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A
See, here's a few things I've been told about marriage. Let me know if you agree:
1. You can do everything God's way and find "the one" but it doesn't make that person perfectly compatable. There's will still be lots of work learning to live with the one God has made for you.*
2. Even the most godly marriage from start to finish is not immune to hard times. I think as singles it's so easy for us to look at the tough things married people go through and say, "Well, they must have been not doing things God's way. That's not going to happen to me!" I mean, my dad's cousin got a divorce. She's a Christian and her husband was too at one point. I'm sure she's made mistakes, but I'm not sure she's made any mistakes that I wouldn't have made in her situation. And yes, that is kind of a scary thought for me.
3. My sister said that when you're a newly wed you have to get used to seeing how you're husband behaves when you're not around. She said that when you're dating, every moment together is special and so you're content just to stare into each other's eyes. BUT, after you're married you can't be doing that 24/7 and so you eventually have to see him playing his Xbox. Or in other words, when you're dating you're always the centre of his attention, but after marriage he can't maintain that all the time. That's not a bad thing, it's just one of the many adjustments.
4. As a teen you're (or at least I was) told so much "Don't have sex until you're married, then after you get married everything will be perfect." But that does not mean that all your sexual temptations vanish on your wedding day. It wasn't until I heard of people being married and being surprised that they still had struggles with lust that I realized how much I took for granted that sexual temptation is something that only plauges the unmarried. I now think of learning to surrender one's sexual temptations to God as all part of being an adult, married or unmarried.
5. Being totally in love with someone doesn't mean you'll always agree, and you won't ever think "Why can't he just see things my way!!"
6. Having a good husband is not a substitute for having a good girl friend, or substitue for another important non-spouse relationship. He's a man, not a Swiss Army Knife.
7. Being in love with your husband doesn't mean you'll never say "Eeww... what a boy!!" about any of his bad habits. Is that true? Does your husband ever remind you why you thought boys were gross when you were 7?
8. I've heard it's possible to be totally in love with your husband and not totally love being married. Is that possible?
*By the way, I believe that just because it's God will for two people to be married, it doesn't mean they are "made for each other." I think we are made for God alone.
1. You can do everything God's way and find "the one" but it doesn't make that person perfectly compatable. There's will still be lots of work learning to live with the one God has made for you.*
2. Even the most godly marriage from start to finish is not immune to hard times. I think as singles it's so easy for us to look at the tough things married people go through and say, "Well, they must have been not doing things God's way. That's not going to happen to me!" I mean, my dad's cousin got a divorce. She's a Christian and her husband was too at one point. I'm sure she's made mistakes, but I'm not sure she's made any mistakes that I wouldn't have made in her situation. And yes, that is kind of a scary thought for me.
3. My sister said that when you're a newly wed you have to get used to seeing how you're husband behaves when you're not around. She said that when you're dating, every moment together is special and so you're content just to stare into each other's eyes. BUT, after you're married you can't be doing that 24/7 and so you eventually have to see him playing his Xbox. Or in other words, when you're dating you're always the centre of his attention, but after marriage he can't maintain that all the time. That's not a bad thing, it's just one of the many adjustments.
4. As a teen you're (or at least I was) told so much "Don't have sex until you're married, then after you get married everything will be perfect." But that does not mean that all your sexual temptations vanish on your wedding day. It wasn't until I heard of people being married and being surprised that they still had struggles with lust that I realized how much I took for granted that sexual temptation is something that only plauges the unmarried. I now think of learning to surrender one's sexual temptations to God as all part of being an adult, married or unmarried.
5. Being totally in love with someone doesn't mean you'll always agree, and you won't ever think "Why can't he just see things my way!!"
6. Having a good husband is not a substitute for having a good girl friend, or substitue for another important non-spouse relationship. He's a man, not a Swiss Army Knife.
7. Being in love with your husband doesn't mean you'll never say "Eeww... what a boy!!" about any of his bad habits. Is that true? Does your husband ever remind you why you thought boys were gross when you were 7?
8. I've heard it's possible to be totally in love with your husband and not totally love being married. Is that possible?
*By the way, I believe that just because it's God will for two people to be married, it doesn't mean they are "made for each other." I think we are made for God alone.
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C
1. Just because I don't like him all the time, does not mean I don't love him.
2. I still have to kiss him, even if he does have morning breath.
3. I have to wash his socks and underware.
4. It is not always a love afair.
5. It is not ok, to wish that I can chock him silly. Or better yet I can think it, just don't it.
6. I did say better or worse!!!!!
7. He did not come with an instruction manual, and if I came with one, he would not read it any way!!!!
8. Some times he will love the WII game company more than me!
9. Think before you say anything.
10.Chips are a vegtable according to him!
