Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 28
Like Tree12Likes

Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: What to do next..

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default What to do next..

    Hi everyone. So my son was diagnosed with autism. I hve been praying for the Lord to help me, lately he has been outburst and crying all of the time. I cry sometimes , BecUse I feel at times he doesn’t like me, or something.i pray with him, pray for him. I know he’s a 3 year old and we’re working with him and therapist. I have never had great patience and struggle without anger, the Lord is helping me on. I just wonder do you all have any advice on this? Or children with autism. The most important thing I worry about my toddlers are them being saved and knowing God for themselves. Sorry as always I feel I ramble when I post. Thanks for reading
    tourist likes this.
    The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
    Proverbs 9:10.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 19th, 2011
    Age
    42
    Posts
    20,409
    Rep Power
    260

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Hi. You aren't rambling, you're explaining your situation.
    I don't know much, but I may know someone I can ask. I'll see if they can share anything.
    Angela53510 and tourist like this.
    What allures and arouses the heart we can't figure out
    But it's the quickest way to account for what we prize
    And are most proud about
    These gods make promises but always lie to us
    The kinds of lies that says they'll keep us safe and satisfy us
    We blame the lies outside of us
    But it's the lie that lies inside that captures the depth of desires and false messiahs

    ~Beautiful Eulogy - Messiah~


  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Thank you! Thanks for even replying.
    Ugly likes this.
    The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
    Proverbs 9:10.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Depleted's Avatar
    Join Date
    December 13th, 2015
    Age
    62
    Posts
    22,175
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    509

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    Hi everyone. So my son was diagnosed with autism. I hve been praying for the Lord to help me, lately he has been outburst and crying all of the time. I cry sometimes , BecUse I feel at times he doesn’t like me, or something.i pray with him, pray for him. I know he’s a 3 year old and we’re working with him and therapist. I have never had great patience and struggle without anger, the Lord is helping me on. I just wonder do you all have any advice on this? Or children with autism. The most important thing I worry about my toddlers are them being saved and knowing God for themselves. Sorry as always I feel I ramble when I post. Thanks for reading
    My brother is autistic. My father is OCD. Of course it goes to our emotions that they don't express love like neurotypicals. How can it not? We're neurotypicals, so expect neurotypical responses!

    I had an advantage over you though. I grew up in a time when "autism" and "OCD" weren't words. So, I had to observe carefully to figure them out. My brother was/has never told me he cares about me one way or the other. He has shown it though. As kids, he let me follow him to catch reptiles at the park. (Big brothers do not typically let little sisters follow gracefully.) As adults, he gave me holy-cow kind of money at our wedding, when he was in financial straights. AND, he goes out of his way to visit me for a little bit before he travels up the coast further. He still doesn't say much. (We don't talk on the phone, because I can't talk enough to make up for his silence, but funny thing. Because he doesn't talk much, the entire room shuts up when they hear his first word. lol) But I've clued into the small hints over the years too. You can too, if you take the time to observe.

    I see you having an autistic son as God's long-term boot camp. You may not understand your son yet, but you love him mightily already. God's going to give you decades of training on how to love, patience, (I STILL hate patience lol), and so much more all in the form of a boy who will become a man you can admire.

    As for what he's doing for your son? I suspect you'll figure that out as the years go by. He's not a mistake. Nothing wrong with him. He's just different! And viva-la-difference! Because life is boring when everything is the same.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by Depleted View Post
    My brother is autistic. My father is OCD. Of course it goes to our emotions that they don't express love like neurotypicals. How can it not? We're neurotypicals, so expect neurotypical responses!

    I had an advantage over you though. I grew up in a time when "autism" and "OCD" weren't words. So, I had to observe carefully to figure them out. My brother was/has never told me he cares about me one way or the other. He has shown it though. As kids, he let me follow him to catch reptiles at the park. (Big brothers do not typically let little sisters follow gracefully.) As adults, he gave me holy-cow kind of money at our wedding, when he was in financial straights. AND, he goes out of his way to visit me for a little bit before he travels up the coast further. He still doesn't say much. (We don't talk on the phone, because I can't talk enough to make up for his silence, but funny thing. Because he doesn't talk much, the entire room shuts up when they hear his first word. lol) But I've clued into the small hints over the years too. You can too, if you take the time to observe.

    I see you having an autistic son as God's long-term boot camp. You may not understand your son yet, but you love him mightily already. God's going to give you decades of training on how to love, patience, (I STILL hate patience lol), and so much more all in the form of a boy who will become a man you can admire.

