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I am new to this forum and would like an opportunity to introduce myself. I chose this particular room because I am in desperate need of prayer and perhaps some insight. I am a 44 year old mother of three daughters who has been married for 23 years. Although I was raised in a home in which religion was a huge part of our lives, I ran from it the moment I became of age. I blamed problems in my family on the fact that church played such a large role. My parents divorced, eventually and I found myself wanting to do just the opposite of everything they did to avoid the same conclusion.
My daughters are 21, 17, 13 and they have never been to church. Throughout my married life, I have always felt my family was fine.. my marriage was fine. Although we have had our share of squabbles, everything seemed basically stable. We have never been to church as a family.
We have been having some financial problems over the last year and my marriage has been failing apart. While on the surface it would be easy to blame the strain of finances on this failure, the fact is, it is only a contributing factor. I have come to discover some of my behavior over the last 23 years has damaged my relationship with my husband. While it may be true that a lot of this stuff stems from issues in my childhood, what I did... I did. (Just to be clear, there was no infidelity or blatent things like this.. just small hurts over the years.)
Last week, I found out that my husband had struck up a friendship with another woman... a friendship that he kept hidden from me because of it's nature. While he assures me that it was only a friendship, I feel betrayed all the same. When I confronted him with this, he asked me for a divorce because he is "not happy." I immediately went into crisis mode because I do not want my marriage to end. And since I cannot fix this or even deal with it alone, I turned to God.
I went to a Christian counselor at the church my sister in law attends. Not knowing me or the complete picture of my marriage, the councelor gave me some small steps I could take to try and repair some of the damage... Things like finding reasons to appreciate my husband and telling him about it... acknowleging ways that I have wronged him and apologizing.... making myself more appealing as wife material.
For three days I have done those things and my husband seems madder than ever. He feels I am emotionally blackmailing him to get him to stay and then I will just go back to where I was before. He has decided to move out of our home and in with his brother. He left this morning. I am devastated as are my children. But I am trying to remain determined to follow in God's path no matter where it leads.
I am having trouble finding strength to deal with this new development and wisdom to know where to go here. I really have no christian friends and as my first visit to this church will be this Sunday, no one there I can talk with. If there is anyone here that can offer me any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading my long-winded story.
My daughters are 21, 17, 13 and they have never been to church. Throughout my married life, I have always felt my family was fine.. my marriage was fine. Although we have had our share of squabbles, everything seemed basically stable. We have never been to church as a family.
We have been having some financial problems over the last year and my marriage has been failing apart. While on the surface it would be easy to blame the strain of finances on this failure, the fact is, it is only a contributing factor. I have come to discover some of my behavior over the last 23 years has damaged my relationship with my husband. While it may be true that a lot of this stuff stems from issues in my childhood, what I did... I did. (Just to be clear, there was no infidelity or blatent things like this.. just small hurts over the years.)
Last week, I found out that my husband had struck up a friendship with another woman... a friendship that he kept hidden from me because of it's nature. While he assures me that it was only a friendship, I feel betrayed all the same. When I confronted him with this, he asked me for a divorce because he is "not happy." I immediately went into crisis mode because I do not want my marriage to end. And since I cannot fix this or even deal with it alone, I turned to God.
I went to a Christian counselor at the church my sister in law attends. Not knowing me or the complete picture of my marriage, the councelor gave me some small steps I could take to try and repair some of the damage... Things like finding reasons to appreciate my husband and telling him about it... acknowleging ways that I have wronged him and apologizing.... making myself more appealing as wife material.
For three days I have done those things and my husband seems madder than ever. He feels I am emotionally blackmailing him to get him to stay and then I will just go back to where I was before. He has decided to move out of our home and in with his brother. He left this morning. I am devastated as are my children. But I am trying to remain determined to follow in God's path no matter where it leads.
I am having trouble finding strength to deal with this new development and wisdom to know where to go here. I really have no christian friends and as my first visit to this church will be this Sunday, no one there I can talk with. If there is anyone here that can offer me any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading my long-winded story.
