, smiling, said, "So what's it like not having your daughter around anymore?" She went silent, and he lit into me, yelling that it was none of my business and to leave them alone, etc. I was shocked! I had no idea I'd said anything wrong.

So now, they have lived next to us for about 10 years. The only other communication we've had was once when I stopped by their house to ask if they were all right after some bitter weather.

Sitting here thinking about anything I may have done or said that could have been thought rude or not nice:
(1) When their daughter was younger, I stopped by the house a couple early Octobers and gave her little gifts (as I did for the children on the whole block), to explain that I don't do halloween, but that did not mean I didn't love and appreciate her.
(2) Also, when they first moved in, the lady once brought me cookies, and they were fabulous. I am a terrible cook, so I brought her chocolates I had bought. Maybe that was rude, but no one, who doesn't have to accept it, should be offered anything I cook or bake.
(3) I am not one to really get involved with my neighbors.

The lady has been in constant arthritic pain from childhood, and I know this must be horribly hard on her. The husband has an alcohol problem.

Oh, after writing this, I think all we can do is stay quiet and pray for them, but perhaps you have some ideas?


I don't think you did anything wrong to them. If they disrespect you, still respect them even they don't deserve it. If they don't want to talk to you then leave it that way. Just Pray for them(Ezekiel 36:26) that's the best thing you can do and leave the circumstances to God. They do really need a help, but only God could soften and change their hearts. I believe you are a good neighbor and a friend. God bless you :)
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#3
I don't think you did anything wrong to them. If they disrespect you, still respect them even they don't deserve it. If they don't want to talk to you then leave it that way. Just Pray for them(Ezekiel 36:26) that's the best thing you can do and leave the circumstances to God. They do really need a help, but only God could soften and change their hearts. I believe you are a good neighbor and a friend. God bless you :)
I couldn't suggest a thing more than that.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
337
83
#4
Some people are just cranky and take things the wrong way.. I would just keep my distance and try not to engage them in friendly conversation.. They may have taken a couple of things the wrong way? But if they can't articulate what the problem was, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
Sounds to me like they are users and bitter about something. Perhaps entitled. Entitlement is not an uncommon attitude among people with serious health problems.
Since you don't do what they want and aren't afraid to tell tjem no, this is likely their biggest issue with you, from what's been given.
Distance is likely best, or they'll keep trying to pull you into their drama.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
21,228
6,526
113
#6
I believe from your ownwords you are doing what you are given to be able to do. You behave yourself in a good neighborly manner, and your solution is to continue so, and what you have already said, pray for them.

I know by experienceif they are truly intolerable, your only other avenue would be to move away, and that is a big decision.

I rreally am quite dumb founded by people' behavior these days. In place of a community spirit there is needless vying for community control, ruthless and selfish. Avoid these people at all costs, because it can cost in the end.

My prayers are for you and for your neighbors....


I have difficult neighbors. Just wondering what you would do -- if you would do anything.

What I know happened, in short form --

(1) They were very friendly when they moved in. But within a very short time, the woman (w) asked me to support her in a lawsuit against the previous owners. I declined, because I thought it frivolous, and I had no personal knowledge of what she said happened; furthermore, I didn't those neighbors would do what she said.

(2) She asked me if they could park one of their vehicles in front of our house sometimes. I said yes since our driveway gave us plenty room to park. We didn't use the area for about 1.5 yr, then we needed it. They were very unhappy with us.

(3) One time, I was working on the front yard, and they both came toward me. When I saw this, I felt very ashamed because I was thinking I had not talked to them about the L-RD. I greeted them, and they lit into me, saying that they didn't want to hear anything more about the L-RD, and a few other similar things, and I sat there wondering what I had said -- ever. I still don't know.

(4) couple years later, I noticed that their daughter no longer lived there. I was outside, as they headed toward their car. I, smiling, said, "So what's it like not having your daughter around anymore?" She went silent, and he lit into me, yelling that it was none of my business and to leave them alone, etc. I was shocked! I had no idea I'd said anything wrong.

So now, they have lived next to us for about 10 years. The only other communication we've had was once when I stopped by their house to ask if they were all right after some bitter weather.

Sitting here thinking about anything I may have done or said that could have been thought rude or not nice:
(1) When their daughter was younger, I stopped by the house a couple early Octobers and gave her little gifts (as I did for the children on the whole block), to explain that I don't do halloween, but that did not mean I didn't love and appreciate her.
(2) Also, when they first moved in, the lady once brought me cookies, and they were fabulous. I am a terrible cook, so I brought her chocolates I had bought. Maybe that was rude, but no one, who doesn't have to accept it, should be offered anything I cook or bake.
(3) I am not one to really get involved with my neighbors.

