The greatest miracle you will ever witness is the miracle of salvation. No human being can ever change the human heart. That is something only God can do.
I have been a Christian for 20+ years and still struggle with my faith sometimes, although it is getting stronger. Jesus never said being his follower would be easy. You must remember not to go on feelings but on what the Word of God says. That is how we fight satan and his cohorts who come to lie, cheat, and steal from us. He is trying to steal your faith and I say, don't let him. We have not received a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love, and we have a sound mind. You have the mind of Christ. Resist the devil and he WILL flee from you. He cannot stay.
I don't understand why people think the devil has so much power when in reality he has none except what people give him. We need to remember that he was defeated by Christ on the Cross almost 2000 years ago and was stripped of his power. The only power he has is what he can make you believe he has. His greatest weapon is fear but we have not received a spirit of fear and do not have to accept it from him. He is such a thief and a liar and we need to stop listening to him. It amazes me that so many people believe in the devil's existence but have such a hard time believing in Jesus. They both came from heaven (although satan was kicked out). satan takes what he wants at a very high human cost, while Jesus offers his gift for free. What the devil offers will cost you everything; what Jesus offers cost Him His life.
You really need to get involved in a church - but be careful what kind of church. There is a lot of false teachings out there. But you really do need to fellowship. Also remember, Jesus had a lot of secret followers due to their fear of the Jews, so don't feel bad. Just let your light shine. Sometimes we can win people to Christ without ever saying a word.
Just stand on God's word. Study it as much as you can. Heaven and Earth will pass away but God's Word will never pass away.
I will pray for you.
Amen to that - Stand on God's word. You are in my prayers as well. I pray that God would lead you to a local church where you can feel comfortable, refreshed, and grow and learn. As you learn more, you will understand more, you will put things into practice and you will not be afraid. God works through us, so we don't even have to do the heavy lifting, so to speak, if we truly are trusting in him. Doing this actively in trials is one of the hardest things to do, but it is also the best time to earnestly seek him out, even with tears, and to simply not know what tomorrow will bring. Our faith is of greater worth than gold, and to keep your faith during hard times - and amidst family who may not understand, which I can't imagine how difficult that must be - is what is going to make you a rock-solid Christian. Keep the faith. God is as real as the chair you are sitting on, and unfathomable in his love toward us. He created you and he knows you are in this situation. You are not alone and never will be alone or forsaken - that is one of many promises in the Bible we can claim. There are times in my life when I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I cannot deny that I am miserable, helpless, and the situation stinks! Becoming a Christian does not transform your life into everything being made rosy and positive - on the outside. On the *inside* though, it can be a completely different story, because as we were saved by faith, in the same way we continue to live out our lives: by faith. The same faith that you had when you believed - is the same faith you believe in God's deliverance, day by day.
When we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, we can still trust that God will find a way. This is possible if we trust in him, not in ourselves. He will give us the strength to endure and his strength and energy never runs out. We can pray for his strength night and day, unceasing, and even if we are lying on our deathbeds, or in chains - like the Apostle Paul - in prison, sick, hurt, heartbroken, anxious, whatever - on the inside, we can still be getting God's strength and love. My pastor has described it like an "IV tube to God."
we can feel clean and pure inside, and feel certainty. Certainty might be the best word. To know that nothing on earth can shake your God. It's amazing.
As for the devil: my only comment is, greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world.
Blessings!
