Dear Sister,
You are not alone in this battle. Being in 'the pit', of what looks like depression, is an awful place to be...but it is possible to climb out. A few years ago I was in this pit. I was very depressed and even felt guilty about my depression because God has blessed me richly. Guilt AND depression...more guilt and more depression. Who do you think is behind this? Yes, Satan. But I didn't realize that until he over-played his hand...I started thinking 'my family would be better off without me'. I knew this wasn't from God so I immediately started on the path to renewal.
Yes, life had disappointed me. What I'd sunk my time and energy into was NOT playing out the way it was supposed to. I bought Joyce Meyer's "battlefield of the mind"...because the mind is where Satan begins his attacks. I also started practicing an attitude of gratitude by listing my blessings and seeing where God has actively been working in my life. I also read about struggling Christians in persecuted countries...I really started feeling like a cry-baby which tempted me to fall into even more self-condemnation. But because I reading the Bible and studying Satan's tactics, I was able to see and understand how Satan was using my weaknesses to defeat me.
I, too, find 'rejection' almost intolerable. My feelings get hurt too easily. My parents and siblings make fun of me because I'm Christian and also because I'm different than they are. There is no sense of 'family loyalty' or closeness between us.
I have found that there is only ONE identity that works in this life and that is to see ourselves as God's children and Him as our Father. When we get that relationship right all of our other relationships work out (not that everyone will like/love us because there are many reasons for 'dislike'. But we're able to accept this without a crushing sense of inadequacy and failure).
As we're being made into new creations, to be Christ-like, our personalities change. And we can accept the fact that there just are going to be people who don't like us...for whatever reason...and we can live with it because we know who we are in Christ. No bully can put us in the dirt ever again. Even family members. Our self-esteem becomes healthy because we finally know who we are meant to be. And it is crucial for every believer to have a support group of other Christians. A church that sponsors small groups is ideal because this small group gives you the opportunity to share and learn and grow personal relationships.
Bible study, prayer, interacting with other Christians, reading books by mature believers...all of these can help you on your quest to abundant living.
A word about food....our body is a temple (Paul) and we have to keep it clean. In today's food culture of man-made pretend food it is VERY HARD TO EAT RIGHT. These foods are made from chemicals that hijack our brains and bodies. They are formulated to be addictive because they make people rich. Sorry, that's probably pessimistic...but money drives almost everything in our society. I was 50 lbs overweight when I finally decided to get myself under control. I went on a low carb diet and immediately started losing weight. Also, I started light exercise for 30 minutes a day. What a difference! My brain started working better too and my sleep really improved...depression and poor sleep can be caused by junk food.
Some books that helped me get started: "Grain Brain" by Dr. Perlmutter...."Wheat Belly" by Dr. Davis...and many others. I was pre-diabetic, had high blood pressure, and my hormones were all out of whack. I've lost 30 lbs and feel so much better. Still working on getting rid of this stubborn weight. One thing I was surprised about is how food affects our brain and our moods.
Sorry this is so long....my main point is ....don't give up. Satan would just love that and we're just not going to let him win. Period. There are steps we can take. We have to stay in the battle...for our own sake and for the cause of Christ. Not just so we can share in the blessing of a peace that passes understanding but also because the unbelieving world is watching. No pressure
. We are in a spiritual war that also affects the physical world (like our bodies). I really don't want to live forever in THIS world, but while I'm here I want to feel as good as possible.
Praying for you sister...not to feel defeated but to get back into the fight. We have to fight for our belief and to continue growing in the truth and the light of our Savior Jesus Christ. God will lead you to where He wants you.
You are not alone in this battle. Being in 'the pit', of what looks like depression, is an awful place to be...but it is possible to climb out. A few years ago I was in this pit. I was very depressed and even felt guilty about my depression because God has blessed me richly. Guilt AND depression...more guilt and more depression. Who do you think is behind this? Yes, Satan. But I didn't realize that until he over-played his hand...I started thinking 'my family would be better off without me'. I knew this wasn't from God so I immediately started on the path to renewal.
Yes, life had disappointed me. What I'd sunk my time and energy into was NOT playing out the way it was supposed to. I bought Joyce Meyer's "battlefield of the mind"...because the mind is where Satan begins his attacks. I also started practicing an attitude of gratitude by listing my blessings and seeing where God has actively been working in my life. I also read about struggling Christians in persecuted countries...I really started feeling like a cry-baby which tempted me to fall into even more self-condemnation. But because I reading the Bible and studying Satan's tactics, I was able to see and understand how Satan was using my weaknesses to defeat me.
I, too, find 'rejection' almost intolerable. My feelings get hurt too easily. My parents and siblings make fun of me because I'm Christian and also because I'm different than they are. There is no sense of 'family loyalty' or closeness between us.
I have found that there is only ONE identity that works in this life and that is to see ourselves as God's children and Him as our Father. When we get that relationship right all of our other relationships work out (not that everyone will like/love us because there are many reasons for 'dislike'. But we're able to accept this without a crushing sense of inadequacy and failure).
As we're being made into new creations, to be Christ-like, our personalities change. And we can accept the fact that there just are going to be people who don't like us...for whatever reason...and we can live with it because we know who we are in Christ. No bully can put us in the dirt ever again. Even family members. Our self-esteem becomes healthy because we finally know who we are meant to be. And it is crucial for every believer to have a support group of other Christians. A church that sponsors small groups is ideal because this small group gives you the opportunity to share and learn and grow personal relationships.
Bible study, prayer, interacting with other Christians, reading books by mature believers...all of these can help you on your quest to abundant living.
A word about food....our body is a temple (Paul) and we have to keep it clean. In today's food culture of man-made pretend food it is VERY HARD TO EAT RIGHT. These foods are made from chemicals that hijack our brains and bodies. They are formulated to be addictive because they make people rich. Sorry, that's probably pessimistic...but money drives almost everything in our society. I was 50 lbs overweight when I finally decided to get myself under control. I went on a low carb diet and immediately started losing weight. Also, I started light exercise for 30 minutes a day. What a difference! My brain started working better too and my sleep really improved...depression and poor sleep can be caused by junk food.
Some books that helped me get started: "Grain Brain" by Dr. Perlmutter...."Wheat Belly" by Dr. Davis...and many others. I was pre-diabetic, had high blood pressure, and my hormones were all out of whack. I've lost 30 lbs and feel so much better. Still working on getting rid of this stubborn weight. One thing I was surprised about is how food affects our brain and our moods.
Sorry this is so long....my main point is ....don't give up. Satan would just love that and we're just not going to let him win. Period. There are steps we can take. We have to stay in the battle...for our own sake and for the cause of Christ. Not just so we can share in the blessing of a peace that passes understanding but also because the unbelieving world is watching. No pressure
. We are in a spiritual war that also affects the physical world (like our bodies). I really don't want to live forever in THIS world, but while I'm here I want to feel as good as possible.Praying for you sister...not to feel defeated but to get back into the fight. We have to fight for our belief and to continue growing in the truth and the light of our Savior Jesus Christ. God will lead you to where He wants you
.