A question for married people...

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Ancilla

Guest
#21
I have been married almost 5 years (it will be 5 yrs this october) and it is hard work!! There are times I wish I could have the last 5 years of my life back.
That's what I meant when I asked if you can love your husband without loving being married. It's kind of like how you can love your kids without always loving being a mom or loving how much work they are.
 
F

Forgiven83

Guest
#22
I wasn't a Christian when I got married, and neither was my husband....we have both come to the Lord since then (me first, him two years later) and I spose I would say a LOT to myself at that age.....

1. God really does have the whole dating thing under control...seriously he does.....
2. Life is NOT a hollywood movie....and my expectations have to come from reality NOT fiction!!!!!
3. All that anxiety over my hubbie coming to the Lord was a complete waste of time...DONT STRESS!!!!
4. Ur seriously doing the right thing....trust me!

I lost my family when I married my husband because they didnt agree with it, and thank GOD in heaven that I found my family in Christ and didn't listen to my abusive, unhealthy birth family. I look back on my single days and think to myself THANK GOD THATS OVER!!!!! and thats because I have a really great marriage!!! But I spose its also because I was truly ready to be married, and have been for a really long time, so being single was pretty awful for me. God knew what he was doing, and He knew what I needed when I needed it most. And the rest, they say is history....

5 years married this coming friday and have never been happier in my whole life...not necessarily because I'm married but because I am exactly where God wants me to be with who God wants me to be WITH :D
 
L

Lady_Karen

Guest
#23
Both my husband & I have been married to each other for ... 31 years { as of April 1st this year } we have gone through a lot of things over the years and we have gotten through each of them too it's a really hard thing to keep a marriage alive these days but we seem to be very happy.

We get away as much as we can ... Which means away from home, computers, phones, cell phones & work ... ok I take that back we do have a phone in our room { hotel room } and we do have our cell phone for EMERGENCY USE ... but the other stuff it's nice to get away from time to time ... as we do get away in the spring & in the fall of each year.

This year we are going away ... spring 2 times because this month we went away for our anniversary and then next month for my oldest son's college graduation so ... it will be a lot of fun to be alone and have time for us ... then in October we are going away to a nice little inn that we found which serves some really good food and has some wonderful walking trails.

We do share in our BIBLE READING too and that has always kept us together as if I had a problem I ah would go to him and ask ... and he has been there to help me !!!

So, if your married ... keep things alive ....

~ Have date nights ... go out and be with each other
~ Bring home some flowers or dinner for you & your wife
~ Go for walks ... even if it means walking down the end of the block & home again ... do it !!
~ Read together ... share things ...
~ Have a date night at home w/ your husband / wife & find a sitter for the kids
~ Celebrate the little things ... birthday, anniversary ... the day you got engaged

Just have fun with life ...
 
Apr 13, 2009
4
0
0
#24
being a married people for me here in philippines,that is very sacred on espiritual ,i am a christian and a roman catholic so if you are decide to go married, you must deep think on that situation so that no one regrets.
 
T

texasmom

Guest
#25
I wish I had know that even after 29 years people can change to the point of not knowing them. I married the most understanding, kind, loving, attentive, interesting man I had ever met, but within the past few months he has changed into a monster. Can't speak to him, don't know what has come over him, but it hurts and it is scarey.
 
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nanabean

Guest
#26
I wish I had know that even after 29 years people can change to the point of not knowing them. I married the most understanding, kind, loving, attentive, interesting man I had ever met, but within the past few months he has changed into a monster. Can't speak to him, don't know what has come over him, but it hurts and it is scarey.
I have always said that if my hubby had started out our marriage by hitting me, that I would have hit him back!!! (hahha) but that if he would start hitting me now (after 20+ years .....23 now) I would get him help!!! cuz that's just simply NOT him!!! Seriously....maybe your husband needs some help?? professional help?? because if he has changed that drastically in "the past few months"..something must be up......I will pray for you and him both, that answers will be found as to why this sudden change of behavior......(not suggesting he is hitting you....but...well you said "monster" and that you find it "scarey"......) I pray you can talk to him, reminding him of how much you cherish how "understanding, kind, loving, attentive, and interesting" you have always found him to be, and that this change in attitude and/or behavior is hurting you now...that you don't know where it is coming from and that you hope he can get some help.......God Bless you and I will pray....
 
U

uhanna

Guest
#27
marriage is endowed upon us by god power to be away of evils and have our pair
 
B

BearRivers

Guest
#28
That there was one that was so perfect in my future that I could not believe. It's not always what I want but God has showed me how blesssed I am over the last 26 years.
Bear
 

iwant2serve

Senior Member
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#29
1. To know that you will agree to disagree
2. Respect the other person's space
3. You have to keep your mouth shut
4. The most imoprtant If two people really want to be together nothing they go through can break them apart.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#30
That I had gotten to know his family better. You will not only gain a husband but his family also. You can learn alot about your mate by knowing his family. Also the best advice I was given, how well do you do projects together, IE.. fix a car, paint a room, work together. Marrige requires alot of work so make sure you can work together. Of course, keeping a relationship with the Lord together, forget to do this and it will bring difficulty to you life. The great gift of mariage is that you always have two gathered in his name. Godbless, pickles
 
M

majamabr

Guest
#31
What a great question! And I think I could write for two days with no breaks about this. I think the biggest thing we have learned is that everything is a partnership. A couple of years ago, my husband and I had some serious problems. We almost divorced. And we only have God to thank for delivering us from our own selfishness.

I think as long as both partners in the marriage are putting their partner first, marriage will be happy and successful. Take the "I" out of "Marriage"!
 
Z

zeromantic

Guest
#32
Be ready for your partner AND yourself to change over time, and be tuned in to those changes. And be aware of the fact that the odds are they will be some combination of their parents in both looks and personality in the futre too.

And support your spouse in what they're doing--they get enough pushback from the rest of the planet.
 
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nanabean

Guest
#33
zeromantic;42717[B said:
]Be ready for your partner AND yourself to change over time, and be tuned in to those changes.[/B] And be aware of the fact that the odds are they will be some combination of their parents in both looks and personality in the futre too.

And support your spouse in what they're doing--they get enough pushback from the rest of the planet.
Amen and Amen!!! I completely agree!! Be ready for changes within you both....but do not go into a marriage thinking you will change the other!! Changes can be embraced as long as you go forward together and enjoy what each has to offer the relationship.