The lady has been in constant arthritic pain from childhood, and I know this must be horribly hard on her. The husband has an alcohol problem.

Oh, after writing this, I think all we can do is stay quiet and pray for them, but perhaps you have some ideas?
 

Beez

Senior Member
Nov 27, 2017
463
83
28
#7
Oh, I just remembered something. About 3 years ago, the husband was yelling and things were crashing. I seriously thought he was killing her and called the police. I don't think they know I called.

There was also a problem with our apple tree. They were upset that the tree was close enough to drop apples in their yard. (The apples were all right for apple sauce with lots of cinnamon, but not much more.) They asked us to cut it down. We said that two of the evergreens in their yard (that had recently grown from a seeds another neighbor's tree had dropped) were so close to our fence that they were starting to mess up our fence. We told them we would cut down apple tree if they would cut down the evergreens. They didn't. So a few months later, we merely cut the apple branches back so that they are only over our property. A couple years later, they cut down the evergreens by our fence. They have not brought up the apple tree again. They had taken so long to comply, and we did not think it was any longer necessary to cut it down.

And one thing more I remembered. There were sewer problems right after they moved in. We were all surprise that we both had the problems at the same time, but it was investigated, it was found that when they built our homes 110 years ago, that was totally legal to hook the lines together. Further, according to the law, it remains legal, because it is "grandfathered" in.

I think that is all . . . .
 
Last edited:

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
21,228
6,526
113
#8
Ny neighbor's shrubs come over into my property and shade where I have some of my garden. They asked if they should come over and cut the offending plants back. Because I like the shrubs I told him I would take care of any of his shrubs that over hanged or sent shoots over my property, but, he was to consider them as my property. Half in jest but not completely.

It is best to keep anything pruned back from the property of others even if they are not doing the same....

I could go into great deatail about the property I have lost because of the evil of people, but it is very involved......dealing with my protecting the building tenants from fang violence and threats of murder to all the tenants, only to be repaid once the problem was irradicated by yours truly (Jesus did it). My reward in the building was utter betrayal by all. I moved, and cannot sell the property due to the real estate crisis..........We can only pray for the people who do ot appreciate good neighbors. Since I moved the entire building has gone to pot. Oh, I used to repair things as best I could the front door, electrical work in the common areas.........to no avail in building some kind of community spriti......Praise God, He is worthy,amen.
 

mailmandan

Senior Member
Apr 7, 2014
25,032
13,039
113
58
#9
Some people are just cranky and take things the wrong way.. I would just keep my distance and try not to engage them in friendly conversation.. They may have taken a couple of things the wrong way? But if they can't articulate what the problem was, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
I have some next door neighbors who seemed very nice for a long time but then one day, the man who lived next door noticed a Nebraska Furniture Mart truck pulling up in front of my house and he asked me if I was getting new furniture. I told him we were getting new kitchen appliances. Then he practically started yelling and said, "I wish that I worked for the Post Office then I could afford new kitchen appliances!" Then afterwards, he walked away. :eek:

I found that very strange and he sounded very jealous. It turns out he had two mortgages and was struggling with debt. You never know what people are going through, which can cause such behavior. At first, I was offended and avoided him for a while, but now we say hi to each other and occasionally engage in brief conversation.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#10
OK Mail,

had to get out the Kleenex! GBY...
 
Apr 15, 2017
2,867
653
113
#11
I only have one problem with my neighbors,and it only occurred once.

I was playing a song in the house,and the neighbor's liked it so much that they threw a rock through the window so they could hear it better,but I figured that since they did not confess Christ,and it was a Christian song then I could forgive them,for their intentions were good.lol.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#12
we've got several 'neighbor-wars' going on at the same time in our area, - thankfully we have
enough property that they are not real close, but...some of them are really dear to us,
and others not so much, as their wickedness is escalating at a very rapid pace -
potentially inviting serious violence to occur - we've done what we can so far,
as led, but only hope and pray that our prayers will be answered for all concerned...

sometimes we feel so helpless, and beyond grieving, but we must always wait and act upon
our Saviour's guidance', else we will stumble-up on our own feet and hearts...

prayers needed here, B&S's...
 