    As for what he's doing for your son? I suspect you'll figure that out as the years go by. He's not a mistake. Nothing wrong with him. He's just different! And viva-la-difference! Because life is boring when everything is the same.
    Thank you for your reply. Yeah, it’s really interesting he definitely shows us love when he wants too. He will randomly kiss us or hug us and want to be cuddled. I know he can’t talk very much so he gets so frustrated when he can’t communicate properly. I love him very much, just sometimes it’s very very hard.

    Your brother is so sweet for that! I pray one day my son can do a lot of things like youR brother. Another thing, my youngest is teaching my oldest things and words is so funny! I definitely feel God blessed me with an autistic to teach me some things and show me. I’m willing and ready to learn! God knows my patience is not the best. I know with His help I’ll get there.

    Thanks again for taking th time to reply and your great advice!
    longtrekker likes this.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Angela53510's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 24th, 2011
    Age
    64
    Posts
    9,819
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    393

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Autism is not a death sentence. I have one grandson with autism, and he is incredibly special. He has strengths and weaknesses like any child. He can be very affectionate. He can have bad temper tantrums. Well, so did I growing up, and I am not autistic.

    Which is to say, love your son, do the extra things the therapists show you to do. Read him Bible stories, pray with him and for him. Trust God for his salvation. 3 is a little young to be worrying about whether God will save him. But never too young to lay a foundation. And do read about autism, and get in contact with other parents with children with autism. Support really helps.

    Realize that all children are a gift from God, and that God loves your son more than you do! You are going to be fine! It is always a shock to learn something is different. But you will adjust.
    DaveTheRave likes this.
    "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Cor. 12:9 NASB

  7. #7
    Senior Member DaveTheRave's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 28th, 2014
    Age
    20
    Posts
    125
    Rep Power
    6

    Default Re: What to do next..

    I will be praying for you and your family as I'm sure this is quite hard for you guys. My mother works with kids with Autism and I pray for God-given patience and peace and that He will guide in the right thing to do in every situation and for comfort when it feels frustrating or difficult.

    God Bless,
    Dave

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by Angela53510 View Post
    Autism is not a death sentence. I have one grandson with autism, and he is incredibly special. He has strengths and weaknesses like any child. He can be very affectionate. He can have bad temper tantrums. Well, so did I growing up, and I am not autistic.

    Which is to say, love your son, do the extra things the therapists show you to do. Read him Bible stories, pray with him and for him. Trust God for his salvation. 3 is a little young to be worrying about whether God will save him. But never too young to lay a foundation. And do read about autism, and get in contact with other parents with children with autism. Support really helps.

    Realize that all children are a gift from God, and that God loves your son more than you do! You are going to be fine! It is always a shock to learn something is different. But you will adjust.
    Thank you Angela! I do appreciate that. I feel is just hard sometimes, but I love him and my youngest dearly. As a mom I worry sometimes about things.

    Thank you for yoi reply and your encouragement! I know God has a plan for him I trust Him
    tourist likes this.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTheRave View Post
    I will be praying for you and your family as I'm sure this is quite hard for you guys. My mother works with kids with Autism and I pray for God-given patience and peace and that He will guide in the right thing to do in every situation and for comfort when it feels frustrating or difficult.

    God Bless,
    Dave
    Thank you Dave. I definitely need the prayers I appreciate that. God Bless Your mom I know it can be tough sometimes.
    tourist likes this.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 14th, 2018
    Age
    54
    Posts
    3
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: What to do next..

    It is completely understandable that you would worry about your son. We worry about "normal" children. I know that you are concerned about him having a relationship with God. This is my belief on the subject, Jesus tells us that even the rocks can be children of God. We have songs about creation worshiping God, and I believe that even if a person can't speak, or communicate with other humans, they can communicate with God. I believe this because I have seen it and I know people with Non-verbal autistic children who have done the same thing. We played different genres of music to see if they can communicate through music and they all respond to the old hymns and other Christian music. It will frequently calm them. It amazes me to see these children who seemed to be closed from the world, respond to praise and worship music. Maybe this article which is a testimony to someone who communicates through music will help.Perhaps you would be interested in Andrea Gutierrez's series on raising special needs children. It really opened my eyes about setting boundaries.

