How to be a better Christian?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Apr 17, 2018
62
39
18
#1
Basically I want to be a better Christian. I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray. Last night to celebrate my 30th birthday I don't want my cousin to a bar we drank and guys grinding on me I had only done that one other time last month. This morning I woke up and I felt dirty and horrible. I feel depressed because I'm 30 years old and I live with my parents. More than anything I want to get married and have a family of my own, but I don't know what to do or where to meet anybody. So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#2
To begin with, stop going to bars. Do you have a job? If so, are you saving money up? And if not, have you looked for a job or submitted any resumes? You need to move out of your folks house before you concentrate on finding a guy to marry and having a family.
 
Apr 17, 2018
62
39
18
#3
You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I've only gone to the bars twice. I work 50 hours a week at a call center. I've only been drunk twice in my life. She took me out for my birthday I drink I woke up feeling horrible about myself.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#4
I didn't say anything about you being an alcoholic. But if you get drunk when you're there, then it would be a good idea to stop going, no matter if it's only been twice. Nothing good ever happens at bars. Your friend should have taken you to a restaurant, where you could've ordered a soft drink instead. :)

You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I've only gone to the bars twice. I work 50 hours a week at a call center. I've only been drunk twice in my life. She took me out for my birthday I drink I woke up feeling horrible about myself.
 

Noose

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2016
5,096
932
113
#5
In life, we do make mistakes once in a while more so in our youthful years, but you need to pick yourself up and focus.
Being a better Christian entails loving others and being kind to them. Love doesn't say "me, myself and i", you need to care about what others feel by your actions- your parents would have been worried but you didn't care for their feelings.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#6
Since she still lives with mom and dad, it's safe to say they probably knew where she was going for her birthday..

In life, we do make mistakes once in a while more so in our youthful years, but you need to pick yourself up and focus.
Being a better Christian entails loving others and being kind to them. Love doesn't say "me, myself and i", you need to care about what others feel by your actions- your parents would have been worried but you didn't care for their feelings.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,261
5,618
113
#7
You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I've only gone to the bars twice. I work 50 hours a week at a call center. I've only been drunk twice in my life. She took me out for my birthday I drink I woke up feeling horrible about myself.
Pray something like "Lord, yesterday I failed" Then do better today and tomorrow. Think twice before you go out drinking again even if it's a year until you are tempted to do it again. You aren't going to change the past by feeling horrible about yourself.

Waiting for a husband is one of the hardest parts of life. It sounds like you may be working too much. 50 hrs a week! Yikes!
Do you need the money? I know sometimes we don't have the control we would like over our lives. Do you have any hobbies or interests outside work? Sometimes doing an activity you enjoy can help you to meet other people with common interests.
I know the ideal thing we hope for as women is to find a Christian husband, so you tend to hope you'll meet someone at church but it doesn't always work that way.

I wish you all the best and will be happy to help you pray for a husband.
 
Last edited:

jameen

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2018
540
150
43
36
Manila
#8
Basically I want to be a better Christian. I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray. Last night to celebrate my 30th birthday I don't want my cousin to a bar we drank and guys grinding on me I had only done that one other time last month. This morning I woke up and I felt dirty and horrible. I feel depressed because I'm 30 years old and I live with my parents. More than anything I want to get married and have a family of my own, but I don't know what to do or where to meet anybody. So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?

This verse is enough

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

For example, if you want to stop being a drunkard, then never step foot in a bar or for example you want to stop watching porn then when you see a lewd scene, then stop watching it.

Always read and live by the Words of God in the Bible in order to resist the temptation of the devil.

because disobedience will lead you to shame and poverty (Proverbs 13:18)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#9
Basically I want to be a better Christian. I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray. Last night to celebrate my 30th birthday I don't want my cousin to a bar we drank and guys grinding on me I had only done that one other time last month. This morning I woke up and I felt dirty and horrible. I feel depressed because I'm 30 years old and I live with my parents. More than anything I want to get married and have a family of my own, but I don't know what to do or where to meet anybody. So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?
Ask God!

