Long distance relationship... how do I make it work?

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caffeLover29

Junior Member
#1
Jan 16, 2018
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#1
My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a good 7 months now. It’s been going well but the ups and downs are also present. There are moments when it’s unbearable since we sometimes miss each other and the physical needs are always a problem. I can definitely say that our relationship is worth fighting for... but on times when we fight, it’s hard to make up with each other due to the distance. I really need some moral support or advice on how we can make things work between us.

I met Gina through a singles tour held in Cebu, Philippines by A Foreign Affair. It was love at first sight. Things went well between us and the chemistry is great. I’ve decided to stay for a couple of months to get to know her better (her family and friends included.) It was a huge jump from the ordinary but I’m glad I did it.

The fact that I need to come back to the U.S. because of my business that we are stuck with long distance at the moment. We haven’t talked about marriage since I think it’s still too soon to consider it… so, long distance will be our biggest obstacle for the meantime.

I’d really appreciate it if you guys can give me advice or suggestion on how I can keep our relationship stay, if not smoothly, well. I’d also like to ask for advice on how to keep the spark between us to stay alive in this distance. Please, give me advice.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#2
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
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Germany
#2
Long distance relationships are nothing that i can promote. Its too much heartache..plus Philippines raises red flags too
Visit each other if ur sure its true but my advice is that u search for someone u can touch and reach..
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#3
#3
It's kind of like falling in love with a snowman, but living in Hawaii. I have no idea why you thought sticking around for two months would help. All that did was make it worse.

Your choice -- either move to the Philippines or call it off. Why? Did you even have another plan? Were you planning on talking her into moving to the States with you? That's unfair, her home and family are in the Philippines. If you love her that much, move to her part of the world. Love is giving, not taking.
 
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justjess

Junior Member
#4
Jan 8, 2018
10
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#4
Hello,

I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years, it is one of the hardest things to do. Especilly since you two are from different countries. As for how to keep the spark alive, it depends. Running out of things to talk about is going to happen. No matter how much of a connection you have. Try watching things together, or playing a game (If you two enjoy gaming)

My brother and his fiancee are from different countries and she is moving to to the US this year. Again, keeping it alive is to set times to watch and do things together. (Through skype or whatnot) Another thing is to set up a goal to have one or the other visit in another six months or so.

Good luck, it is hard, but if you think it is worth then then try your best.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,324
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Tennessee
#5
My younger brother is married to a woman from the Philippines. He met her on a dating site and after a couple months actually saw her there and spent a couple weeks there with her and her family. He had to go back to the US after this short period because his vacation time from work was over.

They talked everyday, including about marriage. A few months later he flew back there to get her, and she was allowed to enter the US on a fiancée visa that my brother was able to get for her in less than a month. They were married in the US.

That was 20 years ago. Today, his wife is now a US citizen and their son is in his first year of college.

If you both love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together actually getting married can be very doable short-term process. Either you love her enough to marry her or you don't. If you don't then your relationship with this woman will soon fizzle out due to the fact that you cannot physically be together and there is no sense of commitment to sustaining and growing the relationship.

Pray for clarity of thought and either boldly proceed or prepare yourself for the day when the romance is over and you're still alone in this world.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#6
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
338
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#6
The spark will die in time.. Relationships either move forward or end, but never idle very long. Your not ready for marriage, so I'd advise another trip, or ask her to get a passport if you can afford to fly her over.
 
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Ben675

Junior Member
#7
Jan 16, 2018
8
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#7
i would say. Keep it in GOD's hands. If you dont know what to do especially in times when you both miss each other, then go to God in prayer. i can guarantee if God wants you both to be together, then its worth it. Seek the LORD!
 
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Mary46

Junior Member
#8
Jan 25, 2018
8
0
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#8
I was married for 23 years and my husband and I had a long distance relationship for 13 of those years. It didn't work out we thought we were a strong couple but we got separated. So this is another way to see it. It depends on the both of you but not for too long I guess. Bless you!!!
 
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oldethennew

Banned
#9
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
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#9
we, as human animals, need 'touch' as well as voice/words', and yes, that first 'physical attraction'
is a power-house', but unless you are able to share it on a regular basis, then the 'spark' will soon fade',
faster that you can believe - if it's 'real', then there will be no barriers that can keep you apart, for what
God joins together, no man can put asunder'...True Love is not a 'play-ground', it is a heart-felt
commitment that any worldly pulls can never separate...it's all or nothing, a mere fantasy on
both parts, unless you have all four feet committed' to the max...
 
Last edited:
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#10
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#10
The OP is a scam promotion for A foreign Affair.
 