  11. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    September 15th, 2017
    Age
    55
    Posts
    22
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Hi there, It is tough, and you are normal to feel overwhelmed! Your post is not rambling, it is clear and concise, give yourself grace and positive feed back. Don't negate yourself or tear yourself down, you are worth listening to and your heart matters. I am praying with you in this challenge, and it will be tough for a long time, but God is with you and will guide and strengthen you. I have an Aunt that adopted a child that later became clearly nonverbal autistic, it has been hard for her and her kids but it taught them unconditional love like no other experience could. Your son loves and needs you but is not able to show it to you, and his reactions do not have the added benefit of a filter, so his immediate wants come out without please, or thank you or putting others first or letting you know he loves you and appreciates you caring for him, but it is in there, hidden and garbled in his mind. It's ok to cry and even be angry at God sometimes. He has big shoulders and can handle our emotions, knowing how tough it is for you. He is in God's loving hands and God will not let him fall or be lost, God knows and cares for him even more than you can. He is the Lord's. Just continue singing songs from your childhood memories and he will feel your heart in them and they will be planted into his heart. Singing soothes even the savage beast so it will soothe both you and your son. If you don't sing, put quiet calming music on thru the house to impart that spirit to both of you. Praying for you!

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by susanv1994 View Post
    It is completely understandable that you would worry about your son. We worry about "normal" children. I know that you are concerned about him having a relationship with God. This is my belief on the subject, Jesus tells us that even the rocks can be children of God. We have songs about creation worshiping God, and I believe that even if a person can't speak, or communicate with other humans, they can communicate with God. I believe this because I have seen it and I know people with Non-verbal autistic children who have done the same thing. We played different genres of music to see if they can communicate through music and they all respond to the old hymns and other Christian music. It will frequently calm them. It amazes me to see these children who seemed to be closed from the world, respond to praise and worship music. Maybe this article which is a testimony to someone who communicates through music will help.Perhaps you would be interested in Andrea Gutierrez's series on raising special needs children. It really opened my eyes about setting boundaries.
    Thank you! I will definitely read the article I appreciate that. Also, he loves worship music he will jump around or move his head. I have said that before or had the thought, that even when people can’t communicate with other people they do with God. It makes me happy to know he communicates with God I feel that’s the most important communication he can have

  13. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by KimmyO View Post
    Hi there, It is tough, and you are normal to feel overwhelmed! Your post is not rambling, it is clear and concise, give yourself grace and positive feed back. Don't negate yourself or tear yourself down, you are worth listening to and your heart matters. I am praying with you in this challenge, and it will be tough for a long time, but God is with you and will guide and strengthen you. I have an Aunt that adopted a child that later became clearly nonverbal autistic, it has been hard for her and her kids but it taught them unconditional love like no other experience could. Your son loves and needs you but is not able to show it to you, and his reactions do not have the added benefit of a filter, so his immediate wants come out without please, or thank you or putting others first or letting you know he loves you and appreciates you caring for him, but it is in there, hidden and garbled in his mind. It's ok to cry and even be angry at God sometimes. He has big shoulders and can handle our emotions, knowing how tough it is for you. He is in God's loving hands and God will not let him fall or be lost, God knows and cares for him even more than you can. He is the Lord's. Just continue singing songs from your childhood memories and he will feel your heart in them and they will be planted into his heart. Singing soothes even the savage beast so it will soothe both you and your son. If you don't sing, put quiet calming music on thru the house to impart that spirit to both of you. Praying for you!
    Thank you, your reply made me cry. Thank you for your encouragement. It is tough you know, I think as parents we have our own agenda or plan for our children. Is not my plan or agenda it’s Gods and Gods alone, and sometimes I forget that. When he hugs me and kisses me it makes my day, when he falls out screams and cries I end up crying. So I’m learning, praying and trusting God simply through this all, thank you for praying I need it. God Bless you!

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    February 28th, 2016
    Age
    69
    Posts
    7,335
    Rep Power
    205

    Default Re: What to do next..

    old school', we ALL had family members who, including ourselves who went OUT of CONTROL
    at different times in our 'walk of life' - way back, it was just accepted that 'they/we were different',
    and we just 'over-looked' most all of it...

    today, the media has put 'letters' on all that they perceive as 'wrong/right,' in their minds...

    we're either expressing ourselves/lives through God or satan, - the scripture says,
    'That he who commits sin is of the devil'...

    READ your BIBLE...Find yourself, who you really are...

  15. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    September 15th, 2017
    Age
    55
    Posts
    22
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: What to do next..

