My husband is cheating&he’s a leader in church

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Dec 8, 2017
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#21
(God wants people like you to help the world)so don't stay stuck on this too long there is so many people out there that need you...you can and will get through this have faith in God and please don't doubt God because you can't hear him at times just remember when you are taking a test THE teacher is quiet and can't answer the questions for you but don't have fear because if you fail its ok THE teacher will help you afterwards
 
May 5, 2017
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#22
I'm going to be very blunt. An apology, sincerity, comes change. He isn't sorry. He has you as a wife that stays home , and ontop of that has his whores. You deserve better. Unless you don't think so? Or you could have fear? Or both. I'm going to assume both. All I can say is this. Right now ,God is separating the goats from the lambs. Get out of that situation. He shouldn't even be a pastor. What a poor example of Christ. I know we aren't perfect but holy smokes. He is choosing to keep doing this. That's what our free will is. He's choosing to not honor you or respect you because he doesn't love God or you. Actions speak louder than words. By there fruits you will know them. Jesus constantly said, sin no more. I'm sorry that your going through this. But don't let that fear of being alone and homeless stop you from persuing what our Father has in-store for you. Stop living in this fear, hurt, needing to control, etc. Be free. Jesus is so freeing man. Like,ommoo, He's such beautiful peace, that no-one can give to you, but Him. Have Him complete you, not your husband.
 
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Marj10690

Junior Member
Jan 10, 2018
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#23
Hi there! Your post really helped me a lot last week. And because you’re a man your perspective helps. How do I best be a good wife to a man who’s telling me he’s trying to change? How do I support him?
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
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#24
I don't know what to tell you. your husband is a useless lying sack of crap and theres nothing you can do about it.

Im writing this from a place of brokenness. My husband is a serial cheater and he always says he’ll stop. I’ve seen various pictures of various ladies in his phone. Chats he’s had with them to meet up in different hotels. The most devastating is the one I saw of him chatting with one of the church girls I see every single Sunday. I love this man and leaving him is not my first option. I’m a devoted Christian and forgiveness is top of my list when it comes to him but the problem is I keep forgiving and he keeps doing it. Please somebody out there be the word I’m waiting to hear!!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#25
I don't know what to tell you. your husband is a useless lying sack of crap and theres nothing you can do about it.
Actually, there is something that she can do about it, however there is one thing that she cannot do and that is to change him.
 
Dec 8, 2017
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#26
marj don't listen to negativity this is the reason why the world is the way it is Satan has deceived us all into thinking were each other's enemy if you believe in God than you know that your husband isn't your enemy even though he is doing this to you he isn't your enemy remember when pilots guards came and took Jesus and Peter started to fight the guards and Jesus said "if you live by the sword you will die by the sword" he never said yes Peter fight them they are useless sacks of crap I deserve better than this needless to say Jesus healed that guard's ear instead ....I totally understand if you can't no longer continue and you want a divorce but
 
Dec 8, 2017
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#27
I can't let you do something just because others have told you to and Jesus is clearly saying otherwise....ask yourself what will Jesus do? again it's ok if you don't WANT to continue but don't say that you CAN'T continue because you CAN you have the king of kings and Lord of lords in your and your husband's corner and for God nothing is impossible
 

JAnu

Junior Member
Jan 17, 2018
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#28
Dear Sister in Christ,

I was in this situation once in my life.

I also used to forgive him.

Only thing that I used to do is.

Cry out before God to change him and to bless my marriage.

And God is eternally faithful.

One day God touched and transformed his life to an extent that I can never imagine.

I thought My marriage will never work out.

I did not have any hope yet trusted in God that he will do something.

Yes God Showed his faithfulness in my marriage life.
God deliverd my husband from all his addiction.

The sam JESUS will touch ur husband too and transform ur marriage too.

God is able to deliver him

It is God who has given that forgiveness in ur heart so that you will not leav him and it is God who will show his work at ur marriage too for his Glory.

keep praying sister.

Our God is faithful.

Will pray for ur marraige.
 
Dec 28, 2016
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#29
Im writing this from a place of brokenness. My husband is a serial cheater and he always says he’ll stop. I’ve seen various pictures of various ladies in his phone. Chats he’s had with them to meet up in different hotels. The most devastating is the one I saw of him chatting with one of the church girls I see every single Sunday. I love this man and leaving him is not my first option. I’m a devoted Christian and forgiveness is top of my list when it comes to him but the problem is I keep forgiving and he keeps doing it. Please somebody out there be the word I’m waiting to hear!!
Men are commanded to love their wives in the same way the Christ loves His bride, and He showed His love by giving His life for her. Your husband has not shown you this love and you deserve more than he’s giving you. I am not a fan of divorce, but neither am I a fan of a perpetual vow breaker, either. Don’t you believe you deserve a better husband than the one you have now? He keeps saying he will change but doesn’t. He knows you’ll eventually forgive him. You allowing him to have his cake and eat it, too.

At the end of the day, the ball is in your court. I pray that God’s will be done in your life, my Sister.
 
Dec 8, 2017
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#30
SOVEREIGN GRACE......you know who else is not a fan of divorce ?Jesus, he says only exception for a divorce is fornication but he still doesn't want you to remarry it just goes to show how much he dislikes divorces....let whoever is without a sin throw the first rock
 
Dec 28, 2016
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#31
SOVEREIGN GRACE......you know who else is not a fan of divorce ?Jesus, he says only exception for a divorce is fornication but he still doesn't want you to remarry it just goes to show how much he dislikes divorces....let whoever is without a sin throw the first rock
Wait, iirc, He didn’t say not to get married again, the one who was cheated on.
 