I am just being real!!! We have been married for 18 years. Now one make me smile harder, no one can make me cry harder, no one can make me feel like this man. He is my mate, God made me just for him and vice versa!
2. I still have to kiss him, even if he does have morning breath.
3. I have to wash his socks and underware.
4. It is not always a love afair.
5. It is not ok, to wish that I can chock him silly. Or better yet I can think it, just don't it.
6. I did say better or worse!!!!!
7. He did not come with an instruction manual, and if I came with one, he would not read it any way!!!!
8. Some times he will love the WII game company more than me!
9. Think before you say anything.
10.Chips are a vegtable according to him!
I am just being real!!! We have been married for 18 years. Now one make me smile harder, no one can make me cry harder, no one can make me feel like this man. He is my mate, God made me just for him and vice versa!
K
Cookie38115, especially #7 so true!!! LOL Cracks me up!
Ancilla, your #8, no I don't agree on that one - if you are in love with your husband, you'll also love to be married to him. And #3 is to me just a statement. While dating, you were used to him doing other things when you were not together, and when married you will see him doing those other things, I can only see it as something you should be thrilled about
I do agree on the other ones.
I can't say that I know something about marriage now that I didn't know before I got married. I now know something about the man I married, but that is something else But I think most couples experience that in one way or the other, and it is one of the reasons why marriage is hard work at times. And why some marriages, even Christian ones, sometimes fail, like the one of your dad's cousin.
Ancilla, your #8, no I don't agree on that one - if you are in love with your husband, you'll also love to be married to him. And #3 is to me just a statement. While dating, you were used to him doing other things when you were not together, and when married you will see him doing those other things, I can only see it as something you should be thrilled about
I do agree on the other ones.I can't say that I know something about marriage now that I didn't know before I got married. I now know something about the man I married, but that is something else
But I think most couples experience that in one way or the other, and it is one of the reasons why marriage is hard work at times. And why some marriages, even Christian ones, sometimes fail, like the one of your dad's cousin.
C
Cookie38115, especially #7 so true!!! LOL Cracks me up!
Ancilla, your #8, no I don't agree on that one - if you are in love with your husband, you'll also love to be married to him. And #3 is to me just a statement. While dating, you were used to him doing other things when you were not together, and when married you will see him doing those other things, I can only see it as something you should be thrilled about I do agree on the other ones.
I can't say that I know something about marriage now that I didn't know before I got married. I now know something about the man I married, but that is something else But I think most couples experience that in one way or the other, and it is one of the reasons why marriage is hard work at times. And why some marriages, even Christian ones, sometimes fail, like the one of your dad's cousin.
Ancilla, your #8, no I don't agree on that one - if you are in love with your husband, you'll also love to be married to him. And #3 is to me just a statement. While dating, you were used to him doing other things when you were not together, and when married you will see him doing those other things, I can only see it as something you should be thrilled about
I do agree on the other ones.I can't say that I know something about marriage now that I didn't know before I got married. I now know something about the man I married, but that is something else
But I think most couples experience that in one way or the other, and it is one of the reasons why marriage is hard work at times. And why some marriages, even Christian ones, sometimes fail, like the one of your dad's cousin.
A
Yeah, my mother is very, very happily married. But she's said that she wouldn't have traded her single years (she got married at 26) for anything. There was university and teacher's college and sharing an appartment with other women and going to Europe with a friend. I can't necessarily say I've enjoyed my single years* but I have learned some valuable lessons about how to stand on my own two feet. I also think that if I get married and then find myself single again, the lessons I've learned during my singles years will be valuable for the future whatever that might bring.
*Read: I don't know if I'll necessarily look back on my single years, depending on how long they last, as happy time my mother had. I've hit a lot of speed bumps so far in my twenties, but I'm NOT saying that I blame any that on my singleness. People who don't like their life and think everything would be better if they were married, are just as unhappy after they get married, so I've heard.
*Read: I don't know if I'll necessarily look back on my single years, depending on how long they last, as happy time my mother had. I've hit a lot of speed bumps so far in my twenties, but I'm NOT saying that I blame any that on my singleness. People who don't like their life and think everything would be better if they were married, are just as unhappy after they get married, so I've heard.
