Forgiveness is more than words. It requires great courage and love to forgive.
I can speak, but in my mind I am not over it. I only forgive for a place in heaven. If I begin to understand the nature of love, the nature of salvation, of all men, then I begin to understand the pointlessness of holding onto any trespasses against me.
It is meaningless. i have also sinned. As does everyone. I can remember times where I had made mistakes and wished forgiveness for them. SO to be able to give someone that immense weight lifted will be an honour.
It is only when I stop making it me against them.
If my girlfriend cheats on me, it will only hurt if I regard her as MINE. She is God's.
She is God's and only god's. Her sin will be revisited upon her. She will see her tresspasses in their entireity alongside God's truth, and realise in her heart what she has done, so that her sin be upon her.
She will not die for that sin, because Jesus paid the sacrificial price, she will be reformed of it. Her sorrow will be sincere, her regret will be true. Her knowledge of Christ will be full, and in that, she will know. But I will also know as I am known, and will no longer require her apology, for it is meaningless words. I will be reformed of my earthly desires and I will love her in a way that I cannot quite comprehend when I am looking at a 'faded reflection'.
Forgiveness for me, is realising that nobody is the same person everyday. THe river flows and a lot happens in 24 hours. It is not reacting.
For instance, if someone hears about what I've said and decides to hit me, they hit me from an idea they have formed without knowing me. They hit their own mind.
In the same way, my girlfriend will have cheated on her own heart. She will have done something and her shame will be upon her. It is nothing to do with me.
Perhaps, in her mind she does not fully understand love, she is not ready for that commitment, she is blinded to things. She can't truly be with me. She is lost. There is something she feels attached to that she needs from me that she has not explained. But all of this comes from her. None of it from me.
Her mind has no bearing on my mind, nor mine on hers.
So if she cheats on me, that is her doing, not mine. That very action is simply that, an action. And I did not do that action. I have no part in that action.
The only part I have is my reaction. If I react, I will make strife. I will be attached to an outcome that might not even exist.
If I simply ask her 'what do you wish to say', then she will say it and that will be that.
Her action has no bearing on me.
I will dispel the situation and reveal the real truth without emotion in the way.
What is her mind is her mind, and what is my mind is my mind.