Over the new years weekend, I found out that my husband has been "cheating" on me.... followed by a repentance, & him crying and begging me not to leave ... he's very sorry for hurting me so deeply, but is he REALLY sorry for what he was involved in? (sending pictures of his penis to ex girlfriends and them sending pictures, videos and other things that thankfully I didn't want to SEE). I was just going to check my facebook on our computer upstairs at our vacation home and found THIS ....
I'm trying to trust, and so far no sign of failure, but what, it's been a week?
I've made requests that have not been fulfilled yet, and it's said it's due to "business" .... so I'm giving him "time" alone to make changes in his contacts that he has had since 1979 ....
We got married this last May .... I was single for three years after a 30 year marriage/divorce and he was single for about six years & married three other times .... he was sexually active with many partners, I was not except for one brief relationship (mistake)...
I'm concerned that he still has old girlfriends as friends on FB and in his phone .... he changed his number but is in the "process" of deleting unwanted contacts ....
The really problem I have is we did not have a marital problem besides I was being told i was "over reacting" to his ex-girlfriend relationships... but we have had sex every night, often twice if not three times! yes, we are in our fifties. . . LOL .... we connect very intimately in music, family, background, beliefs ...
I just don't understand WHY a grown man would do something like this when we were not having problems at all intimately .... i understand there are sexual addictions ....
he will not go to counseling.... he said he would ask a friend to hold him accountable and yet that still has not happened...
He won't even delete the TWO ex girlfriends from facebook i asked him to...
My deep questions keep changing, but mostly are:
how concerned should I be about staying in the relationship and how do I begin to trust without being suspicious all the time?
how concerned should I be about the "friends" remaining in his life, even if he just calls them or talks to them from time to time and IS NOT supposedly doing that at this time?
I hate that he has baggage that he can't just "get rid of" and we start over and I don't have to think about him "reviewing" pictures to get rid of, contacts .... which ones he will keep and WHY ....
should I stay away as in living in a different house until this is all worked out on his part?
At 53, I love having a man who speaks my love languages perfectly, makes me feel cherished and loved every day and is promising that I am the only woman he wants to be with and that he will not do this type of behavior ever again...
some sights say to just leave, other say forget the past and move on as quickly as possible.... I'm trying to do the second..... anytime I bring up questions about things I want him to do like deleting contacts and no contact with x's, he replies kindly and yet when I ask, he said it's hurtful as he is doing everything he can to change things as soon as it is possible with a busy life and trying to spend time with me...
my crazy life .... what to do to move on ...
or start Over? that's terrifying ....
I'm trying to trust, and so far no sign of failure, but what, it's been a week?
I've made requests that have not been fulfilled yet, and it's said it's due to "business" .... so I'm giving him "time" alone to make changes in his contacts that he has had since 1979 ....
We got married this last May .... I was single for three years after a 30 year marriage/divorce and he was single for about six years & married three other times .... he was sexually active with many partners, I was not except for one brief relationship (mistake)...
I'm concerned that he still has old girlfriends as friends on FB and in his phone .... he changed his number but is in the "process" of deleting unwanted contacts ....
The really problem I have is we did not have a marital problem besides I was being told i was "over reacting" to his ex-girlfriend relationships... but we have had sex every night, often twice if not three times! yes, we are in our fifties. . . LOL .... we connect very intimately in music, family, background, beliefs ...
I just don't understand WHY a grown man would do something like this when we were not having problems at all intimately .... i understand there are sexual addictions ....
he will not go to counseling.... he said he would ask a friend to hold him accountable and yet that still has not happened...
He won't even delete the TWO ex girlfriends from facebook i asked him to...
My deep questions keep changing, but mostly are:
how concerned should I be about staying in the relationship and how do I begin to trust without being suspicious all the time?
how concerned should I be about the "friends" remaining in his life, even if he just calls them or talks to them from time to time and IS NOT supposedly doing that at this time?
I hate that he has baggage that he can't just "get rid of" and we start over and I don't have to think about him "reviewing" pictures to get rid of, contacts .... which ones he will keep and WHY ....
should I stay away as in living in a different house until this is all worked out on his part?
At 53, I love having a man who speaks my love languages perfectly, makes me feel cherished and loved every day and is promising that I am the only woman he wants to be with and that he will not do this type of behavior ever again...
some sights say to just leave, other say forget the past and move on as quickly as possible.... I'm trying to do the second..... anytime I bring up questions about things I want him to do like deleting contacts and no contact with x's, he replies kindly and yet when I ask, he said it's hurtful as he is doing everything he can to change things as soon as it is possible with a busy life and trying to spend time with me...
my crazy life .... what to do to move on ...
or start Over? that's terrifying ....