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Thread: Fustrating ..

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    Default Fustrating ..

    ....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
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    Senior Member MissCris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    I can absolutely relate to this! Being a wife and mother is Hard. And yes, sometimes completely overwhelming.

    Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, keeping kids and school sorted out, grocery shopping, PLANNING for grocery shopping, running errands, paying bills, commitments with work or church or family or friends, remembering everything for everyone in the house, school functions, trying to feed everyone something they will actually eat, more laundry, more cleaning, finding lost items for everyone because nobody ever knows where they put their own stuff, trying to find five spare minutes to take a shower, everybody coming to you because they need socks or help with school work or their hair brushed or their dentist appointment made...and sometimes that’s just your average Monday.

    I got to the point where I was so far behind on everything- the house was such a disaster- I couldn’t take care of the bills without forgetting one (or two)- everything seemed too crazy, too difficult...I just stopped. I didn’t do anything. I felt just lost, depressed, and then also insanely guilty because I couldn’t take care of my family. It was horrible. I get it- you’re definitely not alone.

    Things are way better now- three years later. I still get overwhelmed and sometimes resentful, but I know better how to handle it now.

    What helped/helps me:

    I told my husband how I was feeling and asked him for the first time to pick just one of “my” responsibilities that he could take on. He picked the bills- and he does great with it, and I never have to try to juggle our income around and remember what’s due when. Huge weight off of me.

    I stopped trying to do EVERYTHING. Let the kids forget things sometimes; they will learn. Prioritize things each day- if the dishes have to wait til morning, or if you feed your family a frozen pizza, fine! Nobody will die.

    I asked God to help me...to let me serve my family joyfully, to change how I looked at my responsibilities, to help me know what’s important and what isn’t. And I have to pray this often, but it helps.

    What God is teaching me through all of this though, is to Ask for help. To ask Him, and to ask my husband. Yes, my husband works long hours. Yes, he has a whole list of his own responsibilities here and elsewhere. And I don’t Mind holding up my end of things... but when it gets crazy, and I’m struggling, I swallow my pride and admit it to him.

    I’m sorry your feeling this way right now. I know it’s rough. I’ll be praying for you- which maybe doesn’t seem as helpful as if I could come clean your house and give you a break


    There's joy for the morning
    Oh sinner, be still
    Earth has no sorrow
    That Heaven can't heal
    -Crowder

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by MissCris View Post
    I can absolutely relate to this! Being a wife and mother is Hard. And yes, sometimes completely overwhelming.

    Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, keeping kids and school sorted out, grocery shopping, PLANNING for grocery shopping, running errands, paying bills, commitments with work or church or family or friends, remembering everything for everyone in the house, school functions, trying to feed everyone something they will actually eat, more laundry, more cleaning, finding lost items for everyone because nobody ever knows where they put their own stuff, trying to find five spare minutes to take a shower, everybody coming to you because they need socks or help with school work or their hair brushed or their dentist appointment made...and sometimes that’s just your average Monday.

    I got to the point where I was so far behind on everything- the house was such a disaster- I couldn’t take care of the bills without forgetting one (or two)- everything seemed too crazy, too difficult...I just stopped. I didn’t do anything. I felt just lost, depressed, and then also insanely guilty because I couldn’t take care of my family. It was horrible. I get it- you’re definitely not alone.

    Things are way better now- three years later. I still get overwhelmed and sometimes resentful, but I know better how to handle it now.

    What helped/helps me:

    I told my husband how I was feeling and asked him for the first time to pick just one of “my” responsibilities that he could take on. He picked the bills- and he does great with it, and I never have to try to juggle our income around and remember what’s due when. Huge weight off of me.

    I stopped trying to do EVERYTHING. Let the kids forget things sometimes; they will learn. Prioritize things each day- if the dishes have to wait til morning, or if you feed your family a frozen pizza, fine! Nobody will die.

    I asked God to help me...to let me serve my family joyfully, to change how I looked at my responsibilities, to help me know what’s important and what isn’t. And I have to pray this often, but it helps.

    What God is teaching me through all of this though, is to Ask for help. To ask Him, and to ask my husband. Yes, my husband works long hours. Yes, he has a whole list of his own responsibilities here and elsewhere. And I don’t Mind holding up my end of things... but when it gets crazy, and I’m struggling, I swallow my pride and admit it to him.

