I not sure anymore

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Pontiac

Guest
#41
I did only respond to your stupid post, and your stupid advice.

You made your dumb statement in post #4. By this time, the OP had only divulged that her husband had left, and she pushed him away.

Later you tried to rectify this by mentioning the husband is an adulterer, but that information didn't come about until post #19. If you read that post, with basic comprehension, you could note, the two reconciled after that episode, and is not the issue now, other than the OP has not healed from it after reconciliation. Your argument you make in post #21, doesn't hold water.

Maybe you're the troll. Maybe you're the snake that slithers it's way into others marriage. Possibly you're a shark, smells blood in the water, and comes circling. I don't know you, it's just hypotheticals.

I do have experience with guys like that.

You are right, I should offer advice to the lady who began this thred...... Don't take Pontiac's advice. He is suggesting you alienate the children from their father. Horribly wrong.
Your words are slightly true and mostly untrue along with much false gossip ... True it was not revealed unto you that the man was a cheater until posting 19, however it WAS revealed unto you much earlier that the man DID walk out on his wife, but that he had also decided to abandon at least (2) of HIS young children ... IMPORTANT TO NOTE: Although most here are recognizing the woman admitted to pushing the man away I don't believe people are grasping the full extent of what took place here ... The man did not only LEAVE his wife ... He chose to also LEAVE his children ... It was NOT his children that pushed this man away for sure ... I believe we all here can agree on this much ... So, what we have here is a man that has decided to LEAVE his own children because his wife may have been nagging ... My intuition told me as early as posting 1 that something is highly amiss here ... ANY man, and I will repeat, ANY MAN that will allow a woman or anyone else on the face of this earth to influence him to get up and walk out on HIS CHILDREN is a coward ... And not only is he a coward for walking out on his children, but he has shown to have "zero conscious" of the Lord by committing that atrocious act ... Because of arguing, a man decides to LEAVE his children ? ... No man in his right mind would make such a foolish decision ... I knew in the beginning, there was much more to this situation than was being told ... Now, although that something else was not revealed to you folks until posting 19, I already knew it or something very similar existed after posting 1 ... It was, at that point, where it was revealed that the man walked out on his VERY OWN CHILDREN ... It was, at that point very early in this thread, that it was revealed the man had lost ALL consciousness under our LORD JESUS CHRIST ... And, it was at that point, that it was revealed unto, me at least, that the man is a coward and has some extremely serious issues that only the ALMIGHTY GOD is going to be able to repair ...

Now let me enlighten everyone here on a few biblical facts ... It is said the world is full of many, many opinions and that is certainly true ... As we know ALL of the Bible is true ... I have allowed everyone here to have their own opinion as long as that opinion does not conflict with scripture, but I have not been offered the same consideration ... If others wish to have the opinion that this lady should try to rectify this situation with this man, then I give all the right to have that opinion ... However, to condemn another man, to call him names, to insult him and to accuse him of trying to harm this woman or her family in any way shape or form simply because he has a different opinion is WRONG ... It is not only wrong not to allow another to have their own opinion, but it is highly contrary to the word of God to spread highly defamatory guesses into the man's motives when you do not know the man and his motives ... I have only tried to help this woman and her family and God is the ONLY witness that I need to support this fact ... All humans are free to think of me as they choose ... But to accuse me of thinking of doing anything underhanded to harm this woman is to bear false witness unto your neighbor with absolutely no evidence to support those claims other than your own animosity ...

Everyone here is free to go on hating "Pontiac", because he is new here and not afraid to voice his opinions ... Everyone has that free will ... However, this "Pontiac" person has spoken much truth to many threads in these forums in a very short time ... He is never called anyone any names and he has not spread false gossip or falsely accused anyone as to their motives for being here ... Although some here have been very kind, it is obvious that others have chosen to be hateful and are quick to call others names ... I suggest that we put all of that behind us now and try to help this woman and most importantly try to help her to decide what is best for her children ...