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Jeshuvan

Pastor
Staff member
#11
Apr 15, 2012
221
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#11
Hi first of all i heard no mention of God,where she is from and how far doesnt matter if this is truly of Gods making,First are you truly living for God and is she,God first,You must see her walk over a long period of time,Its better to be single wishing you were married,than be married wishing you were not.
my wife is from India,we have been married 20 yrs.But prayer study Gods word together,just things of God will encourage you both,but dont be lead by jusy feelings for her,it probably wont work.Matthew 6:33 says seek first Gods kingdom and his righteousness all else will be added,Hope this helps.Jeshuvan
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#12
Jul 18, 2017
24,521
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#12
caffeLover29 said:
My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a good 7 months now... The fact that I need to come back to the U.S. because of my business that we are stuck with long distance at the moment. We haven’t talked about marriage since I think it’s still too soon to consider it…
Click to expand...
It would appear that you both are two adults. Which means that 7 months should have been sufficient to make up your minds about marriage. So rather than discuss "long-distance relationship" discuss marriage ASAP.

Since you have come to a Christian forum, it would seem that you need a Christian perspective. So the primary concern for both of you is whether or not you are both truly saved and will therefore marry "in the Lord" and bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If that is not your primary concern, nothing else will matter.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#13
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#13
My father believes that two should date a minimum of 30 years before marriage.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
BTW, this was never a real person with a problem. This was a sneaky ad for "snigles tour." (Misspelled on purpose for absolutely no use for inbound links.)

Poorly done SEO, but SEO nonetheless.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#16
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
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#16
Just as a warning for anyone who might think finding a mail order bride is the way to go.

A very close Christian friend of ours, divorced by his wife for many years, and attracted to Asian women, got a letter from a woman in the Philippines, and started to correspond with her. This was back in the mid-1980’s. Now here is the kicker! This community had quite a few Philippino women, and they all warned him against marrying her. They said she was just looking for a free ride to Canada for her and her family. I read her letters, and she didn’t seem sincere about her faith, her love for him, just the desperate need to get out of the Philippines and poverty. I also told him not to marry her.

Well, he didn’t listen. She told him she believed in God and read the Bible. He did not ask her which church she went to, figuring she would just come to his church in Canada. Which she did for the first year or so.

One day, the JWs ended up on her door, when he was at work. She invited them in, and connected with people from HER church. Then she wouldn’t go to his church.

Meanwhile, she got pregnant (he figured in his 60’s he was too old to conceive a child!) and he paid for all her relatives to come over, plus sponsored them, meaning he was responsible for their debts. He used up most of his money, bending over backwards to try and please her, then to bring her to the Lord. Of course, the whole family was JW, no way they were going to let go of her!

He said he couldn’t pray in his own house, the oppression was so heavy. He begged God to change things, but got no answer. He finally started sleeping in his car, to get away from her. Which is cold in the Canadian winter! Some friends gave him a couch in their basement to sleep on.

By this time he was retired and on a pension. He had kept the house in his name, but Canadian law didn’t care, since he didn’t file to have her deported soon enough. And he was still responsible for the whole family. He started to get sick, double vision, dizziness, and the doctor figured it was stress. Which it was. It finally disappeared a few years after he got through the worst.

The wife finally filed for divorce. Because she filed first, in a small town, she got the legal aid lawyer. He had an expensive lawyer in Vancouver, whom he never saw, because he didn’t have enough money to put gas in his car and drive for 2 days, plus stay in a hotel.

In the end, she got the house, and all his money. Although she had to pay him back $20,000, on the mutual assests, which his lawyer promptly seized. He also had to pay child support for his daughter, till she was 18. He didn’t petition the courts to release him from the child support when she turned 18, because the mom said she was going to college. He finally found out 4 years later his daughter worked as a chamber maid in a hotel, never went to college. He finally petitioned and got relief.

He has a small pension, moved far away, rarely sees his daughter, although he is very close with the ex-wife’s oldest daughter who is not biologically his. She takes better care of him than his own kids which is the one blessing I can see that came out of all this.

Long true story just to issue a warning to anyone else who might be considering bringing a woman over from the Philippines or any other country. What you don’t know might destroy your life. (Not saying this is all women, but certainly something to be wary about.)
 
preacher4truth

preacher4truth

Senior Member
#17
Dec 28, 2016
9,171
2,718
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#17
What one party sees in the new, long distance romance:

It was love at first sight!

What the other party really sees concerning this new "love" at first sight scenario:

 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#18
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#18
"Long distance relationship... how do I make it work?"

Easy. One of you has to move.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#20
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
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#20
Interstellar*(2014)

Brand: Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space.
 
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