I
Well, let me just say this. When you do get married make sure you are absolutley certain you are marrying the right person! Don't rush into it!!
I think there have been some excellent point made by previous posters. I have been married almost 5 years (it will be 5 yrs this october) and it is hard work!! There are times I wish I could have the last 5 years of my life back. But I know God is the central focus and he can help us through it, if we put our trust in him.
My tip is this.. Girls remember guys are well, they're guys.. and they can be somewhat insensitive at times.
Guys, Girls need affection.. try to remember that. You can't just marry her.. and then forget she exists!
If you can work out how to relate to each other.. and are heading down the same path.. and share common goals.. and make decisions together..then well.. you're onto something. You both need to value each other as people before the relationship can truly work.
That's my 2 cents worth!!
I think there have been some excellent point made by previous posters. I have been married almost 5 years (it will be 5 yrs this october) and it is hard work!! There are times I wish I could have the last 5 years of my life back. But I know God is the central focus and he can help us through it, if we put our trust in him.
My tip is this.. Girls remember guys are well, they're guys.. and they can be somewhat insensitive at times.
Guys, Girls need affection.. try to remember that. You can't just marry her.. and then forget she exists!
If you can work out how to relate to each other.. and are heading down the same path.. and share common goals.. and make decisions together..then well.. you're onto something. You both need to value each other as people before the relationship can truly work.
That's my 2 cents worth!!
T
Well I have been married for 7 monthes so I know that I have not been married very long. But we did date 3 yrs before we did get married and complete strangers were asking if we were married. We even told each other we felt like we were already married before we were married. Yes, I did marry right out of high school. But, my husband and I made an agreement a long time ago that no matter what happened we would try to work things out and we would try everything possible. But the thing I have figured out about making a relationship work or a marriage work is that there are going to be rough patches along the way but you have to try and work it out and not just let it go. Marriage is a give and take situation its not just one person giving all of the time while the other just takes. It also takes both people trying to make it work. When my husband and I have a disagreement we don't talk for about 30 mins and than we end up talking about what the problem is. If we don't do that than we apoligize immediatly and talk about it right than.
C
I don't agree that i have to wash his socks and underwear, or that I have to kiss him with morning breath! Those are things we can compromise on!!
Marriage is hard work, yes, and it's compromise. It for sure isn't sunshine and roses, or chocolate and tulips -- or whatever your passion is. But I do know this. God doesn't make mistakes. Whether you made a mistake and married the wrong person because you married someone unsaved -- or married when you weren't walking with Him -- whatever the circumstances may be, God can make something beautiful out of anything. It takes devotion and love -- to GOD, to our Master, who created marriage. Even when our circumstances are less then stellar, and our spouses aren't doing everything *we* expect them to do, or think they should do to make us happy. Our responsibility is to God, and He says to honor our husbands, our vows. I have a responsibility to God to make sure I do everything I can to keep my marriage healthy and happy -- and devote myself to being the kind of wife my husband needs and desires.
My husband is wonderful -- I am blessed. We have had storms, for sure, but by God's grace we make it through.
When I think back to my wedding day, almost 13 years ago, I definitely had stars in my eyes, and it is different then I would have thought. But with God on our side -- I know we will make it through anything. God is great.
Marriage is hard work, yes, and it's compromise. It for sure isn't sunshine and roses, or chocolate and tulips -- or whatever your passion is. But I do know this. God doesn't make mistakes. Whether you made a mistake and married the wrong person because you married someone unsaved -- or married when you weren't walking with Him -- whatever the circumstances may be, God can make something beautiful out of anything. It takes devotion and love -- to GOD, to our Master, who created marriage. Even when our circumstances are less then stellar, and our spouses aren't doing everything *we* expect them to do, or think they should do to make us happy. Our responsibility is to God, and He says to honor our husbands, our vows. I have a responsibility to God to make sure I do everything I can to keep my marriage healthy and happy -- and devote myself to being the kind of wife my husband needs and desires.
My husband is wonderful -- I am blessed. We have had storms, for sure, but by God's grace we make it through.
