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Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: Cheating Husband

  1. #1
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    Default Cheating Husband

    I found out my husband has been talking with another woman for the last 10 years. I have always suspected something but not to the extent he would have sexual relation with this person. Anyway, I have confronted him and he has apologized and begged for another chance so I have given him Chance. Mainly because I have three kids with him and I don’t want to distroy my kids life. I am not a happy person and no matter what he does and say, I just can’t stand him. Everything about him makes me sick right now. I’m praying it will change. I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m also short with my kids any very unhappy. I really don’t know what to do. We are both Christians and I feel that I need to have more faith in God and His plan for me but at the same time I also feel I have no hope .
    Last edited by MamaAbby; April 12th, 2018 at 12:51 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Mel85's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Hi MamaAbby,

    Im sorry to hear about what’s happened. I hope you’re not just staying with him for the sake of the kids, cause I can tell you now that will make you even more miserable and unhappy. You should be staying with him if you love him and want to really work things out. Give this to God dear sister, He will direct your footsteps as it says in Proverbs.

    I will keep you in my prayers.

    Blessings.
    "For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for Him" - Philippians 1:29


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    Smile Re: Cheating Husband

    Quote Originally Posted by Mel85 View Post
    Hi MamaAbby,

    Im sorry to hear about what’s happened. I hope you’re not just staying with him for the sake of the kids, cause I can tell you now that will make you even more miserable and unhappy. You should be staying with him if you love him and want to really work things out. Give this to God dear sister, He will direct your footsteps as it says in Proverbs.

    I will keep you in my prayers.

    Blessings.
    For

    Thank you so much
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Thank you for your prayer. I don’t know why I’m still with him. I know for sure the kids have a lot to do with it but I don’t know if I still love him or not. It’s really hard to know that now. I am hurt and feel disrespected.
    Mel85 likes this.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Well, all trust between you has been destroyed. He's cheated on and lied to you for 10 years. How old are your kids? Either move out or separate but don't keep subjecting them to this baloney. Kids aren't stupid, they know what's going on. It's good you're giving him another chance, but how many more are you gonna give him? 5? 10?

    Of course he begged your forgiveness, he doesn't want to lose you and the kids. Question is, does he love you, the kids and his family enough, to permanently give up his side dishes??
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Quote Originally Posted by blue_ladybug View Post
    Well, all trust between you has been destroyed. He's cheated on and lied to you for 10 years. How old are your kids? Either move out or separate but don't keep subjecting them to this baloney. Kids aren't stupid, they know what's going on. It's good you're giving him another chance, but how many more are you gonna give him? 5? 10?

    Of course he begged your forgiveness, he doesn't want to lose you and the kids. Question is, does he love you, the kids and his family enough, to permanently give up his side dishes??

    Thank you for the advice. I have thought through all that and praying for God to show me what direction to take .
    blue_ladybug likes this.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaAbby View Post
    Thank you for your prayer. I don’t know why I’m still with him. I know for sure the kids have a lot to do with it but I don’t know if I still love him or not. It’s really hard to know that now. I am hurt and feel disrespected.
    Cheating is very damaging. It is a complete destruction of trust on nearly every level and that lack of trust is extremely difficult to heal from. It will even show up in other relationships. I would suggest rather than hoping it just gets better, or that God will magically zap things and make it better (He can, but that's not typically His method) that you be proactive in healing. I would suggest planning six more months together under the condition that regular marital counseling is attended by each other you and that your husband actively engages in what is told to him by the counselor to do to prove himself. If he quits, or is caught cheating again, then end the marriage. If he slacks off give him a reminder. If, after six months of active efforts on both of your parts to get past this, nothing changes, then separate. You're better off, in the long run, feeling confident you made every effort to fix things than wondering if you gave up too easily. Regret on such issues is impossible to recover from.
    If things are progressing in a positive manner, continue forward and see if it can be repaired.
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    What allures and arouses the heart we can't figure out
    But it's the quickest way to account for what we prize
    And are most proud about
    These gods make promises but always lie to us
    The kinds of lies that says they'll keep us safe and satisfy us
    We blame the lies outside of us
    But it's the lie that lies inside that captures the depth of desires and false messiahs

    ~Beautiful Eulogy - Messiah~


  8. #8
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Hello,am sorry for what your going through,emotional pain and heartbreak of that nauture is very devastating,you are probably going through a lot of emotions right now,anger,dissapointment,sadness,regret,betrayal,n umbness,its a lot to take.
    marriage is a covenant ,and is binding till death ,am not one to advocate for divorce,because as long we get married we are bound to face the trials and problems that arre in the world,that goes for adulturey.forgivness is a virtue that is cultivated through trial,such as what you are going through,{matthew 18:22: forgive seventy times seven times} also you question if you still love him,and that you are both christians,well,love is more than just feelings,its more of actions,{1 corinthians 13:4-7: love is kind,patient....}
    let go of the anger,GOD knows what you are going through,FORGIVE your husband,and if he sins again,FORGIVE him again,as we forgive others,GOD also forgives us...as long as he is not against your relationship with GOD or abusing you in a way that endangers your life,divorcing will also make you an ADULTERER yourself.
    only the HOLY SPIRIT can take away your anger and hurt if you only ask.we recieve not because we ask not.

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    I think i fit my trash can pretty well. My jeans are baggy. I lost weight.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    First off i am sorry to hear your Husband committed adultery. I am not married but i am a man and if i did that i would be so worried about going to hell and i would immediately repent and turn and do everything i can to get back in your good graces. So what i would do is read bible verses to him about adultery and scare him and it should scare him if he is a real born again Christian also it just came to my mind that committing adultery is a willful sin and he is in deep deep trouble Hebrew 10:26 “For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
    so your husband better be the most ignorant Christian because according to the word of god he just got a one way ticket to hell. Im sorry to tell you this but i only speak the truth and since you are my sister in Christ i am going to tell you the truth as i would tell him if i where talking to him.
    Here are some bible verses talking about adultery,
    Hebrews 13:4
    Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
    Luke 16:18
    Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
    Matthew 19:9
    And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
    Matthew 5:32
    But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
    Proverbs 6:32
    He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.
    Mark 10:11-12
    And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
    1 Corinthians 6:9-10
    Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
    Revelation 21:8
    But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

    So according to scripture a man is justified to divorce his wife if and only if she commits sexual immorality that's what scripture tells us in Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32. I will pray for you and your family that Gods will be done.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Don't you think the husband committing adultery was a willful sin and we know as Christians if a person sins willfully(does it on purpose, premeditated) there is no more forgiveness for that person. Im sure he wasn't forced to meet up in secret and to do other things i shall not say but you know what i mean.
    Hebrew 10:26

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    Default Re: Cheating Husband

    Someday... we will be made well aware of why no sin is greater than another. And we will ask forgiveness... and we will receive it in the manner we gave it.

    The best thing for you and your soul... is to ask for help in forgiving him. ... and then... gain a testimony of what love is. Hint.. it's not a feeling... it's doing. 1Corinthians 13. ... and then... start doing. And before you know it... he might start doing it too... and that leads to feeling.

    And as soon as you can... pray with him.

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