    You are so welcome! So glad you reached out! Sometimes it just helps to let it out and talk w others about it all. Altho it is natural to take it personally when he cries and screams, probably he is mad at himself for not being able to communicate clearly. Yes, God has a plan for him and for you thru it all, and loves you both so dearly! It is a battle for him too, your son. God bless you both thru it, and it will get easier. <3

  16. #16
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    January 27th, 2017
    Age
    53
    Posts
    5
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Hi,
    Just remember first off that your son is STILL the same little boy you loved BEFORE the diagnosis. The diagnosis can lead to answers (and more questions!) as well as help and support for him and the family but he's still the same kiddo you've loved the last 3 years! My son has autism, he was not diagnosed until he was 9 1/2, he just turned 22. I think sometimes God gives those of us without patience something to learn patience - as you're finding out and I found out!!! You will experience great joy with your son but, there will be times you just cry....it's hard but prayer and understanding helps a LOT. Be sure to get all the supports and therapy available for him as it WILL help. Even though my son wasn't diagnosed until he was 9 1/2, he is doing well. He is still "quirky", and still has anxiety issues but overall he is able to function on his own as an adult and has a very strong faith in the Lord. I would suggest reading some books on autism (Tony Atwood is great) but overall, you're doing the right thing by starting with prayer!
    Leslie

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    Hi everyone. So my son was diagnosed with autism. I hve been praying for the Lord to help me, lately he has been outburst and crying all of the time. I cry sometimes , BecUse I feel at times he doesn’t like me, or something.i pray with him, pray for him. I know he’s a 3 year old and we’re working with him and therapist. I have never had great patience and struggle without anger, the Lord is helping me on. I just wonder do you all have any advice on this? Or children with autism. The most important thing I worry about my toddlers are them being saved and knowing God for themselves. Sorry as always I feel I ramble when I post. Thanks for reading

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by oldethennew View Post
    old school', we ALL had family members who, including ourselves who went OUT of CONTROL
    at different times in our 'walk of life' - way back, it was just accepted that 'they/we were different',
    and we just 'over-looked' most all of it...

    today, the media has put 'letters' on all that they perceive as 'wrong/right,' in their minds...

    we're either expressing ourselves/lives through God or satan, - the scripture says,
    'That he who commits sin is of the devil'...

    READ your BIBLE...Find yourself, who you really are...
    Thank you God Bless you

  18. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by KimmyO View Post
    You are so welcome! So glad you reached out! Sometimes it just helps to let it out and talk w others about it all. Altho it is natural to take it personally when he cries and screams, probably he is mad at himself for not being able to communicate clearly. Yes, God has a plan for him and for you thru it all, and loves you both so dearly! It is a battle for him too, your son. God bless you both thru it, and it will get easier. <3
    Thank you! Yes he’s a loving child he just can’t talk really and I know it gets to him which makes me sad. I just keep reading the Bible and praying with them. Thanks again for The encouragement

  19. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    December 26th, 2017
    Age
    26
    Posts
    255
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by MomLeslieM View Post
    Hi,
    Just remember first off that your son is STILL the same little boy you loved BEFORE the diagnosis. The diagnosis can lead to answers (and more questions!) as well as help and support for him and the family but he's still the same kiddo you've loved the last 3 years! My son has autism, he was not diagnosed until he was 9 1/2, he just turned 22. I think sometimes God gives those of us without patience something to learn patience - as you're finding out and I found out!!! You will experience great joy with your son but, there will be times you just cry....it's hard but prayer and understanding helps a LOT. Be sure to get all the supports and therapy available for him as it WILL help. Even though my son wasn't diagnosed until he was 9 1/2, he is doing well. He is still "quirky", and still has anxiety issues but overall he is able to function on his own as an adult and has a very strong faith in the Lord. I would suggest reading some books on autism (Tony Atwood is great) but overall, you're doing the right thing by starting with prayer!
    Leslie
    Thank you Leslie,

    Glad to know your child is doing so well. I think I worry about that so much I know he’s just 3, I think about how m functioning and doing everyday things. I don’t regret him at all or the choice that he has autism everything for a reason. I thank you for encouragement as well, all of it helps me truly. Therapy has been doing well he’s startinf to talk more and say Amen after prayer so those make me really excited to God be the glory

  20. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    January 27th, 2017
    Age
    53
    Posts
    5
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: What to do next..

    Quote Originally Posted by TrustingGod4life View Post
    Thank you Leslie,

    Glad to know your child is doing so well. I think I worry about that so much I know he’s just 3, I think about how m functioning and doing everyday things. I don’t regret him at all or the choice that he has autism everything for a reason. I thank you for encouragement as well, all of it helps me truly. Therapy has been doing well he’s startinf to talk more and say Amen after prayer so those make me really excited to God be the glory
    I'm so glad therapy is going well and you're already seeing some improvement! God is at work in your son! I worried too when mine was younger (and at times still do) but I just tried to continue to put him into God's hands and trust. Praying you find that peace also!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast