Hi there,
I was just wondering what your reasons were for wanting a little girl so much--not that there is anything wrong with wanting a daughter, but I read a very interesting article last year that really stuck out in my mind.
The article was about a woman who very badly wanted a daughter because of how close she was with her mother and wanted that same bond with a daughter of her own. Having a girl became an obsession for her--she went through numerous medical treatments (after having a second son--she said she was depressed and upset during the entire pregnancy because of knowing it was another boy), married another man, then eventually, had not one, but two daughters--one was adopted from another country, another was by birth.
Dream come true, right? Nope. Neither of her daughters are into princess outfits, tea parties, painting their nails, or ANYTHING this woman had dreamed of doing with her daughters. Both girls are tomboys who would rather get dirty outside than play house or try on cute little-girl outfits, as this woman had dreamed. She expressed not only disappointment, but resentment as well.
I am NOT trying to say that you are at all like this, but for me, it was a huge lesson in contentment, and a reminder that just because we get what we want does not mean it will be what we pictured.
I can relate to what Iraasuup is saying in many ways--I have no sisters (though I now have two beautiful sisters-in-law), and I had pictured a cute little family someday that included a daughter. It is especially hurtful to me because I am adopted and have no biological relatives, and if I never have children, which is what the picture seems to be, I will never have anyone who might possibly "look like me" or resemble me in any way. I know biological ties aren't a guarantee, but I at least wanted to try.
But I find myself here with the next milestone age being 40 and not all that far away... People said, "You have plenty of time," but they said that 11 years ago when my husband left to chase his own dream as well (another woman), and the time has steadily passed.
I have no boyfriend, let alone husband or even prospective significant other... and it really does sting to think of myself without the family I had hoped for.
However, painful and yes, sometimes as unfair as it may seem... I have to believe God has other plans... and I pray that He will help you through the process of finding your own purpose as well--with three little boys, you surely have a good start .
I pray that your marriage will endure, that maybe your husband will be open to your heart's cries, and if it is not meant to be, that God will help you through and satisfy your heart's longing in other ways.
