-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I'd say find his special thing... whatever it is & take it away for a preset amount of time. He's 18months so an hour of knowing he cant have something is eternity. you have to stick to it tho & not back down & expect screaming and crying. when he screams and cry's tell him be quiet or it will take longer for him to get it back. once he's been good then tell him how proud you are of him for listening and he deserves his... (suckie, stuffie...) back. the next time he acts out usually a warning of removal of the cherished object is enough to stop the behavior b4 it starts. Advice for you... mine are 8 & 4 my 4 year old had definite anger issues that we seem to have taken care of... anyway talk to them about what you expect before you go somewhere. If they act up dont let it work!!! ie screaming for a toy. always always always back your spouse in discipline even if you feel it was out of line... (you can discuss this later) always catch them doing something right and praise them. make up a bed time story where they are the hero. Quite often i have meetings where my 4 year old has to be present. before we go I have always told him where we are going, that mommy needs quiet and he can play with his hotwheels car & have a snack & a drink but that he needs to be quiet. Oh, also he hates nap time so now about 1/2 hr b4 nap i say to him... which stuffy wants to have a nap with you today? or i'll pretend that a stuffie is calling me from upstairs and i run up and then run down and tell him "moosie" wants to have nap time with you. funny but it works for him. too bad they are all different and they dont come with an owners manual and an exchange policy... (JK) God Bless you as you raise this beautiful little soul.
L
Is he just laughing or is he actually getting up from timeout? If he's just laughing, a few minutes in timeout without any toys, entertainment or mom and dad and he'll cry real quick (yes you do want him to cry, crying shows feelings of regret and remorse). He'll get the picture. While your child is in time out, don't talk to him because by talking to him you are giving him attention which is what he wants. The rule of timeout is after it is over, ask him, "Are you ready to stop hitting? (or whatever the offense might be) Believe it or not, kids your son's age will answer honestly and if they do still plan on disobeying they usually tell you. Then it's back in timeout they go until they change their mind and decide to obey. And you're doing great, 1year and a half is the perfect age to start. If you like reading there is a book out there called, Try and Make Me! (great discipline book).
And by the way, I'm a family therapist I work with families like yours daily.
And by the way, I'm a family therapist I work with families like yours daily.
I know you said you don't believe in spanking but I can't help but think how my opinion means nothing and we do have an owner's manual with everything from basic to extremely advanced instructions from the manufacturer when it comes to human beings, all things that pertain to life and godliness to be exact (2Pe 1:3). The best thing to do is always to check the manual (the Bible, from Almighty God our Creator) and see what it has to say about a situation. If what we read in God's word doesn't line up with our personal beliefs or opinions about a certain practice then we are at a cross roads between the way that seems right to man (Pro 16:25) and humble obedience to God’s superior knowledge and wisdom as revealed in his eternal Word.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15
It’s not merely dealing with a child acting out but a child acting out the sin nature that he was born with as we all were. According to God this foolishness is bound up in the child’s heart, not merely something it turns to on a whim but something veritably chained there. God is very specific on what will break this bondage and drive it out of a child and it seems even among Christians it is increasingly unpopular to do things God’s way. It should be considered that God seems to be saying here that if you use the rod of discipline at a young age it will be much easier and far more likely that this child will get saved when they are old enough to make that decision. Especially in light of all the teens leaving church at the earliest age they can get away with it, could it be a result of the modern Christian family not breaking the bondage and driving out that foolish sinful nature into submission through scriptural discipline at a young age. Someone who has learned discipline and understands authority as something they were raised in from infancy certainly should have a far less difficult time submitting to God and receiving divine chastisement when necessary.
Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
Proverbs 23:12-15
According to God these verses are words of instruction that we should hear and apply our heart to their knowledge. Spanking a child will not kill him. On the contrary, spanking a child could be the very thing that keeps that child from ending up in hell someday. God said if you will listen to his instruction and gain wisdom you will make his heart rejoice. It’s generally a good idea to look at the negative of something when God said “if” before a statement. If obedience to God’s instruction for disciplining children makes us wise and his heart to rejoice, then what does that say about when we decide we have a better way than God? Can we still be considered wise in the eyes of God when we choose the way that seems right to us or the modern world in which we live instead of submitting to God’s wisdom and patterning our lives accordingly? If biblical discipline makes God rejoice over us, how does he feel when we choose another way?
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15
What appears sociable and easy on the conscience in not spanking a child and maybe even gains the approval of the world in general could have grave consequences down the road. As is says in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” If you can raise a child contrary to scripture and be successful then that would mean God was wrong on this matter. He clearly said that foolishness is driven out by the rod of reproof and here states that it gives wisdom to the child. God said if you act contrary to his ordained path in these matters will result in a child that brings shame to its mother. I was just in Wal Mart today and a child was screaming for no reason in while riding in the cart. You could hear it from well across the store and the mother was doing nothing about it. Truth be told there was likely nothing she could do about it. More often than not if a child is properly taught to mind at home they would never have the guts to act out in such a manner in public and the slightest inclination to do so shouldn’t take more than a look or a word to stop such a tantrum before it started. I’m from a family of 12 and I can remember it seemed like nearly every time Mom took us to the store she was complimented on how well behaved we were. Because she had properly used the rod of reproof her children brought her honor. Even now that I’ve been on my own for a long time there are still employees in both Kroger and Wal Mart that have stopped and asked me how my mother is and commented how they are still amazed at how well behaved us children were when she came into the store. We are talking about honorable memories of my mother that have stuck in their minds for over a decade if not two.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 13:24
Last but not least God makes this very sobering statement that every parent should read and take to heart. Those that spare the God ordained rod in discipline, hates their child. How serious is that? No matter how good we might feel about ourselves or our enlightened modern age because we don’t spank our child. No matter how much the world praises us for being sophisticated and keeping with the times. Even if someone says they love their child too much to ever use a paddle. God calls it hatred of your child. That’s why they call it tough love. Sometimes true love is doing something that will seem unpleasant to the other person but is also often doing something that is unpleasant to both individuals but is the best thing for them.