He's our ability to do good, so he's where we go to seek what he gives us.

This is kind of like asking how to be a better daughter. Keep doing what you can for your parents because you love them, talk to them because you love them, listen to them because you love them, and spend time with them because you love them.

The difference is parents don't give us a supernatural ability to do good. God does.
 

craigb9876

Junior Member
Sep 4, 2016
30
5
8
#10
Well i would say that you just need to ask god for your forgiveness he will forgive we all make mistskes we all this us just our human nature all you can do us ask for forgiveness and try to be a better christian and person from now on. For the other problems ask god what to do and if you want to move out then move out and if you want to get married just try meeting people there is literally billons of guys and i am sure a lot of them would love to marry you
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#11
Scripture provides the answer.

Ps 119:9 BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.

Fill your self with scripture and it will you change into the person you seek to be.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

Ruthwashere

Junior Member
Jan 26, 2018
16
2
0
#12
"I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray." This are great steps in your faith walk and it pleases the Lord. However, our hearts are what He truly desires. There are Leaders He's placed over us to Shepherd us and grow us in our faith journey as well as fellowship in the body of Christ. Such a huge gift from our Abba. Also praying and fasting is ideal when we are doing it for a specific reason. Your job seems demanding but I'm hoping you have some Christian women walking alongside you, time for women's bible study and even a prayer circle for encouragement and accountability. If not, I'll pray these things for you. I'm single and I used to date this guy, hoping we'd get married. However, that was not the Lord's plan for me. So after I had a "tantrum" I asked the Lord to show me how to be single. He showed me so many different ministries and I learned with discernment which ones I was passionate about and gifted for. I hope you can try different ways to serve in the church until you discover which ministry suits you. Being a better Christian is a personal journey with "JESUS, the Lover of your Soul" and the Holy Scriptures. Ask God to teach how to cultivate a personal relationship with His Son. Psalm 37:3,4 & 7! It's so true...every yummy morsel. Sister, Your God longs to gift you with your heart's desire. Enjoy this season of growing and leaning in to the voice of the Holy Spirit and each day will have you desiring more and more of Jesus. If it is the Lord's will for you to be a wife, He will present the right godly man to you in His timing. He withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightly. Forget yesterday's mistakes because GOD already has. When we repent, HE forgives and FORGETS! Begin new today. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and you have access to throne of God to bring Him your heart and your longings. Sit with Him daily and He will meet you there and comfort you, transform you and LOVE you every step of the way! A note of advice: Please don't measure your "performance" or your "spiritual maturity" with another. When we come to Him in prayer, God's Spirit will convict you in areas where you need to turn away from certain behaviors and areas where you are walking in step with Him. Pray daily asking that He will help you exhibit and live out the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and a willing heart will bear fruit for His kingdom.​
 
Last edited:
Aug 4, 2017
45
12
8
#13
There is a lot of great advice in these replies! Life in Christ is about bringing Him glory. The way the Savior says to do that is to do good works. He also says that if we "love Him, we will obey His commandments." So let's look at this logically. Do the places you go honor God and bring Him glory? Do your actions please Him? We want to please the one we love. Do you love Jesus?
That is what it is all about, sweetie, having such a love relationship with Jesus that our most fervent desire is to please and show others how wonderful life with Him is. You need to get to that point in order to be the kind of wife and mother that is what a believing man needs. In other words develop your relationship with Jesus and know who you are in Him first. Then you will be ready to be the kind of wife that a believing man needs. The wife is the heart of the home. The heart needs to be able to pump the love of Christ through her family. Read His Word so that you can get to know His wonderful heart and fall in love with Him.

Ruthwashere also has a great point that singleness is also a gift. It is a wonderful position in which to serve the God we love. I am praying that you will find your joy and fulfillment in Christ.
 