When I think back to my wedding day, almost 13 years ago, I definitely had stars in my eyes, and it is different then I would have thought. But with God on our side -- I know we will make it through anything. God is great.
when i was single... i wish i knew my husband was in my future then i woulda spent less time stressing over finding "the one" and more time just enjoying hangin with my girls. (funny I met "the one" after i'd totally and completely given up and was totally negative about men from all the bad apples) as i've posted before, my husband & i ran into each other everywhere we went over a 6 week period... (vancouver, burnaby, mapleridge, sasmat) we had no one in common so I'm certain although i wasnt a Christian at the time this was Gods will. so , less stress. Also, i wish i'd known enough when we were first married to not set him up to fail. If I dont want him to forget something I remind him cause he's thinking about roofs, and motorcycles and hockey and stuff. (fill in the blanks with your husbands stuff lol) Also men dont read minds. If you need a hug ask & dont ask if you look fat in something unless you are prepared to hear the truth cause thats what them dum dums do LOL!!! they actually think if we ask a question we want the answer. OK & GUYS... IIIIIF she asks do i look fat in this... the answer is ALWAYS ALWAYS always no (I call this a white lie... lol but if you just cant lie say something like... You look absolutely beautiful to me baby I'm so proud to be your husband... NEVER< i repeat NEVER say wellll... maybe a little bit... unless you want to deal with waiting another 2 hours for her to dig through the closet for something unfat while blinded by her tears... LOL <3 2 all you singles out there and all the best in your search for the one.
N
What do you know now about marriage that you wish you knew when you were a single or newlywed???
Not a thing. I have truly enjoyed the whole ride!!! Haahaha...what I mean is, it has been such a joy to be together for 23 years now and have it get BETTER than dating was!! We can talk about ANYTHING, make jokes....even know what the other will say when we tell a story or whatnot.....there are things we can say to each other that we wouldn't have DARED say to each other back before getting married!!! And just the things we do for each other, it's not like there is anyone else we would even WANT to have do these things with/for us than each other...if you get that?? I don't know how to say what I want to say, but just..well after so many years together my hubby is such a part of me, that I can ask him of anything or he can ask me of anything and all is good.
1. You can do everything God's way and find "the one" but it doesn't make that person perfectly compatable. There's will still be lots of work learning to live with the one God has made for you.*
While I agree that finding "the one" doesn't necessarily mean everything will be perfect, especially without "work" involved, I do have to say I have never considered my marriage to BE "work"!! I love my husband with all I've got and "learning to live" with him has been a joy!
2. Even the most godly marriage from start to finish is not immune to hard times. I think as singles it's so easy for us to look at the tough things married people go through and say, "Well, they must have been not doing things God's way. That's not going to happen to me!" I mean, my dad's cousin got a divorce. She's a Christian and her husband was too at one point. I'm sure she's made mistakes, but I'm not sure she's made any mistakes that I wouldn't have made in her situation. And yes, that is kind of a scary thought for me.
No one is immune to hard times.....singles, marrieds, we all have hard times......it is what we DO with the hard times that matter!!! Hard times for marrieds SHOULD bring them even ever closer together in their love for each other and in their faith in our Lord and Savior.
3. My sister said that when you're a newly wed you have to get used to seeing how you're husband behaves when you're not around. She said that when you're dating, every moment together is special and so you're content just to stare into each other's eyes. BUT, after you're married you can't be doing that 24/7 and so you eventually have to see him playing his Xbox. Or in other words, when you're dating you're always the centre of his attention, but after marriage he can't maintain that all the time. That's not a bad thing, it's just one of the many adjustments.
I have to agree with Kaitlin on this one.....I found and find it a joy to see my hubby doing what he loves to do. I encourage him to do so!!!
4. As a teen you're (or at least I was) told so much "Don't have sex until you're married, then after you get married everything will be perfect." But that does not mean that all your sexual temptations vanish on your wedding day. It wasn't until I heard of people being married and being surprised that they still had struggles with lust that I realized how much I took for granted that sexual temptation is something that only plauges the unmarried. I now think of learning to surrender one's sexual temptations to God as all part of being an adult, married or unmarried.
Hmmm funny....maybe Im weird, but all my sexual desires are for my hubby......
5. Being totally in love with someone doesn't mean you'll always agree, and you won't ever think "Why can't he just see things my way!!"
True, that......
6. Having a good husband is not a substitute for having a good girl friend, or substitue for another important non-spouse relationship. He's a man, not a Swiss Army Knife.
I agree with this. There is NO one I'd rather be with than my husband....but there are times when I NEED to see other friends.
7. Being in love with your husband doesn't mean you'll never say "Eeww... what a boy!!" about any of his bad habits. Is that true? Does your husband ever remind you why you thought boys were gross when you were 7?
No.
8. I've heard it's possible to be totally in love with your husband and not totally love being married. Is that possible?
If it is, I've never came close to experiencing it.