Acarpenter

Junior Member
Nov 26, 2017
20
0
0
#13
Over the years I've had a few similar problems, with Christians and with non-Christians. I finally sought counsel because it just didn't sit well with me and it was clouding my conscience. As for me, I couldn't understand why some people can't be entreated. The advice I got was unexpected and very helpful: Pray for the persons to be personally blessed every day by God, for their problems to inexplicably dissolve, and to be drawn into a close walk with Him. Pray this on a schedule so you don't forget. Since God says fervent prayer is effective even if we don't see the outcome, you will know you are in God's will in this matter, and that you agape your neighbor as He commands. Be patient, keep it up, and I bet you and your neighbors will feel better about yourselves and about each other. "Father, build a bridge of friendship between these two peoples, as faint as that hope seems, and display to the world that Your love is mightier than the toughest rancor between neighbors." Bless them daily, with confident expectation.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#14
here is the crux',

we have just learned that those who are playing the victim', have now gone on to 'face' and have
totally 'lied' about the whole situation, ( I can say this in all honesty, because' we know 'both'
parties for generations, and what they have done and are continuing to do)...

we were told just about everything that they had said about our friends on FB, who are just trying
to live their lives and go about their own business/work/lives, and live a life of peace and harmony:
it would blow your minds, what their own relatives have done to them and continue to do,
every single day...(I used to be an avid reader, sometimes reading (3) books at one time),
I've never read anything that comes close to what hub and I are witnessing and listening to
almost on a daily basis...

these people are closely related but have chosen to have it their way or no way, they refuse
to even try and live even a semi-normal-life' and just get along...they are not young anymore.,.
it is truly a very 'satanic-situation', with only more acted-out-hatred to come...

we are in deep grief for all concerned, and can only PRAY, knowing that our PRAYERS have some
effect and influence, we have seen this, - BUT, we are ready at all times to do what our Saviour
tells us to do, if we can help in ANY way that we can, but, it must be by His Will and Command,
else all would be futile if we acted out of our own emotions for what we would like to do,
for without His approval and instructions we would only be adhering to the 'carnal' ways
of trying to make things right...

please add this to your prayer list, Brothers and Sisters...
 

MarcR

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2015
5,486
183
63
#15
I have difficult neighbors. Just wondering what you would do -- if you would do anything.

What I know happened, in short form --

(1) They were very friendly when they moved in. But within a very short time, the woman (w) asked me to support her in a lawsuit against the previous owners. I declined, because I thought it frivolous, and I had no personal knowledge of what she said happened; furthermore, I didn't those neighbors would do what she said.

(2) She asked me if they could park one of their vehicles in front of our house sometimes. I said yes since our driveway gave us plenty room to park. We didn't use the area for about 1.5 yr, then we needed it. They were very unhappy with us.

(3) One time, I was working on the front yard, and they both came toward me. When I saw this, I felt very ashamed because I was thinking I had not talked to them about the L-RD. I greeted them, and they lit into me, saying that they didn't want to hear anything more about the L-RD, and a few other similar things, and I sat there wondering what I had said -- ever. I still don't know.

(4) couple years later, I noticed that their daughter no longer lived there. I was outside, as they headed toward their car. I, smiling, said, "So what's it like not having your daughter around anymore?" She went silent, and he lit into me, yelling that it was none of my business and to leave them alone, etc. I was shocked! I had no idea I'd said anything wrong.

So now, they have lived next to us for about 10 years. The only other communication we've had was once when I stopped by their house to ask if they were all right after some bitter weather.

Sitting here thinking about anything I may have done or said that could have been thought rude or not nice:
(1) When their daughter was younger, I stopped by the house a couple early Octobers and gave her little gifts (as I did for the children on the whole block), to explain that I don't do halloween, but that did not mean I didn't love and appreciate her.
(2) Also, when they first moved in, the lady once brought me cookies, and they were fabulous. I am a terrible cook, so I brought her chocolates I had bought. Maybe that was rude, but no one, who doesn't have to accept it, should be offered anything I cook or bake.
(3) I am not one to really get involved with my neighbors.

The lady has been in constant arthritic pain from childhood, and I know this must be horribly hard on her. The husband has an alcohol problem.

Oh, after writing this, I think all we can do is stay quiet and pray for them, but perhaps you have some ideas?
Beez,

You are responsible for your behavior NOT THEIRS.

You seem to have tried to be a good neighbor . If they do not reciprocate that is their problem not yours.

Continue to be pleasant with them when you have contact. Otherwise stay out of their way.
 
Dec 15, 2017
4
0
0
#16
beat the living crap out of them. Go over there with a baseball bat and show em whos boss. or just share some jesus with em.
 
Dec 15, 2017
9
1
0
#17
first you tie them to a radiator and then u get a massive sword and shove it up their butt, that way their death is sexy and hot
 

Huckleberry

Senior Member
Aug 25, 2013
1,698
96
48
#18
The elementary schools are already out for Christmas break?
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#20
first you tie them to a radiator and then u get a massive sword and shove it up their butt, that way their death is sexy and hot
===============================================

you should be banned for this 'post', this is supposed to be a CHRISTIAN advertised SITE...
shame on you!