J

JB2018

Guest
#14
You woke up feeling dirty and horrible, which is a good thing. That means you felt convicted by God. So, the next step is repenting. To repent means to not just say "Lord, I repent of drinking." It means to change your behavior. God does not want "forgive me, I'm sorry" he's looking for a change in your heart. The bible says "rend your hearts and not your garments" (Joel 2:23) back then, to show a sign of mourning, grief or repentance, a person would rend their garments to show they were truly sorry. God is not looking for that anymore, he wants our hearts to be changed. Now, to become a better Christian, read the bible and obey it. This will not only help you learn what God likes/dislikes, love/hate but your relationship with him will grow.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#15
You make it sound like I'm an alcoholic. I've only gone to the bars twice. I work 50 hours a week at a call center. I've only been drunk twice in my life. She took me out for my birthday I drink I woke up feeling horrible about myself.
In my youth I got wasted a couple three times myself. I admire you working the hours that you do. As for being a better Christian I would say that a good way to start is to say the Lord's prayer each day. I am sure that you have already prayed to God for Him to search and find a loving and faithful man of your heart's desire to become your husband. As for meeting someone, this could happen at any time. Perhaps at your next trip to the grocery store you will bump into that special someone while checking out the produce. You might even meet that special someone on this site. You just never know who you are going to meet. Don't feel bad about yourself because you have great worth in the eyes of God and He has big plans for you. As for getting drunk the other night, really, who cares?
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#16
Basically I want to be a better Christian. I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray. Last night to celebrate my 30th birthday I don't want my cousin to a bar we drank and guys grinding on me I had only done that one other time last month. This morning I woke up and I felt dirty and horrible. I feel depressed because I'm 30 years old and I live with my parents. More than anything I want to get married and have a family of my own, but I don't know what to do or where to meet anybody. So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?
Happy 30th Birthday, SundayMorning88! :D




Awww dear young lady, you're a perfect Christian in God's eyes and that's all that matters to Him and to you. Jesus' Blood has made you without any blemish! I recommend taking all your cares and worries to Jesus each day and spend lots of time talking with and listening to Him in your heart. :eek: He will conform you more and more into His image. No need to beat yourself up with shame and guilt. The Lord will renew your mind day by day and your heart will feel more joy as you get to know Him personally. I pray in Jesus' name you learn to rest in His love and that your heart be set free in Him today, tomorrow and always. Blessings to you, dear sister!
 
Sep 3, 2016
6,337
527
113
#17
God has chosen to operate His work from the basis of faith. "The Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:2) is God's prescribed order of victory for the Believer over sin, the world, the flesh, and the Devil. This means that the Believer must place and maintain proper Faith the size of a mustard seed exclusively in Christ and the Cross of Calvary, i.e., The Finished Work, i.e., The Blood of Jesus, where the victory was won so that His life would be lived through you. This gives the Holy Spirit the legal means to help and do what is needed to be done in the Believers life because the Believer is glorifying Christ, God's beloved Son in whom He is pleased. You are now operating in the spirit. No Believer can fix the flesh with the flesh. All fruits that are added to the leaves of the Believer most be done by the Holy Spirit or you enter the works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21).

The Holy Spirit doesn't require much of us, but He does require one thing, and without reservation.

Our Faith must be exclusively be in Christ and the Cross; understanding that this is God's Prescribed Order of Victory (Rom. 8:2).

The Holy Spirit works strictly within the parameters of the "Finished Work" i.e., "The Cross of Christ" i.e., "The Blood of Jesus;" which demands that our Faith be placed and maintained exclusively in the Cross of Christ. The reason is simple, that's were the price was paid, and the victory was forever won (Romans 6:1-14; 1 Cor. 2:2; Gal. 5; Gal. 6:14; Eph. 2:13-18; Col. 2:14-15).