    I’m sorry your feeling this way right now. I know it’s rough. I’ll be praying for you- which maybe doesn’t seem as helpful as if I could come clean your house and give you a break
    Yes! It's the same way scheduling everything just a lot!! Thank you for understanding, and for keeping me in your prayers I do try to let my husband know how I'm feeling. And he tries to help that one day lol I'm like hun... I need you more than the one day. That is a good idea. That he handled the bills. I will try to ask him to help me with at least one of the 1,000,000 jobs I have. God Bless you I'll be praying for you too! I'm glad it has gotten better for you, I pray it gets better here

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    ....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way sister. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need, and has no desire to see His daughter feel like you are feeling.

    HE WILL NOT "TAKE" YOUR SALVATION!!! Wherever you got that idea you need to dispose of it. That is what the enemy wants you to believe.

    Holy Father, please give Your daughter the peace she now needs, with a better understanding of who she is in Your Son, and the incredible love You have for her. In Jesus Name.
    student, MissCris, Monnkai and 4 others like this.

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by PennEd View Post
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way sister. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need, and has no desire to see His daughter feel like you are feeling.

    HE WILL NOT "TAKE" YOUR SALVATION!!! Wherever you got that idea you need to dispose of it. That is what the enemy wants you to believe.

    Holy Father, please give Your daughter the peace she now needs, with a better understanding of who she is in Your Son, and the incredible love You have for her. In Jesus Name.
    Thank you for the the prayer and encouragement. It just gets to be a lot, I just want peace and the strength to get through it. God Bless you sister!
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    Yes! It's the same way scheduling everything just a lot!! Thank you for understanding, and for keeping me in your prayers I do try to let my husband know how I'm feeling. And he tries to help that one day lol I'm like hun... I need you more than the one day. That is a good idea. That he handled the bills. I will try to ask him to help me with at least one of the 1,000,000 jobs I have. God Bless you I'll be praying for you too! I'm glad it has gotten better for you, I pray it gets better here
    Thank you Lord knows I still need all the help I can get

    I am in no way disparaging men here, because it works the other way around too- but isn’t it funny how husbands sometimes just have no idea how much their wives are doing? My husband was genuinely surprised when I told him I was feeling overwhelmed. He wasn’t trying to be mean, he just honestly didn’t consider everything I do to keep our home running. I asked him if he notices when his closet is empty or I try to feed him French fries for dinner and he said of course he does. But he spends so much time working and taking care of other stuff that he didn’t even think about all the work making a house a home takes.

    Like I said, women do the same thing- not considering how big of a burden it is for their husband to be the main source of income, or the effort it takes to come home from a long day of work and NOT mentally clock out and ignore his wife and kids.

    Anyway. I’m glad you’re here and that you started this thread! Sometimes it helps just to get it out
    PennEd, tourist, Magenta and 1 others like this.


    There's joy for the morning
    Oh sinner, be still
    Earth has no sorrow
    That Heaven can't heal
    -Crowder

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by MissCris View Post
    Thank you Lord knows I still need all the help I can get

    I am in no way disparaging men here, because it works the other way around too- but isn’t it funny how husbands sometimes just have no idea how much their wives are doing? My husband was genuinely surprised when I told him I was feeling overwhelmed. He wasn’t trying to be mean, he just honestly didn’t consider everything I do to keep our home running. I asked him if he notices when his closet is empty or I try to feed him French fries for dinner and he said of course he does. But he spends so much time working and taking care of other stuff that he didn’t even think about all the work making a house a home takes.

    Like I said, women do the same thing- not considering how big of a burden it is for their husband to be the main source of income, or the effort it takes to come home from a long day of work and NOT mentally clock out and ignore his wife and kids.

    Anyway. I’m glad you’re here and that you started this thread! Sometimes it helps just to get it out
    Yes! I agree my husband was surprised as well. They sometimes don't understand, because as you stated they work so much and then to come home.

    Thank you for having me here I'm glad to be here!
    Yes it feels great to vent, and get feelings out thank you for talking to me and hearing me out!
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    Senior Member Waggles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Are you totally alone?
    Have you no other family or friends that
    can help?

    I am a grandfather and I take my granddaughter to school and
    pick her up and often babysit my granddaughters.
    I help out with other chores, like washing dishes and gardening.
    JesusLives, tourist and Deade like this.
    for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!
    1Corinthians 9:16

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    ....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
    Yeah. I talked to my husband, and told him what I'm feeling.
    Deade likes this.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    ....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
    Sorry to hear about your frustration. Please ask yourself a few tough questions:

    1. Is it absolutely critical for me to work 3 days a week if my husband is already immersed in work up to his eyeballs?

    2. Does his overwork provide the income to survive (basics)?

    3. Why am I not using a tax preparation service (which is generally at reasonable cost)?

    4. Why have I not sat down with my husband to discuss his work and why he should not be working regular hours and making ends meet?

