Are you teachable..???

[grace]

I was not sure where to post this, but have been thinking about this for a few days now.

I am in my mid thirtys, and have been through some things in my life. Things that I thought that I KNEW the best way to handle them.
I have felt that I was making the BEST choices with those circumstances because it is my life and how could anyone else no better....right..??? Wrong, that just means that I was not willing to be open and *teachable*.

I am being very honest here, up until the past few days, I really honestly felt that my conscience was clear and that I had it under control with these issues. BUT, I have really had my eyes opened, and have felt conviction in my heart through the rebuke of a friend.

I don't know why God crosses our paths with some people, I really don't. But, I do believe that ALL things work together for the good of those that love Him. (that tells me there is no such thing as a coincidence.) All things happen for a reason, and purpose.

I have recently met someone who has challengled me, and caused growth in me that I really did not think needed to be done with these circumstances at the stage and age I am at.

So, here is an example of one of the issues....and you are welcome to leave feedback if you'd like, but I really am just posting this to get people to think about how they do things in their life, how what they may say or do will have an impact on someone and how we ALWAYS need to remain open to being teachable.

I am a single mom, not by choice. My former husband was never involved in our lives, and he is the one who chose to abandon the marriage and file for divorce. I think I have been hiding a bit (without realizing it, and without intent) behind the mask of...*I have done everything right*, *and I did not bring this on* etc etc etc....and I think it may have caused me to really not make some good choices.

Fathers day (here in the US) is tomorrow. (Sunday, June, 21) As the christian mother of these wonderful children I have.......what is my responsibility in that..?? I will be honest and say that I have blocked that out of my mind until this past week.

I know I am not responsible for what others do...BUT, I am responsible for how I react to what they do. It is really time for me to step and live that out more than ever in the areas of my life. I did not realize I was ignoreing it, I just thought I was justified. (sad huh..?)

This is advice that I could totally see myself giving to someone else......because it is the core of my beliefs and the right thing to do. But, when pointed out to me....oh my did it sting a little. I have to say that if I did not have as much trust in this person as I do, then I am not sure how I would have heeded their words. But since I knew their words were spoken out of love and truth...how could I not really listen..?

It does not matter what my former husband has done to me in my time of knowing him.....in raising these children, it is my job to instruct them in the way of scripture and faith. Honoring your father and mother is a big part of that.
I will be honest, I DO NOT want to sit down and encourage my children to make fathers day cards for their dad. But, it is my job, as they are young, to point them in the right direction for their well-being. I am going to have a bit of growing pains in this. But at the same time I am kind of excited.

I think this may be the final stage of forgiveness for me. Forgiveness for the BIG picture of what all that has happened that has brought us to this point where things are not ideal or easy. I know that there may be things that will continue to happen, and that is ok..I will face them as they come.

I am thankful that this person cared enough to be rather harsh and stern with me. Like I said, it stung a bit...but I really know that it was done with love and truth in mind.

I have learned that I am teachable. Are you teachable..?? Really teachable..? or were you like me and thought you just had it all figured out and that others did not know what they were talking about because your circumstances were soooooo unique that they just needed to mind their own business..? I mean, how could THEY possibly know better thank you..??

I hope my heart on this matter has come accross alright....Although the past two weeks for me have been some of the worst two weeks in some ways....they have also been some of the best. Gods pretty good like that.

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings. Take care.

 

[carpetmanswife]

Grace , I for one appreciate your openess and honesty . I know its not easy to let our 'junk' out for all to see. I so understand where you are coming from , Gods been taking me around this mountain myself ,over and over...recently with my daughter in law ,also with previous incedents that happened many yrs ago. This forgiveness thing i believe is a process many times *it has been for me anyway* and it can be long and painful ,ive even caught myself shaking my head to try to get thoughts out of my head ,thoughts of what these ppl have done to me . so i can relate . We are on the right track , God is working on us as daughters that He loves so thats a wonderful thing Im hopin the absolute best for you , thanks again for sharing your struggle.


P.S. my signature i posted before i read your post lol...today even, so see we are on the same page my friend ..weird eh

 

[missy2shoes]

I know I am not responsible for what others do...BUT, I am responsible for how I react to what they do. It is really time for me to step and live that out more than ever in the areas of my life. I did not realize I was ignoreing it, I just thought I was justified. (sad huh..?)..........quote by Grace......

ohhhhh this is the toughest lesson to learn.......I am currently struggling with this myself.......when I'm around a certain person close to me.....everything they do irritates me to the core.....

I don't hate them....I say this to God....like somehow that makes it alright ya know?......but He has been prodding me with this question.....do I love them?........and not just, ohhh of course I love them kinda answer....but love in the way He defines the word.....love is long suffering.....is patient....is kind.....DOES NOT KEEP A RECORD OF WRONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......gahhhhhhh.......tis so hard......

 

[missy2shoes]

I found the following example on forgiveness by a respected Christian teacher, the late Derek Prince.......it sums up what forgiveness really means.....

You need to forgive all other persons. Jesus said when you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, what did He say to do? Forgive, that’s right. Anything against anyone. That leaves out nothing and no one. Unforgiveness in your heart is a barrier to the answer to your prayers. Now, forgiving is not an emotion, it’s a decision. I tell people it’s tearing up the IOU. I don’t know whether I’ve got time to tell this but I think of a woman. I was preaching on this, explaining how many wives who’ve been mistreated by their husbands still suffer because they’ve never forgiven. And I said it’s like this. You have in your hand a sheaf of IOUs from your husband. I owe you love, support, honor, care, et cetera.
Those are perfectly valid, they’re legal. But God has in His hand up in heaven a sheaf of much larger IOUs from you to Him. Now, God says we’ll make a deal. You tear up your IOUs and I’ll tear up mine. But if you hold onto yours, I’ll hold onto mine. So, if you want to be forgiven you have to forgive. You don’t have any options. Well, at the end of one message I hadn’t done anything, just finished preaching. A young woman of about thirty, really sophisticated, smart looking woman, marched right up the aisle to the pulpit. I wondered what she was going to do, was she going to assault me or what. She looked me right in the face and said, “Mr. Prince, I just want to tell you that while you were preaching I got rid of about $30,000 worth of IOUs.” Turned around and walked out. I mean, I didn’t have to say a thing to her, she had got the message. I wish everybody would get it that quickly! So you have to forgive other persons.

 

[faith79]

Grace,
thanks so much for your post full of wisdom and encouragement - the kind that we often receive only when brought to our knees. God "prunes" us so we do indeed bear fruit. It takes humility on our part to be teachable - and thank God that he has the love, patience, and grace to teach us!