Results 1 to 15 of 15

Christian Family Forum

Discuss family topics/issues, and give and receive encouragement here.

Thread: alcoholic husband

  1. #1
    bookofkell
    Guest

    Question alcoholic husband

    I understand that divorce is only permitted in cases of sexual impurity. If you are being abused verbally and emotionally (very rarely physically-pushing) in front of your 6 year old son, can a wife separate from her husband not to divorce but to stop the abuse?

  2. #2
    lesnes
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    bookofkell I feel the need to get some answers from some Highly respected individuals(pastors and elders) I know who dont come here to this site. you should email me on my profile so we can keep some of this discussion private.

    or email my msn lesnes@live.ca

    I ve prayed for you and some guidance, hang in there and God Bless.

  3. #3
    bookofkell
    Guest

    Red face Re: alcoholic husband

    thank you, lesnes

  4. #4
    Tumnus
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    bookofkell: I am praying for your safety and for God's immediate help in this situation. Any kind of abuse is of great concern, and ESPECIALLY any kind of physical abuse. My prayer that God works quickly on your behalf. Please keep us updated.

    Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves His church. NO man is to put his hands on his wife in anger/frustration! Never an excuse for that, whether he is under the influence or not! Do you have a safe place to go? We are not called to put ourselves in harm's way. Your husband must want to seek help, but in the meantime, your primary concern is for you and your child's safety. I hope lesnes has the information you need.

    May His angels guard over you.

  5. #5
    bookofkell
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    thank you Tumnus

  6. #6
    Senior Member GreenNnice's Avatar
    Join Date
    January 21st, 2011
    Age
    46
    Posts
    9,182
    Rep Power
    17

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    By virtue of your saying your husband very rarely 'physically' pushes you, that is a serious concern. But I do not know your situation fully, bookofkell, and, there must (often) be willingness to change from both partners. This topic is very extremely touchy, but I encourage you to GIVE this situation to our God and pray for your husband and maybe your change in some way too. God does want you to succeed in life per His plans for you, marriage is not easy and I pray for you and your husband , that God shows you the reasons of the abuse. The power of God is so great when we choose
    turn our troubles over to Him :-)

  7. #7
    Senior Member Maddog's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10th, 2009
    Age
    27
    Posts
    1,340
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    Quote Originally Posted by bookofkell View Post
    I understand that divorce is only permitted in cases of sexual impurity. If you are being abused verbally and emotionally (very rarely physically-pushing) in front of your 6 year old son, can a wife separate from her husband not to divorce but to stop the abuse?
    As I understand it, there would be no sin in a legal separation if it is as a last resort and/or you are in immediate danger of serious harm.

    From your description, it doesn't sound as though you are in any immediate danger of serious harm, so I would suggest some sort of marriage counselling or the like. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to even think about divorce before you've made every attempt to sort out your problems.

  8. #8
    Rheod
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    Hi as well as his husbandly duties your husband has fatherly and human respomsibilities. He is showing ur son it is ok to treat women badly hence he is causing (or may cause) your som to sin. He shud love you like he loves himself. He is also drinking. Get a seperation (not divorce) and tell him infront of a someone you feel safe next too that you will be getting councilling. If he says no go to your minister and explain to them what is happening. You are in my prayers sister. May God guide and protect you God bless.

  9. #9
    Senior Member pickles's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 20th, 2009
    Age
    54
    Posts
    14,119
    Rep Power
    33

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    My father was an achcoholic, and I saw the way he treated my mom,my brothers, sisters and I suffered the abuse as well.
    It was not the physical abuse that was hard to recover from, but the emotional abuse that left the deepest scars.
    Some times he did not have to do anything, it was simply who he became when drinking that brought terror.
    I still struggle with some of these scars to this day.
    I thank Jesus for bringing the healing He has to my heart and life.
    Getting spritual advise from those trained in this is a good step.
    My mom did this as well.
    My mom did divorce my father, because he only worsened, but she honored her vows till the day she passed.
    I wanted to speak about this to you simply so you would know the effects it can have on a child.
    Sometimes one can tell themself that its not so bad, but its not always the streangth of the action, but the ongoing action that brings injury.
    I will keep you, your child, and your husband in my prayers, that Jesus will bring His healing to your family and husband.
    No one can tell you what to do, sometimes you have to trust Jesus to bring the truth to your heart and decision to make.