Just a bit more I want to say....bear with me!! hahaha!!
When Papabean and I went to see our pastor before our wedding, he sat with us and talked about marriage....he asked us "what would you say you would each have to put into things in your marriage?? percentage wise....you each give to a decision...or even a dissagreement??" We looked at each other and each said "50%?.. 50/50"....and grinned...thinking ."cool..see we each meet halfway....and see?? we agree!!"....(hahha)...but our pastor said..." I'd like you to consider this....with marriage, we all need to give 100% of ourselves, 100% of the time. Very true, that!!!
Not a thing. I have truly enjoyed the whole ride!!! Haahaha...what I mean is, it has been such a joy to be together for 23 years now and have it get BETTER than dating was!! We can talk about ANYTHING, make jokes....even know what the other will say when we tell a story or whatnot.....there are things we can say to each other that we wouldn't have DARED say to each other back before getting married!!! And just the things we do for each other, it's not like there is anyone else we would even WANT to have do these things with/for us than each other...if you get that?? I don't know how to say what I want to say, but just..well after so many years together my hubby is such a part of me, that I can ask him of anything or he can ask me of anything and all is good.
1. You can do everything God's way and find "the one" but it doesn't make that person perfectly compatable. There's will still be lots of work learning to live with the one God has made for you.*
While I agree that finding "the one" doesn't necessarily mean everything will be perfect, especially without "work" involved, I do have to say I have never considered my marriage to BE "work"!! I love my husband with all I've got and "learning to live" with him has been a joy!
2. Even the most godly marriage from start to finish is not immune to hard times. I think as singles it's so easy for us to look at the tough things married people go through and say, "Well, they must have been not doing things God's way. That's not going to happen to me!" I mean, my dad's cousin got a divorce. She's a Christian and her husband was too at one point. I'm sure she's made mistakes, but I'm not sure she's made any mistakes that I wouldn't have made in her situation. And yes, that is kind of a scary thought for me.
No one is immune to hard times.....singles, marrieds, we all have hard times......it is what we DO with the hard times that matter!!! Hard times for marrieds SHOULD bring them even ever closer together in their love for each other and in their faith in our Lord and Savior.
3. My sister said that when you're a newly wed you have to get used to seeing how you're husband behaves when you're not around. She said that when you're dating, every moment together is special and so you're content just to stare into each other's eyes. BUT, after you're married you can't be doing that 24/7 and so you eventually have to see him playing his Xbox. Or in other words, when you're dating you're always the centre of his attention, but after marriage he can't maintain that all the time. That's not a bad thing, it's just one of the many adjustments.
I have to agree with Kaitlin on this one.....I found and find it a joy to see my hubby doing what he loves to do. I encourage him to do so!!!
4. As a teen you're (or at least I was) told so much "Don't have sex until you're married, then after you get married everything will be perfect." But that does not mean that all your sexual temptations vanish on your wedding day. It wasn't until I heard of people being married and being surprised that they still had struggles with lust that I realized how much I took for granted that sexual temptation is something that only plauges the unmarried. I now think of learning to surrender one's sexual temptations to God as all part of being an adult, married or unmarried.
Hmmm funny....maybe Im weird, but all my sexual desires are for my hubby......
5. Being totally in love with someone doesn't mean you'll always agree, and you won't ever think "Why can't he just see things my way!!"
True, that......
6. Having a good husband is not a substitute for having a good girl friend, or substitue for another important non-spouse relationship. He's a man, not a Swiss Army Knife.
I agree with this. There is NO one I'd rather be with than my husband....but there are times when I NEED to see other friends.
7. Being in love with your husband doesn't mean you'll never say "Eeww... what a boy!!" about any of his bad habits. Is that true? Does your husband ever remind you why you thought boys were gross when you were 7?
No.
8. I've heard it's possible to be totally in love with your husband and not totally love being married. Is that possible?
If it is, I've never came close to experiencing it.
Just a bit more I want to say....bear with me!! hahaha!!
When Papabean and I went to see our pastor before our wedding, he sat with us and talked about marriage....he asked us "what would you say you would each have to put into things in your marriage?? percentage wise....you each give to a decision...or even a dissagreement??" We looked at each other and each said "50%?.. 50/50"....and grinned...thinking ."cool..see we each meet halfway....and see?? we agree!!"....(hahha)...but our pastor said..." I'd like you to consider this....with marriage, we all need to give 100% of ourselves, 100% of the time. Very true, that!!!