I will agree that, IF this man can find JESUS that it is best for those children to grow up with their natural father ... But IF can sometimes be a very big word ... So far, unto me at least, the man has demonstrated to being very far away from the Lord with his heart ... I don't know exactly where that heart rests, but I do know that when it does not rest with his children then it does not rest with God ... As I said before, everyone is free to their own opinion ... Myself, I would not recommend the woman reuniting with this man until he has proven to submitted unto God and truly asked Him into his heart ... It has been said here, by the woman, that he doesn't know if he believes ... If he does not know, then it is obvious he does NOT believe ... And because of what he has done, it is obvious that he does NOT believe ... I saw this with discerning eyes very early in this post, even before he was said to be a cheater ... It was enough to me to know he had to be very far from God to walk out on his children no matter what else might be involved ... I, myself, have my doubts that this man is going to seek the Lord anytime soon ... Maybe he will and maybe he won't ... IF he does seek Him, I have no doubt that he WILL find Him, but he must first decide to seek Him ... Everyone is free to their own opinion of what this man is going to do and that is the KEY to this woman's and her children's lives ... Nobody knows what the man is going to decide, it is all each person's guess at this point what he will do ... My opinion is that he is not coming back to resolve matters in the correct manner ... That is why my recommendation has been for this woman to pick up the pieces and prepare to move forward in her life ... And for her to seek the best for her children without the man ... Obviously, a Christian father to these children would be much better than them growing up with a non-Christian father in the midst of constant fighting all of the time even if he is their biological father ...

[h=3]Matthew 12:36[/h][h=3][/h] I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#43
I may have been confusing her words with those of another thread, in that regard ... However, it has been said that he got up and walked out on his children and it has been more than two weeks and no return ... Children sitting and waiting for their father to return for MORE than two weeks ? ... You are free to form whatever opinion you may on that ... However, unto me, it is revealed that he is NOT a believer in the Lord ... To me, if he was, God would have convicted him for his actions and sent him back to his children long before now ...
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#44
Truth is often NOT in what is said, but is revealed by what is done ... I do not believe one saying they are a believer makes them a believer ... To me, a man saying he is a believer and then walking out on his children does not reveal him to be any believer ... What I believe that action reveals is that he is also a liar ... Which was already also revealed earlier by his cheating ...
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#45
I did only respond to your stupid post, and your stupid advice.

Maybe you're the troll. Maybe you're the snake that slithers it's way into others marriage. Possibly you're a shark, smells blood in the water, and comes circling. I don't know you, it's just hypotheticals.
I would like to take just a moment to address all of these "maybes" posted by this member ...

The only truth above is in the last sentence where the poster states "I don't know, it is all hypothetical" ... That is true that he does not know and exactly why none of this should have ever been posted ... It is all conjecture, gossip, speculation and it is all completely false ...

I offered for the woman to send me a personal message if she so desired ... I did not beg or coax for her to do any such thing ... I happen to know that some people are more comfortable with speaking to one person rather than speaking in a group setting ... This is why I extended the offer ... For that reason and in hopes of helping her were the only reasons for that invitation to speak privately ... For anyone to suggest anything otherwise only reveals the evil within their own minds and their own hearts ...

I want to include just a brief and true story here ...

About 7 years ago I was on a website playing spades ... A woman invited me to play a game and in that process began opening up to me about several problems within her family ... She revealed to me that her son was a terrible alcoholic and also abusing drugs ... She gave me her e-mail and I agreed to try and help her ...

I proceeded to copy and send her "through e-mail" a pamphlet containing the life story of a recovered alcoholic named Steven Curington ... The pamphlet and story are well known and available online for purchase ... At the same time of doing this, I offered to speak to her son if he was willing ... The young man was not willing, so I continued speaking with the mother ... She also revealed unto me that she and he both were not believers in Christ our Lord ... Right away I knew this was the very first thing that needed to be corrected ...

I proceeded to speak scripture to her and encouraged her to begin to read the Bible ... She did, and during Christmas I was able to encourage her to put up a Christmas tree ... To shorten the story considerably, the woman has now become a true believer in our LORD JESUS CHRIST and regularly attends a church ... She lives across the country from me and I have never seen her personally ... She has also revealed to me that her son has completely recovered from his alcoholism and is now also a Christian and attending church ... These are the exact reasons that I offered my help to her and her family and have been speaking to her via e-mail for the last 7 years ... I am so glad that the Lord helped her and that he chose to work through me to do it ... I full realize that I did nothing and everything was accomplished by God Himself ...

It is sad that people will offer gossip, lies, and all types of false accusations in order to harm another ... Obviously, that is not what Christ leads us to do ... I would love to help this woman here and her family and that is what I offered ... If she doesn't wish to speak me privately out of fear or presumption then I completely understand that ... It was merely an offer from the heart with completely good intentions ... It was not anything else ... It is sad that anyone would pretend that it was ...
 