    Hugs and God bless.
    pickles
    Its really not that complicated, Jesus is the way, the truth and the life we are called to!
    The Joy of the Lord is your streangth!

  10. #10
    Tumnus
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    bookofkell: I hope you are doing well and are safe. I initially responded so passionately because I have so many friends who are or have gone through this situation and it affects me deeply. I just wanted to add that I need to include your husband in my prayers because I know deep in his heart he doesn't want to behave the way he is. I know he must feel shame, despair, and embarrassment. He is still to be held accountable, but he is also a child of God. God hasn't forgotten about him either, but he must face up to his responsibilities and become aware of how he is hurting those he loves.

    Still sending love and prayers you way...for all of you...

  11. #11
    MonicaR
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    I would suggest you seek help as soon as possible. My husband used to be very abusive. Physically and emotionally. In the beginning it was behind closed doors but towards the end he started being abusive at me in front of our kids. That is when it is the scariest because at that point, they really dont care. But i believe with all my heart your husband can change because mine did. It got worse before it got better and it took the both of us surrendering to God, but in order for us to do that, we had to separate. God can change anyone. But every once in a while one of my sons will say "mom remember when dad did this or that to you? why did he do that?" and i feel so horrible because while i was trying to protect myself, i wasn't able to protect what they seen. I had no idea they still remembered. Talk to your son now, make sure he's okay inside, cause what they see , and what they hear, they carry with them. I will pray for you, your son, and your husband. msg me if you ever need to talk.

  12. #12
    bookofkell
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. I know that God is able to perform amazing miracles- my family really needs God to take control of this situation.Please I beg you to continue to pray for us. Last night was not a good one but I have faith.

  13. #13
    Treyzan
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    I wish I could give you advice on this subject, but since I am not a professional I can only share my own story with you, in the hopes that you might gain some small piece of information to help you.
    I am a recovering Alcoholic. I have been sober for 2 months now, and this isn't my first time trying to quit, but I'm fairly certain it is my last. I was never physically abusive to my wife or children, but the emotional termoil I created in our home can only be called abuse. My wife seperated from me. My employer put me on two weeks suspension due to my drinking. My solution was to drink more, until the day came that I clearly saw that all of these horrible things that were happening to me were my fault.
    I entered a rehab program in the hopes of saving my marriage and saving my job. Through the various groups I participated in I was introduced to God. I was raised Catholic, but never really had any faith to speak of. In the past month my Alcohol problem is no longer an issue, because I've given my will over to God and I now believe with all my heart that bringing glory to Christ is the only want I truly want. This hasn't solved my marriage issues, my wife now wants a divorce, but I made a vow before God to her, and I am committed to keeping that Vow. In my situation, my wife seperating from me was so painful, and now the impending divorce is beyond painful, but without those things happening I would not have found Christ!!
    You are in my prayers, trust in Christ.

  14. #14
    bookofkell
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    Treyzan,your story really brings me hope. I will pray that your marriage will be restored. I know some of the things your wife is probably feeling. You end up feeling bitter- alcohol is basically becomes your husband's mistress, only worse in a way because your relationship with it is happening right in your own home. The real hurt comes when a mother is placed in a position where she feels she needs to protect her children from their own father(not physically but mentally and emotionally)when he is under the influence. I am praising God for your Salvation and recovery. God can heal both of your wounds. It is just so hard and painful waiting for your miracle. God Bless You,Treyzan!

  15. #15
    KezE
    Guest

    Default Re: alcoholic husband

    Yes bookofkell it is painful waiting!!
    To encourage you:
    "For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him" Isaiah 30:18
    "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong & take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:14
    "I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry" Psalm 40;1
    "If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand" Psalm 37:23-24

    May God strengthen you now. Your reward for waiting on Him & staying true to Him is beyond what you can imagine!!!

Similar Threads

  1. When does your future husband become your present husband?
    By MahogonySnail in forum Christian Singles Forum
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 4 Days Ago, 05:36 AM
  2. what does th bible really say about divorce?
    By salty in forum Christian Family Forum
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: August 5th, 2010, 03:45 AM
  3. how to witness to a closed-minded husband; our marriage depends on it
    By ambergood1 in forum Christian Family Forum
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: April 12th, 2009, 02:02 PM

Tags for this Thread