Who among us can claim to be wiser than God? Do we pick up God’s word with a pen to mark out the verses we deem antiquated or inapplicable or makes us too uncomfortable? Or do we pick up the Bible with a pen to underline, a highlighter to mark, a prayerfully open heart, and a notebook to record what God teaches us for the purpose of changing our lives into the pattern he has revealed?
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15
It’s not merely dealing with a child acting out but a child acting out the sin nature that he was born with as we all were. According to God this foolishness is bound up in the child’s heart, not merely something it turns to on a whim but something veritably chained there. God is very specific on what will break this bondage and drive it out of a child and it seems even among Christians it is increasingly unpopular to do things God’s way. It should be considered that God seems to be saying here that if you use the rod of discipline at a young age it will be much easier and far more likely that this child will get saved when they are old enough to make that decision. Especially in light of all the teens leaving church at the earliest age they can get away with it, could it be a result of the modern Christian family not breaking the bondage and driving out that foolish sinful nature into submission through scriptural discipline at a young age. Someone who has learned discipline and understands authority as something they were raised in from infancy certainly should have a far less difficult time submitting to God and receiving divine chastisement when necessary.
Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
Proverbs 23:12-15
According to God these verses are words of instruction that we should hear and apply our heart to their knowledge. Spanking a child will not kill him. On the contrary, spanking a child could be the very thing that keeps that child from ending up in hell someday. God said if you will listen to his instruction and gain wisdom you will make his heart rejoice. It’s generally a good idea to look at the negative of something when God said “if” before a statement. If obedience to God’s instruction for disciplining children makes us wise and his heart to rejoice, then what does that say about when we decide we have a better way than God? Can we still be considered wise in the eyes of God when we choose the way that seems right to us or the modern world in which we live instead of submitting to God’s wisdom and patterning our lives accordingly? If biblical discipline makes God rejoice over us, how does he feel when we choose another way?
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15
What appears sociable and easy on the conscience in not spanking a child and maybe even gains the approval of the world in general could have grave consequences down the road. As is says in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” If you can raise a child contrary to scripture and be successful then that would mean God was wrong on this matter. He clearly said that foolishness is driven out by the rod of reproof and here states that it gives wisdom to the child. God said if you act contrary to his ordained path in these matters will result in a child that brings shame to its mother. I was just in Wal Mart today and a child was screaming for no reason in while riding in the cart. You could hear it from well across the store and the mother was doing nothing about it. Truth be told there was likely nothing she could do about it. More often than not if a child is properly taught to mind at home they would never have the guts to act out in such a manner in public and the slightest inclination to do so shouldn’t take more than a look or a word to stop such a tantrum before it started. I’m from a family of 12 and I can remember it seemed like nearly every time Mom took us to the store she was complimented on how well behaved we were. Because she had properly used the rod of reproof her children brought her honor. Even now that I’ve been on my own for a long time there are still employees in both Kroger and Wal Mart that have stopped and asked me how my mother is and commented how they are still amazed at how well behaved us children were when she came into the store. We are talking about honorable memories of my mother that have stuck in their minds for over a decade if not two.
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 13:24
Last but not least God makes this very sobering statement that every parent should read and take to heart. Those that spare the God ordained rod in discipline, hates their child. How serious is that? No matter how good we might feel about ourselves or our enlightened modern age because we don’t spank our child. No matter how much the world praises us for being sophisticated and keeping with the times. Even if someone says they love their child too much to ever use a paddle. God calls it hatred of your child. That’s why they call it tough love. Sometimes true love is doing something that will seem unpleasant to the other person but is also often doing something that is unpleasant to both individuals but is the best thing for them.
Who among us can claim to be wiser than God? Do we pick up God’s word with a pen to mark out the verses we deem antiquated or inapplicable or makes us too uncomfortable? Or do we pick up the Bible with a pen to underline, a highlighter to mark, a prayerfully open heart, and a notebook to record what God teaches us for the purpose of changing our lives into the pattern he has revealed?
R
It is so easy to say what you would or would not do if you had a child. And I agree with a spanking myself. I have had to spank my own children at times, although I always hated to have to resort to it.. But those of us who have children also know that a spanking is not always the asnwer, like Merry said in her post. Every child is different. I know a friend of mine could give one child a spanking and it would do wonders for weeeks in how the child behaves, yet her other daughter a spanking would do nothing at all, so she had to find something else that would work on this child.. So she had her write our lines, and you know that was all it took, this girl hated writing out the lines. So she would make her write things out like bible verses or lines like I will not do what ever so many times,and that was all it took to keep this child undercontrol.. With my son I had to take his Bike, scooter, snowboard ect away.. every child is different, just as we are all different as adults.. We have the Bible as a roadmap yes but we also have to remember that spanking are not beatings and like Merry said they should never be given in anger.. God gave us our children as a bleesing to us and we need to take good care of them.