PieceByPeace

Junior Member
Aug 9, 2017
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#32
I know you have received A LOT of responses to your post and may feel overwhelmed by that so I will trust that if the Holy Spirit wishes you to see my response then you will. First of all I am sorry you are going through this. I know what it's like to be married to a serial cheater...in fact, that's the exact phrase I used to describe mine, too. Everyday you live with paranoia, suspicion, regret, hope, disappointment, anger, sadness, hope, depression...just about every emotion under the sun apart from losing a loved one to death. My husband serial cheated on me for all 15 years of our marriage and made promise after promise that he would change...he never did. As a Christian I struggled with divorcing him (hence the 15 years), but one day I prayed and asked God to show me one more thing about my husband that would tell me, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was not going to change and God did not expect me to stay in misery with someone who would cause me hurt and pain the rest of my life. Well, He answered my prayer...my husband did one more thing that I absolutely could not ignore (it involved our children) and so I began the journey of divorce. My now ex-husband remains unrepentant for his adulterous sins. We are amicable with each other and I have forgiven him, but he has never repented. He will answer to God. I no longer live in that constant paranoia and suspicion and absolute heartache when the cheating is confirmed. I am free from that life. I am not advocating divorce for you. I would, however, recommend a trial separation and encourage your husband to get the help he needs and you get help, as well. Time will tell if he has a real heart change and that will be between he and God. For now, allow the Lord to begin healing your heart and let Him take care of your husband on His own. If your husband does not show any change then you will have your answer and can proceed forward with the divorce. We hope and pray it will not lead to that, but we also know we live in a fallen world and people make their own choices. I hope this helps answer some of your questions and concerns. And again, I am so very sorry you are going through this...it is an epidemic from the beginning of time and unfortunately will not change until Christ comes again. But, God can heal a repentant heart...let's hope your husband responds. Love and BIG HUGS to you!!!
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#33
first of all, your so called 'husband' is not a 'leader of any kind', except of satan's kind,,.

you must separate yourself from the devil's advocate in order to come into the
Body of Christ...
 
Dec 15, 2017
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#34
Im writing this from a place of brokenness. My husband is a serial cheater and he always says he’ll stop. I’ve seen various pictures of various ladies in his phone. Chats he’s had with them to meet up in different hotels. The most devastating is the one I saw of him chatting with one of the church girls I see every single Sunday. I love this man and leaving him is not my first option. I’m a devoted Christian and forgiveness is top of my list when it comes to him but the problem is I keep forgiving and he keeps doing it. Please somebody out there be the word I’m waiting to hear!!


Hi there,
I hope you are doing well and that you have gain encouragement to tackle this with God in your heart. Serial cheating is rough, and if trust is made you'll keep being reminded about the past or have suspicion. If you do find a way to talk to your husband and for him to make a change, all that you can do is put your trust in God. Put your faith that God will mend your heart and that your husband will stop and be faithful.

There was a point in my life that I needed to stop my behavior. I was cheating on my fiance at the time, and I came clean and asked for forgiveness. It has taken us a long time and an unsteady path to get ourselves in a better situation. I am now married to her and we are still building trust to this day. I wanted to suggest a book that I read when I was going through my change. I left that old life of cheating behind me, and will not hurt my wife like I did again. I love her and I found that my prayers and devotion into God has transformed me. I pray to soften my wife's heart, and for her to notice the change in me.

The book: The case for Grace - Lee Strobel - Chapter 7 "The Pastor"

I confessed everything to my wife, and that day never looked back. I became an open book (providing accounts and passwords), it was tough but I wanted to earn my wife's trust again. What I'm trying to say is that your husband will want to have this change to happen. If he doesn't then his serial cheating will not change.
 
Dec 8, 2017
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#35
Wait, iirc, He didn’t say not to get married again, the one who was cheated on.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
did you read it?
 

Bebe11

Junior Member
Oct 30, 2016
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#36
Is your husband a true believer of God? When we accept Christ, the Holy Spirit is within us to guide and direct us. The Holy Spirit will convict us of our wrong doing. I agree with some of the other posters that your husband doesn't seem to have a repentant heart. He is walking in the opposite direction of what God wants him to do. He needs to repent and TURN away from his sin...and back to God. It doesn't sound like he has done this. I know you have probably prayed a million prayers, but keep on praying.

My marriage was headed down a dark road after the death of our daughter, and my husband and I both agreed we needed help. We found an intensive marriage counseling course call Hope Restored. It saved our marriage. (Well, God saved our marriage!) I hope you and your husband will get the help you need to get your marriage back on track. I just said a prayer for you!
 
Dec 28, 2016
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#37
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
did you read it?
Yes. If you put the fornicator away, its they who would commit adultery, not the one who was cheated on.

If my wife cheated on me, I could divorce her and remarry. She would be the one in adultery if she remarried.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
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#38
Yes. If you put the fornicator away, its they who would commit adultery, not the one who was cheated on.

If my wife cheated on me, I could divorce her and remarry. She would be the one in adultery if she remarried.
Not exactly. An allowance is made to divorce but remarry is only an accommodation for those who cannot discipline themselves to serve God and burn in their lusts.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Lucinda13

Banned Verified Fraud
Dec 7, 2013
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#39
My dad cheated on my mom and she divorced him. I live with her.
 
Nov 23, 2016
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#40
And because you’re a man your perspective helps. How do I best be a good wife to a man who’s telling me he’s trying to change? How do I support him?
Why are you still with this bum ? That's the question you should be asking yourself.