Mar 23, 2016
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#46
I may have been confusing her words with those of another thread, in that regard ... However, it has been said that he got up and walked out on his children and it has been more than two weeks and no return ... Children sitting and waiting for their father to return for MORE than two weeks ? ... You are free to form whatever opinion you may on that ... However, unto me, it is revealed that he is NOT a believer in the Lord ... To me, if he was, God would have convicted him for his actions and sent him back to his children long before now ...
You make statements such as "unto [you] it is revealed". By whom has it been revealed to you that husband is not a believer and that God is not convicting him in his heart?

I take loverofJesus82's words as she stated them. According to her, husband is a believer and she is in a position to know. I am not going to second guess her.

loverofJesus82 has already indicated her part in the demise of the relationship and I believe her.

Having said that, the marriage relationship is threefold and consists of the Lord at the center, the husband with his heart turned toward the Lord, the wife with her heart turned toward the Lord. When our hearts are focused on the Lord, the rest of the relationships in our lives will be placed in proper perspective.

I believe the relationship between loverofJesus82 and her husband can be mended. However, this will take both of them agreeing that this is something they want to do. Only then, when both agree they want to put their marriage back together, can there be reconciliation.

And after both husband and wife decide this is what they want to do, then the steps to bring healing to the relationship can be taken.


 
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Pontiac

Guest
#47
The truth is often not easy to find ... However, it is revealed by examining facts and actions ... It is never revealed by words alone ... The Bible warns us to be aware of this in several verses ...

1 John 3:18 [SUP]18[/SUP]Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

James 2:14-17 [SUP]14[/SUP]What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? [SUP]15[/SUP]Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. [SUP]16[/SUP]If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? [SUP]17[/SUP]In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

It is the man's actions that have revealed his heart ... And it is God's word, His spirit and my willingness to accept those things that have revealed this truth unto me ...
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#48
You make statements such as "unto [you] it is revealed". By whom has it been revealed to you that husband is not a believer and that God is not convicting him in his heart?

I take loverofJesus82's words as she stated them. According to her, husband is a believer and she is in a position to know. I am not going to second guess her.

loverofJesus82 has already indicated her part in the demise of the relationship and I believe her.

Having said that, the marriage relationship is threefold and consists of the Lord at the center, the husband with his heart turned toward the Lord, the wife with her heart turned toward the Lord. When our hearts are focused on the Lord, the rest of the relationships in our lives will be placed in proper perspective.

I believe the relationship between loverofJesus82 and her husband can be mended. However, this will take both of them agreeing that this is something they want to do. Only then, when both agree they want to put their marriage back together, can there be reconciliation.

And after both husband and wife decide this is what they want to do, then the steps to bring healing to the relationship can be taken.


A marriage is not "threefold" until God is truly invited into that marriage by both the husband and the wife ... God will stay out of the marriage when people do not submit to Him and believe they can handle things themselves ... God will allow for them to struggle through that mess, if that is what they choose ... God does not force Himself into a situation ... He waits patiently until He is asked to intervene ...

For you to believe this relationship can be mended, then you must believe the man is going to submit to God and change his ways ... For, if he does not submit to God and change his ways, then it will never be mended ... With what I have heard, I do not believe the man is going to submit to God anytime soon nor change his ways anytime soon ... I base that on the seriousness of what he has done as evidence here tells me that he is very far away from God ... Now, could he get close to God very quickly, yes that is a possibility ... However, I have learned that probability rather than possibility is a much higher determining factor in what one is going to do ... So, do I believe it is "possible" for this man to come to God and change his ways anytime soon, yes ... Do I believe it is "probable" for this man to change his ways and submit to God anytime soon, no ... The words "anytime soon" hold great importance here ... I would not want this mother and these children suffering under any ungodly man's leadership for any extended period of time waiting for him to change ...
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
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Row A, Column 9
#49
This thread just rotted as soon as it began, didn't it...

(Not blaming anyone in particular, though)
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
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#50
The truth is often not easy to find ... However, it is revealed by examining facts and actions ... It is never revealed by words alone ... The Bible warns us to be aware of this in several verses ...

1 John 3:18 [SUP]18[/SUP]Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

James 2:14-17 [SUP]14[/SUP]What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? [SUP]15[/SUP]Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. [SUP]16[/SUP]If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? [SUP]17[/SUP]In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

It is the man's actions that have revealed his heart ... And it is God's word, His spirit and my willingness to accept those things that have revealed this truth unto me ...
Yep, like Pontiac planting the seeds of discord between this woman and her husband. Calling him a coward, then suggest this married woman talk to him privately.
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#51
There is something else I have learned and I will share here ... When a man is forced, coerced or pushed by others in the slightest way to come before a preacher or God for help he is normally NOT ready to receive the Lord ... It is when a man comes entirely voluntarily begging upon his hands and knees for the Lord's help that he is TRULY ready to receive JESUS ... This lady has stated that she has repented for her sins and asked God for forgiveness ... That is wonderful and she has made a tremendously wise decision in doing that ... However, that alone is not going to save any marriage ... A marriage is a partnership and both parties must submit to the Lord or there is going to be much strife ...