    Your primary responsibility is your home and your children. His primary responsibility is earning a living and handling all financial matters, including taxes. If it is lack of organization on his part, then that should be addressed.
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Waggles View Post
    Are you totally alone?
    Have you no other family or friends that
    can help?

    I am a grandfather and I take my granddaughter to school and
    pick her up and often babysit my granddaughters.
    I help out with other chores, like washing dishes and gardening.
    Well not totally my mom works.and she can't help me anymore she says she likes her breaks. My sister works and isn't reliable friends work mother in law works.... it's just me...my dad loves to watch them but he works so much too.. he's falling asleep when he does try to watch them for a second over my house
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Nehemiah6 View Post
    Sorry to hear about your frustration. Please ask yourself a few tough questions:

    1. Is it absolutely critical for me to work 3 days a week if my husband is already immersed in work up to his eyeballs?

    2. Does his overwork provide the income to survive (basics)?

    3. Why am I not using a tax preparation service (which is generally at reasonable cost)?

    4. Why have I not sat down with my husband to discuss his work and why he should not be working regular hours and making ends meet?

    Your primary responsibility is your home and your children. His primary responsibility is earning a living and handling all financial matters, including taxes. If it is lack of organization on his part, then that should be addressed.
    That is something to truly evaluate.... I'm going to sit and figure that out... and talk to him about it... or sit down together
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    Yeah. I talked to my husband, and told him what I'm feeling.
    Did it work?....did you get it solved?
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    Did it work?....did you get it solved?
    If I can't trust my husband to hear me, who can I trust?

    Did it work? It's not as if it's only one moment in a marriage. Marriage is often about renegotiating how to get things done with two sane people to keep them sane. I've been married for 37 years and we're still talking it out. What worked for us two years ago, wouldn't work for us now. lol
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    Lynn

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    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    If I can't trust my husband to hear me, who can I trust?

    Did it work? It's not as if it's only one moment in a marriage. Marriage is often about renegotiating how to get things done with two sane people to keep them sane. I've been married for 37 years and we're still talking it out. What worked for us two years ago, wouldn't work for us now. lol
    lol that gives me hope! You got through 37 years, and haven't went crazy.
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Dear mama, I feel for you. It is not easy to be a mother with the fruit of the Holy Spirit. And that is why I need my redeemer & savior everyday. It is truly a lifelong calling to minister to our family and I'm grateful for that. Our good good Father God never requires us to be perfect, but just to be faithful. I'm sure you are faithful in many of your ways and blessing your family the best as you can. Well done good & faithful servant! Cast your anxious thoughts to Him and He will cover you with His unfathomable peace each day. Big hug to you sister!
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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by MissCris View Post
    I can absolutely relate to this! Being a wife and mother is Hard. And yes, sometimes completely overwhelming.
    I unsuccessfully tried to give you a rep for this, MissCris. IMHO it warrants several.
    MissCris and Deade like this.

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    ....I love my husband and children. I feel like I'm about to lose it.. it's like my husband works everyday, I mean everyday 12-13 hours a day..... or more... I work also 3 days a week... but I feel like I'm about to cry right now... I'm trying to do taxes.... be here for my sons therapy appointments .. cook.. clean.. wash clothes ... read the Word of God... but I feel myself getting so frustrated with them because I feel I can't get enough done. I get so frustrated I feel the Lord will take my salvation... or that I'm loosing my faith... with being so overwhelmed... I do know that's what I'm suppose to do as a wife.. and be submissive as the Bible says. Can you all relate? If so how did you get through it?
    And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her (Luke 18:41-42).

    For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him Crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    If I can't trust my husband to hear me, who can I trust?

    Did it work? It's not as if it's only one moment in a marriage. Marriage is often about renegotiating how to get things done with two sane people to keep them sane. I've been married for 37 years and we're still talking it out. What worked for us two years ago, wouldn't work for us now. lol
    ​You can't fix the flesh with the flesh (Romans 8.:13)
    For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him Crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2

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    Default Re: Fustrating ..

    Quote Originally Posted by MessageOfTheCross View Post
    ​You can't fix the flesh with the flesh (Romans 8.:13)
    Nothing was said about fixing the flesh, what was said was about trust. I trust my wife the same way and I'm sure that she feels the same way towards me.
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