Victory over sin: Romans 8:2
Victory over the world: Galatians 6:14; 1 John 5:4
Victory over the flesh: Galatians 5:24
Victory over the Devil:
Hebrews 2:14; Colossians 2:15

The Apostle Paul makes it very clear in Romans 8:10 that the physical body, mind / intellect, and the heart (which is evil - Jeremiah 17:9) has been rendered helpless because of the original sin; consequently, the Believer trying to overcome by willpower presents a fruitless task. Only the Holy Spirit can mortify the deeds of the flesh and make us what we ought to be (Romans 8:13). This means we cannot do it ourselves. Once again, He performs all that He does within the confines of the Finished Work of Christ (
Romans 8:2).

If a Christian will and their efforts to live for God is in anything except Christ and the Cross, i.e., Finished Work, The Blood of Jesus (Romans 8:2), Satan can override your will and force you to do things you don't want to do and trying not to do (Ephesians 6:12). Jesus said deny yourself and pick up your cross and follow me (Luke 9:23).

Remember our bodies are dead and useless to God. The heart is prone to wander away from God's love and eat from "The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil." The reason why the body is dead is because of the effects of the fall has made us totally incapable of yielding spiritual obedience on a regular basis (Jeremiah 13:23). So there must be a source outside of myself that helps me to enter into sanctification which is the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:13).

Note: The Believer must repent not just for the bad they are doing, but also for the good they are doing. Why? Because the Believer can depend on the good to get them through (Jer. 6:13-15). Good things will always follow right living. However, that is not God's way. His way is Faith exclusively in Christ and His Finished Work (Rev. 3:17-22).

How does a Believer maintain Faith exclusively in Christ and the Cross? By just believing in Jesus (who He is - John 1:1-14) and what He accomplished at Calvary Cross where the victory was one. Romans 4:5 - Galatians 2:19-21 NKJV - 1 Corinthians 1:18-25 NKJV - Colossians 2:11-15 NKJV

JSM
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#18
be a better servant and make obedience to Jesus a priority...
 

Waggles

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2017
3,338
1,261
113
South
adelaiderevival.com
#19
So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?
Obedience to the teachings of Jesus and be taught by the epistles.

Baptism by full immersion
Baptism of the Holy Spirit, for it is only through the power
of the indwelling Holy Spirit and in praying in the Spirit that
one can truly be an overcomer, and walk in the Spirit.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#20
Basically I want to be a better Christian. I'm going to church every Sunday, I fast and I pray. Last night to celebrate my 30th birthday I don't want my cousin to a bar we drank and guys grinding on me I had only done that one other time last month. This morning I woke up and I felt dirty and horrible. I feel depressed because I'm 30 years old and I live with my parents. More than anything I want to get married and have a family of my own, but I don't know what to do or where to meet anybody. So this morning I woke up and I just prayed. How can I be a better Christian?

Dont take this the wrong way as I don’t mean it to sound bad, but..

there is a lot of “I” in the above statement. I can’t see anything in there about God.

Often people in trying to be a “good Christian” people become human “doings” and forget
to be human “beings”. God wants to have true fellowship with you!

Sometimes we want God to do His thing in our lives, but our lives are so full of ourselves and
what we want, that God is pushed out of the picture.

God cant work in your life if you don’t let Him!

Going to church, praying and fasting doesn’t necessarily mean you have a good
relationship with God. That may sound strange but there are plenty of “religious”
people out there who do all that and still don’t know God.

Look at the story of Mary and Martha, they both knew Jesus, one was so busy with
the concerns of life that they missed out on having a close walk with Jesus. While the
other wanted nothing more than being with Jesus.

By the way I’m still trying to learn this myself! Oddly enough it’s always easy to
see it in others but less so in yourself!

Luke 10:38-42 NKJV
[38] Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village;
and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.
[39] And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and
heard His word. [40] But Martha was distracted with much serving,
and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that
my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."
[41] And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are
worried and troubled about many things. [42] But one thing is needed,
and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."