I have a few questions myself to ask this woman that I hope she will answer honestly ...

1) Does this man pray or give thanks before he eats ? ...
2) Has he taught his children to speak to God and repent for their sins ? ...
3) Has he taught his children to pray before bedtime or any other time ? ...
4) Does this man often speak of God or scripture in the household ? ...

I am not interested in the words of the man ... My desire is to know of his actions ...
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#52
Yep, like Pontiac planting the seeds of discord between this woman and her husband. Calling him a coward, then suggest this married woman talk to him privately.
You sir are no doubt a troublemaker ... It is you that has TROLLED this thread many, many times sowing your discord ... It is rather obvious where your heart rests ... You are much more interested in bearing false witness against another rather than actually helping anyone ... Why don't you silence yourself and allow for those truly interested in helping someone to proceed here ... You are not allowing God to guide your speech nor your heart and that is rather obvious ...
 
Mar 23, 2016
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#53
A marriage is not "threefold" until God is truly invited into that marriage by both the husband and the wife ... God will stay out of the marriage when people do not submit to Him and believe they can handle things themselves ... God will allow for them to struggle through that mess, if that is what they choose ... God does not force Himself into a situation ... He waits patiently until He is asked to intervene ...

For you to believe this relationship can be mended, then you must believe the man is going to submit to God and change his ways ... For, if he does not submit to God and change his ways, then it will never be mended ... With what I have heard, I do not believe the man is going to submit to God anytime soon nor change his ways anytime soon ... I base that on the seriousness of what he has done as evidence here tells me that he is very far away from God ... Now, could he get close to God very quickly, yes that is a possibility ... However, I have learned that probability rather than possibility is a much higher determining factor in what one is going to do ... So, do I believe it is "possible" for this man to come to God and change his ways anytime soon, yes ... Do I believe it is "probable" for this man to change his ways and submit to God anytime soon, no ... The words "anytime soon" hold great importance here ... I would not want this mother and these children suffering under any ungodly man's leadership for any extended period of time waiting for him to change ...
Again ... you do not know how or what God is working in the heart of either loverofJesus82 or her husband. God is all-encompassing and He knows exactly what is needed in order to bring reconciliation / healing to these two.


[video=youtube;qvGKAjlSWnY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvGKAjlSWnY[/video]​
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#54
I did only respond to your stupid post, and your stupid advice.

Maybe you're the troll. Maybe you're the snake that slithers it's way into others marriage. Possibly you're a shark, smells blood in the water, and comes circling. I don't know you, it's just hypotheticals.
In time, God is going to ask for you to explain your hatred and your false witness ... I saw you admit in an earlier post of how you loved to fight ... I see that is true ... But now you are not fighting with me, you are fighting with yourself and your Redeemer ...

Proverbs 19:9 [SUP]9[/SUP]A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.


Proverbs 19:5 [SUP]5[/SUP]A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will not go free.


Exodus 20:16 [SUP]16[/SUP]"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.


Exodus 23:1 [SUP]1[/SUP]"Do not spread false reports.


Deuteronomy 5:20 [SUP]20[/SUP]"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#55
Again ... you do not know how or what God is working in the heart of either loverofJesus82 or her husband. God is all-encompassing and He knows exactly what is needed in order to bring reconciliation / healing to these two.


[video=youtube;qvGKAjlSWnY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvGKAjlSWnY[/video]​
Why do you condemn me for MY opinion ? ... You also do not know what is in the heart of this man at this moment ... Is your opinion so much more valuable than another ? ... God is not going to interject Himself into that man's heart unless the man asks for His help ... God is fully capable of taking care of that woman and her children without any man present if that is of His Will ... Why does everyone think the man must be present here for the family to succeed ? ... That may be the ideal situation for the man to repent and return, but God does not require that in order for these other souls to be protected ...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
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Tennessee
#56
Why do you condemn me for MY opinion ? ... You also do not know what is in the heart of this man at this moment ... Is your opinion so much more valuable than another ? ... God is not going to interject Himself into that man's heart unless the man asks for His help ... God is fully capable of taking care of that woman and her children without any man present if that is of His Will ... Why does everyone think the man must be present here for the family to succeed ? ... That may be the ideal situation for the man to repent and return, but God does not require that in order for these other souls to be protected ...
I think that she was only trying to help you and be a peacemaker. Tommy is not a bad guy either and has endured much trouble in his life as well.

I pray that God provides clarity of thought on how to proceed in her life on whether to remain with her husband or each go their own separate ways. Her husband does have the right to remain in the lives of his children though and she would be wise not to try to alienate her children from their father despite what he has done to her.

I speak from experience of what my ex-wife put me through and how she tried to turn my daughter against me. My ex was the one who sought divorce as she said that she didn't love me anymore. I am not sure if this is true or not for the OP of this thread. Tommy could tell you a similar horror story of the hell his ex wife put him through. This has allowed him to speak from experience as well and his words should be considered regarding the OP.

I don't really believe that everyone is against you either but do believe it would be helpful to consider the feelings of others as well as your own. I'm just trying to be helpful here and it's nothing personal.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#57
In time, God is going to ask for you to explain your hatred and your false witness ... I saw you admit in an earlier post of how you loved to fight ... I see that is true ... But now you are not fighting with me, you are fighting with yourself and your Redeemer ...

Proverbs 19:9 [SUP]9[/SUP]A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will perish.


Proverbs 19:5 [SUP]5[/SUP]A false witness will not go unpunished, and whoever pours out lies will not go free.


Exodus 20:16 [SUP]16[/SUP]"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.


Exodus 23:1 [SUP]1[/SUP]"Do not spread false reports.


Deuteronomy 5:20 [SUP]20[/SUP]"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
The fighting I prefer involve my fist to face.

I tell the truth, Pontiac told a woman to shop for a new dad to another man's children, called this woman's husband a coward, and suggested this married woman to contact him privately.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#58
Why do you condemn me for MY opinion ? ... You also do not know what is in the heart of this man at this moment ... Is your opinion so much more valuable than another ? ... God is not going to interject Himself into that man's heart unless the man asks for His help ... God is fully capable of taking care of that woman and her children without any man present if that is of His Will ... Why does everyone think the man must be present here for the family to succeed ? ... That may be the ideal situation for the man to repent and return, but God does not require that in order for these other souls to be protected ...
If you admit, you don't know what is in the heart of this man, why do you call him a coward?
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#59
I think that she was only trying to help you and be a peacemaker. Tommy is not a bad guy either and has endured much trouble in his life as well.

I pray that God provides clarity of thought on how to proceed in her life on whether to remain with her husband or each go their own separate ways. Her husband does have the right to remain in the lives of his children though and she would be wise not to try to alienate her children from their father despite what he has done to her.

I speak from experience of what my ex-wife put me through and how she tried to turn my daughter against me. My ex was the one who sought divorce as she said that she didn't love me anymore. I am not sure if this is true or not for the OP of this thread. Tommy could tell you a similar horror story of the hell his ex wife put him through. This has allowed him to speak from experience as well and his words should be considered regarding the OP.

I don't really believe that everyone is against you either but do believe it would be helpful to consider the feelings of others as well as your own. I'm just trying to be helpful here and it's nothing personal.
I didn't say Tommy was a bad guy ... What I said was that what he is doing here is wrong and that is true ...

I disagree that a child should not be alienated from his/her father no matter what the father has done ... There certainly are instances where children are much better off without their fathers ... However, you are free to have the opinion that a child should always be with their father regardless of what he has done if you wish ... I just don't believe it follows common sense and will have to disagree ... I am not making any judgments here on what happened in either your marriage nor anybody elses marriage not mentioned in the post ... I do consider the feelings of others ... That is precisely why I am here trying to help this woman to see truth ... If you want to teach about someone considering the feelings of others and the making of false statements against others then you should be directing your attention at speaking with Tommy ... But as usual on this site some people are highly biased towards the regular members and newcomers do not garner the same consideration or support ... Somehow tenure is often preferred over cover common sense and truth ... That is a mistake ...
 
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Pontiac

Guest
#60
If you admit, you don't know what is in the heart of this man, why do you call him a coward?
Very simple answer ... I don't know what is in his heart today, but I know what was in his heart when he walked out on his children ... He was a coward when he made that choice ... And he will remain a coward until if and when he admits his mistake to the Lord and corrects it ... Still, you remain on here to cause strife and start trouble and refuse to listen to common sense ... Furthermore, you continue to demonstrate much malice and bear false witness ... you are not acting as a man of Christ and anyone that examines your posts here can easily see that ... But none of your friends are stepping in to help you see this ... Instead, they are just sitting by and letting you continue making the same mistakes over and over again ...